grow with you

I have never believed in the word fate. Everything has to be fought for by myself. This is what my life has taught me. It is better to die if you don’t fight for it. But at the same time, I am afraid of death. I always know that I am a coward. The person who wants to use unscrupulous means and is obsequious, what he said is right, I am a coward.

My origin is doomed that if I don’t struggle in this life, I will think about the sewage on the street, be disgusted by others, and finally be washed into the sewer, because my mother is a dishonest person. When I was very young, my short-lived father drank alcohol on the construction site After drinking to death, my grandma led people to cry at the contractor for two days, and finally happily took 5 yuan to build a two-story building for my uncle.Of course, my mother is not simple. She doesn't know how to get the courage to call the police and village cadres to her home, saying that she is an orphan and widowed by this big family. Asking for the money back made people a few streets away come to see the joke.In the end, I didn't know how to negotiate. My mother opened a barber shop on the streets of the county with 4 yuan.

Later, the daughter-in-law of the village cadre came over. She was a standard middle-aged woman, fat, red-skinned, and wearing a flowery skirt that she thought she was pretty. These human beings will only gossip behind their backs and dare not do anything to us. Am I being wronged?Why!It's true, I've had that old ugly guy show up at the barber shop more than once, but what can I do?Run away from home, don't be stupid, I don't have the ability to live on my own, and habits are good drugs, I am used to seeing my mother always bring different people in and out of the courtyard, I found that there is no disturbance in my heart, and I was in third grade that year.

I followed my mother to the elementary school in the county. I can’t remember the name of that school. It’s not so much that I forgot, it’s better to say that I sealed my humiliation, and I didn’t believe it since then Children are kind-hearted nonsense, children are devils, because they were born by devils, I vaguely remember that I only had one thought at that time, that was to leave this small county and never come back, and the only way was to get admitted to the junior high school in the city.

I work hard for my goals every day, but there will always be people who want to interfere with me. For example, I will feel angry because of the strange eyes of the teacher, so I said that I made a mess of the office after school. Fortunately, there were no cameras at that time.For example, if there are a few annoying children discussing behind the scenes, it’s fine, and they blocked me and asked me for money, but I didn’t give it?Impossible, if I don't give it, I will be beaten all over, but I know those people, I spent a week or two preparing to poison all the chickens, ducks, geese and dogs in those children's homes, Yes, I really didn't have any sympathy back then, and no one took the initiative to approach me in the next three years, I knew they were scared.They are afraid that they will be the next to die. I think they really take them too seriously. Why should I kill people?To leave such a big stain on my life, my life must have a bright future.

Not surprisingly, I was admitted to the best junior high school in the city, and I was the only one in the county, so I could finally leave this disgusting place.Human beings are the most ugly. On the day when my grades came out, all the teachers who had never looked at me led me to introduce me one by one, saying that I was their favorite student. The ugly face is really disgusting!Even my neighbors would say that Kobayashi is different from his mother and promising.This time proved that my point of view was correct. I can only step on these snobbish people when I am successful. I finally graduated from elementary school that year.

I finally left that ghostly place and the home that suffocated me. Although my mother did a good job and never came to see me, the living expenses were enough. There was nothing worth mentioning about my junior high school life. I only have one The goal is to take the high school entrance exams in the market free of charge. I lived up to expectations. I passed the exam, but I was not happy about it. Although the tuition fees are free, my mother suddenly told me that I can take care of myself when I grow up. Actually, it’s nothing. After graduating from junior high school, I worked in a restaurant for two months.

My high school, I don’t have much memory in my imagination, except for studying and working, but there was a strange person who always pulled my hair when I was endorsing, saying that my hair was too long. It was once cut into a round head and slowly let it grow longer, and it went round and round.I always trade a lot of snacks that I haven't seen for my homework, and I am happy, which is also a deal.As for his name I did not ask, because I have no interest in knowing.

I chose biological sciences, because all the people in the lab are amazing, at least they think they are, I met Professor Jiang when I was in college, the sun appeared in my life, and I met the professor for the first time When our class was selecting an assistant, he was a famous teacher in our school. He no longer taught undergraduates and only taught postgraduates, so the selected ones had a safe future. God finally favored me once, and the professor and I looked at each other. I slept with the counselor and said a few words before leaving.

In the end, I became the professor's disciple under the envious eyes of everyone. The professor was the first person I admired, and the professor's wife was the second.I hate the injustice of fate and am glad that I met them.In the summer when I graduated from my senior year, I finally met the object of my jealousy, the grandson whom the professor and his wife yearn for. I hate children, and I hate the children of the professor's family even more, especially the children who can act like a baby... These All things I never had.

I thought I would always hate him. This kid also has self-knowledge, and he may be in poor health and stay on the second floor all day. He basically can't meet me. But one day this thin and white dumpling came to me and said please Don't hate him, did he provoke him somewhere, and he even took a big bag of toffee for himself, saying that he would go home tomorrow, and hoped that he could see me every time he came here, I thought this kid It's so funny, obviously I don't want to talk to him, why do you still apologize to me.And this candy is so sweet that I can't forget the taste.

But after the child left, I began to think about the child, thinking that he always likes to eat sweets when eating, thinking of the way he and his wife played the piano, thinking of the way he slept in the study, thinking of him. He will always watch me and the professor work silently in the greenhouse...

Later, I took the initiative to ask the child’s name, Gu Yi~Gu Yi is really nice, many times better than my own, I look forward to his arrival every day, as expected, Gu Gu will always appear when I miss him the most By my side, we are no different from brothers. I like to teach him about various plants, tell him fairy tales, and watch him eat...I thought I could accompany Gu Chang like this Big, but at that time the professor recommended to me the opportunity to study and exchange in Germany, and even work there!How can I give up such a good opportunity, of course I am reluctant to give up Gu Gu, but Gu Gu is only ten years old, even if I have been outside for five years, he is only fifteen. I was lonely, but I found out that I was wrong when I was in Germany. I thought about him every day, even when he was crying. My life was too rigid before, and it took me five years to accept it. The fact that I am gay, I am afraid and thankful, thankful that although I like men, I have found my goal, thankful that my Gu Gu is still young, I have enough time to fight for my goal, my goal has never failed Pass!

That day I knew that I could finally see Gu Gu, he must have grown taller, he must remember me!But how can it be, how can it be!My Gu Gu actually took someone else's hand and didn't care about himself at all. That brat must have resorted to tricks. Of course he did. I went home drunk, but I'm not someone who gives up easily.