love gl

this is not the life i want

I am Suman. Maybe readers think that I am a royal sister, calm and indifferent, rational and wise, but this is not the case. This is what Mumu sees of me, the real me, and I am not perfect.

My parents work in a law firm, so I grew up in a rigid family.The rigorous work of my parents led me to think that human nature should be like this, so I restrained my lively nature and became a little gloomy. I adapted to the surrounding environment and got along with everyone. I didn't know what I wanted. I I just attribute to myself what I think is perfect, even if those are not what I want, my principles, cognition, success criteria, everything is my imposition of worldly views on myself, I think either?I don't know, but I think those are the ones I should have.

It doesn't matter whether it's happy or sad, my emotions are always well controlled, even if the sky is falling, I should read books and work.

When I came into contact with a place called "nicotine" in high school, it is really as addictive as its name.It's a chaotic place.Of course, it is also very difficult to get the entry pass. It is a member-driven system. Every time there is a performance there, I will find an opportunity to watch it. The average price of a ticket is usually 3000 yuan. Although my family is not as powerful as Yichu outrageous.But the income of the CEO of a law firm should not be underestimated. Nicotine's performances cover a lot of content, and they can never get rid of violence and blood. With animals, I think everyone understands.But the one that impressed me the most was a person and a dog. In fact, people and dogs are normal, but. . .

The man was lying beside the iron fence, and someone beside him had put on boxing gloves, and the red bandages were tightly wrapped around his wrists. Amidst the cheers, the man occupied the center of the arena, and a vicious dog howled in the hands of another man , the man loosened the chain in his hand, the dog jumped and bit the man's arm, the man fell down in pain, the dog bit the man's calf again, the man rolled over in pain, sat up and bit the dog with his mouth open On the head, human blood and dog blood dripped on the ground. The man let go and pushed the dog away forcefully. The gap caused the dog's head to be punched by the man several times. The dog was powerless to resist, and the saliva was splashed everywhere. The man was exhausted and stood there confronting the dog. The dog suddenly jumped up and bit the man's neck. The man punched him quickly. Fighting back, the dog seemed to be stupid after being beaten, and stayed on the ground dumbfounded. Both the man and the dog were sweating profusely. The powerful fist was indeed swung sideways, so that the dog had a chance to go around behind the man, threw him down, and finally pinned the man under him.The sharp teeth aimed at the artery on the man's neck. Just when everyone thought the man was finished, the man suddenly shouted, Jacky, the dog stopped all movements, and there seemed to be tears in his eyes. I just saw the man There is a necklace on the neck, which says jackyiffoundpleasecall.Then the man and the dog attacked the man who led the dog at the same time. At that time, one of the dogs' eyes seemed to be blood red, and the man was bitten to death.I never expected to see such an ending.

The most special program here is the hybrid party. There are no special performers in the hybrid party. Everyone who enters is an actor. There, you will never know what kind of person your body will be, man or woman, animal or people.

I've been to parties like this, but I haven't lost my virginity.The college student who recruited me to become a member took me into a room. I was a spectator at that time, watching a girl I was familiar with was broken by four or five men. In my mind, I rarely had nicotine after that.But after all, I couldn’t think of another way to release the repressed feelings, so those depressive pressures were bloody released in a perverted place. It was a performance between people that made me decide never to take nicotine again.A gloomy voice came from inside the ticket window as always: "Today, there are only people and people."

"So monotonous?"

The person in the window smiled: "Equally matched or disparate in strength?"

I hesitated for a while, there is a huge disparity in strength.

"Eight thousand."

I wondered why it was so expensive today, but I couldn't help being curious and bought a ticket.Unexpectedly, the disparity in strength turned out to be adults and children!The children's cries were sharp and scary, unlike the feeling of watching people torture and kill rabbits before, I finally couldn't bear the atmosphere here and threw up.Always immersed in the shadow of this show, it was in this situation that I met my first love.

People always have to fall in love once!In addition, I watched child abuse performances before, so I easily agreed to Jun. You are the sunshine in my life for so many years.The only difference between us is that he pursues worldly success by nature, while I have lost my true cognitive and judgment ability because of the rigidity of my family.The days with Jun saved me from the nightmare of nicotine. I don’t want to recall the sweetness and beauty of being with Jun. I think everyone can imagine the romance of high school classmates, but we have to be more high-profile.Jun likes this feeling of being envied and superior, but I didn’t have the material to that point at that time, I just wanted to get out of the shadow of the child abuse performance, but I didn’t expect that we would end up with a fake show Really do, both moved true feelings.At the end of the college entrance examination, he chose a different city from mine. At that time, I was very disappointed. I thought our love was enough for him to choose the same school as me, but then I understood that our worldview determines that we are destined not to External compromise.

But now these are not important anymore. The important thing is that I realized that during this period of time, I was sluggish, not talking or thinking about your affairs, not because of how important this man is to me, not because of how important this man is to me. How badly he hurt me, but for so many years I didn't know what life I wanted!It's so sad that I've been lost for more than thirty years, and what woke me up was the whip with blood on my hand and the door she closed tightly with all her strength.

Mumu is the one I love! ! !

I rushed into the bathroom like crazy, desperately washing the blood on the whip, as if this could wash away the damage I caused her.While washing and washing, I couldn't help crying, thinking of all kinds of Mumu at that time.

The first time I came into contact with Mumu, she was my personal assistant. I admired this little girl's ability to work.A few months later, I found out that she had stolen other people's resumes, which was illegal, but I didn't expose her because I cherished my talents. I told her to go back and study hard, and she must keep her law.With no expression on her face, she nodded to me calmly, thus completing our initial contact.The second time I saw her was when I came home from a dinner party, and I saw a familiar figure crying with her back turned to me. That kind of crying sounded like she had been wronged so much, and she couldn't help walking into her. When she saw it was me, she immediately hugged me live.No one has ever hugged me so excitedly.

Take her home, see her rushing to take a bath, and vaguely understand what happened.I remember that at the nicotine hybrid party, one of my classmates was so desperate after being insulted by several men.All of a sudden, anger hits your heart, isn't it telling you to keep your own place?

I took out a glass of red wine, hoping to calm down, but when she came out of the bathroom and looked at me timidly, the fire came out again, and after listening to what she said, I finally greeted her with a whip.

The little girl was smart enough to hide in the room, but I moved too slowly and I took the first step. I whipped her a few times and saw that she was not moving. I realized that the punishment was almost over, but the anger in my heart was hard to appease. To vent my anger, I whipped her a few more times.I admit I am irrational.

She was standing on the ground, wearing my long t-shirt, she looked innocent, her shoulders were shaking, she was obviously crying very sad, and she was a little angry, you still have the face to cry when you do this kind of thing, with a whip in your hand After fiddling with her for a long time, he finally stopped entertaining her with a whip.

Just thinking about what to say to her, the atmosphere was too awkward, she opened her mouth: "Su..."

Seeing that she wanted to leave, thinking of Mr. Suoyang, I told him to stay here first, and help her treat the wound on her body with a towel. She was trembling with pain, and I seemed a little too much.I am not someone to her, how can I beat her like this?

In the next few days, she stayed here to recuperate from her injuries. During the past few days, Suoyang hadn't asked her about her situation. I don't know if it's because businessmen value profit more than leave. This is his daughter.

The second time we met was outside Wal-Mart, the little girl continued to hang out with that gangster, I was angry, but I understood her behavior, there are some things, you can’t just leave after getting in touch with her.

But after listening to what she said, I broke out in a cold sweat because Mian actually died in the supermarket.

I helped her change her name and school, and let her stay with me. She wanted to leave my place countless times, because she didn't know when the enemy would find her, but I didn't agree. I think she needs me.After two months, she gradually adapted to the new school and environment, and she, who was always beautiful, became more attractive, and boys often sent her back, talking and laughing.One night he told me that she met one of Mian's younger brothers. When it came to the fact that no one in the world knew she was Mian's woman, I was relieved.Thinking that the CWP offer in that city has already been obtained, I should join the job as soon as possible, I am afraid, I am afraid that I will be jealous when I see the boys with healthy bodies full of hormones and beautiful temperament together again, so I left Mumu.

The third time I met her was when she was in college. She actually chose the same major as me, so she gradually knew the role of Yichu in her life and became even more jealous. It is good-tempered to endure.

Later, she graduated and became my assistant. She made a mess for me at the company's first proposal presentation. I lost my mind and beat her violently again and again. She even ran away from home and didn't even tell me that she was sick.The head of the department is very interested in her and always invites her to dinner or something, I'm jealous.

I never admitted that it was jealousy.

Lin Wei.

Let's talk about her, she was the one who caused Mu Mu to be hurt, and it was Lin Wei who committed the villain in Mu Mu's life.From the time Mumu came to me to the time she came back from the United States, she has been doing evil all the time. In fact, I don’t blame her. My old boss, Mr. Lin Xiande, has always doted on her little daughter. A girl who no one cares about can't beat her.

Alas, every time when Mumu is mentioned, I always feel disorganized.

Jun, if Mumu is the rainbow of my life, then Jun is the rainstorm that caught people off guard. I thought I loved him deeply, but everything was my opinion, just like I never admitted that I was jealous of Mumu Like the boys around Mu, I don't know what I want, I just gave my youth and love for a man who has no future with me, and then we got married, I think this is the biggest thing in my life Gift, we do seem to love each other very much, in fact, I also gave him many emotions that I have never given, such as tears, such as loss, such as decadence.

But he is not my lover.

After Mumu left home, I lost my soul, and slept on the bed for two days without eating or drinking. When I woke up, I found myself sick. Looking at my haggard self in the mirror, I cried again.After Mumu left, I cried countless times, fell asleep and woke up crying, which was the only thing I did.I think once I beat Mumu so hard that she couldn't go to work, she slept on the ground all day, I deliberately went home early to take care of her, but inexplicably let her go.That time when Mumu hid in the hotel to recuperate, when she couldn't hold on, she asked Bai Xiaokang to save him. I have seen Bai Xiaokang's tenderness to Mumu, maybe that's why I gave up my lover to others .

At that time, Mu Mu was sick alone, was it like this?

My beautiful Mumu, how could I be sick alone?

Maybe leaving me is the best ending for her?

Yes, Mumu has left me. What does I, Suman, deserve that she has been beaten and scolded by me irrationally for countless times without complaining?

Suman, tell me about myself.I decided to pursue an advertising career because my parents said that the development of this industry is relatively good, and the value brought by a case may be the annual income of some middle-level managers, and advertising was a new major at that time, and a dull person like me actually engaged in this Now, a career full of changes and colors.

I think maybe God wants this to be the bond between me and Mumu's life.

I'm really not good enough, it's just because of my dull personality that I look like a sister-in-law, but I'm really not, because I can't be rational to Mumu.

Yi Chu is a natural stunner, she is an old-timer in the advertising industry, her talent is very high, and I don't have any talent, my success is entirely the result of hard work and clumsy birds flying first, it's a surprise, isn't it, you all think I'm perfect, But does anyone know that all behind my perfection are not good enough?

This is not the life I want.

This is not the life I want.

This is not the life I want.

Do you understand?

This is not the life I want.

At the end of the year, I went to find Yichu, I wanted to know where Mumu was, and I wanted to be with her.

I didn't expect that Yichu would also break up in love. It's funny to say that Yichu's girlfriend is 14 years younger than her, but they were so affectionate.

Mumu and I had countless opportunities to be together, but they all missed me.

So the two lovelorn women were drinking on the sofa, and Yichu said: "Suman, I saw you beat Mumu so badly that I wanted to kill you. Do you know that Mumu was with me before? Do you know that my people have never been bullied like this?"

I have nothing to say.

When I finally realized that what I wanted was Mumu, she had completely disappeared from my life, and he didn't even tell Yichu where she had gone.

Mumu, are you so determined to forget me?

The sound of firecrackers outside the window sounded, and I said to Yichu in a dull voice, "Why do you like luxury so much and buy a house here?"

Yichu didn't speak, and answered me after drinking a bottle of wine, "Pikachu...she likes it...she said that the human touch here is strong enough to make her feel like her hometown."

We came to the window and watched the colorful fireworks outside, tears streaming down involuntarily.Tears, how is it possible for such a glorious image as ours.

In front of a person who understands me, I cried to my heart's content, and I think Yichu is the same, so that the door was opened and we didn't know it was Pikachu, she rushed over and hugged the drunken Zhu Yichu seemed to want to turn her into a part of her body and said over and over again: "I love you! I love you! I love you!"

The dog-blood bridge in the movie finally appeared in my life.Maybe this is love, three words include everything.Maybe this is love, which is cherished only after it is lost.Maybe this is love, people will break their heads and fight for their lives.

I quietly left Yichu's house.I want to find Mumu, I want to find my lover, I want to tell her: "Mumu, I love you!"