Give a bellflower to the drowning ghost

157

A letter sent by Wang Ze to the writer, written on a piece of letter paper with the school badge printed on it.

This was probably the last letter written on high school stationery.

I graduated today, and I lined up with my friend for a photo at the school gate, and I looked at the back of his head thinking wildly.Since he was hired by my mother, I dare not say many things to him anymore.But I chewed on your words over and over again, and finally worked up the courage to talk to him again.I really don't want to graduate like this, I always feel that I will regret it later.

Finally we went to the dining hall together.

The canteen is distributing fried chicken nuggets for free today. The fried chicken nuggets are especially like Chicken McNuggets, which are made of flour, but fried foods are better for delivery, and they have always been popular.My friend and I each have a bag, sitting on both sides of the table in the dining hall.

I apologized to him in gibberish, because I was too nervous to remember what I said.

My friend seemed to accept my apology. He said that he had no money to go to college, and he could hardly even pay his high school tuition (his father gambled away all the family savings), so my mother gave him an advance With a few months of salary, he saw a glimmer of life.

"Otherwise I might have been beaten to death." His tone was calm, and I don't think he was exaggerating.

We talked a lot in bits and pieces, and he said that he was already receiving boxing training, and he felt very painful at first, but when he was able to fight back a little, he felt a sense of pleasure that frightened him.

His original words seem to be like this: "When you can beat someone justifiably, you will feel very happy, and then you will feel disgusting, because you think that you may follow my father in this regard."

I somewhat understand what he said. Whenever I imagine myself dating a certain girl, I will think of the photos of my father cheating, and then feel sick.

I always thought he was very mature because he also hated his family of origin, but he was very open-minded and inspired me a lot.

He advised me to minimize contact with my parents after college.Because the blood relationship cannot be cut off, once they live together, they can only torture each other.I don't think I have the ability to fight with my parents, so in order to protect myself, I guess I will continue to choose dormitory life in college.

But my friend is already better than his father.

I envy him so much for that.

158

Bodyguard Chen left.

Hong Ge was very disturbed by Chen's bodyguard's attitude that he was sure that the forest ranger would go back alive.He carefully inspected the cable ties that bound the ranger's hands and feet, and the ranger cooperated quietly and obediently.After checking the ranger and Wang Ze, Brother Hong found a medical bag and bandaged the two drug addicts.

The ranger groped for the shards of glass that had been hidden under his body with his fingertips, and while Brother Hong was not paying attention, he patiently broke off the tie.

What to do after that.

The ranger couldn't help but think of Bodyguard Chen.

159

The ranger quietly looked down at Brother Hong's shadow.He was anxious, checking his watch repeatedly, looking after his two comatose companions, pacing back and forth in the warehouse, the dagger in his hand shining brightly with his steps.

It seems to be waiting for the time to kill and silence, or courage.As a result, the bodyguard Chen, who seemed to be the most gentle among the kidnappers, was the one with blood on his hands.

The ranger moved his shoulders.Seeing him, Brother Hong grabbed a handful of cable ties and approached, bent down, trying to tie them firmly again to avoid anxiety.

At this moment, the ranger jumped up.

His feet are still bound, and he can only rely on the strength of his upper body.He put his hands around Brother Hong's neck, turned over and pressed him under him with his body weight.

As Brother Hong exclaimed with swear words, his dagger was thrown flying.

The ranger raised his elbow and recklessly hit Brother Hong hard on the head with his fist.

With the first punch, Brother Hong's scolding stopped for a moment. The ranger felt that his abdomen was being attacked, but he didn't dare to flinch at all.

With the second punch, Brother Hong kept fumbling for his pocket with the other hand, and the ranger grabbed his hand.

The third punch, because of Brother Hong's struggle, the ranger's fist landed heavily on the concrete floor, but the ranger felt no pain at all, he just raised his hand, took aim, and then punched again.

The fourth punch.

Fifth punch.

……

The fist hurts.

When the ranger came back to his senses, Brother Hong's face was bloody and bloody, and he didn't show any obvious resistance. However, the ranger still pulled his shoulder joint and dislocated it.

The ranger fell off Brother Hong and felt pain all over his body. He gritted his teeth and reached for Brother Hong's dagger, cut the tie on his leg, and after regaining his limbs, he lay on the ground in a large font , Panting like a cow.

He moved his fingertips and touched a candy that had been forgotten on the ground.

Didn't I kill anyone, thought the ranger.

I am probably not that far away from the dark borderline.

160

The ranger stood up reluctantly, although he felt that his legs were two soaked noodles.He said to himself: hold on, it's still far from fainting.

He rushed to Wang Ze's side and pulled Wang Ze up from the stool.

Wang Ze's face was covered with dry tears, and his whole body was sweating profusely. He seemed to be awake, but his eyes were not focused.In the dim light, Wang Ze looked like a puppet fished out of the water.

The forest ranger put the raincoat hanging in the corner on Wang Ze's body and fastened it tightly: "Wang Ze, we are about to start running away."

Wang Ze lowered his head, did not turn his face to the forest ranger, but his eyeballs moved, and he showed a strange smile towards the corner of the warehouse: "Okay."

Sounds like irony.

The ranger swallowed his anxiety, bent down to pick up a flashlight, and suddenly there was a gunshot from behind.

There was a scorched black mark where he had been standing.

Of the two drug addicts, the less injured one woke up, the gauze on his forehead was still bleeding, and the hand holding the gun was shaking, but he was more intimidating than anyone present.The ranger instinctively pulled Wang Ze up and ran away. Wang Ze staggered a bit, but managed to run on his own legs.

The gunfire rang out again, and the other party was trying to wake up the companion.

The ranger rushed into the wind and rain, remembering that the car keys were probably still in the warehouse, so he gave up the idea of ​​driving, turned around and grabbed Wang Ze and ran in the opposite direction.They can choose to stay where they are and be shot indiscriminately, or die in the stormy forest, which seems to have a chance of life.

The strong wind and the rain hit the two of them, but only Wang Ze was wearing a raincoat. The forest ranger felt that the wound was soaked in sulfuric acid.

But I can't stop, and if I stop, it really won't hurt anymore.

The Ranger gritted his teeth.

He no longer wanted to see the people around him die.

161

Mixed with his own panting, the ranger vaguely heard Wang Ze speak behind him:

"... Is there another one of us?"

The ranger realized that Wang Zedou was under the influence of hallucinogens.

And some people with self-destructive intentions will also commit suicide under the drive of hallucinogens.

162

Wang Ze vaguely understood that everything before was an illusion, but he couldn't be sure whether everything in front of him was real.

He felt that his body was very hot, as if the blood vessels in his body were full of boiling blood, and the rain had a cool breath, so he pulled down the hood of the raincoat irritably, but the forest ranger grabbed his hand.That was obviously just a very ordinary movement, but it actually made his knees go limp, and he felt that his whole body was under control.

The ranger pulled up his hood for him, put his hands on his shoulders to let him hide under the tree, and then the ranger himself took a flashlight to explore the way ahead.Wang Ze vaguely recalled that there was such a thunderstorm in the first days when they got along.The ranger said that the front was very dangerous and asked him to wait in place, and he hid a bundle of climbing ropes in his backpack, hoping that the ranger would encounter danger.

Wang Ze murmured, "I'm sorry..."

He groped forward.

In the dark forest, the rain beats almost parallel to the skin.The soil under his feet was poured into mud, making every movement of his feet extremely difficult.

Thick and heavy, just like his body.

Wang Ze fell to the ground.

Then he found someone standing beside him.

163

This man was not wearing a raincoat. In the damp darkness, Wang Ze could only see his bare and white toes.

His feet are so white that there is no mud on them.

The white man said to him: "Although you have no good intentions for him, he still saved you like a hero, but you are dragging him down, and you can't even walk well."

Wang Ze felt his eyes heat up, and suddenly realized that the ranger might abandon him and run away.

The gentle tone came from the branches and leaves, becoming ambiguous in the rain: "But he will not abandon you, because he is the first gift I gave you, a true hero."

Wang Ze's throat was itchy, and he choked up and crawled back, trying to get back to the tree where the ranger told him to wait, but he felt dizzy.

The writer said: "A hero will not give up on you, but he will be dragged down to death by you, because you are already a worthless person."

Wang Ze shook his head, no, this is an illusion, the writer would not use such rude words to hurt others.

"Why not, after all, you never cared about who I am."

It's just an illusion.

The writer whispered in his ear, "If you've never thought about this, then I wouldn't be here."

Rain noise, wind noise, forest noise, heartbeat noise.

And the noise of guilt.

"It's sad that I've been so good to you and you think so of me in your heart."

164

Wang Ze grabbed a tree root, trying to draw some strength from it.

"I'm the last straw that crushes you."

The writer sat down next to him, completely different from the embarrassed Wang Ze, he raised his head to enjoy the rain.He said: "You use me to escape human relationships, you use the ranger to escape my suicide, and finally you want to escape your own despair from your uncle, and you end up here."

He made a grand gesture: "This is where escapism ends."

Wang Ze was startled when the rainwater flooded his nostrils, he quickly raised his head and supported his body with his limp arms.

"I like the life in the forest very much. I don't need to work, I don't need to socialize with people, and I don't need to care about other people's eyes, because no one will find you. The secular world doesn't apply in the forest, so it's very easy, but that's already It's over."

Wang Ze found his knees, he supported the ground, trying to grasp the reality.

"After eliminating all the factors that make you suffer, but still feel the pain, then there is only one conclusion, that is, yourself, the root of the pain."

Wang Ze reached out and swung his arms like waving away mosquitoes, but he couldn't dispel those words.

"Trying to shift responsibility to the outside world is doomed to failure. You explain the reasons for your unhappiness to all kinds of people, and you want to qualify for a misfortune, so you are caught by the pain."

The writer put his hands together heartily: "Aha, then stop complaining about yourself, be a positive person, and look forward."

"Some people do it, but you can't."

"It's not that easy to make peace with the past, is it?"

"I can't do it either."

Wang Ze retched, feeling that his internal organs were twisted into a ball.

"I understand. You have been searching along my path, and you understand too. Since reconciliation is impossible, you can only continue to escape."

Wang Ze clenched his fist, and the dirt seeped into his nails.

"I'm waiting for you at the end of your escape."