Disqualification

After Takano Ryoko's death, Butterfly Kanae finished reading some novels published by Osamu Dazai.

She can only pick out a little time for reading, 24 hours a day, four to six hours of sleep, and the rest are all occupied by killing ghosts, studying, and treating. Come out and read.

When I arrived at the church on Saturday, Zhu Shi had already started voluntary medical treatment, and Kanae poured out her essay collection when drawing cases.

"Fiction?" Zhu Shiduo asked.

"Prose." Kanae said, "Mr. Dazai's prose is very popular recently."

"Um--"

"Has Miss Zhu Shi read it?"

"No, no," she said with a smile, "I don't like his name much."

"Hey?"

[This is the first time I have heard of this reason. ]

"My son." Zhu Shi said, "They have the same name."

At that time, Butterfly Kanae already knew that Miss Zhushi's adopted son died unexpectedly. From this point of view, it is understandable not to want to hear the name. The pain will only fade, but it will never disappear.

[I can't forget that day, even though my hands are full of strength, I can lift the sun wheel knife and save countless people who were almost killed by ghosts, I still can't forget that day, my parents died to protect us, only Shinobu, me and her survived. ] Parents’ names are not uncommon. Occasionally, when walking on the road, you will hear someone calling the same name, and you can’t help but look back.

[Saw it. ]

"That's it." Her voice was so soft that she almost couldn't hear, "I... I'm sorry."

"No." Zhu Shi said, "It's not your problem."

……

[It is my problem. ]

[Ghosts should not dream. ] Sometimes Zhu Shi would think of Aji’s question at that time, “Is it possible that people don’t dream?” Her answer is vivid, “If you don’t dream, you are not human.”

You see, she is no longer a human being, but why does Mengjing refuse to let her go?

[Because I have sinned deeply. ]

The longer the time passes, the deeper the memory will be. Those happy, ordinary memories that record every bit of life. Before the sudden illness, her health was not very good, but she was able to enjoy the cherry blossoms with the whole family. Bring fresh hibiscus flowers dripping with dew to the bedside, and tell me biting and ironic witticisms.

No matter how sweet the memory is when you are awake, every time you dream, there is only one scene.

[That was a nightmare I will never forget. ]

In fact, she is not unaware of the problem. No matter how much rice she eats, her appetite cannot be satisfied. Her mind is full of hunger, hunger, hunger, hunger, and her sense of smell has become much more sensitive. Her eyes can't help but fall on the blue under the white skin on the blood vessels.

The husband accidentally cut his thumb, and the blood dripped danglingly on his hand.

"Zhu Shi!" The husband opened his eyes wide and said cheerfully and pleasantly, "You are well! You can get out of bed now!"

[An idiot, I don’t realize anything except my body. ]

He was happy with all his heart, and chattered and said: "Just in time, we are recuperating for a few days, and when the weather is warmer, we will go to see the spring cherry blossoms together. The cherry blossoms on the mountain are much more beautiful than those on both sides of Suzaku Avenue. Ask Azhi to go with him. How can a boy of this age be bored at home and study hard every day..."

Their adopted son, 15 years old.

Zhu Shi listened to each other, with a happy and satisfied smile on her face. She felt uneasy, but the future of "appreciating cherry blossoms with her family" was too tempting, and she subconsciously ignored all the problems.

[No, if you really want to say something, someone has not ignored it. ]

The more time passed, the clearer Aji's eyes were at that time. After 200 years of their death, Zhu Shi finally remembered.

[He. Never. Never. Have. Laughed. ]

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry...

When she wakes up from the dream, she will cover her mouth with her palms and weep silently. Her husband is lying beside her. His body is already cold. The room is bloody. Blood and minced flesh.

The husband's body was intact, with scratch marks on his neck, and she didn't even eat a piece of his flesh. The scene was sealed deep in her memory and she couldn't recall it, but she could speculate.

When her husband came home, he saw her lose all sense and gnawed on Azhi in his arms. He panicked and tried to separate them, but his unconscious self scratched his paw. The scratch cut the main artery on his neck, and the blood spurted out. All over the sky, he was struggling with "hohoho", letting out the last cause of anger before death, while watching himself eat Azhi.

Until death.

/ She dreamed of a pale corpse, dripping with blood. /

Sometimes Zhu Shi would think painfully, what was that child like before he died?Will he yell in panic, or stare at himself with his calm eyes like stagnant water.Seeing his body being torn into pieces, seeing his imaginary happiness being smashed with a hammer, breaking apart like pieces of porcelain.

[I hate my avoidance the most. I clearly realized that I was wrong, but I didn't say anything. ]

[I fell asleep, and Ah Zhi, he was awake from the beginning to the end. ]

[He listened to me describe the beautiful life in the future, heard me decide to accept the bloody treatment, and saw me becoming like a wild animal longing for human flesh, and he put on a happy smile on his face and told him that he would go to enjoy the flowers together . ]

[Finally watching me eat him. ]

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry...

……

"This, this." Mami restrained herself with all her might, trying to stop the surging saliva, but they kept making their own way, popping out from under her tongue like a Baotu Spring in winter.

Her hands twisted and twisted under the table.

Mami is different from the children born and raised in Hexia District. She has a good face. At home, she attended a free private school run by the church for the poor. That little educational experience distinguished her from illiterate wild women and taught her what is Self-esteem and shame.

"Can I take them away?" She looked at the delicious tonkatsu rice, "I want to take them to my sister."

Butterfly Kanae didn't show obvious sympathy, that's not good.

Volunteer life taught her to respect and not to sympathize with those who are still trying to dress neatly down the river.

"Of course." Dazai said, tapping his index finger on the table, "but I suggest you eat it, considering that we will pay you extra, a whole bag of flour."

Mami opened her eyes wide.

"In order for you to better answer our questions, I suggest you eat it." Dazai was quite good at women, "In order not to make you faint during the answering process."

"I..." Mami no longer refuses, she has not eaten meat for a long time, maybe a year and a half, Butterfly Kanae said, "Try to eat slowly, if you eat less for a long time, the digestion ability of the stomach will weaken. Too fast is not good for your health."

Knowing this, Mami nodded and took Butterfly Kanae's suggestion, chewing each bite thirty times.

After eating, she took a long breath and said: "Then, two... adults." After considering the honorific title, "What do you want to know?"

"The ecology of young girls in Hexia." Dazai said bluntly, "What kind of work are you doing, how many hours do you work every day, and how much income do you have, and that income can support a normal life."

Mami breathed a sigh of relief: "Just... these questions?"

"Maybe there will be expansion." Dazai took out the paper and pen, and he was very familiar with the movement of turning the pen. Asami looked at his pen with eyes full of awe.

She explained in detail: "There are not many types of jobs we can do. My mother is better at crafting and can do mending, but I can only help people starch and wash clothes."

"The best thing is to work as a female textile worker in a factory, but the number of textile factories is too small, and many people will apply for it." She said anxiously, "If you can go to a textile factory, you can earn two yuan a month and eat only wheat. If you eat bran, you will be full."

The questions went down one after another. Dazai had a professional attitude and would record something in his notebook from time to time.

"I heard." He said, "The more poor and chaotic the place, the more rampant the human traffickers." His voice is full of temptation, coupled with the slightly trembling upper eyelids, one has to believe the sincerity of his emotions, " Especially young and pretty girls, some of them will be trafficked and sold to Nanyang to be Miss Tanglou."

"Is anyone missing down the river?"

"There must be." The first sentence was decisive, and the second sentence was a little melancholy. Mami began to wring her fingers again. The patched kimono fabric was mixed between the fingers, and she picked up a handful by herself, crumpled.

The sun shone through the cheap frosted glass windows, and Mami hadn't suffered enough. Her hair was as smooth as black silk, the fat on her cheeks was consumed by hunger, and her skin was between white and yellow. Outlining a long straight nose bridge and an elegant jawline, she is poor but strives to maintain her last decency. The restless fragrance covers the moisture of the kimono that is not exposed to the sun all year round.

She whispered: "Some parents will sell good-looking girls to Yoshiwara, and some people run away from home by themselves, don't want to live here, and try to go out to make a way."

"There are still some people, they may have become nuns."

/ Whenever I pull open a can of sardines and see them crowded together with their eyes wide open, I think of Tokyo. You see, here is the key point of the country, the heart of industry, and the progressive kingdom of steel.The soaring chimneys of the ironworks clear the gray smoke 24 hours a day, and the smoke composed of coal particles less than one millimeter long and poisonous gas that damages the lungs weaves into endless clouds, covering most of the city

The continuous creaking and creaking sound of work came from the textile factory.Male workers, female workers, and child workers poured in from the southeast and northwest corners of Japan like a tide, pouring into the metropolis and into the factories made of gray and white bricks.

We built enough thousands of factories, but there were never enough of them, unemployed men and women wandered outside the factories all day long, so someone said, let's go to Kansai, I heard there is going to be a shipbuilding factory.

How did they know that every modern city in this country has the same fate as Tokyo?

——"Human affairs. Records of female workers in Hexia"/