[Pride and Prejudice] Becoming Katherine Bennett

April 8

Today is a special day, I must record it.Today is my first cold war with Darcy.His face was serious and tense all the time, and he didn't speak when he saw anyone.I'm better than him, I just ignore him.

The whole family was frightened by us.The butler and the servants watched us all day without hesitation.After Georgiana came back from her friend's house and found out about the incident, "What's wrong with you" was written all over her face.

I really envy the ability to write this kind of thoughts on the face.

When it was time for dinner, Georgiana finally couldn't hold back, and asked quietly what happened between me and her brother.

It was really hard for her to answer this question.

I really didn't know how to tell her that our quarrel was because I wanted to sleep apart and Darcy didn't want to.

April 8

Another day of cold war today.

I was very angry at first, feeling that Darcy didn't understand me, but after being angry for a while, seeing him not talking to me, I began to feel sad.I knew I would be sad, but I didn't expect to be this sad.

In fact, whatever I think is my reason.We should sleep separately, everyone is like this.But after we got married, since the first night when I slept on his arm and he was afraid of waking me up, no one mentioned the matter of sleeping in separate rooms.

I've never slept in the same bed as anyone else, it's really, really uncomfortable.At the beginning, I couldn't fall asleep all the time. Darcy found out that I had insomnia and didn't know what was going on, so she insisted on staying up late with me every time.After a few days of adaptation, I didn't feel much better.

But right now it's so hot.Having said that, why is Darcy not afraid of heat at all, wearing a three-piece suit in summer and sweating very little?And if I wear a tulle skirt and go out for a walk, I will feel like I was fished out of the water?

True Son of Heaven.

The more I write, the more uncomfortable I get.I miss Darcy so much.To be honest, without him hugging me last night, I started to get used to it again. I suffered from insomnia for a long time, longer than the time I couldn't fall asleep because of the heat.

Human adaptability is terrifying.I've only had him for less than two months and I can't afford to lose him.

Decided, apologize to him tomorrow!Even if I still feel that he was wrong about this, I have to apologize.

We are going to live a lifetime, let me let him, there is no need to distinguish between winning and losing.

April 8

Darcy knocked on the door last night and told me that after he calmed down, he felt that he shouldn't be angry with me, because he didn't care about me enough.

I said did you spend two days to calm down.

He said no, he calmed down quickly, but then he became angry again when he saw me communicating with others normally but ignoring him.

I say with some pride that emotional stability is an excellent skill for adults.

He said he would have preferred me to lose my temper with him, or be more emotional.My attitude made him feel that I didn't care about him.

I just said that losing my temper is the right of an ignorant girl, because I know that someone is coaxing me, and I am a mature woman.

As a result, he said, let alone a mature woman, he would coax me the day I become an old woman.

I was very five and cried again.

Even those who didn't know Darcy didn't know that my tear ducts are so developed, I seem to be getting more and more hypocritical and artificial.

The philosophy of life is here again: Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

April 8

The family members are so funny. When Darcy and I appeared together, everyone showed a relieved expression, and their expressions were exaggerated.

Forgot to write yesterday.I apologized to Darcy as planned, and even though we had agreed, I wanted him to know that I was reflecting.

He was so cute and asked me why I was apologizing, and I had a ton of reasons to say, but looking at him, all I could say was "because I love you".

A certain straight man immediately cheered up, smiled, and walked with wind.

He is too coaxing.

Now to sum up the whole thing, I don't think we are all wrong, it's just that we think about things from different angles.

And my biggest feeling is that once again I feel that Darcy loves me more than I love him.When we were discussing how to solve this matter, he actually suggested that he move next door so that I could go to him whenever I missed him.

Meeting Darcy was the luckiest thing in my life, no, in Baosuo's previous life.

I decided not to be angry with him anymore, I just want to love him well.

April 8

Darcy has gone to London, and he has to deal with official duties that he has to deal with, which may take four or five days.If it wasn't for my uncle and aunt and Lizzie coming in two days, I would definitely go with him.

Before he left, I pretended to be cheerful in order not to let him miss me and delay his work, but as soon as his back disappeared, my face collapsed immediately.

This kind of face-changing technology, I would like to call it a unique skill.

As soon as he left, I was very disappointed, feeling that the whole manor was empty and gloomy.

The sky is no longer blue, the sun is no longer bright, the flowers are no longer in bloom, and even the chirping of birds makes me feel noisy.

I stared at it for a long time, and I really couldn't figure it out, Darcy has gone to London, why is it still in the mood to bark?

A day of moaning and frowning, without me realizing it.It was Georgiana who couldn't stand it anymore and told me that her brother would be back in a few days before I realized it.

Fortunately, I have a thick skin, and after only being ashamed for a while, I told her confidently that this is love!Have you ever heard of living like a year?

The smirk on Mrs. Annesley's face was almost unbearable when I was talking nonsense.

Suddenly I remembered a poem I read before, the title is "Teach Me How Not to Miss Her", I don't remember the exact content, but the general idea is that the person who wrote the poem sees clouds, light, fish, birds, whatever. When looking at the scenery of nature, it will be "Ah! How can I not miss her?"

and so.

Ah!

Teach me how not to miss him?

April 8

There is nothing to remember these days.I didn't do it on purpose, the main reason is that I really can't remember what I have done, I just remember thinking about Darcy all the time.

April 8

Uncles, aunts, and Lizzie are coming!hapiness!

They went on tour shortly after my wedding.At first their plan was to go to the Lake District, but then Uncle Gardner got stuck and changed to Pemberley, because Aunt Gardner had lived here for a long time before she married.

I was very happy to wait for them to come, but before they wrote again, saying that they would go to the Lake District as originally planned, and the trip would take more than a month.

Lizzie looked a little tanned, but she had a hearty smile all over her face.She enjoyed the trip very much and kept talking to me and Georgiana about how beautiful the Lake District was and how enjoyable it was.She also took out some bound letter papers. It turned out that she had written all the places she had been to on them, and some lakes, mountains and rivers had even drawn simple illustrations.

She shared generously, and both Georgiana and I watched it with gusto.Lizzie is cheerful, lively and intelligent, and her writing is as light-hearted and cheerful as her writing.

I suggested that she revise it and publish it as a book.

Lizzie was very shy, and said that there are many books introducing the Lake District on the market. Her descriptions are just for tourists, and most of them are about mood, so they cannot be used as a guide.

It took me some time to convince her that there are many people who are willing to read books that are half travel notes and half essays.Lizzie was still skeptical, but promised me that I would give it a try, and joked about what to do if it was published in the future and could not be sold.

I said boldly like a rich man, you don't have to worry about this, I will pay for it if I have money.

Lizzie said what if no publisher would publish it?

Like a little boy next to a rich woman, I said boldly again, you don't have to worry about this, Darcy bought a publishing house.

Uncle and aunt also enjoyed the trip.They were in very good spirits, with red faces.I deliberately observed their way of getting along today, and found that they are smart and considerate of each other, tolerant and considerate of each other in every way.

No wonder the relationship is still so good after so many years, they are the most loving couple I have ever seen in this era.

There is a typo in the last sentence, it should be the most loving couple besides me and Darcy.

In the evening I received a letter from Darcy, saying that he would be able to go home tomorrow.

April 8

Woke up before dawn this morning.

In fact, Darcy said in his letter yesterday that he would not be able to arrive at Pemberley until the afternoon, but I couldn't control it, and woke up very early, as if I could see him early, and couldn't fall asleep because of the excitement.

During the day, I took my uncle and the others to visit Pemberley. Since I couldn't name many places as fancy as Darcy introduced me, the housekeeper and Georgiana acted as tour guides.We went by carriage and visited many places in one morning.They were the same as I was when I first saw the scenery. They praised what they saw, and they boasted endlessly.

The housekeeper and Georgiana were a delight.

And I, as a person who has only been married into Darcy's family for two months, is actually very happy, and a lot of pride has sprouted in my heart.

Is this bad?

But I'm really proud, after all, they're talking about Darcy's family.

Again, it makes me happier to praise him than to praise me.

Overall, today's tour was a good one, and it would have been perfect if Lizzie hadn't asked me "what are you giggling about" three times.

Darcy (finally!) arrived home around four o'clock in the afternoon.

I am like a watchdog, waiting for him since noon.

At first, I waited in the lounge. If I was the only one at home, I would have rushed out the door long ago, but there were so many people in the room, I was a little embarrassed no matter how thick-skinned I was.But after one o'clock, I couldn't help but sit in the garden and wait.Then the battle line moved forward again, to the edge of the lake.Then move forward and move forward and move forward...

In short, I was standing at the gate of the manor when Darcy appeared in my sight.

I like a book very much called "The Moon and Sixpence". There are many popular words and sentences in it, but my favorite sentence seems to be less famous: "The sun is shining and the weather is fine. I have never At this moment, I strongly feel the joy of life in my heart."

I was really, really happy to see him.

April 8

Went to see Lydia today with Elizabeth, just the two of us, without telling aunt or uncle.

I asked Darcy to help me hide the itinerary, so he stayed with my uncle and the others for a day, fishing and visiting relatives and friends. After my aunt came back, she praised Darcy to me for a long time, especially about her childhood friends when they met Darcy. reaction.

If you use Internet language, it means that my aunt's former friends were all stunned.

Lydia lived not far from Pemberley, but not near either, about seven miles away.I didn't provide Lydia with a carriage, because I was afraid that she would be lonely and wander around, and because I didn't want her to go to Pemberley as a guest.

If Pemberley were my house, I would make Lydia a guest, after consulting Darcy and Georgiana.

But compared to me, the newlywed, Georgiana, who has lived and grown here for more than ten years, has more right to speak.

Georgiana knew about Lydia and Wycombe, and it was Lady Catherine who wrote to her, in order for her to persuade her brother who was "insane".

The poor child was so frightened that he cried for a day, and his face turned pale from crying.I was so distressed, it took me a long time to coax her to smile again, and she was no longer disturbed by memories.

Originally, I really didn't care about Mrs. Catherine scolding me, and I didn't want to bother with her, but she really made me angry that she involved Georgiana, and I also looked down on her.

Under Darcy's arrangement, Lydia's life is really good.

Lizzie was worried that the servant didn't care about her before, but after meeting her, she found that Lydia had gained weight.In the past two months, she lived very comfortably, and of course it was boring, but it may be that my previous fierceness frightened her, and she didn't dare to show any rebellious emotions.

I chose a young lady for her to be her governess, and to accompany her all day.Miss Dean is the daughter of a gentleman in her forties.Her mother is Mrs. Reynolds' sister, and her life experience is relatively miserable.She comes from a good family and received a good education when she was a child.But after her mother died, her father, on the advice of his mistress, married her off to a violent widower who would help his career.Miss De'an was very brave, and after she escaped, she took refuge in her aunt, and her aunt came forward to beg old Mr. Darcy for her, who settled her greedy father.

Of course I chose Miss Dean after consideration.Miss Dean has a very good personality, she is grateful to Darcy, and there is a big difference in age from Lydia.But what I didn't expect was that she was an old mother's education method for Lydia, and she cared for her so much that it broke my heart.She herself knows things and knows how to advance and retreat, and gets along day and night, constantly influencing Lydia in a subtle way.

Under her education, when I saw Lydia the last few times, the feeling of willfulness, selfishness, and frivolity in her before has been relieved a lot, and she has gradually become stable and gentle.She even hugged Lizzie for the first time when we were leaving today, considering she never had time for her sisters before.

But she didn't hug me.I don't think she will ever forget how cold and unfeeling I was to her back then.

Lizzie also advised me not to feel bad, saying that Lydia would appreciate me in a few years.

I'm actually fine.

I told Darcy about it at night, and he also comforted me, telling me not to take it to heart.

I told him that I was sad and needed a hug from my little brother to get better.

He heard a black question mark on his face.

What an antique!

……

April 10

Met Tina at a banquet.I didn't expect to meet her, and I didn't know how to react for a while.And she turned a blind eye to me and walked over as if I was not in front of her at all.

I can understand her mood, and I don't blame her at all.

Thinking in another way, if I were her, I would definitely not be able to avoid anger.

This has nothing to do with being sensible.No matter how rational people are, they all have an emotional part.

I'm going to say I'm not upset it's definitely fake.I like Tina very much, and I really regard her as a friend, not to mention that she once told me her thoughts on my works so earnestly, and enthusiastically gave advice on my writing.

When I was at Jane's house a few days ago, Alma was also very cold to me.Jane told me that Tina had been seriously ill before, and Alma was close to her, so she was a little unhappy with me, and it will be fine after a while.

If it was before, I must have felt that it was all my fault with trepidation, and I should do something quickly to please them.

But now, although I am sad and regretful, that's all.

On the way home, Darcy saw my emotions, at first he tried to persuade me, but after persuading me for a while, he found that I was still unhappy, so he changed to kissing me.

The cunning gentleman, since I observed how delighted I was when he kissed me, has almost made a magic weapon of it.And I found that when he hugged me tightly and kept kissing me, I would indeed forget all my troubles, and I often asked him to kiss me.

Tool man hammers.

Darcy accidentally said a melon today.

I only found out after listening to him that Earl Gordon and Willard had a miserable life when they were young.Their father had been hanging out with a mistress since they first got married, and when their mother was seriously ill and lay dying in bed, he took her home and held the wedding immediately after she died.

The stepmother was said to be very scheming, and she fascinated the old earl.After she became a regular, she sent her original partner's eldest son to the battlefield within half a year, and then drove Willard into a corner, and went to Africa to find a way out.

However, she and the old earl never expected that the two sons were better than the other. Whether they went to the battlefield or to Africa, they not only came back alive, but also accumulated huge capital for themselves.

Of course, the stepmother's ending was not good. Not long after the old earl died, she went with him. It is said that she missed her husband so much.And her illegitimate son, who later had an identity, went earlier than her.

This melon made my jaw drop.Darcy was also surprised to find that I didn't know.

He was probably thinking that Willard hadn't told me.

In fact, Willard once wanted to tell me, but I refused.

April 10

The shocks of the past two days are really one after another.

When I went to see him in Darcy's study today, he was not there.I walked over to look for a book to read, but in the corner of the desk, I read a book that I had never thought of.

Darcy probably didn't want me to see it, so he covered it with paper.But this fool was so neatly covered that it aroused my curiosity.

I opened the paper and found that it was a thread-bound book with "Thousand Characters" written on the cover.

To be honest, I'm in a mess right now, thinking wildly all day.

Darcy what does that mean?Did he find out?

what do I do?Do you want to take the initiative to talk to him?

April 10

Darcy probably knew I had seen the book.

When he was sleeping yesterday, he asked me if I could teach him Eastern characters.It took me a long time, so long that I thought he had fallen asleep, before I said hello softly.

Then this morning, he held up "Thousand Characters" and asked me how to write "I love you" in oriental characters.

Very well, this question is very western, and it successfully eased my emotions.

I told him that this book is for children's enlightenment, but he couldn't find this sentence after digging through the book.In addition, Orientals pay attention to the beauty of subtlety, and they rarely use such straightforward words if they don't come here.

He said how orientals express love.

I struggled for a long time, and among the countless words and sentences, I chose "a couple for a lifetime" to answer him.

In the end, he might be dissatisfied that I was too calm, so he threw another bomb and asked me how to pronounce my oriental name.

My mind was also pumped, and I said "Lin Nana" one by one.

He repeated, "Innana?"

With the patience of two lifetimes, I first answered his stupid questions about how to say this in Eastern dialect and how to say that in Eastern dialect, then taught him some short words and sentences, and then continued to correct his pronunciation.

I don’t know if he’s tired of learning, but I’m tired of teaching anyway, like teaching a husky to be a human being.

But it's good to be tired, I don't have time to worry about "how did he know" all day.

April 10

When I was about to go to bed last night, Darcy hugged me and suddenly said to me in Chinese, "Lin Nana" in the usual tone of saying good night.

"One pair for life people".

"Lin Nana, I love you".

His pronunciation was so funny, it made me laugh, and I cried all night, sobbing.

I was also quite funny, crying and talking to him.

I said, Darcy, I love you too.