Now, little cane

There was a moment of silence, Qi Ling's expression was calm, she didn't mention the past at all, she just wanted to dismiss Wu Yixing with a single mistake.

Wu Yixing slowly hooked his lips and asked, "Then do you know how you feel when Yanhe has a problem?"

Wu Yixing observed that Qi Ling's hands stiffened, and smiled even more.

Qi Ling: "I was wrong."

Wu Yixing: "Huh?"

Qi Ling: "I was wrong. My mood at that time."

Qi Ling's voice was gloomy: "I shouldn't like him, and I shouldn't deliberately stop women who admire him, I shouldn't ask him out to make it clear that I'm already in this abyss, and I shouldn't drag him into the water.

"I was wrong. But when I realized it, it was too late."

Qi Ling looked directly at Wu Yixing, she was also blocked by this frank statement and couldn't say a word.

After so many years, these words still carry a strong sense of guilt.

Qiling took a deep breath and let it out, smiling bitterly: "Yanhe is a very, very stubborn person, when I realized it, it was already too late."

Wu Yixing didn't speak, rubbed his hand to wipe the wine glass, and lowered his head slightly.

Qi Ling: "His plan will not be easily changed by one person. Whatever he wants to do, he will accomplish it. Even what he decides not to tell others, he can keep it a secret for a long time."

Wu Yixing: "...Yes."

Qi Ling soon broke up with He Hui, he didn't want He Hui to see his thoughts on Yan He, besides, he really didn't have any thoughts on He Hui, he couldn't change his sexual orientation.He doesn't need to go out to play, he doesn't like to go shopping with girls, he just wants to keep his word and pay for his stupidity.

He Hui left crying, he broke a girl's heart.

Sure enough, he is not worthy of being loved.

Qi Ling thought.

It doesn't matter whether it was good or bad at the beginning, he screwed up again.

When he handed the medicine to Yan He.When he was reading those fairy tales by Yanhe's bed.When he looked at Yan He feeling helpless and helpless.When he couldn't dissuade Yanhe from giving up trying.When he watched Yanhe vomit, watched Yanhe's asthma attack repeatedly, looked at Yanhe... his face was pale and his head was full of sweat.

He always thinks so.

The rest of the guilt, incompetence, and uncomfortable emotions are useless.

He can only bury it in his heart.

Living with Yanhe for half a month was like a tug-of-war, without gunpowder, he just felt that the pain and numbness every day was a little bit more than the day before.

Yan He felt guilty and routine, and his desire to recover was even more urgent.But Qi Ling could see it, but couldn't express what was in her heart.

Yan He would often run into the crowd while he wasn't paying attention, for varying lengths of time, and when he came back, his face was always pale.

He lost his temper at Yanhe.

After Yan He listened quietly, he said with a smile: "There is always this hurdle, I don't want to trouble you all the time, I... can't be with you forever."

Qi Ling's hands trembled uncontrollably, forcing herself to turn her head and not respond.

It is impossible.They were not on the same road.

It's just, his, wishful thinking.That's all.

Qi Ling took a step back in this matter.After regressing, it is the result that is even more unbearable or bearable.

Yanhe has frequent asthma and vomiting attacks.

Yan He went out by himself, and several times when he came back, he rushed directly to the bathroom, and Qi Ling stood outside, listening to his vomiting.Yan He refused him to go in, he didn't want to be seen so embarrassed.

When Yan He came out, he would hand him a glass of water.

Yanhe would still smile and say thank you.

Laughing makes Qi Ling's heart almost angry, almost painful.

But Yan He's emotions were not as stable as he showed. Yan He's anxiety was hidden in places he couldn't see. Qi Ling could feel that the atmosphere between the two of them was gradually collapsing into a string, but he didn't know when it would break.

That day is not far away.

That day, the morning sun was as good as ever.

The school sports meeting was held in full swing as always.

Yan He has not played basketball on Friday for a long, long time.He didn't watch either.Qi Ling didn't dare to mention it either.

The whole class watched the game together that day, Yan He raised his head slightly, and Qi Ling could feel Yan He's expectation.During those countless Fridays, he was sweating all over, with his elbows on his shoulders, and he smiled very happily.Qi Ling's heart has gradually lost its sensitivity to pain, but she still sees all this and buries it deeply in her heart.

Yan He, a boy on the court, knew him. When he was off the court, he threw the ball to Yan He jokingly. Yan He caught it and passed it back to him.

The boy smiled and asked, "Why haven't I seen you on Friday?"

Yan He said politely, "I've been busy recently."

The boy patted Yan He on the shoulder: "See you later."

Yan He's smile almost didn't stop, and after a while, he just said, "Okay."

The boy smiled and waved away holding the ball.

When Qi Ling turned her head again, Yan He was no longer in sight.

Qi Ling went to the remote bathroom, heard the sound of water splashing inside, took a look, Yan He kept patting his face with water.

Qiling stood outside, after a while, Yanhe came out, and Qiling hid beside the nearby trees.

In fact, he didn't hide either, he just stood quietly in an inconspicuous corner, Yanhe didn't have the energy to pay attention to the changes around him.

He walked slowly, his back straightened.

Qi Ling's eyes were hot as she watched him walk out of sight.

Yan He will not get better for a long time, the doctor said, Qi Ling also accepted, only himself.

Only he refused to accept the result.

Try to struggle, like an insect entangled in spider silk, the more you struggle, the worse the situation will be.

How could Qi Ling not understand?

How could he not know.

He covered his eyes a little slumped.

Walking in the evening, it took half an hour longer, Qiling was waiting in the living room, looking at her watch, Yanhe who was waiting for her came back, and ran to the bathroom in a hurry, before the door could be closed, Qiling heard the sound of vomiting .

Qi Ling couldn't describe his mood.

He went in and knelt on the ground and patted Yan He on the back, hoping that he could slow down.

The floor was cold and hard, and Qi Ling's knees felt uncomfortable, but he didn't know if Yan He could still feel the discomfort.

Yan He didn't refuse him, and took the water he handed over to rinse his mouth.

Press the button, flush the vomit and close the toilet lid.

Yan He didn't have the strength to stand up for a while, and sat on the floor with his head bowed and panting.

Frustration and powerlessness made him restless.

Qi Ling didn't say a word, just accompanied him.

Yan He raised his head to look at Qi Ling, Qi Ling lowered his eyes, and Yan He felt a little uncomfortable.

Not against Qi Ling, but against herself.

It's been too long, it's been too long... Yan He almost felt that he couldn't get better.

Yan He whispered: "I haven't brought back the things I bought in the small supermarket downstairs."

Qi Ling interface: "I'll go."

Yan He shook his head: "I'll go later, you...let me be quiet."

Qi Ling insisted: "I'll go, you rest."

Yan He: "I said I will go later."

Qi Ling looked at Yan He, there were fine pieces of cold sweat on his forehead, his face was pale, and the three-point red on his lips had faded away.

Qi Ling was angry: "What are you doing like this?"

Yan He looked up, expressionless: "I will go."

"Look at your face!"

Yan He: "Don't worry about it."

Qi Ling bit her lip.

Yan He also felt that his words were a bit harsh, and he suppressed the discomfort: "Thank you, I have a bad temper now...don't talk to me."

Qi Ling was a little numb: "Do you know how many times you rushed back like this?"

Yanhe is speechless.

Qiling gritted her teeth: "You won't get well at all, why are you forcing yourself?"

Yan He was stabbed by Qi Ling's words, and got up to leave, but Qi Ling blocked the door.

Yan He: "Get out of the way."

"Tell you to get out of the way!"

Qi Ling stubbornly guarded the door.

Yan He was annoyed: "How long can you stay with me, I can't live without you, I have to get better in the past six months."

Qi Ling said slowly and with difficulty: "I can accompany you slowly."

"How long is it slowly? Huh? What if it takes ten or twenty years?"

Qi Ling looked at Yan He's light-colored eyes, which opened slightly because of anger.

His voice was low and hoarse: "If it is, I will accompany you."

Yan He was almost helpless: "You let me go out, I will definitely be able to hold back this time, and I want to try again."

"You are torturing yourself." Qi Ling refused to budge.

"So what, I want to get better. I am still a part of society, and facing people is the most basic thing."

Qi Ling: "It's useless for you to treat your illness like this. The frequency of your illness is increasing, do you know that?!"

There was silence.

Yan He closed his eyes and panted, "I know."

Opening my eyes and looking firm: "This is the best solution I can come up with. I can't just do nothing and wait for it to heal naturally. What if it doesn't work?"

In case it goes bad.

In case all night insomnia becomes the norm in the future.

In case I can no longer play basketball.

What if...becoming like a useless person? !

Yan He suppressed the fear in his heart, unwilling to think about these unavoidable problems.

I no longer want to gradually increase the dose of medicine.

Withdraw your hand and take a step forward.

Qi Ling hugged him suddenly.

Yan He felt that Qi Ling was trembling, and his pale lips sighed silently.

Yan He: "Let go of me, Qi Ling."

"Do not."

"sorry."

Yan He: "Don't say that sentence, I don't want to explain it again."

"You don't need to feel unnecessary guilt..."

Yan He suddenly felt his right shoulder wet.

"I won't let you out, stop torturing yourself."

"It's not an unnecessary guilt, that bar, I know, the place where I purposely dated.

"Sorry for putting you through this.

"I lied."

Yan He couldn't turn his head around for a while: "Why?"

He felt Qi Ling hug him a little tighter, he was about the same height as Qi Ling, Yanhe couldn't see Qi Ling's expression.

When Yan He thought he would not let go, Qi Ling let go instead.

He took a step back, his eyes were red, and his face was full of tears, but he didn't cry.

Almost the same face as that day.

Qi Ling said in despair: "Because I like you.

"Because I don't like girls, I like, like boys.

"I'm the same as the people there."

Yanhe was speechless, his mind was filled with whiteness like the snow that only fell in winter.

Qi Ling took another step back: "No matter how long you recover, I will accompany you, and I will watch over you to find a way.

"If, if I like you..."

Qi Ling was so sad that she could hardly speak, she smiled on that crying face.

"If I like you about this,

"Makes you sick.

"sorry."

"I did not mean it."

Qi Ling turned around hastily and walked outside.

He didn't care to wipe away the tears on his face.

The author has something to say: These two days have been eating everywhere and being very busy~~QAQ Zun doesn’t like the Spring Festival very much~~~ I’m going to eat again tonight, the table is full of meat and I can’t eat it.

Please give the cigarette case a chapter time to bend~~ I hope that some friends who leave the day after tomorrow will come back to see me~~~(Lie~~

Babies who are still there, hug each other, Qi Ma loves you~~~~(/≧▽≦)/