[Conan Doujin] Let's become smaller together · Part 1

The author has something to say: _(:з」∠)_I think the reason I feel sorry for Ai-chan is not that she fell in love with someone who was destined not to be together, or her family was ruined or anything else.

It's that she has lost her direction in life at this moment, because of various reasons, she gave up her natural talent.She is already living groggy like a walking dead, she has no goal, she has no sustenance... The Miyano Shiho who once quietly bloomed with her own light was discarded on the beach like a dusty pearl and was washed away by the tide, no? Because no one noticed that it wasn't wiped, but that she couldn't find a reason to keep shining.

Love is not everything in life, and a life without ideals is simply impossible to look directly at.

When Miyano Shiho in a white coat stood in the laboratory, it was the time when she was the most beautiful and had the most "existence", even if she was researching for the organization.Too bad we can't see it anymore.

Who is to blame?

When Beethoven stopped pressing the keys, when Van Gogh dropped his paintbrush, and when Einstein left the laboratory, will the world still be as colorful as it was before?

Who is to blame?

—————by the author who moaned without illness

The only thing that appreciates whiskey is also here. He is always only obsessed with that thing, and he loves it with all his enthusiasm and life.

Messy equations and experimental data, dosage ratios, completely incomprehensible words and chemical formulas, everyone looked at them in front of the computer for a while, and immediately lost interest in these things, and left the room one after another, leaving Huiyuan alone In this extremely dim room, there was only one light source.

At any time, this room is a complete dark room.

There are many chemicals that need to be stored in a dark environment, and some long reactions also require high light.No matter the size of the laboratory in the organization, there are two suites, light and dark, and they are even equipped with light-sensitive protectors. Once the light exceeds a certain value, the light-shielding panel will be lowered immediately to protect the medicine.

However, it is impossible for Dr. Ali's family to have such good conditions, so they can only make do with manual regulation.

Although it looks very depressing and pitiful.

If it wasn't for more than ten years of living in such an environment, no matter who stayed here for a few days, they would become irritable and restless. Those with the right personality would be fine, but those with the wrong personality might be driven crazy.

So, sure enough, she is a shark that is only suitable for living in the deep sea.Forcibly floating on the surface of the sea and trying to live a life that is not suitable for you will only bring destruction to yourself and others.Hui Yuanai quickly browsed through the documents expressionlessly, feeling a faint sense of boredom in his heart.

She thought she would adapt to the life of ordinary people, and she thought she would adapt well, after all, she didn't feel any discomfort or rejection, did she?

But it wasn't until she saw APTX4869's information again that she realized that the so-called ordinary life was just an illusion.

During this period of time, except for the time to develop the antidote, she seemed to be living comfortably, but in fact, she was completely wasting her life aimlessly.She couldn't find anything she was interested in, and she could only force herself to wake up by yawning every day when she was drowsy, and she was not interested in taking care of or playing with the children when she watched the children messing around, she just stood by and calmed down. It is like watching someone else's life through someone else's eyes without any fluctuations at all.

She thought it was because she stayed up late every night to research the antidote, so she was exhausted...

It turned out that it was just because she, like whiskey, had no way to separate research from her life.

Studying them is as natural as eating, breathing and drinking.You can't feel it when you have it, but you can't breathe when you lose it.

Her groggy, not because of fatigue, but because of 'lack of oxygen'.

Back then, she also rushed to the United States for research at a young age, and then gave up all the honors and resources at her fingertips and went back to Japan... Her obsession with research is no less than whiskey... It's just that she has Sensible enough to control herself, enough to keep her alive like a walking dead after losing her research, and to lie to herself that 'it's actually good'.

This is not good at all!

It wasn't until she saw APTX4869's information that she deeply realized that she was so vividly 'alive'!

She could feel a vibrant heart beating in her chest, she could feel every drop of blood in her body bubbling, she could feel her brain be a little delirious with excitement, she could feel the blood in her body Every cell is waking up at this moment, flooded with feelings of happiness and joy!

... She wants to study.

She wants to know why these are all, why this kind of drug and that kind of drug have completely different effects when used alone, and why they can produce an ending different from any of the previous possible outcomes when they are used together; she wants to know something deeper and more Yes, she wants to explore the true meaning of this world, she wants to know the effect of those wonderful changes under various conditions; it only takes one drop of medicine to change the world, and what effect will it have if you add a little more; The elements, the structure will be two completely different things if the structure is changed a little...

She doesn't want to grow up and die slowly like an ordinary person who knows nothing but only works to earn money and raise children. She wants to study. Besides APTX4869, she still has many questions to study!

Such as the secrets of cancer cells, such as the rules of organic matter, such as...

She doesn't want to give up.

After solving the organizational problems, she still wants to go back to Stanford to continue studying her biomedicine and chemistry, and she still wants to go to the graduate school to continue studying those topics...

The screen still shimmered peacefully as before, but the little girl in front of the computer buried her head in her arms, crying silently.

For her stupid decision before, for the future she expected.

For her bone marrow... research.