June Ansheng

It had been night for a long time, and the sky had already darkened. Through the glass of the window, one could faintly see the moon surrounded by a faint, fluffy light.

Only Han Junhao and I were left in the practice room, and the last trainee left just now, leaving only the two of us, still dancing endlessly.

Of course, I lose every time.

"Brother, let me win at least once, it's so boring to play like this." I took a deep breath and exhaled all at once, the sides of my face puffed up slightly, "Why don't you be considerate, I have long hands and feet and my body It's uncoordinated."

"I'm a senior after all. I can't justify losing to you, right?" Han Junhao was still stepping in front of the mirror. It was a dance he had choreographed by himself. When I danced for the first time, I played B-box next to him. But now I don't have the strength or the mood, I just sit aside and stare blankly at him, watching him twist his body without accompaniment.

"Hey hey, it's late, go back and wash and go to bed." I stood up from the ground, and while I was combing my hair in front of the mirror, I encouraged him: "I don't want to be the last one to leave the company, I think After a while, the security guards will come over to chase people away."

"Ah...ah? It's so late." He obviously just realized the night outside, raised his head and looked at the wall clock on the wall, and suddenly came to his senses: "Why do I feel that time is passing faster every day? Oh, I don’t have enough time for practice, I still want to make my debut... well, let’s not talk about it, let’s go.”

I watched him come to me and pick up the bag, patted the ashes on it and put it on his back, and suddenly felt an inexplicable sadness.He was already walking towards the door of the practice room, so I could only quickly pick up my bag and catch up with him.I patted his shoulder lightly, but I couldn't say a word of comfort.

It was originally, this is something neither of us is sure about, he wants it, and I want it too.The practice time seems to be endless day by day. If you make a debut in the future, the practice time will definitely become a capital of pride, but after so many years, if you don't make a debut, so what will happen.

If the time wasted in vain is given up later, what is lost at the same time will be the future.It's been so long, even if you can't hold on, you still have to go on.

Because, I can't bear to give up everything I have now.

Han Junhao was still nagging endlessly all the way, and I could only listen all the way habitually, my eyes swept across the empty practice rooms, and the darkness inside seemed to suck people in, so I couldn't help but go to Han Junhao's side Lean on.

"Yeah, are you scared? You say you're a big man, and you're still afraid of the dark?" Han Junhao must have sensed something strange about me, he pushed me with his shoulder, and said with a smile, "Unexpected."

I didn't answer his words, but leaned closer to him again.The one he pushed me just now was actually not heavy, but because I was so defenseless, I almost fell.I staggered, and I felt that I was leaning into the bottomless darkness again, so I had the cheek to stick back to Han Junhao's side.

There was a practice room not far away with the lights still on. I recognized it as the piano classroom where musical instrument lessons were usually given, so I trotted forward and looked inside the door.At this point, the teachers should all be gone. There are a lot of musical instruments in the piano room, and there is no space to practice in it. So who could it be?

"Hey, why are you going?" Han Junhao yelled a few words behind me, and ran forward following my footsteps.I leaned against the wall and poked my head out to look inside. Before my eyes could focus, Han Junhao had already run to the door and pushed me on the back.

I was still lying on the wall, and Han Junhao couldn't push me at all.

Inside the door is Nangong Xiayun.He was sitting by the huge French window, looking down at the bustling city of Seoul downstairs. The pure white curtains swayed up and down in the wind, just covering him. From my perspective, he was already It is looming.

It seemed that even his breathing was forced to stop for a moment, and the air froze because of his silence.

"I didn't expect someone to be later than us, but he doesn't look like he's practicing." Han Junhao put his hands on my shoulders, and imitated me and put his chin in the socket of my neck. His movements were stimulated, and he shrank back to the wall.He then asked me: "I don't seem to have any impression of this person, is he new here?"

"That, someone I know, go say hello." I turned my head and glanced at Han Junhao, and unconsciously my words faltered, "That's it, the one you mentioned, the new trainee." "

Han Junhao didn't answer, or I didn't wait for his answer.The slight noise outside the piano was gently carried into the room by the breeze, especially in a quiet environment, but Nangong Xiayun, his posture did not intend to move at all.

"Nangong Xiayun!" I stepped into the piano room and was about to run towards him, but I was scared as soon as I lifted my foot, so I obediently stood at the door and called his name.He turned around and smiled towards me.

But just for a moment, the arc of his mouth drooped again.He moved his head back out of the window again.

I was stunned for a moment, and then I knew that I was allowed to enter, so I laughed again, and ran to his side at a faster pace.

He didn't move, as if he had expected my entry a long time ago.

I looked at his indifferent expression, unconsciously lightened my steps, and approached slowly.Be careful like treating a sacred treasure in your own mind.

When I walked to his side, I realized that all the cold aura on his body had disappeared, and the drooping corners of his eyes conveyed a gentle attitude.Unlike the first time we met, he didn't have the indifference of being thousands of miles away. I couldn't help but feel happy, he is now easier to be approached.

But he didn't say a word. I saw that he was still holding the phone in his hand, and the screen was still on. It must be a text message page. The text on it was probably in Chinese, and I couldn't understand it.I don't know what happened, but at this moment, I just want to be with him.

Even if it's sad, even if it's hell ahead, please let me be with him.I waited for him, waiting for him to turn around, even if he just looked at me.

I am all ready.

"Rencan, this trainee..." Han Junhao had followed me into the piano room at some point, and was putting his hands on my shoulders, looking at Nangong Xiayun, hesitant to speak , "Forget it, that... It's not a big deal. Since you two know each other, you can go back with him later. Just chat, don't be too late, the company dormitory has access control, and the security guard will Come up and chase people away."

I turned around and smiled at him, but seeing his sad face, I thought he was not in a good mood because of the debut thing mentioned just now, so I patted him on the shoulder to express comfort.He glanced at me, lowered his head and shook his head, turned and walked out of the piano room.

I watched Han Junhao leave the piano room, and turned around again, only to realize that Nangong Xiayun had been looking at me at some point.I met his gaze and suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, so I turned my head away.

"Nangong Xiayun, um, what's going on at your house...over there?" As soon as I said the words, I felt something was wrong, so I hurriedly shook my head, pointed to the phone in his arms, subconsciously Touching the back of the neck, he explained: "I didn't mean that, I just... saw your mobile phone... You are not in a good mood, I just care, nothing else, really... "

At the end of the conversation, the voice became smaller and smaller.He must have experienced many things in the company that I don't know about. If he speaks frivolously, it may touch his bad memories.Thinking of this, I tilted my head and didn't dare to look at him, but from the corner of my eye I saw that he looked away again and looked at the city of Seoul below again.

He must be disappointed in me.

"Nangong Xiayun, although I don't know what happened, let me stay with you, just stay by your side." I looked at his side face without any emotional change, knowing that he had acquiesced, So she happily moved to sit opposite him, and followed his gaze to Seoul, which had no sense of reality at the moment.

I suddenly found that this kind of scenery seems very strange. In the city where I was born and grew up, I have never enjoyed such a neglected scenery at night.When I was young, I was not allowed to go out after dinner. After I went to school, I kept running around for my studies. After graduation, I joined GIF as a trainee and ran in the company dormitory at two o'clock and one line. There seems to be no moment as peaceful as today, where I can have a good time. Take a look at your surroundings.There are dots of lights on the side of the road, and you can vaguely recognize cars passing by on the road. I never knew that this city has always been beautiful.

"Nangong Xiayun, your... this name is so long, and it sounds unfamiliar. Do you... have any other names?" I looked at his face and carefully broke the long silence , Every word and every sentence should be as gentle as possible.I was looking forward to his response, and I was a little anxious: "Or, is it okay to just call him by his surname or first name? Or... I don't know much about China, and I haven't made friends in China before...."

"I'm from Guangzhou, does Guangzhou know?" He looked up at me, stretched his legs, and wrapped his arms around his knees.Such actions made him feel helpless, and I even suddenly had the idea of ​​hugging.He continued: "In the local dialect, sometimes people are called 'Sheng', that is, the word 'Sheng' follows the surname, but it is generally used to address some unfamiliar people."

"Unfamiliar? That's not good." I thought for a while, and felt that since it was rare for him to bring it up, I should follow his wishes, but I also felt that it was not appropriate: "Is it an honorific?"

"There is no distinction between honorific and ordinary language in Chinese. If it is unfamiliar, most people will think so, but if it is a friend, it may not be so." His eyes gradually became foggy, as if he was caught in memory , I kept quiet and waited for his follow-up: "When I was young, I had a very good brother. We went home together after school and often played together. We would often call each other what happened. It was just a joke, but at that time I thought it was fun, so I called it."

"Hmm... I really didn't expect that a person as cold as you would have such a good friend." I deliberately squinted at him and joked.There are layers of fog in his eyes, making it difficult for people to see his true heart. "Then what happened afterwards? How did you and him go? Did you tell him about your coming to Korea? He must be happy for you too."

"Later...there was no later." He spoke intermittently, making it difficult to hear clearly, "He died in a car accident. He didn't have any relatives in his family, and he didn't even have anyone who could grieve for him, so he was cremated hastily." gone."

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't know it would be like this... You should also be sad and change." I lowered my head and played back what he said just now in my mind, and finally found a loophole, and suddenly raised my head: "That's not right... what? There will be no one who can feel sad for him, isn't there... and you?"

"Me? Why should I be sad?" He buried his head in his arms, his shoulders began to shake violently as he breathed out, I was about to lean over, but suddenly found him laughing, unscrupulously: "It's all because of me that he got into a car accident. He came to me to protect me... But I pushed him out and pushed him to death. I want to live..."

I was stunned, words that I didn't expect flowed out word by word from his mouth.

"Today is his death day."

"Ten years."

He finally raised his head, and he laughed out loud, but why did I see tears in his eyes.

Why do you have to pretend, won't you be tired?

People are selfish, some people get what they want because of selfishness, but he made himself bear it for so many years because of a moment of selfishness.How did he manage to survive? In the first few days, he felt like dying every day, so he locked himself up and faced everything alone.

He is alone.

"Don't you hate me? Let's just pretend that what happened tonight didn't happen, and you and I are still strangers. You go, isn't there a gate control in the dormitory? Go back early, your roommate will worry if it's too late .” His laughter gradually died down, and he regained the indifference of the first meeting.He stood up slowly, and walked towards the piano beside him, "I have to stay here for a while, go back, and I will be a stranger you don't know from now on."

"Is it interesting to push the first friend you made in Korea away from yourself?" I looked up at him, looking at his figure behind his back, "No matter what you were like in the past, and no matter what happened to you Good thing, what I care about is just you now, which makes me want to get close."

Did you show me your worst wounds and run away?Are you trying to scare me away by disguising yourself in the most vicious look?But you are wrong, leave me alone, the wound will heal, as long as you don't stimulate it all the time, even if there is a scar in the future, it will gradually fade away.It hurts to let go of the wound, but it doesn't matter, I will be by your side.

"Don't say something that will make you regret it in a flash. I can pretend that I didn't hear what happened just now." His figure still turned his back to me, and his tone seemed to be that he was used to such scenes.He stood next to the piano, stroking the dark outer wall of the instrument carefully, as gently as if he was facing a holy object: "One night is enough to wake you up. Whatever your choice is, tomorrow will naturally come."

"Is your surname Nan?"

"what?"

I saw him turn around, frowning.I don't know whether he didn't understand the "what" or not, so I repeated it patiently: "Let me ask you, is your surname Nan?"

He stopped talking, just looked at me, his blank eyes told me his confusion at the moment.

"Nansheng, can I stay?" I mustered up the courage to say what I had been thinking for a long time, and turned my head away from looking at him, only feeling a burning heat spread from the corner of my mouth to my cheeks, then my ears and neck. "I haven't heard you play the piano yet. I want to listen, just for one night... If it disturbs you, I'll leave now. But... can you, don't drive me away again. "

He still didn't speak, but I saw his eyebrows loosen, and I knew he had an answer.

"Nansheng." I repeated it carefully, as if afraid that he would refuse, "I, can I?"

May I?Am I qualified to enter your heart?

It should be, yes.

So he smiled, the kind of relieved smile.He walked over to the piano bench and sat down. He didn't say much, but I got it.He acquiesced, I can stay.

I can stay, in his heart.He'll clean up a clean place for me, and I can live in it without worry.

I stood up and walked to another corner to sit down.At that angle, I couldn't see his face clearly, I could only see his concentrated back, but at the same time, he couldn't see me either.

This feeling is pretty good.

At least, I like it very much.

"Rencan, I'm here every night. If you want to hear it in the future, come here." His voice came from the front, but not far away, and I couldn't help grinning when I heard his voice Laughing, "Also...my surname is not Nan, but Nangong is my surname."

So I laughed out loud, I saw his shoulders shaking up and down, it must be very happy.It was the first time, seeing this person smiling so happily, so defenseless.

He no longer decides to lock himself up, he is willing to meet the sun of tomorrow once in a while.

The laughter gradually died down, and finally disappeared.I saw him caressing the black and white keys with his hands, sliding his fingertips across the smooth surface, his slender fingers were unbelievably beautiful, and the joints were all blue and white.

His hand gradually moved over a key, and then slowly pressed the first note.It's a Japanese song, I've heard it, it's a song by a singer I like very much, the melody of the whole song matches her voice just right, it's so ethereal and beautiful.

The piano seems to be injected with soul, every sound is so vivid.

So I couldn't help but open my mouth and sing along.

"Xia の yang は yin っ て wind が extravagant い た"

——When the summer is covered with haze and the wind blows slightly

"二つ重なって"

——Our shadows overlap each other

"生きた证を私は歌う"

- Evidence of being alive I would like to sing forever

"名もなき者のため"

——For the nameless life in the world

At the end of the song, I found myself still staring at the black figure not far away. During this not-so-long playing time, my gaze never left him.

His shoulders moved suddenly, at first it was just a slight arc shaking, probably he couldn't let it go, but in the end, he completely let go of all guards, hugged himself and cried bitterly, his hands trembling.

I hurriedly got up and ran towards him.

Isn't it just a few steps away?Why does it seem like a century has passed?

But my belief in wanting to run to him was so strong.

He was crying, his chest heaving unstoppably, I looked at him, but couldn't make a sound for a while.I don't know how to comfort him, let alone how long I can be by his side.Looking at his red and swollen eyes, I frowned slightly, stretched out my hand to embrace his body, leaned on my waist, and just patted his shoulders randomly with my hands without rhythm.He is so thin, his shoulder blades are already sharp, holding him, my hands hurt so much.

But it seems that the heart hurts more.

"never mind."

There will be me in the future.

The author has something to say:

Look, look, the chapter is long