purple yellow

The catkins fluttered lightly, circling and dancing in the air for a long time before landing one after another.The pure white snowdrops, either hanging on the branches or standing on the roof tiles, have already covered the streets of Kaifeng with a thin layer of white gauze.

The silver outfit began to wrap the world, and perhaps, it also began to wrap people's hearts.

"Snowing."

Bai Yutang reached out to the slightly open window sill.Occasionally, one or two snow petals floated and fell on the palm.Before he could catch it, it had already disappeared in an instant, leaving only a slight chill, which penetrated into the skin and into the heart.

The snow fell without a trace.

I want to grab it, but I can't; I have it, but I don't seem to have it.

——This feeling really resembles his current state of mind.

"I didn't expect it to be the twelfth lunar month again."

A sigh came from behind.Bai Yutang didn't look back, his vision was still on the pedestrians walking in the street outside the house.

"I left Kaifeng after the Chinese New Year last year. The days passed so quickly, and another year passed in a blink of an eye."

Zhan Zhao picked up the celadon carved cup, savored it for a while, and then took a sip of the wine in the cup.The mellow wine slid from the throat into the stomach, and when it was young, the wine surged up, burning hot, instantly warming his whole body and mind.

"I don't know what's going on in Kaifeng mansion now."

A smile was printed on Zhan Zhao's face, and a warm current rushed into his heart at the same time.

Unconsciously, he glanced at Bai Yutang at the side again.The betting of the gaze passed by in a flash, and then the smile faded away, replaced by a touch of complex melancholy staining the brows.

However, Bai Yutang didn't notice these things.Because he only stared out the window from beginning to end.

The atmosphere was a bit awkward, so Zhan Zhao forced a smile and changed the subject.

"This Jingyang Building is very good, with excellent food and drink. Although I have stayed in Kaifeng for so many years, I have never been here. I am ashamed to say that I am really ashamed. Today I can taste good food and wine, which is a good fortune." Brother Bai's light."

Zhan Zhao drank two more cups in a row, his face became more and more rosy.Looking at Bai Yutang again, he didn't react at all, he was still in the same posture and expression, as if he didn't hear him at all.

He was a little curious, not knowing what Bai Yutang was looking at so fascinated, so he leaned forward to look.I saw that the snow had already fallen heavily outside the window, the branches and roof tiles were already covered in white, and even the ground began to accumulate snow.Although the snow was heavy, it couldn't hide the enthusiasm of the people. The stalls in the street market were full of voices, and the loud voices of sellers and buyers bargaining could be heard everywhere.

Zhan Zhao smiled knowingly, and said, "I remembered. This year is a rare 'double happiness' - Lichun and New Year's Eve coincidentally coincided on one day. Everyone is very happy, so the purchase of new year's goods has also been prepared early .”

After thinking for a while, he said, "If it happens to snow on this day, it will be a 'auspicious snow heralds a good year'. Snow, spring, and year are all ready. I remember Mr. Gongsun mentioned that if this is the case, we must celebrate it. One Come to celebrate Ruixue, second to bid farewell to the year, and third to welcome the beginning of spring. Brother Bai, how are you preparing for the new year this year?"

Zhan Zhao's high interest obviously failed to arouse any reaction from Bai Yutang.Bai Yutang was still staring out of the window with his eyes fixed on the ground, without any expression on his face.

What is he looking at?

Zhan Zhao couldn't understand it, and couldn't figure it out either.

Yes, Zhan Zhao won't know what Bai Yutang is looking at.Even if Zhan Zhao wanted to know, Bai Yutang would never tell him.

What Bai Yutang watched was neither the hustle and bustle of the market, nor the scenes of women and girls competing for beauty when they were buying wins on the street.What he saw was just a small and unremarkable blacksmith shop. (Note: Sheng, women and children in spring wear various ornaments begging for auspiciousness.)

What's so weird about this blacksmith shop?

No.

Some were just a bare-armed blacksmith who didn't care about the snowfall in the sky repeatedly forging the ax in his hand by the shop.

This is just an ordinary picture.In every city, every town, every township, and even every village, such blacksmiths can be seen everywhere, beating iron tools to perfection.

Bai Yutang is an expert.From the behavior of the blacksmith, he could tell that the blacksmith was by no means a secret hidden master.Bai Yutang could see that Zhan Zhao was also familiar with it, so Zhan Zhao's eyes swept past the blacksmith without stopping for a moment.Therefore, Zhan Zhao will never know what Bai Yutang is looking at and thinking about.

What's more, what Bai Yutang saw was not one, but two.

A person outside the shop, a person inside the shop.

Bai Yutang recognized these two people.

The blacksmith's surname was Wang, and Bai Yutang once asked him to make a pair of iron rings. This blacksmith was a good crafter, and he remembered that he paid him an extra two taels of silver as a reward.So Blacksmith Wang politely invited him into the back room, and asked his frail adoptive brother who stayed in the shop all day to serve him a bowl of tea.

Thinking about it now, I was really innocent at that time, and I couldn't see anything between them at all.

Perhaps, it wasn't that he was blind, but that at that time he had never had that kind of thought at all, and he didn't understand that a man could be tempted by another man besides a woman.

Don't allow sand in your eyes, you don't know how golden the sand is.

In the eyes, what is the difference between gravel and gold?What is the difference between men and women?

At first, it was just a casual glance, and I saw the two talking and laughing, and the brothers were in harmony.Later, the adoptive brother raised his sleeves to wipe the sweat of the blacksmith, but was stopped by the blacksmith, and shook his head solemnly.So Bai Yutang was also moved at that moment.

The eyes flickering in the adoptive brother's eyes are so familiar, and it almost takes only a moment of light to open his long-closed heart.

It turned out that he was not the only one in this world who fell in love with someone who shouldn't be loved.

Should not love, not unworthy of love, but can not love.

Not being able to love is not because you can't, but because the person you love can't and doesn't want to bear this shocking feeling.

But is this feeling wrong?

What's wrong with falling in love with someone, and what's wrong with being willing to give everything for someone?

Is it just because the world is divided into heaven and earth, and people are divided into yin and yang?Just because secular ethics don't allow it, and the world's vision is strange?

A faint smile surfaced on Bai Yutang's face, with a hint of self-mockery.

With the turn of eyes, the adoptive brother entered the room again, and soon he stepped out again, putting a brand new coat on his brother.

A warm current surged from the bottom of his heart, and he suddenly turned his head, which surprised Zhan Zhao, who was in a slump.

"Cold?"

Zhan Zhao didn't react for a while, and just stared at him blankly.

"It will be the coldest time in two days. You're just recovering from a serious illness, it's better to add a few more clothes."

The clear eyes touched the blazing heat that was pressing on him, like water drops dripping on a campfire, dissipating for a while, with a sizzling sound.Zhan Zhao was a little helpless.

"Thank you, Brother Bai, for your concern." That's all Nene said.

"I have a sable coat in my luggage, you take it and wear it."

"No, I'm fine. I'm warming up after a few glasses of wine."

"But your illness..."

"It's all gone." Zhan Zhao stopped Bai Yutang from talking, "Brother Bai, I've been lying on the bed for nearly a month, and I'm almost moldy. Don't treat me like a patient anymore." gone."

Zhan Zhao wanted to smile to ease the atmosphere, but the smile was stiff.

Naturally, Bai Yutang would not let go of any of Zhan Zhao's expressions.So, he stopped talking, frowned, and drank a glass of gloomily.Suddenly, he seemed to think of something again, and said: "Then I will close the window. The wind and cold outside are tight, so as not to pour in and catch cold easily."

After all, I am happy to stand up.

"No need, Brother Bai." Zhan Zhao stretched out his hand to block Bai Yutang's way. "Don't bother, it's very good, and you can see the snow scene."

"Do you still want to mention the word 'trouble' between you and me?" Bai Yutang's face became a little unhappy. "People are born to trouble others."

Zhan Zhao emphasized his tone, "But I don't want to trouble you."

"Haven't you troubled me long enough?"

"Then I won't bother you anymore!"

Bai Yutang was stunned, his entire erect body stiffened.

"What did you say?"

He has never dared to bear the pain that has come or the determination that he will never meet again, just because he deeply knows that if this wound cannot be healed, it will be a brand that will be difficult to erase in his entire life.However, I never thought that this moment would come so quickly and unexpectedly.

Zhan Zhao was also stunned, because of Bai Yutang's expression and what he said.

Eyebrows are tangled again.

"...Brother Bai, don't get me wrong, I don't mean anything else..."

"I see."

Bai Yutang sat down slowly.

"Cat, let's speak clearly."

The wine in the cup suddenly made ripples.

Bai Yutang knew he wasn't moving, so he knew exactly who the shaking person was.

"Although there are some things that shouldn't be said, I can't help but say them."

"..."

"Actually, what I want to say is that you have already known it, but it's just mutual understanding. Maybe you think it's good, but I don't. I think it's very tiring, and I don't like living in such an unclear way. Because I am Bai Yutang, if I want to live, I must live frankly."

"Brother Bai..."

"From the moment I admitted that feeling, I knew that I couldn't go back to the past. But I don't regret it. Even if it is forbidden by heaven and earth, even if you despise and spurn me, I have no regrets. Because I don't feel I was wrong."

"Brother Bai! Stop talking."

"I don't deny that I loved Yuehua, and I still keep this feeling in my heart. But I want you to know that you are different from her, and the way I feel about you is different from anyone else. Until now Now, I don't even know what I regard you as, friend, brother, confidant, or..."

"Brother Bai! Enough!"

"However, I am very clear, very clear, very clear....I...I have...I really am..."

"Brother Bai!—"

Zhan Zhao shouted loudly, and grabbed his arm at the same time.

That shout was actually quite loud, and the silence that followed was not enough to completely eliminate the rest of the sound.

There is no movement in the eyes, but those who stare at each other can clearly see the flashes of emotions in each other's eyes that cannot be expressed in words.That look was staring at each other, but it was also like a battle—a war between water and fire.

The water is defeated.Seems like a total failure.Because those clear eyes were completely closed.

So, does the fire win?

No, I lost too.defeated more thoroughly.

The closing of the eyes made the brows "wrinkle" to the limit, the inexorable pain broke the embankment, and the raging waves roared towards him, swallowing him completely, and even his heart trembled.

"do not talk."

Zhan Zhao's breathing became thin and rapid, and his expression seemed to be pleading.

"Enough...enough...."

It turns out that he was shaken like this, it turns out...it turns out...

Bai Yutang sank back into the chair.

He also closed his eyes.Because only by not seeing him, he no longer has to read his own cruelty from the pain of others.

Bai Yutang started to drink, one cup after another.He drank more and more quickly, and the more he drank, the more anxious he was, and the pot was half empty in a blink of an eye.

Zhan Zhao could tell that he was not drinking, but pouring.

"Enough." Zhan Zhao grabbed the handle of the pot.

"Since you won't let me talk, why don't you let me drink?"

"You'll be drunk."

Bai Yutang laughed loudly: "Wrong, I won't get drunk. People who want to get drunk will not get drunk. Because there is a kind of helplessness in this world called 'things backfire'."

"Since you know that things are going against your wishes, why do you still drink?" Zhan Zhao didn't avoid his eyes this time, "Why...why don't you stop?"

Bai Yutang was completely stunned, speechless.

After a while, he laughed again, a wry smile.

"You're right, you should give up if you don't drink. But..." The dead silence in his eyes seemed to dim the world, "There is another kind of helplessness in this world, called 'involuntary'." He looked at him , even with that kind of dead silence, it also exaggerated the past, "Aren't you the one who can understand this sentence the most?"

The hand in the blue sleeve withdrew, and the hand in the white sleeve immediately covered it and grabbed the handle of the pot.

Gently, there were two dry laughs.

"When my mouth can't control what I shouldn't say, in order to stop it, I can only use alcohol. Because not only I can't help myself, but I can't help my heart."

The snow was getting bigger and falling like goose feathers.

The breath of pedestrians became whiter, and the hustle and bustle of the streets became louder.But the "heat" of the people outside could not pass through the slightly open window.

Because the windows are also frozen.

Only those sad and desolate eyes peeped out of the window, as if deliberately trying to get contaminated by the bustle of the street.

He, indeed, can understand the helplessness called "involuntary" in this world better than anyone else.

However, he was confused, since there is "involuntary body", why is there such a thing called "involuntary heart" in this world?

Zhan Zhao's expression suddenly changed.A flying body has jumped out of the small window.

This sudden change made Bai Yutang almost dumbfounded.Zhan Zhao left suddenly without leaving a word.

I can't drink the wine anymore.

Bai Yutang snatched the bundle and jumped out.

Of course, he will not forget to shout while jumping.

"On credit!—"