hypocrite

一

The light rain has been going on for more than ten days. The cold and humid air encourages the growth of mold in the small room. The decaying smell of mold fermentation corrodes the air that is not very fresh due to poor ventilation.

It wasn't until the air was so dirty that it seemed as if one would suffocate if one breath was taken, that the man sitting on the edge of the bed with his back arched, his eyes blank and speechless woke up like a dream, and he stumbled up and opened the window.

The fine raindrops quickly entered through the opening of the window, wetting the pure white tiles on the window sill little by little, and some raindrops splashed high, soaking the corners of the young man's clothes not to be outdone.The man was tall and tall, but he looked a little stooped because of his curled up body.

Outside the window, the night is approaching and the lights are just coming on. The neon lights in the distance seem to smudge one after another on the frosted glass.The man's eyes wandered for a moment in the messy and narrow room, and his gaze stopped on the calendar hanging behind the door, the footer of which was slightly curled up due to moisture.

August 2010, 8.The Arabic numerals on the calendar, which cannot be ignored, are dazzling and bright red.

The man turned his head abruptly, took a deep breath during the period, and then squatted down suddenly. The man felt the corners of his mouth, hands, feet, and stomach all twitching. The face distorted by pain could hardly see the original clarity.The man could not restrain a hoarse growl from his throat, and a small amount of normal saline leaked out of his eye sockets in response.

The old-fashioned mobile phone on the table, the tear-off calendar behind the door, and the familiar furnishings in the limited space...everything around clearly stated an undeniable fact: he didn't die, he went back to seven years ago.And this fact made him despair, the time and space he was in seemed to laugh at the futility of his previous actions.

two

Lin Jinsheng looked haggard and muddled, his lackluster life experiences flashed through his mind.

Before the age of ten, his family was well-off, his parents cared for him, and he lived a carefree and enjoyable life.

In the middle of the summer vacation of the fifth grade of elementary school, he returned home dirty with a basketball in his arms, but what awaited him was not the usual, majestic reprimand from his father and gentle coquettishness from his mother, but a group of relatives who looked at him with pity.

A sudden disaster made him an orphan.

The driver who caused the accident fled on the spot and disappeared for many years; the insurance company shirked its responsibility, and the compensation was not paid; the relatives made their own decisions and sold the house as Lin Jinsheng's future support.

At the age of ten, Yaguya was orphaned, and was forced to start living with others.

At the age of 12, he learned to dance with long sleeves while getting along with relatives.

, was admitted tuition-free by top domestic universities with his impressive grades.

On the train to the capital, Lin Jinsheng looked at the green mountains and green waters along the way, and the raised corners of his mouth could not be calmed down for a long time.As a young man, he sincerely hopes that after this point, he can completely abandon the difficulties of the past, pursue a future as beautiful as Utopia without any scruples.Little did he know that in the not-too-distant future, greater misfortune was waiting for him, and fate showed its ferocious fangs in a hidden corner.

three

"Jinsheng, I am happy to have you in the last journey of my life." Lying on the hospital bed, the words Yu Sinian said to him, dying, still linger in his ears. Lin Jinsheng wanted to block it, but everything he did All the actions were in vain, Yu Sinian's every word was buried deep in Lin Jinsheng's heart along with his flowery smile.

Lin Jinsheng staggered towards the single bed in the corner of the bedroom, and knocked over a wooden chair during the process. He ignored the creaking sound of the wooden chair, and then lay down on his back on the not-so-soft bed.

Lin Jinsheng was physically and mentally exhausted, but he didn't dare to close his eyes and rest his mind, and falling asleep was even more vain.After Yu Sinian's death, once Lin Jinsheng closed his eyes, Yu Sinian's voice and smile appeared unexpectedly. Every night, Lin Jinsheng went back and forth between falling asleep, waking up with a start, and falling asleep again.Yu Sinian's death destroyed the former high-spirited young man into a lifeless man with no fighting spirit.

When his consciousness was not so clear, Lin Jinsheng vaguely recalled the scene when he met Yu Sichu.

It was just an ordinary weekend, an ordinary afternoon, and the only unusual thing was that Lin Jinsheng, who was usually busy with club organization work, had a rare half-day leisure in his life. He hasn't had a good look at his campus yet.As a matter of course, he started to visit the garden alone.

Passing through a small pool named Qingjing, Lin Jinsheng saw Yu Sinian lying on a stone table by the pool and taking a nap at a glance.November, the season of late autumn, the trees standing on both sides of the pool have already been dyed golden, and there is still sunshine at noon. Compared with the scorching sun in summer, the sunshine in autumn is much warmer. The warm light passes through the sparse tree shadows, pouring On the side of the boy's fair and pretty side face, the boy's exquisite eyebrows and eyes were slightly frowned, probably because he didn't sleep very comfortably.

Lin Jinsheng watched from afar, and couldn't take his eyes off by accident.

For many years, Lin Jinsheng seemed to be silent about the unexpected departure of his parents, but when he asked himself, the impact of his parents' death on him was not insignificant.

After the age of ten, Lin Jinsheng has always been a paranoid and loveless person.

four

Lin Jinsheng once again stood in front of the majestic antique gate of the institution of higher learning. He used to look forward to this very much, but now he has mixed feelings.

For a person who has gone astray, going back in time is impossible to ask for, but for him it is a detailed and long-term torture.In the past few days, he has been in a daze, and has decided countless times not to set foot in the capital again, and then he is confused, not knowing what choice he has other than studying.

At the last moment, he still couldn't make a chic and open-minded decision, so he had to take a chance and come back to this solemn and solemn city with a strong historical and cultural heritage, and because of its highly developed economy and bustling city.

Euphemistically declined the enthusiastic senior sister's willingness to help him, Lin Jinsheng dragged his cumbersome luggage with some difficulty, and walked alone on the tree-lined path leading to the student apartment.His face was haggard, his originally straight back seemed to be crushed by something heavy, and it remained slightly bent forever, unable to regain its straight posture, and his thin back showed a sense of depression.

The atmosphere around Lin Jinsheng is lonely and dusty, but it still can't cover up Lin Jinsheng's handsome appearance, and his haggardness adds a different charm to him.A few girls passing by looked at his face with what they thought were restrained eyes, and they were still excitedly commenting on him with their companions after walking a long way.Lin Jinsheng felt a little irritated because he suddenly remembered a sentence Yu Sinian once said:

"Jin Sheng, you are always dazzling, I like you very much."

In September, the capital has not yet entered autumn, and the temperature is still stubbornly high, unwilling to let summer pass easily.Lin Jinsheng finally arrived at the apartment building. Although he wasn't out of breath, he was still a little tired—the exhaustion mostly came from the exhaustion of traveling and traveling.Lin Jinsheng caught a glimpse of the laces of his sneakers unraveling, so he squatted down and took a rest while tidying up the laces.

At this time, there was a "beep" in my ear, which was the sharp and piercing notification sound of the access control system, indicating that someone had come out of the apartment building.

Lin Jinsheng raised his eyes, originally he just glanced casually, but happened to meet a pair of clear eyes.

Those were the pupils he was all too familiar with. Yu Sinian had told Lin Jinsheng countless times about his love. At that time, in his eyes, there was so much affection that almost overflowed his eye sockets, full of affection.

In the past, Lin Jinsheng would only feel happy, but this scene, with his eyes facing each other, is like pouring down a basin of ice water in the cold winter.

This is impossible...Lin Jinsheng stared blankly at Yu Sinian, and countless information related to Yu Sinian that he had engraved in his heart flashed through his mind.

Yu Sinian is quite literary and artistic, and he studied at the Chinese Department of Capital University, while Lin Jinsheng, who wanted to get ahead, applied for the popular finance major.The Chinese major and the finance major are not located in the same apartment area, and the teaching buildings are also distributed in opposite directions. They have always been clearly separated, and there is a reason why Yu Sinian did not appear in this area.

During the short time Lin Jinsheng was in a daze, Yu Sinian had already walked in front of him, probably because Lin Jinsheng's face was too ugly, Yu Sinian asked politely: "Do you need help? Classmate."

The voice is crisp and full of care.

Lin Jinsheng came back to his senses, his complexion was cloudy and uncertain, his burning gaze settled on the person in front of him, the surface was calm, but his heart was turbulent.

He wanted to ask Yu Sinian sternly: "Why did you come to provoke me when you knew you were short? into his arms, poured out to him the pain he had accumulated over the past few days, and appeased his body's longing for the person in front of him.

But in the end he just ran away.

五

The past life... It should be called the past life. Since Lin Jinsheng caught a glimpse that day, his mind has been restless, and he often goes to the Qingjing Lake to peep at the clean-looking boy unconsciously on weekends or in his spare time.

Sometimes it can be seen, and more often it returns without success.Seeing it, Lin Jinsheng watched quietly from a distance, filled with strange joy in his heart, and left in a hurry before the young man woke up; if he couldn't see it, Lin Jinsheng didn't feel lost, and savored his heart alone by the pool.

About a few months later, he came to the Qingjing Pool as usual, and as usual, he couldn't see the thin figure of the young man.

I thought it was another futile afternoon, but the moment I turned around to leave, I was suddenly stopped by a young man lurking in the verdant trees.

"Why do you keep peeking at me? Could it be that you are in love with me?" The boy's eyes were curved, and the corners of his mouth were slightly raised, speaking teasingly, with a cute and sly smile.

The sun was warm, the grass was smoky and the wind was warm, and the sparse tree shadows hit the young man's fair and round cheeks, vaguely.

Lin Jinsheng once again experienced the feeling of heartbeat.