Mr. Cheng Jingqiao · Thinking of the King at Twelve Hours

————————————————————

————————————————————

[Mr. Cheng personally,

See words like meeting.

I asked them to send this letter to you, but it would be better not to send it.

When you read this letter, please, please don't shed tears for me.I can't see you cry.I am afraid that there are too many things to tell you in time, so I wrote it down first.The soldiers here have this tradition - to put a suicide note on their chest, so that they will leave something to say when they die.If you are lucky, you will be picked up by the allied army collecting the corpse, and you will definitely send it out.

Although I am not a soldier, I still have something to say.Leave it to you, many, many.

When I see you again, I want to tell you personally. ]

The returning hero was surrounded by everyone to meet the wind. Father Liang told his son to rest for a few hours before going to the banquet, and only pushed Liang Yiwen to get him into the car.Liang Yiwen was surrounded by too many people and too many problems. Just now, he only hugged Cheng Jingqiao for a short while, but the other teachers laughed and said, "I'm still acting like a baby with Teacher Cheng when I'm so old", and they all came up and dragged him away. Hug and shake hands with him.

When he finally escaped, he couldn't find Cheng Jingqiao.

[…

I don't just keep the suicide note on me. Two days ago, I happened to see a person who was seriously injured. His letter was so stained that I couldn't read a single word.At that time, I was saving him, but I still had something I wanted to write. I am going to write a copy now, and copy another copy and put it in the suitcase.In this way, if one copy is destroyed, the other copy remains.The only bad thing is that I have been too busy and tired recently, so copying letters has become redundant homework.But when I wanted to write it to you, I dared not to transcribe it, for fear that you might not see it.But I'm also afraid that if you see it, if you see it, then I will die.

Don't be sad, I am happy whether I live or die. ]

Cheng Jingqiao felt satisfied from the bottom of his heart when he saw Liang Yiwen.People surrounded Liang Yiwen, chattering and asking questions.The train station was crowded and noisy. Everyone put Liang Yiwen in the middle and rushed out. Liang's father was very happy, fearing that the noise around him would cover his voice, Liang's father loudly expressed his joy to Cheng Jingqiao, "You don't want to leave in a while. Go back, go directly with us, and attend Yi Wen's banquet at night! I asked the daughter of the diplomat's family to come, so they can meet tonight, it's great!"

Hearing this sentence, Cheng Jingqiao was stunned for a few seconds, thinking of the picture of Liang Yiwen hugging his younger brother just now, he felt dazed for a moment—he would have his own child one day.Liang Yiwen had to get married, start a family, and have several smart children.The daughter of the diplomat's family is good everywhere, at the right age, at the right appearance, and at the right background.

These "happenings", which waste a new life and a new future for Liang Yiwen, are blocked by his unbearable "inappropriateness".

"I'm not going," Cheng Jingqiao nodded slightly, his tone soft, "You know me too, I'm going to make a fool of myself at a first-rate banquet."

"You don't want to associate with ordinary people like us again!" Father Liang joked, and Cheng Jingqiao quickly waved his hands, "Don't make fun of me."

Liang's father finally understood him. After more than 20 years, he knew Cheng Jingqiao and didn't make things difficult for him. He sent a car to take Cheng Jingqiao back.

[…

Today has been No.30 for four days, and the suicide note is too short, so I transcribed it into a notebook.I want to tell you all kinds of nonsense like this, even though I'm afraid you won't like to read it, I can't help but write it.

Now I want to write, I miss you, I have to run back immediately and touch this book.During the day, an American reporter accidentally stepped on a landmine and stood there for a long time without moving. I was going to rescue him. He dared not speak loudly, but mouthed "stepback".I know that he is afraid of hurting me. When a person is about to die, he does not seek to survive but cares about the lives of others. This is really the biggest difference between human beings and other species.But some people can kill innocent people indiscriminately. There are such American journalists, but there are also such rebels. As the same creature, I am very puzzled.I'm not an expert, so I can only ask someone to save him.But I hadn’t run far when the thunder exploded, and when I heard a bang, I looked back and saw that there was no one there.I couldn't save him, and suddenly thought of you again.I was wondering if I could die so simply. Before that, I always thought I could, but now I think I can't.

I still want to grow old with you.

I am ashamed to say that I stole your handkerchief, so don't blame me.It's just a gadget, I'll buy hundreds of them to compensate you when I go back.This veil is stuck to the inner pocket of my chest, with the mahogany smell of your home, I dare not call you, it's only been thirty days, and I can't hold it anymore.Just thinking about you makes me run away from here.

Are fleeing war correspondents considered deserters?Running for you is another matter.

Occasionally dreaming of you at night, but waking up in the middle of the flames of war, I really want to die, only 34 days. ]

Cheng Jingqiao returned home, and he was the only one living there, still so deserted.He didn't turn on the light in the living room, walked directly to the bedroom slowly, turned on the bedside lamp, and slowly sat on the edge of the bed.

These mistakes must be corrected after all.

He lowered his head, the dim desk lamp cast his shadow on the ground, the wind outside the window gently shook the curtains, and the stars had climbed into the sky.This is a day to celebrate Liang Yiwen, he is back, this is a good day.Over the past year, 410 days, no matter how stupid things are, they should figure it out.He used to love Fang Xiaofu, but that love was too far away. He only remembered that he loved her, but he didn't remember how to love her. But when he thought of that lonely grave, there was a fine tension in his heart. , Like a thin needle stuck in the heart.But that love is not as good as it is now. From marriage to divorce, he and Jing Wan didn't seem to understand the meaning of love, but at the moment, with a young boy, their throats trembled and their breath was suffocated, like a stick in their throats.

But in the end, I just dared to sit here quietly.Like hiding in a little refuge.

He is not fleeing, but he does not want to be that stumbling and ugly stone.

How should I explain it to Father Liang?Even if it is quietly placed underground, there will always be people who will become suspicious after a long time.Liang Yiwu's eight achievements have already been discovered.I have reached this age, and I am ashamed to do such a thing.Liang Yiwen is still young, young, and has a reputation, so I shouldn't lead him astray.

What's more, the child has never contacted him this year.If you have him in your heart, it will definitely not be like this.

This time, Cheng Jingqiao actually hoped that Liang Yiwen had forgotten him, because he didn't love him anymore—couldn't love him.In order for Liang Yiwen to marry the diplomat's daughter, and for Liang Yiwen to maintain that respected position in the noisy society, Cheng Jingqiao sat here and decided not to take a step forward with that person.

He better not love me anymore.Cheng Jingqiao thought, since he never contacted me, it should be because he no longer loves me.

……That's good.That couldn't be better.

[…

I dare not call you, if I hear you say that I want to go back, I will run back from here in a second!I can still remember you telling me when you were leaving that you wanted me to stay.Back then, I was still pretending to be mature, thinking that I was going to fight for a big event for my family and country, and a little love like you should be kept in my chest, and I should be ranked behind the big event with me.But right now, what I keep in my heart is getting hotter and hotter, and national affairs often become my burden.

People die here every day. I rode with the government armed forces, and I also encountered the case that the driver was killed by the enemy.National affairs bind my life, but fortunately my mind binds you, otherwise I might be like the Australian photographer who was sent away a few days ago, because I saw a few villagers with their throats cut and went crazy.

I shouldn't have written these horrors to you.

I'm fine, I just miss you, and I'm afraid of your response.You know me, if thoughts come up, I can't suppress them myself.So I dare not think.I want myself not to think of you, not to hear your voice, not to look at your handkerchief.But the handkerchief was stuck to my chest, and I really thought about it, so I took it out to have a look.

I don't want you, I can still live.

When I miss you, I can't stay here for a second, I'm afraid I'm dead. ]

Cheng Jingqiao poured himself a glass of water, and finally lit a cigarette.He has already made a decision, just treat Liang Yiwen like his father.The job of teaching in the university is also boring. The house in his hometown is still there in the early years. He has accumulated savings over the years, and the books he has published in the past 20 years have also received a fixed income one after another. He does not need to teach anymore. For any position of consultant, professor, or leader, you can just step down.The house in my hometown is not big, but it also has a yard.His eldest sister lived there before she died, and she was reluctant to sell the house and left it to the children.But the location is remote, and the children are unwilling to go.So he left it to him, and before the divorce, he took Jing Wan and the child there to escape the summer heat.

Just move over.Moved away, far away, many things should be able to avoid.

He looked at his watch, but it was only after seven o'clock at night.The party over there has already begun.

forget it.Putting the cigarette butt in the ashtray, thinking that after tonight, Liang Yiwen might fall in love with that beautiful diplomat daughter.He should go to get married, and he can go back to the room in his hometown with peace of mind.

[…

It has been more than 100 days, and the situation here has not improved at all, but worsened.There is a lack of water and food everywhere.Both sides have no patience, it doesn't matter whether we are reporters or medical soldiers, we fight whenever we see it, there is no morality at all.Especially the medical soldiers, because there is a Red Cross logo on their helmets, and the enemy jokes that it is a 'target', and they can pass through the temples by hitting the midpoint of the cross.There is no humanity at all, and international morality is completely lost.But the reality is like this, one of my two photographers has already been unbearable, and one will go back. After a while, another one will be sent. I heard that he is only 23 years old. I am afraid that he is not as ambitious and interested as I was at the beginning. Came vigorously.I can't sleep all night and night now, and I don't dare to drink to help sleep.The strange thing is that we often have no water, but we can always get wine.Maybe not many people dared to drink during the war, so they were all left.

I take a sip at night and pray before bed that I don't get blown to death in my sleep.

But occasionally, occasionally thinking of you at night, the handkerchief no longer has your smell, but it is as soft as you.Occasionally I think of you, the starry sky at night flickers, you and I are in the same cosmic starry sky, even if my night is your day, I can be comforted when I think that this night is the night you saw last night.I feel happy when I think that I breathe with you in the corner of the world, and one in a billion, one in a billion, of your breath flows to me.

I'm stupid, I'm waiting for the time to see you again, I'm waiting for you.Pray that you are waiting for me too. ]

Cheng Jingqiao thought, forget it, forget it like this.From now on, I will be the villain in the eyes of that child and keep him away from myself, so that I can push him to the broad road.

[…

It is a great fortune to be able to be dedicated to one person in this life.

I always thought that the battle would be over in another month, but the month-to-month delays were not over. The new photographer always cried at night, saying that he wanted to go back.I gave him all my money and told him to call home, I'm used to it.Walking on the ruins made me more stable than before. Every soldier we photographed didn't know where he went, but everything that happened would never disappear.

Memories are always more indelible than reality. Over 200 days, I realized one thing.A person's life is short and empty. Doing many things is not as profound as sticking to one thing.I can't learn anything else, only persistence is the only advantage.In order to stay here, I force myself not to miss you.Similarly, in order to love you, I can force myself to resist all difficulties.What are the four words "overcoming all difficulties" used to describe?To me, you too are a revolution.It is the city that I have not conquered since I was 15 years old.

But I'm not afraid either.Today I drank some wine and wrote a eulogy for one of my brothers.Although he was a new brother, he had the most genuine and deepest friendship for more than two hundred days. He, a fool, actually shot through his own thigh in his own trench.When we dragged him out of the trench, he kept crying and said he didn't want to die.

I'm calm now, and I'm writing you this paragraph—

How absurd a person's life is, ignorant, ridiculous, and overwhelming, but it's so hard to face.A strong soldier did not die from the enemy's bullets, but died from his own gun misfire.What is the meaning of life in the end?What is the point of living?Even if you restrain yourself for the sake of decent principles, you may eventually die for a ridiculous reason.

So I suddenly wanted to understand one thing, no matter how I live in this life, nothing will be left in the end.How others see me, how they say about me, whether this life is right or wrong, are just useless extraneous things. Whatever I think and do, in the end, it’s all just welcoming a ridiculous death.What could be worse?There is no worse ending.Thinking of you at this time, I have secretly chosen you to hide in my heart in this absurd and ignorant life, what else can I ask for.

In this life, in this life, only the deep love for you has added color to my barren life. ]

Cheng Jingqiao fell asleep without turning off the lights.His head hurts a bit, and when he was old, he would sleep swayingly. He heard the window rattling while he was half asleep. When he woke up a little, he heard another crisp sound hitting the window.He hurriedly put on his glasses, looked close to the window, and saw a figure on the ground. Seeing him, he immediately raised his hand to greet him. Cheng Jingqiao couldn't see clearly, but he heard the person downstairs shouting "Mr. Cheng!" and immediately realized Seeing that it was Liang Yiwen, I was startled, but my body was faster than my brain, so I quickly took a step back and turned off the desk lamp.

Why is he here!

Cheng Jingqiao glanced at the watch on the table under the moonlight. After nine o'clock at night, the banquet is over?No way, this kind of gathering at night usually doesn't come until nine o'clock when it's time to sit down and talk about things, but why would the host of this banquet be downstairs in his house, throwing stones at his glass like a child? ?Thinking of this, Cheng Jingqiao sneaked over to take a look, but saw that there was no one downstairs.It's even weirder now, could it be that he had hallucinations just now? ...Could it be...I'm dreaming about him...?Cheng Jingqiao opened the window, looked out for a while, and suddenly heard a knock on the outer door of the living room behind him.

"Mr. Cheng!" The child outside the door called him, "Cheng—Cheng Jingqiao!"

Not a hallucination.

Cheng Jingqiao heard a call from the door, and hurried to the door, but after walking a few steps, he stopped again.

After thinking about it, I can't be entangled with him anymore. At this time, he was supposed to be at the banquet, having sex with the diplomat's daughter, so what is he going to do here!Did he run away from his welcome banquet?

The person at the door became more impatient, knocking harder and faster, "Cheng Jingqiao!"

But he doesn't even have an honorific title, so I just call him Cheng Jingqiao!

"Mr. Liang?" Suddenly there was another voice at the door. It should be that Professor Xia next door heard the continuous disturbing voice and had to go out to have a look.

"Oh, Teacher Xia... I'm really sorry, I'm here to find..."

Cheng Jingqiao had no choice but to get closer, and heard two people talking at the door.

"Mr. Cheng is at home, he may have fallen asleep, he greeted you downstairs a few hours ago, I heard he picked you up today?"

"Yes, it's just that Professor Cheng picked me up and left. My father wants to pick up Mr. Cheng for supper..."

Nonsense!

Suddenly there was another knock on the door, this time it was Mr. Xia's voice from next door, "Jing Qiao, Jing Qiao? Hey, did you call?"

Cheng Jingqiao couldn't take it anymore, this Xia Xiaoshan kept meddling in his own business.He immediately opened the door amidst Xia Xiaoshan's idle and slow knocking and nagging.

The two outside the door were stunned for a moment, then Xia Xiaoshan, who was still in his pajamas, laughed, said goodbye and went back.

Cheng Jingqiao raised his eyes to look at Liang Yiwen, the child pursed his lips with an aggrieved expression on his face.He got into the door by himself, closed the door, stood opposite Cheng Jing Bridge, and asked, "Why did you turn off the lights when you saw me?"

Then I asked myself for a long time, "If you don't come to the dinner party, I will come to you. I saw that the light in your room was on, but you didn't answer me when I knocked on the door. I thought you were asleep, so I knocked on the window. You clearly saw me, but you even turned off the lights. What's the matter, I'm back, but you don't want to see me anymore? Do you like someone else?"

Said a bunch of nonsense.

Cheng Jingqiao saw that Liang Yiwen was aggrieved by what he said. He hadn't seen him for a year, and he missed him very much.But looking at this man, he knew that there was a Miss Fangling waiting for him not far away, so he cut off his own vine like those who liked it.

"What are you doing here, shouldn't you be at the banquet?"

Mr. Cheng's tone was so alienated that Liang Yiwen's heart skipped several beats.But then Mr. Cheng opened the door. He was wearing that nice cardigan and stood by the door, "Go back, the banquet is not over yet."

Liang Yiwen couldn't accept that he seemed to be looking at him, and was speechless for a long time.

[…

Dear Mr. Cheng,

See words like meeting.

They all laughed at me and kept wearing a veil.Said that I was obsessed with liking a girl's handkerchief.The first half is true, the second half is false.They took away my notebook, I have no place to talk to you, so the nurse gave me a pen and paper.I don’t know if my family has told you now, but I hope they will tell you after I’m fully recovered. The bullet pierced my knee.

It doesn't hurt, I'm fine, I'm alive and well now.

The Americans asked me if I wanted to go back to the war zone or go home after I recovered from my injury. I don’t know which blind guy washed your handkerchief. Suddenly I almost didn’t even have the courage to breathe here. Don’t laugh at me. , I miss you very much and want to hear your voice, but after I entered the hospital, I only had one phone call with my father, and I never had a chance to communicate with him again.I asked the nurse if I could call home, but because of the government confidentiality agreement, until I returned to Shanghai and handed over all the information, I was determined not to contact anyone else.

Although I miss you in my heart, when I think that I will be able to go back and see you in a few weeks, I feel that everything is not so difficult.

You will probably ask about my legs, but I don't want to tell you too much.You just need to know that I am alive, and I will show you when I come back. The leg is still there, but the knee is broken, and walking is fine.Originally, the first shot was also going to hit me, but someone blocked the bullet for me, and the second shot hit me. I finally understood exactly that life is really absurd.One minute I was chatting with a pawn, the next minute he got shot and I lost my knee.I thought I was dead at the time, and the first thing I thought of was you, luckily it wasn't hit in the chest, my suicide note was stacked with your handkerchief, so it wouldn't be soaked in blood.

Later in the hospital, I thought every day, what would you think of me if I lost this leg?Will you stop liking me?But I remember you said that you would wait for me to come back, you are the most kind species in the whole world, you definitely won't dislike me because of one leg.

Until today they gave me a new knee.

You see, I will use this broken and repaired body, carrying the love that has not changed for 11 years, to walk towards you with my legs.

I can't wait for a moment, a second is too long, and a life is too short, but no matter what, I still want to go to you.

May you keep your word and wait for me. ]

--------------------------

[You definitely shouldn't be so cruel. ]

Liang Yiwen didn't understand what he did wrong again, the handkerchief was still in his pocket, folded into his bottomless heart, the suicide note was tightly pressed against this heart, hot and trembling.

"...What do you mean?" The voice was steadied as much as possible, and there was a sad tone at the end. The warm orange lights in the corridor reflected at their feet, casting a pair of separated shadows.Liang Yiwen's mind was rapidly guessing what might happen in the past year and a half, which one, which one would make Mr. Cheng face him so indifferently.

"Is the banquet over?" Cheng Jingqiao raised his head, his eyes were hidden behind the glasses made of twisted gold wire.

"No..." Liang Yiwen replied.

"Then what are you doing here?" Cheng Jingqiao's voice was tough.

Suddenly they became teachers who refused to break the wall and students who always needed to be disciplined, separated by generations, separated by names, ranks, prestige and many other rules.

It poured cold water on Liang Yiwen's blood and affection that came all the way.

"I'm here to find you...!" Repressing his impulse, he stretched out his hand and grabbed Cheng Jingqiao's arm. The light in the room was not turned on, only the corridor light outside the door illuminated half of his shadow.Cheng Jingqiao saw the child's eyes, and for a moment, it seemed that his eyes were filled with the rushing river in the dark night, with black waves before breaking out. Liang Yiwen only took half a step closer and pressed Cheng Jingqiao against the door, " ...I came to you and gave you my life, do you want it or not?!"

"...What are you talking about? I can't understand!" Cheng Jingqiao's voice was small, but his tone was strong.He met that look, breathing quickly, the boy clutched his left arm fiercely, as if trying to crush him.Cheng Jingqiao wanted to push him away in a panic, but he couldn't push him away at all. He could only put one hand between the two of them, but he saw Liang Yiwen leaning his head and leaning against him with a little pressure. The distance was too close, and he looked at him. His eyes were too cold, "Why don't you dare to look at me...?"

Liang Yiwen has changed, he is taller and stronger.He grabbed Cheng Jingqiao's hand and pressed it to his chest.And Cheng Jingqiao didn't dare to look at him at all, he made a decision that was too hurtful, but this year, this year is fine no matter what!The man is back.He didn't have to worry about it anymore, he didn't have to sit up and sweat about this man at night in a nightmare, he just wanted him to come back, like this, like this.For him, such a result is already good and satisfying.

Cheng Jingqiao had such an insignificant love that he didn't dare to give it to him. He only wanted him to come back, painless, safe and smooth.

Mr. is digging out his heart now, wanting to crush it, paving the way for Liang Yiwen's feet.

"I have nothing to dare to look at you." Cheng Jingqiao raised his eyes with a frown, mustered up the courage to meet those eyes, "...you came to me on your own, I have no obligation to entertain you!"

Liang Yiwen was obviously shocked by his words. He stared blankly at him for a moment, and fell into some kind of huge chaos the next second, "Of course I will come, you said you would wait for me... I know you Waiting for me so I'm desperate to come back!"

"You went by yourself, you went by yourself, why do you need to come back desperately?" Cheng Jingqiao interrupted him, and finally pushed Liang Yiwen away. He didn't dare to speak too loudly, and he didn't know how to deal with Liang Yiwen's eyes, so he stretched out his hand Pointing at the door, "Go!"

Mr. Cheng gave the order.

Fingertips are shaking.

Liang Yiwen really couldn't believe it this time, this is his Mr. Cheng!He wrote him an entire field diary, and wrote long letters, entrusting the little bit of love to this gentleman under the artillery fire.His whole heart, his whole heart, seems to be possessed, facing the ruins and wanderings, facing the dizzying infatuation, wandering from the ruins - just to return to him That's all!But now he blames it all because he wanted to go up without authorization? !

When he left, this man was not like this.He could still remember the kisses exchanged on the bed, how his slender fingers were entwined with lust, and how his eyes were full of illusory love.

When he was sick with longing, he could only write to him the raging love word by word, three letters, a suicide note, and a thick diary.Except for the suicide note, which he still kept on his chest, the rest were tied with a velvet belt, and they were sent out with thousands of reminders.

Mr. didn't reply him a word.

He doesn't care either!

Liang Yiwen seemed to be 16 again. He confessed his love to his husband for the first time, but was rejected and sent out.He couldn't cry over such a shitty thing, he didn't shed a single tear when he was shot.He definitely won't cry over this experience!But the tears still couldn't help but gather in the eyes.

Too bitter, this year, this decade, and this matter with you.With such a result, how could he bear it with a mere mortal body!If there is no expectation, maybe it is all right!But he already knows the taste of the golden wind and jade dew, how the tossing eyes are lost, and how the cold husband utters warm words of love.

He just wanted him to look forward to it, and now he is being promoted to the sky!

Fall again.

"You can't do this...you can't treat me like this..." Liang Yiwen murmured, thinking it was ridiculous, it was so ridiculous, and tried not to catch this sanctimonious hypocrite, who pretended to put his heart on him and was on him Cheng Jingqiao refused to accept the account after the sword went down the flames, Liang Yiwen wanted to seek justice, "... When I left, we did it...!" Cheng Jingqiao hurriedly rushed forward to cover his mouth, and even with Mr. Wen Ruan Liang Yiwen opened his eyes wide in shock, but met Cheng Jingqiao's anxious eyes, "Hush!" The man was afraid that he would say out—

The door is still open!

door.

...The door that will be known to the world!

Cheng Jingqiao hurriedly turned around to close the door, and Liang Yiwen hugged him from behind in the next second, Cheng Jingqiao was startled, struggling to resist him in a low voice, "... let go! You don't go back to the banquet, that's it...!"

"What?!" Liang Yiwen spoke again, crying, but his strength was terrible, "Before you left, you said you would wait for me, and that you would love me if I came back! Teacher Cheng! You are acting like a human being, and you are so contradictory! !" The child suddenly looked like a soldier, kneading the person in his arms, and buried Cheng Jingqiao's neck, inhaling forcefully, "...you smell exactly like a handkerchief..."

what?

Cheng Jingqiao didn't understand, and couldn't think about it.The boy touched him with the palm of his hand, his lips and tongue pressed against the side of his face, and tears rubbed against the ends of his hair.

"Let me go!" Cheng Jingqiao was pushed against the door, panting and refusing, but his heart was cut like a knife by the longing and tears.

"I won't let it go!" I was supposed to come back to show him my growth this year, but I had no choice but to turn out my old, ignorant and childish appearance again, which is too different from what I imagined, "... ...What did you say when I left? You said that as long as I come back, you will 'love' me! Now that I'm back, you don't admit it! Cheng Jingqiao, Cheng Jingqiao! You can't do this to me!"

While struggling, he grabbed Cheng Jingqiao's lips, and bit the tip of his tongue that was dripping with juice, like a general who won the championship, wanting to seize the invincibility of the first-class others.

He misses him so much, day and night, the hotter his heart is, the harder it is to grasp.

Panting heavily, Liang Yiwen stretched Cheng Jingqiao's cardigan rudely and blindly with his fingers. He bit the shoulder and neck of the person in his arms indiscriminately, like a wolf that had been hungry for a long time, hugging Cheng Jingqiao and pressing it into his arms, as if he didn't know what to do. Slowly, Cheng Jingqiao couldn't support himself, his throat was so choked that it was almost impossible to make a sentence, his heart was filled with grief and remorse out of control, and guilt and remorse.

But he is too sober, what can this small house hide, can Xia Xiaoshan next door hear it?They are the best at guessing.The girl at the party!The diplomat's family, the well-connected, sweet and lovely daughter, is still waiting to join the second son of the Liang family who is born in a wealthy family.

He is nothing more than a 45-year-old, decayed soul. What's the point of being fiddled with here, trembling, and accepting this love affair that ends without a disease? !Totally pointless!

No, no, no, no.

You can't bury Liang Yiwen in your own solitary grave.

"You're just hotheaded!" Cheng Jingqiao pressed Liang Yiwen hard, not allowing his fingers to enter him any more, "You're just willful, boring, and reckless! You're just hotheaded..."

This groundless accusation!

"... To you, ten years is nothing more than my hot head?" Liang Yiwen's eyes were red, and he was furious between longing, sorrow, cruelty, pain and madness, and suddenly he didn't want to worry about anything, "...Then Take advantage of my hot head and forget everything!"

He bumped into him to tear the kiss away, and wiped his tears on his husband's blue shirt, longing for a little soul-to-heart connection to make him feel less uncomfortable.

"But why do you torture me?" Cheng Jingqiao gasped, his voice trembling in a mess, "I don't like you, I will never like you! I don't care about where your love has gone this year. You’re going crazy on your own, why should you risk my reputation?” Cheng Jingqiao couldn’t hold back his trembling, his waist was trembling in Liang Yiwen’s hands, and he uttered dark and deceitful words, “…you’ve been away for a year. I had the best year, you came back and tortured me again, how can I avoid you?! Why should I like a boy who is nearly 20 years younger than me?! I am If you like a 40-year-old aunt, you will definitely not like you, Liang Yiwen!"

[I long for you to just pass my best age, don't hide from my hot eyes, and allow me to love you gently. ]

[You are the most kind-hearted species in the whole world, you will definitely not be so, you will not be so ruthless. ]

The darkness and silence strangled Liang Yiwen's throat at this moment, making it suffocating.

Ten years have passed and the stars have changed, and the person who is held at the top of his heart thinks that he has not repented for ten years.The warm flesh was still attached to his bosom, but his palm was as cold as death.

This second is dying.

The folded suicide note on the chest was ruthlessly gouged out together with the heart.

————————————————————————————

Cheng Jingqiao handed in his resignation.The principal personally came to persuade him to stay, but Cheng Jingqiao repeatedly refused.He only called the doctoral students under his command, explained his project, and stayed at home alone, packing up his belongings.

He is leaving.The weather has not completely turned cold, so leave early, the house in my hometown is easy to clean, but in winter, I can't afford to clean it up.

And Liang Yiwen has no news.

He still remembered the look in the child's eyes that day, as if it had collapsed in the confrontation, and his expression could not be seen clearly in the dim light.The darkness is tactile, chilling and trembling.The sound of panting in the cold air, like a ghost fearing the gods in the middle of the night, clinging to the unavoidable questioning, like a villain with a guilty conscience and many evils, he didn't even have the courage to accept Liang Yiwen's look.But after being silent for a while, Liang Yiwen laughed, hummed and lowered his voice, and laughed out loud, with tears in his face, laughing so hard that he choked himself, Cheng Jingqiao looked at him, the child shook his head, wiped away the tears with his palm, laughed But intermittently, messy and crazy.Cheng Jingqiao was startled, his guilt pushed his conscience, and his teeth chattered.

"What are you laughing at?" Cheng Jingqiao asked tremblingly.

Liang Yiwen put away the smile for a moment, the moonlight from the side window divided his face, one eye reflected tears under the moonlight, but the other eye fell into darkness, like an eagle with its wings cut off, like an eye gouged out the beast.

"I laugh at you for being heartless."

26. It is not enough to make a trustworthy promise without making a statement. At the age of 26, he couldn't even give alms to the desire to take a look at that person's back.Liang Yiwen did understand that the bird named Thorn didn't live long enough, but envied a thorn that could kill him. Those birds who dared to sing for their beliefs were much nobler than him.

He didn't even have a chance to die.

The daily newspapers in Pingjin have new material in the past few days. I heard that the newly appointed Mr. Zheng and Master Liang of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs have climbed into the in-laws. The most favored youngest daughter of Mr. Such occasions.Xia Xiaoshan in the office was holding the newspaper, the front page was a photo of two beauties holding hands, Cheng Jingqiao was sorting out the last few books, Xia Xiaoshan spread out the newspaper, deliberately pressing the front page on Cheng Jingqiao's on the table.

Cheng Jingqiao raised his head and looked at him, "What are you doing?"

Xia Xiaoshan smiled, "Do you think this talented man and beautiful woman are more right than the mandarin ducks in those novels in the late Ming and early Qing Dynasties?"