don't force me

Lin Yi stood on the balcony, watching Du Xuan's slender figure slowly walk out of the unit door.

It was already dark outside, the summer wind was hot and humid, but Du Xuan's back was extremely bleak, this child was thinner than when the college entrance examination just ended.Lin Yi heard from Lin Ting'an that Du Xuan went to Huisi to work as a teaching assistant right after the college entrance examination. Huisi took the second place in the college entrance examination and did a lot of publicity. Two big slips.

Lin Ting'an said that Du Xuan's work is from [-]:[-] am to [-]:[-] pm, and his work and rest time is more regular than that of the third year of high school.In fact, after four o'clock is the prime time for one-on-one. Many parents of junior high schools asked Du Xuan to be their tutor by name.Huisi offered Du Xuan a very good condition, as long as he is willing to accept, the remuneration can be increased.But Du Xuan rejected them all without even thinking about it.

"Why did you reject it?" Ma Jing asked at that time.

Lin Tingan said proudly: "Because he will give me a lecture after four o'clock."

……

What a good child, I have said more than once, "If Xiaoan is half as sensible as Xiaoxuan, I will be content", and have joked more than once, "It would be great if Xiaoxuan was my son", but now, this child is struggling Enter a narrow and dark alley and never turn back.

Lin Yi watched as Du Xuan walked near the green belt, then turned into a small garden and leaned against a big tree.Thick tree trunks and thick bushes in the small garden obscured him, but from his vantage point he could clearly see the unit door.Lin Yi sighed, he knew what Du Xuan was waiting for, just like he just promised "I won't do anything, but, can you let me wait for him".

Lin Tingan was taken out by Ma Jing to "talk", and he was silent all the way listening to his mother's various views on homosexuality in society.In fact, what is the use of saying this?Don't you know it yourself?What's the use of knowing it?Can we not be together?What's the use of not being together?Is it possible not to like it?

As long as you like it, what difference does it make if you are not together?

Lin Tingan didn't say anything, he was not used to arguing with his mother, under normal circumstances, he would play tricks with a playful smile, and he would be fine if he made his mother happy.If his mother is really angry, he will listen silently, and if he is wrong, he is wrong, and there is nothing to quibble about.

But that is not the case today.

Ma Jing said: "Xiao An, did you hear what mother said?"

Lin Tingan forced a smile, and said irrelevantly: "Do you know who my best friend is, except Du Xuan."

Ma Jing froze for a moment: "Zheng Ziyan."

"But Zheng Ziyan doesn't know about Du Xuan and I."

Ma Jing: "...What can this explain?"

Lin Ting'an forced a smile: "The buddies in my hometown knew about Du Xuan, but Zheng Ziyan didn't know because I didn't dare to let him know. I wasn't 100% sure that Zheng Ziyan would accept it, so I didn't tell him. But those people in my hometown... …They are too far away from me, I don’t really care if I accept it or not.”

Ma Jing: "So?"

Lin Tingan stood still and looked at his mother seriously: "So I actually know what you just said, but I still like him."

Ma Jing shook her head: "You haven't experienced it, how do you know you can bear it in the future."

"If you haven't experienced it, how do you know you can't bear it?"

"Do you have to hit the south wall to know how to look back?"

"But even looking back, I still like him."

Ma Jing: "..."

Lin Tingan: "I'm going back to my hometown, but I can't leave without saying hello, he will go crazy."

Ma Jing: "..."

Lin Tingan twitched the corner of his mouth: "One year later, I will fill in the volunteer club of Beihang University. At that time, you can't stop me, and you can't stop me."

Ma Jing frowned.

Lin Tingan: "Is it okay?"

Ma Jing was silent for a while, then turned around and took Lin Tingan home, every step was weighty.She had to admit that what Ji Dong said was right, Xiao An was no longer a child, he was eighteen, and he was an adult both mentally and physically.Although he does not have enough social experience, he has enough wisdom and sensitivity.I just don't know if he has enough courage and perseverance.

The mother and son walked through the parking belt of the community, walked around the garden, and when they walked into the door of the unit building, no one saw a boy standing behind a big tree, staring at Lin Tingan intently.

As if, this life can only see this one more time.

Lin Tingan didn't ask for his cell phone. Seeing his son walk into the room and close the door, Lin Yi turned to his wife and said, "How did you talk?"

Ma Jing shook her head and sat down in frustration: "What about you?"

Lin Yi smiled wryly: "Du Xuan, he... oh..."

"What should I do? Husband, what do you think should I do?" Ma Jing began to cry as she spoke.

Lin Yi said: "If, I mean, if, if Xiaoan is really such a person, what should I do?"

Ma Jing lowered her eyes and wept silently.

Ji Dong: "Or...we can deal with it coldly."

Ma Jing rubbed her eyes: "How to deal with it coldly?"

Lin Yi: "Du Xuan said that he can stay away from Xiao An, but he will wait for him. No matter what Xiao An decides in the end, he will wait for him."

Ma Jing bit her lower lip violently, and the corners of her eyes that had just been wiped clean were once again covered with mist.

Lin Yi: "His only condition is not to let Xiao An go. It will take time to re-adapt to the environment when he goes back. Besides, Xiao An is a borrower without school status. Anyway, it will not be counted in the enrollment rate, and neither will the teacher. It's not good for him to pay too much attention to him."

Ma Jing bit her lip and said nothing.

Lin Yi said: "I played an unreasonable and evil father once, but Xiaoxuan...has no intention of giving up at all."

Ma Jing twisted her hands together, struggling in a mess.

Ji Dong sighed: "Why don't we let the two children separate first, at least for a year, one year is enough for them to calm down, if it's still... let's talk about it."

Ma Jing: "Even if Xiaoxuan can do it without contacting Xiaoan, can your son do it?"

Lin Yi smiled: "As long as it's about Du Xuan, he can do it all."

So life went on like this. Ma Jing had enrolled Lin Tingan in a tutoring class as early as June, and Du Xuan had resigned from Huisi in order to keep her promise of "doing nothing".In order to keep him, the person in charge of Huisi increased his salary by [-]%.Du Xuan said shyly, "It's a little personal, and it really has nothing to do with salary."

The person in charge said regretfully, "I really don't want you to go."

Du Xuan: "Maybe we will have the opportunity to cooperate in the future."

After coming out of Huisi, he went to find a job in a fast food restaurant two streets away. He thought he was just standing at the counter serving a plate or something, but the store manager thought about it after seeing him put on the overalls and asked him to stand at the counter. The door acts as a lucky mascot.

"This face is wasted if you don't use it." The store manager said with a smile.

But Du Xuan doesn't really like this. He just wants to find a place to hide quietly, and he can see Lin Tingan's back walking through the street every day.

Sun Rui came back from playing around in Europe, and he sighed and said in amazement: "You can be so thin after a big vacation, you are also a strange person."

Du Xuan rubbed her face and forced a smile: "Is there, I don't think so."

Sun Rui snorted: "I guard a fast food restaurant, so much junk food every day, I ask you to eat more, and then lose weight... Tsk tsk tsk."

Sun Rui's "tsk" was so annoying that Du Xuan slapped him on the face: "Let's go quickly, it will delay my earning money."

Du Xuan went to work at 10:30, and sometimes he would rush to Sun Rui's house at [-]:[-]. Sun Rui opened the door for him with a yawn, and asked him to stand on the balcony and watch Lin Tingan walk out of the community to attend Huisi's cram school.

Sun Rui asked sleepily, "Do you want me to ask him out for you?"

Du Xuan shook her head: "I promised his father."

"Silly, if you don't let him know, it's over?"

Du Xuan: "I'm afraid I can't help it, there will be a second or third time after meeting..."

Sun Rui said: "I think his father is also quite funny. This kind of thing, you can either agree or disagree. What is he like? Test whether you are more affectionate than gold?"

Du Xuan: "He actually disagrees, and wants to take this opportunity to let us separate. If we can't persist, we will break up."

"You can still find it after you divide it. What's the difference?"

Du Xuan said slowly, "Maybe, he will find a girl."

"Bah!" Sun Rui snorted through his nose, "A gay is a gay, don't say anything like 'I don't like men, I only like you', doesn't it mean that he didn't know your man before he liked it?"

Du Xuan knew that Sun Rui was teasing her, so she smiled and asked, "Why, do you have a problem with gays?"

"Of course!" He pointed to the tip of his nose, "I'm so handsome, I've been by your side for more than ten years, yet you..."

Du Xuan slapped him on the face again, unable to listen to him at all.

Du Xuan emptied his Weibo again, saying that it was emptied, but in fact, there was only one sentence all the time: "If you talk about warmth and depression, the valley will become Xuan, and if you talk about hardships, there will be no leaves in the spring." The second stroke of sour prose and fake vinegar still hits the face after many years come.Now think about it, where there are so many hardships, we can always get over it.He wanted to write "Waiting for you to come back" in the note, but he thought it sounded too unlucky, so he wrote "Waiting for you to come back to see the peach blossoms bloom".He unfollowed all those messy bloggers, but followed a bunch of bloggers in the field of aircraft manufacturing. Although they couldn't understand them all, looking at pictures of airplanes can improve their aesthetic ability, so that Lin Tingan would not complain every day that he didn't understand Admire the smooth lines of the aircraft...

What is the first Weibo to post?

Du Xuan went to No. [-] Middle School with her mobile phone in her pocket. The school was already on holiday, and even the third year of senior high school got a two-week break.The teacher on duty at the door smiled when he saw Du Xuan: "What are you doing here? No one is there."

"Come and see, I'm a bit reluctant."

The teacher smiled and opened the electric door and let Du Xuan in.

Du Xuan went straight to the high school building. The final exam bulletin board at the corner of the third floor hadn't been removed yet. Du Xuan found Lin Tingan's in a bunch of photos:

Excellence in Mathematics

Excellence in Physics

Grade No.10

The photo should be taken by Lin Ting'an specially, because the background is the teaching building of Beihang Aviation Academy, and Du Xuan recognized it at a glance.In the photo, Lin Tingan doesn't have a smile, but his eyes are deep, and the corners of his eyes and brows are firm, but he looks calm and handsome.

Du Xuan took a step closer and chuckled. How many fans will this photo get him? I'm going to Bali.Du Xuan searched for a long time from the Baidu library, picked out a picture of Bali Island that he thought was the most beautiful, and then uploaded the picture and photo to Weibo, writing a line:

I owe you a "wave, wave", and you can calculate the interest from now on.

When sending, he set it to "visible only to himself".

Xiaoan, you have to work hard!

Lin Tingan was very steady, which made Ma Jing flustered.None of the situations she was worried about happened. Lin Tingan didn't fall into a slump, didn't strongly object, and even handed over the phone without saying a word.I go out on time every day and go to Huisi on time to go home on time. Even if I have something to do, I will borrow someone else's mobile phone to call home.After returning home, I should read and read, and I should eat and eat. I eat a bowl of rice three times a day.

But even so, he was still skinny.

Ma Jing knew that he was sad, and that kind of sadness could be seen from the corners of his mouth that he put down when he turned to pour a glass of water, from the momentary erratic eyes when he opened the English vocabulary book, from the fact that he lowered his head and put on those black pants. You can also see the hand that paused when Jordan shoes...

Although the boy was absent from this family, he seemed to be everywhere.

Even once, when Lin Tingan was eating fruit, he looked at the glass bowl containing sliced ​​watermelon in a daze. Ma Jing thought for a long time, and vaguely remembered that this bowl contained cherries. Xuan.

Ma Jing struggled more than once whether to throw away Du Xuan's notebooks on the bookshelf, out of sight and out of mind, but Lin Yi said: "You are going to throw away... the result is likely to throw away your son too. "

Ma Jing opened a biological notebook, and the various anatomical diagrams and structural diagrams drawn with colored pencils were extremely beautiful. Lin Tingan had been using it to review homework, but he was so stunned that he was reluctant to write a single word on it.It's just that there are countless notes in the notebook, and the handwriting on it, which looks like a drunk spider crawling out, contrasts sharply with the handwriting on the notebook.

Lin Yi said, "It's all painstaking efforts."

Ma Jing put the notebook back on the bookshelf, and the photo taken at the gate of Beihang University was placed next to the notebook, which was Lin Tingan's promise to Du Xuan.

For this promise, Lin Tingan is almost desperately studying.Ma Jing asked Ji Dong anxiously more than once: "Should I let Xiao An take a rest, he can't go on like this."

Ji Dong shook his head: "His heart can't rest."

Lin Tingan didn't dare to rest. Everything he saw was related to Du Xuan, and Du Xuan was everywhere on campus.His calligraphy works, his paintings, photos of him playing the piano, the promotional poster of him taking the No. Xuan's slender fingers held the handle of the cabinet door, and then he would slowly reach out to pull that handle as well, as if holding the hand in memory.

It's been a long time since I shook those hands, and I haven't kissed those lips for a long time. Lin Ting'an felt that he had to study, study, study, and squeeze his brains out, or he would definitely go crazy.

Du Xuan, I will work hard!

Du Xuan received a call from Du Jiancheng in mid-August. Du Jiancheng said, "I'm sorry Xiaoxuan, my father just made time recently. Let's travel to Seychelles to celebrate your success in the college entrance examination."

Du Xuan said lightly: "Thank you dad, can you discount it?"

Du Chengcheng choked for a moment: "Are you short of money?"

Du Xuan: "It's okay, I'm working part-time."

Du Jiancheng hurriedly said: "Discount discount! That's great, discount is good..."

Du Xuan sneered silently, discounting is of course fine, and things that can be solved with money are nothing.

Du Jiancheng said: "Xiaoxuan, you see that you still have to work part-time, how hard it is, you come to my father..."

"Dad, I'm eighteen." Du Xuan said, "It doesn't matter where I am."

After Zhou Man knew about this, he said disdainfully, "I'll change your name to Zhou Xuan someday, so that he will give up."

Du Xuan: "Why bother, maybe in two years he will have another child."

Zhou Man shook his head: "I heard that woman refused to marry him."

"why?"

"Because people found out that Du Jiancheng's little money is not called money at all by rich people."

"broke up?"

"Who knows." Zhou Man snorted, "It's just a matter of time."

Du Xuan was not interested in Du Jiancheng's marital status, but Zhou Man said: "Xiao Xuan, you should keep your eyes open when looking for a girlfriend in the future. Don't be fooled by them. Many young girls now... tsk tsk, very uncomfortable Respect."

Du Xuan was silent for a while: "Mom, what if... I don't get married in this life?"

Zhou Man: "Nonsense, how can a person do it alone?"

"Will you marry again?"

"I have you, and I'm not alone." Zhou Man patted his son on the shoulder, "Mother is happy when you are well."

Du Xuan gritted his teeth, and swallowed back the words that rushed to his lips. Xiao An was in the third year of high school, and he couldn't withstand a little storm, even a potential storm.