i have always liked you

There is no teacher in the evening self-study, and Teacher Xiao only occasionally comes to count the number of people.

No matter which major you study, you have to rely on self-consciousness. Now there are more than 20 students in our class, and a few of them are not here. Half of them are playing mobile phones, listening to music, watching videos, playing games and chatting, and the other half are in the classroom. study.

I was still sitting in the last row, Li Songning was no longer my front desk, and Zhou Ting hardly came to study at night.

I was wearing earphones and listening to German listening. Our audio-visual teacher passed the audio file to the class group and asked us to hand in the dictation homework tomorrow morning.

After finishing this homework, the hour hand has already pointed to eight o'clock, and there is still an hour before the end of evening self-study. Some students in the class have left one after another, but there are only a few. I plan to wait a little longer, so I take it again. Take out the draft paper and turn over the words of the secretary.

But I was absent-minded, and none of the words that seemed to be easy to remember no matter how long they used to be were forgotten. When I stopped writing, I realized that I had written a large page of "Xu Ci".

I tore off this page a little annoyed, then tore it into several copies, got up and threw it into the trash can in the corner of the classroom.

I sat back on my seat again, sighed, lay down on the table with my eyes closed, tapped the table with my fingertips, once or twice, and the impact echoed in my chest.

Someone stood up, I opened my eyes, it was Li Songning and Zhang Xiaoai.

Li Songning asked: "Xiaoyu, why don't you go have some dinner with Xu Ci later?"

I took a nap for more than 20 minutes in the afternoon and was woken up for evening self-study. I am really hungry now, but I know I have no appetite.

I sat up and nodded: "Okay." Although I won't eat.

Zhang Xiaoai said: "Then let's go back to the dormitory first."

I nodded again and watched them leave the classroom.

There are not many people in the classroom now, and the windows are open. I sneezed and found myself a little stuffy.

After a while, I calmed down a bit, and my heart-stuck emotions almost dissipated a lot, so I turned on my phone and sent a message to Xu Ci.

Me: I'll go for a walk alone later

Me: you go back first

My tone seemed to be too indifferent, and there was a chat record of calling her Cibao when I scrolled up. Although I was really embarrassed to call her that way at first, I got used to it in the past two days.I just wanted to type Xu Ci, but I couldn't do it no matter what.

It took about five or six minutes before she replied.

Xu Ci: I just saw it

Xu Ci: Alone?

me: um

Xu Ci: good

Xu Ci: Then I'm busy

I smiled bitterly, and checked that there were still 10 minutes left for self-study. I put away my mobile phone, tidied up my desk, and left the classroom with my bag on my shoulders.

The sports field is not far from the classrooms, just go down the teaching building and walk to the right for a few minutes.

The weather at the end of March is still cool at night. Although the lights on the playground have been turned on, they are still not too bright and dim.

I looked at my shadow in a daze, and walked to the football field unconsciously.

There are people running on the surrounding track, and they are all chatting and walking on the grass. Most of them walk together, either as friends or couples, and rarely alone like me.

"Sneeze." I sneezed again, and I suspected I had a cold.

When I think of a cold, I have to think of a time when I had a cold before.

After my sister went to university, she went to other provinces, and I continued to study at home, probably in the first year of junior high school. For a while, my parents went on a business trip again and did not hire a nanny, because my family thought I could do everything.

I was caught in the rain one day, and I had a high fever when I got home. I found medicine and took it myself, but I was a little scared when I was alone. I called my parents. Before I could say anything, they said, "I don't have time. I'm very busy", and then told me to be obedient and study hard, then I hung up the phone.

So I called my sister again. I still cried a lot at that time, although my sister forbade me to cry since I was a child. I said that I was sick and uncomfortable, and I cried and cried non-stop. My sister They told me not to cry on the phone again, and said in a few words that I was very busy, and told me to take medicine and get a good night's sleep, and if it didn't work, I would go to the hospital, and then hung up the phone with a very impatient tone.

Since then, I never told them when I was sick, and I didn't say anything about going to the hospital with stomach problems in high school.

It was at those times that I finally realized that my birth was not expected by them.

Relatively speaking, I don’t have the kind of situation on the Internet that hurts the second child at home. My parents like my sister a lot, and they will give her various blessings on her birthday, and they will often call her when they go out. , I will only bring her a gift when I come back, and I will hold a teacher appreciation banquet for my sister after she passed the A university entrance examination.

I have nothing, no matter how good I do, I can't get a word of praise from them.

They didn't give me any abuse, they didn't beat me, they didn't scold me, they were even materially better than many other people.

Just let me get used to being alone, to be alone.

My sister said: Ke Xiaoyu, don't think about relying on anyone.

I said: good.

Thinking of this, I squatted down and hugged my knees, lowered my head, and tears flowed down again unknowingly. Sometimes I can't stop when I recall the past, and I know how lonely I am.

and after?

Later, the appearance of Lin Xi made me change. I no longer walk alone. I know that friends are also very important, so I also met a few other classmates in high school. After graduating from high school, Lin Xi told me , When I was in college, if someone wants to make friends with me, let me not refuse.

I said: good.

When the military training started in the freshman year, during the break, others were already sitting in groups, talking, laughing and fighting, and I was sitting there alone in a daze.

It's not that no one tried to chat with me, but I still couldn't do what I promised Lin Xi, and I didn't have any fluctuations. Gradually, I got used to this strange environment by myself.

Later, again, during the break, there was someone sitting next to me. I turned my head and saw a very beautiful girl. I had an impression of her. She was dressed like a little princess during the report.

She is wearing camouflage like me, and her hair is a little wet because of military training. It is a little different from the first time I saw her, but she is also beautiful and shiny. She holds the hat in her left hand and wiped her clothes with her right hand. She is a little nervous, but She tried her best to appear calm, and then she stretched out her hand and said, "That... classmate, my name is Xu Ci, can I get to know you?"

Her hand was stretched out there all the time, I thought about it, I nodded slightly, and held her back, just touched her, and then I let go.

But she didn't care, she was smiling there, a little shy, but very pretty, the smile on the corners of her brows and eyes seemed to be overflowing, and I couldn't help but bend the corners of my mouth.

Thinking of this, now I feel that my head is getting heavier and heavier, maybe I really have a cold, I wiped my face, and my hands were full of tears.

I just squatted in this position, took out a tissue from my bag, and wiped it on my face.

No one will come to ask me what happened, maybe it's just that I'm a broken-hearted person, and I don't need the care of these strangers.

The wind blew a strand of hair across my face and I tucked it behind my ear.

I sniffed, then stood up, my legs slightly numb.

It seemed to be a little colder, so I lifted my clothes up a little.

I'd better go back to the dormitory and get a good night's sleep, maybe the cold will be cured.

I walked back in a daze, and someone around me kept talking and laughing.

My thoughts couldn't help drifting again, yes, why am I relying on others now?Obviously did well before.

Lin Xi is right. My unhappiness should be because I feel that others are not good enough for her. Xu Ci is so good and so good, warming me like a little sun. The sun shines in my dark corners, so I will not reject her. any.

But there was a voice in my heart that objected, saying that this is not the case, so my head became more dizzy, and my eyes were a little foggy.

But I miss Xu Ci a little bit now, maybe I haven't seen her for four hours.

It was only four hours, and I didn't see her for more than a month during the winter vacation, but I didn't miss her as much as I do now.

My nose is sore again, how could it be, why do I seem to like her so much.

It seems to be a bit out of control.

"Ke Xiaoyu." I heard someone calling me.

I looked in the direction of the voice in a daze, and Xu Ci was standing not far from me, looking at me, panting slightly.

At the moment when my tears flowed down, I thought, tears are really worthless.

Can you not be with other people?Can I stop liking him?I thought so selfishly before I lost consciousness.

The author has something to say:

It's a small explosion...

Classmate Xiao Ke has burned out

I'm a little confused writing...

It seems a bit cruel to Xiao Ke

But these background lines were buried from the beginning

As I write, I feel bad for Xiao Ke.

Ugh

I still write according to my ideas

I don't know whether to write or not

It's all 5w words

Thank you guys who are still watching