cosine of desire

burden.He would walk to the wholesale vegetable market on the west side to buy vegetables and fruits for three days in order to reduce his clothes and diet, and borrowed piano scores from the girl next door who had given up on piano learning. The leisure methods he chose were nothing but daily entertainment such as practicing the piano, walking, and climbing mountains. .Different from others, Lin Yujing seemed to be driven by a kind of magic power when he was practicing the piano, urging him to use the invisible blade to cut each note on the piano score into pieces, and with his amazing coordination ability, he turned them into blossoming bells on the keys. bud.A piece of music that ordinary people have worked hard for a week can be played smoothly in Lin Yujing's soft and dexterous hands in only three days; the piano melody he comes into contact with every day walks in the mail room, bedroom, and even sleep under the imprint of memory Every corner of the world, it seems that their traces are everywhere.Since the piano was placed in the mail room four years ago, he simply placed a spare bed next to the desk for daily work. The bed was filled with daily necessities such as towels and shampoo, in case he lost his interest in playing the piano in the middle of the night due to migraine and insomnia. There is nothing to do, but he promises to go home and sleep when he is on holiday or when he is on vacation. "You are driving yourself crazy like this," Lin Xiaohan opened his eyes that evening and saw his son moving the camp bed that was nearly three times his body out of the door, but he couldn't stop him, "You really did a good deed! Last time you were hurt by a stone, it was enough for me, who knows what you are up to this time." Lin Yujing staggered on the porch with his head tilted and ignored him. The room played all night.

Since then, out of his unprecedented enthusiasm for playing the piano, he galloped like a wild horse in the sun, moon and stars, frantically using all the time except work to practice the piano.At first, he fumbled and practiced the score given by Shao Qin by himself, and then borrowed a few piano tutorials from the girl next door, copied them in the printing room at a price of three cents, and returned them.Feeling the limited resources of music scores, he went to the neighbor's daughter's house to borrow the last few pieces of Liszt's works.Due to the strict requirements on piano skills, speed and loudness, the few yellowed scores exude a faint book fragrance under the cover of dust. "My mother brought this back from outside," the girl explained, "No one can play it well, not even my previous piano teacher." Lin Yujing ignored the girl's warning and hurriedly rolled up the fragile sheet music. After getting up, he walked away with his pockets in his pocket, but after a long test of time, he realized that the girl's statement was true.Three months later, on a Saturday morning, the old man who received the magazine every week knocked on the glass door of the mailroom, only to see the young man's black hair stuck in the black and white keys like weeds, his fingers trembling and making a slight sound, as if In the abyss of bones, he is engaged in an endless mediation with emptiness.The old man noticed that something was wrong: she had repeatedly witnessed the younger generation suffer from cerebral infarction due to overwork and frequent staying up late.With all her strength, she resolutely opened the closed glass door, only to hear the crisp sound of rubber and plastic being separated from each other. Lin Yujing's haggard bloodshot eyes pierced through the shadows in the room, staring straight at the visitor.

"You got the newspaper, right?" His throat was swollen and his voice was hoarse.

"My God," the old man shook his head, "what are you doing here?"

So Lin Yujing regained his enthusiasm for life, and told the old man in detail that he had been obsessed with practicing Liszt's works in the past three months, so that he turned upside down day and night, and felt unprecedentedly shocked by the grand conception and brilliant movement of the piano score And motivation, because before that he only had a vague impression of the Hungarian composer rather than a touch of the soul of music.Last night he completed the practice of the last few bars of the music score, and then he played the music score dozens of times. Even the residents on the east side of the viewing lake who had fallen asleep could vaguely feel the distant roar.At the end of the performance that night, he clenched the old paper as thin as a cicada's wing tightly as if in heat, roared and screamed in the sealed box with no one else, and the long-lost tears rolled down his cheeks with excitement and tremors.That night was what he called "the night of miracles."

But to his disappointment, the old man did not show any emotional fluctuations to his statement, and even felt that his behavior was quite childish and ridiculous. "Okay," she responded, "but you'd better take care of yourself."

She took the magazines from her desk and wandered away, as if to indicate that in her troubled life she had encountered many vindictive young men who died young due to lack of care for their bodies.Although Lin Yujing felt dizzy due to lack of sleep, his thoughts were not disturbed by the discomfort left over from staying up late.He knew that he had completed the task of practicing piano for the past three months last night, so he poured a cup of herbal tea and meditated on the old man's words, because from the two sides' acquaintance, the words she said were so concise that every sentence felt like a needle. As deeply pierced his guilty heart.That night, in order to stop the long late-night practice, he pulled off the dark green curtain and covered it on the piano, so as to avoid the temptation to get up and practice because of the moonlight reflected on the smooth piano cover in the middle of the night.He knows that he has an amazing musical talent, but after a long thought, he realizes that practicing piano for the seemingly abundant night overdrawn body is not worth it.So in the following days, until the end of his life, he never stayed up late because of his obsession with practicing the piano.He squeezes all activities into the daytime, and alternates work, fitness and piano practice, repeating the cycle like day and night.

Chapter 3

In September [-], Zhang Lingyan borrowed an audio CD from Yu Xian.On the front of the disc is a delicate watercolor painting: a European-style tower, an ornamental lake under the tower, and a golden sandy beach.The familiar scene reminded Yu Xian of the golden time when he returned to Hunan when he was a child: his grandfather Yu Rong once settled in Huangtuling, Changsha, and then moved to Linhua Apartment in Pingding District, Hunan after many twists and turns.To the west, Linhua Apartment is gradually approaching the bustling city center, and to the east, you can overlook the top floor of the wavy building of the Cultural Exchange Center; the top floor of the radio and television station next to it leads directly to the sky, so tall and magnificent that you can relax on the lawn of the apartment The inhabitants of the city don't have to look to see it.During the prevalence of respiratory infectious diseases, Yu Xian’s family once moved to live in Yu Rong’s home—this way of frequently changing the place of residence is puzzling, because for ordinary people, holding sufficient reserves and confining themselves in a sealed space is a virus. The best way in times of raging; but just as sometimes unexpected people can do things that no one can match, some rational people will make judgments beyond the scope of ordinary people's understanding when the crisis comes.

During the time when he lived in Linhua's apartment, usually in the afternoon, Yang Guang would take Yu Xian to a villa area called "Xinyou Linyuan" to play, and his cousin Yang Jifang would join him from time to time.It was a remote and remote villa area. In order to get there, one had to climb a mountain with difficulty, stepping over pink bricks and stones, looking at the tall trees that could cover the blue sky and white clouds, smelling green leaves mixed with soft soil fragrance.After descending the mountain, a row of villas stand quietly on the side of the pool, and people who own these properties wear sports shoes to jog or take a walk around the pool.If Yu Xian and Yang Jifang were together, they would go to the canteen to buy fish food, and then hopefully throw the red and green powder into the ornamental lake.In an instant, the fish stared at the bulb-like bulging eyes and spit bubbles one by one, scrambling to swim to the surface of the water where the food was floating.On the west side of the pool is a European-style "dream-seeking building". The cleaners who appear in the building at any time made the two of them try to enter the top of the tower several times but failed.This guy does the cleaning work to cover up his own mouth, but he doesn't know that she has covered up other people's eyes, Yang Jifang thought.With a taciturn cosine, he glared at the middle-aged woman in a beige work uniform, turned around and went down the tower.After silently accepting his hostility, the cleaner continued to use a broom to sweep the dusty floor until it was as bright as new. It seemed that the hidden treasures on the top floor of the tower needed the surrounding environment to be kept clean at all times.

Ten years later, at the end of August [-], Yu Xian revisited Xinyou Linyuan according to the route he and Yang Guang crossed the hill to Xunmenglou four years ago.It was the last day of the summer vacation, and he left the bus station alone in a bus. Dust covered the sky and drifted away where the roar disappeared.It was summer, and the management regulations of Xinyou Linyuan had not been strictly enforced, and outsiders could freely enter and exit the planned area without using a sensor key.Yu Xian's slender body nimbly passed through the rows of carefully pruned Euonymus lobata, and the fragrance of green leaves lingered in the green bushes by the pool for a long time.Yu Xian walked along the lake, and the goldfish he had fed with Yang Jifang disappeared without a trace, and the tall and upright Xunmeng Tower stood still on the shore of the lake.He shuttled to the residential area, and accidentally knocked open the glass door of the convenience store next to the property management company in the process of swiftly shuttling, and a scent of gardenia mixed with coffee smelled in the middle of the aisles of the shelves, rushing towards Yu Xian's face.He wanted to apologize for the reckless move, but then covered his embarrassment by randomly picking items from the shelves.The manager Chen Yuxin, who was hiding behind the cash register, recognized him, because there are few outsiders in the convenience store inside the Xinyou Linyuan residential area.He recognized that this young man who could speak fluent Changsha dialect was not the child of the wealthy residents he encountered while walking along the pool on weekdays, but a tourist who spent the whole afternoon wandering around many years ago. "Xiaozi, I know you." The manager with a deep voice put on his glasses when Yu Xian checked out, and his brown pupils looked directly at Yu Xian's puzzled expression through the slightly scratched lenses, and then told Yu Xian about his childhood Arrived when Yang Guang and Yang Jifang visited Xinyou Forest Garden