Salazar Slytherin's suicide note

I don't know why, my nose is sore, and I feel warm liquid from my eyes overflowing my eye sockets and dripping on your shoulders.I cried, and I don't know who the tears flowed for.If Rowena had been there, she must have been very angry—they could have been given to her as medicine.

Maybe they are there just to gain your sympathy.I also get this sympathy.God is fair, and those who can't give up anything can't change anything.

The same is true for feelings, we always have to lose something to get it: such as youth, such as tears, such as dignity.

Like life.

Godric Gryffindor, I will soon disappear from this world.Tell me, will such a sacrifice make you pity me?Will you come to me to fulfill your promise?

I have to admit, I hate you, but I always refuse to leave you.

You comfort me and reach out to wipe away my tears, just like before.But something has changed, though I don't understand what it is.All I can do is to regard these tears as my missing of you, soaking through your goose yellow clothes.

There are thousands of words in my heart that I want to say to you.I want to ask you, did you take her to the wide-banked Kadu River, did you always hug her so hard, did you see me on her face?But I didn't spit out a single syllable, and let the words that fell like snow freeze under my skin, cooling my blood that was boiling because of you.

Listen, the rhythm of the lyre sounds again.In the rhythm of the heartstrings, you kissed my lips.Your golden hair hangs over your eyes like sapphires set in gold.Your eyelashes can feel the blush of my cheeks, and you say:

"I won't let you stay away from me any longer."

Then I said to myself, this is the last time I will sigh for your oath.Godric Gryffindor, how can I not hate you?So many pains caused by you, those bitter evidences, those bleak marks, do you still need me to tell you one by one, do you still want me to use death to wake up your memory?

I already knew you would never be able to keep those promises, and my awakened desires couldn't wait for the future.So I hugged you and deepened the kiss.You have the taste of sunshine, the blazing temperature, and the feeling of suffocating me.

You looked startled, and called me softly: "Sar..."

Godric Gryffindor, I ask you why I always have you by my side for all the music in my life, but I am often the only one who suffers when it is hard.If I die here forever, will you miss me, or just rejoice that you don't have to witness my face fade?

Have I ever told you that your eyes shine in my mind like the moon in the darkness of a long night?It is so clear, but so far away; its brightness is so captivating, but it hurts my heart.

What more can I tell you?Everything that happened next, I will use magic to erase from your memory.You are to me a Polycrates reborn—a tyrant who robs me of body and soul and invades all that is mine.

But it doesn't matter, my body already belongs to you completely.Whatever is yours, whatever you want.But I am too timid, afraid that the relationship between us will be killed by you, afraid that you will disappear in my life.Without you, there is no future for me.I had to lie to you, had to maintain the superficial "friendship".sorry.

Godric Gryffindor, you are my destiny.No one understands you better than me, and we both understand that you are not suitable for marriage, it's just that you have been unwilling to admit it, it's just that you forced yourself and hurt me.

But my body was not satisfied by a chance, but the desire spread rapidly. Every time I see you, the joy and intensity of that night are lingering in my mind.And you don't know anything about all this, just like before, you hug me ambiguously, and I repeat the same mistakes again and again.What do you want me to do?I dare not tell you.

Every time I want to tell you everything, but because I am afraid of your departure, I always hesitate to say it.I can't afford to live without you.Because of this, I always wake up in the middle of the night, covering my face and crying.I dreamed that you accused me of deceiving you in such a clumsy way, and I also dreamed of you walking away after I confessed.

Every night.It wasn't until the day of your wedding that my nightmare was struck down by reality.

I've only heard of Emily's beauty and sweetness from you all this time, but I've never seen her.That morning, in the garden of your castle, I saw her clinging to your side, like a cub clinging to a blood relative.She is so simple and beautiful, too beautiful to be destroyed; her eyes are more transparent and agile than streams, like crystal stones shining under the light.

She has a happy smile etched on her face, just like yours.I saw you holding her hand and holding her waist, something suddenly became clear in my mind——

You don't give a damn about me, let alone try to figure out if I lied to you or if you fucked me.I was finally relieved, and the gloom swept away from my world.I went up and said to you:

"Happy wedding."

Then I took your hand, the hand that was never mine alone, and I said:

"Godric, your wife is lovely."

Lancelot's loyalty to Guinevere cannot be blocked by Elaine's wishful thinking, even if she paid for it with her life.Am I overreaching, Godric Gryffindor, tell me I'm Elaine?

And do you love her, your wife?

Another long night.That nightmare never came to my eyes again, but I still burst into tears.I think a lot, about you, about love.I don't know what love is, and I don't know whether the legend in the food and beverage chapter is true or not.But my body, my mind, and the tears in my eyes told me that what I was feeling was real pain.Only my sadness is real, I really feel it.

My life will soon be gone, Godric Gryffindor, do you understand now, do you understand a little, what pain I have been through?

I still don't understand what made you marry Emily.To me—you are a symbol to me.Because fate is a symbol, and love is a symbol, and neither of these I can understand.

And this pain, I will definitely get used to it, and I will never feel it again.The time that followed was a rare happy time in my life, my short and confused life.You intend to establish a school to train outstanding wizards to defend against foreign attacks.And I, Rowena, and that Helga who often comes to your house for afternoon tea are in charge of students with different personalities.