double struggle

Chu Wendao was woken up by the chatter and laughter coming from downstairs. Everything in this house is good, but the sound insulation is not very good.He propped himself up subconsciously, and the touch of the plush under his palm made him stunned.He looked down at the quilt that had slipped off his shoulders, and then at the curtain next to him.

He probably fell asleep by the window last night in a daze. The quilt should be added to him by Chu's mother last night.Chu Wendao sat up straight with his teeth bared, his spine ached faintly, which made him admit his old age.

Recently, he has been a little lethargic, and he can often fall asleep while sitting.Once people become lazy, all kinds of bad habits follow.

Chu Wendao slowed down for a while, and went to wash slowly.Sitting on the table and sleeping all night, the quality of sleep has obviously declined. After tossing for a long time, he still feels that his head is not very clear.

The liveliness of the living room was in stark contrast to the desertedness of the bedroom, Chu Wendao stood at the stairs and paused.Chen Shanshan, who hadn't seen her for a long time, was sitting in the living room, unable to figure out the situation for a while.

"Our Young Master Chu has finally woken up." Chen Shanshan joked when she saw her cousin.Her sharp eyes, Chu Wendao just came out of the bedroom, she immediately noticed.

Chu Wendao scratched his hair, went down the stairs and went to the kitchen.

"We went to drink morning tea this morning, and I packed some food for you. You can warm it up." Mother Chu called after him.

It's winter, thanks to them being able to go out for morning tea so early.There are quite a lot of things packed, including fried noodles, steamed buns, shrimp dumplings, steamed chicken feet... They are basically the dim sum that Chu Wendao likes to eat.He piled all the breakfast in the plastic box into a plate, turned on the microwave and stuffed it in.

Chen Shanshan and his parents didn't know what they were talking about, they were laughing and joking.Although Chu Wendao and Chen Shanshan are cousins, they grew up together, but their personalities are completely different.Chen Shanshan always has that ability to liven up the atmosphere, as if she can chat with anyone.In contrast, Chu Wendao was too quiet.

He didn't intend to go out at this time either, he poured a glass of milk from the refrigerator, and sipped it at the freezing temperature.His throat seemed to be stabbed by a needle, and he couldn't help but choked, but his mind gradually came to his senses.

Chu Wendao took out his mobile phone from his pocket. He didn't log out of WeChat last night, and several chat boxes popped up as soon as he opened the lock screen.Most of them were group messages of blessings. He glanced at them twice and slid his thumb down on the screen.

He seemed to be looking forward to it. He always felt that after waiting all night, even though he fell asleep in the end, he should still care.I can't tell what it's like, it's just like when I handed over the thesis to the tutor, and then waited anxiously and nervously for the grading.

Three hours after he sent the message, Xu Qingzhou really replied, it was a voice.

It should be early morning at that time, Chu Wendao didn't have the habit of counting down to watch the new year. A long time ago, Sun Hai would drag him to watch the new year. Later, as he got older, he didn't want to join in the fun.It's like this every year, it's really nothing new.Thinking that Xu Qingzhou still has the vigor of young people, he can't help but feel envious.

Chu Wendao turned down the volume of the phone, turned on the voice, and pressed the receiver to his ear.

"Teacher, Happy New Year." Xu Qingzhou was very quiet, not looking like he was watching the year.When Chu Wendao was thinking wildly, Xu Qingzhou's gentle voice continued to echo in his ears: "Teacher, I am really happy this year, I think this is my luckiest year...you can think of me at this time, I Really happy."

Chu Wendao's hand holding the phone tightened slightly, guilt entangled his heart.He never thought that a blessing he raised would make Xu Qingzhou so happy.It's like getting the most extravagant gift, but it's obviously just a few insignificant words.

He doesn't have the habit of sending blessings to friends on the list, mainly because he finds it troublesome.When he was still with Zhang Zhiyuan before, he devoted himself to that person, let alone thinking of other people.And after Xu Qingzhou expressed his heart, this blessing became special overnight.Xu Qingzhou didn't expect that Chu Wendao would take the initiative to send blessings to him, and Chu Wendao himself didn't know why he sent Xu Qingzhou a message.

Chu Wendao is not a procrastination person, he really doesn't want to continue the next relationship immediately, and also feels that Xu Qingzhou is too close to him, and he always feels a little unnatural.He dullly discovered that his actions these days were not like his usual style.

Chu Wendao lived for more than 30 years, read so many books of sages, and met so many people. At this time, he was like a fledgling child, feeling hesitant and confused.

"What are you thinking about?"

Seeing that it was Chen Shanshan, Chu Wendao raised his eyelids and smiled, then put down the phone as if nothing had happened.

Chen Shanshan looked him up and down, and poked Chu Wendao's shoulder with a half-smile.She grew up with Chu Wendao and knew every little detail about Chu Wendao.

"Stop pretending—boyfriend?" She imitated Chu Wendao and leaned on the kitchen counter, blinking slyly.

Chen Shanshan was only two years older than Chu Wendao, and they were closer. At first, Chu Wendao didn't hide his sexuality from her.To be honest, Chen Shanshan knew Chu Wendao's secret earlier than Chu Wendao's parents.

"No," Chu Wendao put a damp cloth on his hand, and took out the plate from the microwave, "It's just the students I taught before."

"Oh, teacher-student relationship?"

"Chen Shanshan, you can eat indiscriminately, but you can't talk indiscriminately."

Chen Shanshan snorted, seeing that Chu Wendao was about to go out with a pair of chopsticks, she stretched her legs to block the door.Chu Wendao took a few steps back and put the plate on the kitchen counter. If he didn't satisfy Chen Shanshan's curiosity, he might have to stay in the kitchen all day.

"Don't blame my cousin for talking too much, I think it's very wise for you to break up with that Zhang Zhiyuan." Chen Shanshan suddenly said with righteous indignation.

From the time when Chu Wendao and Zhang Zhiyuan were together, Chen Shanshan had a lot of opinions on Zhang Zhiyuan.She always said that she is very accurate in judging people, and the success story is her husband who is now like a wife and slave.She told Chu Wendao more than once that Zhang Zhiyuan seemed to be a ruthless and ungrateful person at first glance, and if he had been hanging on him for so many years, I was afraid that his affection would not be one-tenth of Chu Wendao's.Chu Wendao didn't refute or agree before, and pretended not to care like a self-deception.

Chu Wendao picked up a fried dumpling and chewed it slowly.

"Eat and eat, you know how to eat." Chen Shanshan twisted Chu Wendao's arm, "You are already in your thirties, why don't you hurry up and make a good plan for yourself."

"Aren't I thinking about it for myself? I asked your dad to help me transfer to G University, and I have a bright future." Chu Wendao poked the radish cake into several pieces and ate it with relish.The dim sum made by this restaurant is not bad, and the reheated taste is not bad.

Chen Shanshan said: "Don't play dumb, I mean hurry up and find someone to spend time with, I don't want to see you grow old and have no one to accompany you."

"Sister, I just fell out of love, so you asked me to find someone." Chu Wendao sighed helplessly, "You think I am Wei Xiaobao, and I can choose a few wives."

"Isn't your circle very lacking? What's the difference between you and Wei Xiaobao?" At first, Chen Shanshan had a deep understanding of the gay circle after knowing her cousin's sexuality. She knew everything she should know, and probably knew what she didn't.

Chu Wendao was speechless. Chen Shanshan's words were correct, but they were not consistent with what he wanted to express.

"Sister, you are the mother of a 10-year-old child, can you stop being so straightforward." He sighed again.

Chen Shanshan stared: "So what? Even if my daughter is 20 years old, you are still my cousin. I care about you. What's wrong with you? It's not good for my aunt to tell you these things, so I can only tell you. I find it annoying."

When Chu Wendao heard Chen Shanshan mention Chu's mother, he opened his mouth and closed it again.

"Sometimes I really feel that you and your uncle have very similar personalities. Sometimes you are as stubborn as a cow. It was before and it is still now. I heard that it is best if you can come out, but don't stop. You should understand, The most exciting ten years have passed, but there is still a way to go.”

Chen Shanshan's voice gradually softened, probably because she became a mother, and even the way she preached changed.But Chu Wendao looked back and thought that everyone in their thirties had changed in many aspects except the way they spoke.

Chu Wendao remained silent, his eyes fell on the chopsticks.One person says so, two people say the same.

He also wanted to put it down gently, as they say, if he could.But this is very contradictory. Ten years of relationship, nine years of getting along, how can it be so easy to forget?Chu Wendao asked himself that he was not a heartless person, so he was already working hard.

"Sister, you said I understand everything, but you have to give me some time." After a long silence, he said, "When you married your cousin-in-law, you struggled for several years, why are you so anxious to come here? "

Chen Shanshan said: "Can I not be in a hurry? You haven't said who you were listening to just now."

Why did you return to the original topic in the blink of an eye?Chu Wendao admired Chen Shanshan's perseverance.

"I said, that's the graduate student I brought up before." He had no choice but to repeat.

"Who are you lying to? Do you think your sister and I are blind?" Chen Shanshan raised her eyebrows and stared intently at Chu Wendao, making her spine shudder. "You should really look at yourself at that moment." The expression, a look of being trapped by love."

Chu Wendao touched his face subconsciously, and muttered in doubt: "Is there?"

"Unless I'm blind." Chen Shanshan said.

Chu Wendao shrugged and looked elsewhere.It is impossible to be perfunctory, and he is considering how to express it properly.

"Sister, I really didn't lie to you, that's really my student." He cleared his throat, threw the chopsticks into the sink, turned on the tap and rubbed his hands.The sound of rushing water well concealed his unnaturalness: "He... If he wanted to say something, it should be that he confessed to me."

Chen Shanshan quickly grasped the point: "Is he chasing you?"

"You can put it that way." Chu Wendao himself was not too sure.

Since Xu Qingzhou confessed to himself that night, how the two of them should get along or how to get along with each other, there is a sense of distance between gentlemen.When Chen Shanshan said that, he realized belatedly that Xu Qingzhou didn't seem to be chasing himself, but he was chasing after him to be nice to others.

"He has liked you for a long time." Chen Shanshan guessed accurately.

Chu Wendao slammed the faucet off, staring at his rubbed red fingers in a daze.

"Well, I hadn't broken up with Zhang Zhiyuan at that time, and if he didn't tell me, I pretended not to know." He said.

"Did you refuse?"

"I tried, but it didn't work out."

"You've always been decisive."

Chu Wendao turned his head and looked at Chen Shanshan quietly.The authorities are confused by the bystanders, and he thinks that Chen Shanshan can help him.

Chen Shanshan suddenly showed a sweet smile, as if she was telling a well-known fact: "But you have softened your heart, it has been like this since childhood, only when you have an important position in your heart, you will soften your heart again and again .”

"Sister, don't laugh at me." Chu Wendao pursed his lips mockingly.

"I didn't laugh at you. Before, the Chihuahua was diagnosed not long after it was bought. It should have been euthanized, but every time you relented, you hugged such a small dog and hid in the room to coax it." Chen Shanshan recalled the past, and the smile on the corner of her mouth deepened.

She still remembers this incident vividly. At that time, Chu Wendao was only 14 years old and she was 16 years old.In my impression, this good-looking boy is holding the puppy who is only a few months old in both hands, curled up on the blanket, the sun is shining in the hair, everything looks so beautiful and peaceful.

"Why don't you try it." Chen Shanshan didn't understand the "student" that Chu Wendao was talking about, but she simply felt that if she could keep someone in her heart for so long, she must be very fond of him.

She is married and understands how rare such a person is.She was lucky enough to be a partner with one of them, and hoped that her cousin would be as lucky.

Chu Wendao frowned and didn't answer.