turn into a breeze

The rainy season seems to be endless, the air is filled with thick humidity, as if the breath is sticky with rain, no matter how you clean the house, there will always be a faint musty smell, and the clothes that cannot be dried properly are dried in the shade Then came the disgusting smell.

Even later, the walls and the ground will overflow with water drops.

Sitting next to the desk, I impatiently pressed the cigarette in my hand into the already full ashtray, and then violently scratched my hair, trying to suppress the irritability that was constantly surging in my heart.

A few days ago, Xiao Huang said that something happened at home and he needed to leave for a day or two. Although I was a little bit reluctant, I had no reason to keep him.But it was clearly agreed that he would only be away for a day or two, but now it has been the fifth day, but no one has been seen yet.

I looked at the cloudy and rainy weather outside. I could see a ray of sunshine in the previous day. After he left, the sky never cleared again.

I am not a person who knows how to take care of myself, and the house has become a mess these days. I don’t want to cook by myself, so I went to the convenience store in the village and bought some instant noodles.

I don't know where the instant noodles in the village are purchased from. No matter how you eat them, they taste very strange.

In the refrigerator, all the dishes brought by Xiao Huang had gone bad, and because I was upset, I threw them all out.

He is not coming back anymore.

This thought kept popping up in my mind.

Why should I wait for him here, now that the relics have been sorted out, shouldn't I contact the demolition company and the person who wants to buy the land?

At the beginning, there were calls and information of the demolition company and the buyer on the mobile phone. After seeing that I didn't reply, the buyer cursed a few words impatiently, and then there was no further comment.

During this period, the editor made a phone call, telling me that the sales volume of the book was not satisfactory, and the publisher would not reprint it. Although I expected this news, I would feel a little annoyed when I actually heard it.

After being asked where I was, I only said that I was writing in retreat, but the other party didn’t say anything, didn’t even ask me what I was writing, just said some words of encouragement and then hung up the phone.

I'm afraid they are going to give up on me.

I just feel that this should be the publisher's attitude towards me.

At the beginning, after being signed by the publishing house with the opportunity of winning the award, it was really prosperous for a while, and then it fell from the high cliff quickly like a turbulent waterfall.

Fresh writers have sprung up like mushrooms after rain. I have read their articles, and every time I read them, I would yell "what are they" and throw the books aside, but after I scolded, I felt deeply in my heart, That's all so much better than me.

The biggest reason why I decided to come to the ancestral house to sort out the relics in person is because the publishing house withdrew my serialization from the two magazines.

The editor kept whispering in my ear that "this place is not interesting enough", "there is out of the sense of the times".

Every time I hear such a sentence, I can't wait to throw all the manuscripts in his face and yell "you can write it if you can". In fact, I know that if he really comes to write it, it may be better than mine. So much better.

Annoyed, I closed the computer and pushed it away. I ran to the yard and looked at the plants that had been weighed down by the rain.

"Bastard, you left me here alone."

Roaring, I suddenly flew up and kicked the stagnant water on the ground.

"Wow!"

A scream sounded from the front, and I saw a tall man standing there holding an old black umbrella and a basket of food.

The white T-shirt I personally bought for him was completely soaked by the sewage, and some sewage even dripped from his chin.

Xiao Huang stared at me blankly, as if he didn't understand why he received such a "warm" welcome from me just after he came back.

"You don't want to come back at all! Anyway, things are sorted out here, and I should go back."

Seeing him covered in sewage, although I felt a sense of guilt in my heart, the annoyance overwhelmed the trace of guilt, and I yelled and threw the cigarette butt at him, watching him jump away as if frightened, then I turned and entered the room.

He went back to his room angrily, and then locked the door behind him. Not long after, he heard his hurried steps up the stairs.

"The small hall? The small hall is open?"

The doorknob was turned, and Xiao Huang's voice came from outside.

"I'm sorry, Xiaotang, I'm sorry..."

He kept apologizing outside the door. In fact, I know that my behavior like this is just making trouble for no reason. He has nothing to apologize for at all. I am the one who took all my anger on him and behaved badly. .

Maybe it's because he seems so natural these days living here, I even forget that this is not his home at all, he is just a well-meaning child from a distant relative who helped me with my grandmother's funeral, and then obeyed Just follow my parents' order to take care of me.

Speaking of distant relatives, I actually don't know at all, and I haven't even visited his parents. If they are real relatives, the indifferent blood relationship may not be as good as a stranger.

This time when he came home, maybe it wasn't because there was something wrong at home, but because he was tired of taking care of me, so he wanted to go back and take a breath.

Negative emotions kept lingering in my heart, I even dragged out my suitcase and started packing.

"Xiaotang, I'm sorry, Xiaotang, I will never leave you alone again, I'm sorry, can you open the door?"

Maybe because I heard me packing my luggage, Xiao Huang's voice outside became anxious.

He stuffed the clothes indiscriminately into the suitcase, but because he couldn't stuff them well, he slammed the clothes against the closed door vigorously.

After lighting the cigarette, I sat weakly on the ground and leaned against the corner of the table in a daze, watching the red light of the cigarette burn slowly in the dark.

I felt that I lost my temper with him like a naive and uneducated child. After smoking a cigarette, my mood seemed to calm down. I walked to the door and just opened the door. Hold me tight.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone. I'm sorry. Xiaotang, don't leave, don't ignore me, okay?"

There was a crying tone in Xiaohuang's voice, and I felt hot and humid water drops falling on my neck.

Originally, I wanted to tell him to pack up and go home, and I will leave tomorrow, but after seeing his appearance, I couldn't say anything at all, I could only stand there and touch his soft hair, listening to his constant crying.

A few days after that, Xiao Huang became very clingy to me, and would hold me tightly in his arms at night, and even had nightmares several times that I was tightly entangled by some horrible tentacles or pressed hard by a stone, and was awakened For a moment, I thought that I would suffocate to death like this. I told him several times, and he would always let go of his hand a little with very sad eyes, and hug me tightly again after I fell asleep.

During the day, his eyes would never leave me. Even when cooking, he would check from the kitchen door from time to time to see if I was still at home. Several times, he didn't pay attention to the burnt dishes.

When there is nothing to do, he will hold me in his arms or lie on my lap. When I used to write, he would always play with my mobile phone next to me, but now he always sits beside me, watching nervously. with me.

"Xiaotang, you won't leave suddenly, will you?"

Late that night, Xiao Huang, who was hugging me tightly, seemed to have been driven to the extreme by fear, and finally couldn't help asking me this in a crying voice.

"This is not my permanent residence, I always have to leave."

Hearing what I said, Xiao Huang hugged me even more terrified, and even, I saw the black shadow in front of me pressing down, and then felt him gently licking my lips with his tongue.

Although I was shocked, but I don't know why, but I didn't stop him.

Maybe it's because his actions are too much like a wounded animal seeking comfort.

"If only it could become a breeze, then I can always be by your side."

After flipping around a few times, he buried his head in my neck and said the same thing again.

"You can leave with me even if you don't have to become Breeze. I'm sorry for your parents, but it's good for your future if you go to the city."

Xiao Huang didn't speak, just buried his head in my neck and remained motionless. The gas he exhaled cleansed my sensitive skin, as if he wanted to burn me.

At that time, I silently made a decision in my heart. If I left, I would definitely take him with me.

I have even sketched in my mind the beautiful days we will live together in the future, living in my small apartment, he will definitely make the apartment more cozy, and then we will have breakfast together, and he can find a place for me to write at home A satisfying job, you can take food out for a picnic or go for a walk during the holidays, if you don’t want to go out, then stay at home and watch videos for a day.

At night, we can hug each other tightly and sleep. In summer, I will definitely dislike being hugged by him and sleep too hot, but he will definitely ignore my dislike and continue to lean in. In winter, I will happily stick to his arms In, absorbing the warmth from his body.

That night, Xiaohuang still didn't give me an answer. I fell asleep with a beautiful dream. I haven't slept so comfortably for a long time. On the second day, the bright sunshine outside the house shone on us who embraced and slept together. .

All the gloom in my heart was swept away, and I felt that it was good that the sky could clear up.