[L Yue] Give me a forever lie

——Yakami-kun's actions somewhat puzzled me.

I showed him my novel as a test, and he just smiled nonchalantly and put the computer aside.

"Ryuzaki, the real case is not like that in the mystery novel. If you use this incident as a prototype, the story will definitely become boring."

"It's just based on the event itself," I said. "The conclusions made by the police have nothing to do with me. I am just responsible for thinking of a story."

"What's next?" he asked, crossing his arms. "Have you already figured out who the murderer is?"

"That doesn't tell you what to do next," I said.

The victim, Otoharada Kuro, is a wanted criminal.Although he doesn't seem to have any connection with Yue Jun in reality, there is nothing impossible in the novelist's pen.Of course, I am more concerned about the actual case.

After that, I took advantage of Yue-kun's absence—he said he was out for school—sneaked into his room and investigated the computer.

It would be an invasion of privacy for the police to do this, but I don't feel guilty about what I did.I hope to find something concrete to dispel Yue-kun's doubts.

On his frequently connected blog, there are just some interesting logs... I couldn't help but read on.He wrote down everything that happened when we lived together, but mixed with many false records.For example, the time we met was actually winter rather than summer.It's November, and I just want to be in my room on a snowy day, so naturally those conversations don't take place on the balcony, but in the living room.

The art of lying is to provide enough detail so that it looks real enough—as a novelist, I know this well.I'll also make things up in this story and add details to make it seem real.

That blog didn't look like anything special, but I noticed some hidden code, and there seemed to be room for some data behind it.

——Is it information?I thought subconsciously.But I didn't have time to unlock the code, and there was the sound of the door opening behind me.

I turned around, and Yuejun was standing at the door, looking at me with a half-smile.

"Ryuzaki, this is not good."

"Aren't you at school?"

Yuejun flashed the phone in front of me: "If someone hacks my website, it will automatically send a Mail to my mailbox."

I hesitated for a while, then nodded: "I admit it. I was wrong to read your website."

"But you don't mean to regret it at all." He said dissatisfied.

"...I want to know whether Yue Jun is trustworthy. Why did he appear at the scene of the incident, and why did he run away from home?"

He smiled bitterly and said, "Are you sure to investigate to the end? Is this an occupational disease?"

"Just wanted to know the truth."

"It's okay to tell you." Yuejun sat in front of the computer, typed a few times on the keyboard, and I saw another screen appeared on the computer... it was the internal system of the Japanese public security.I bit my finger and watched him retrieve a case record ten years ago...

"The Murder Case of Otoharada Kuro..."

"Yakami Soichiro" was written on the arresting police officer.

"I always remember that incident." Yuejun leaned back in the chair slowly, his voice was emotionless. "In order to arrest the prisoner, my father didn't come home at the most important moment... Since then, I have been estranged from him and almost never spoke to him again."

"Still, do you still dream of becoming a police officer?"

He turned back sullenly: "I didn't say that!"

"Okay, don't be angry." I said.What makes people suddenly lose control is often the weakness of the heart.

Yue Jun is so smart, he must have noticed it too.So he turned his face away, and continued on as if nothing had happened: "Then, a month ago, that guy was released on parole from prison. I heard that when he was arrested, he threatened to kill his father... I know That guy will definitely not let it go, but, father is a policeman after all, he can't be concerned about his own safety."

The first time I saw Yagamitsu showed sadness and vulnerability, a bit like he was 17 years old.I used to think that Yuejun was the kind of person who is extremely rigid and fragile, but it seems that he is not the case.I suddenly softened my heart and wanted to touch his head.

"Anyway, I can't convince my father...but if something happens to him, Shoyu will be sad too. In the end, I can only investigate that Otoharada Kuro by myself, but when I found him...it became like that The situation. To be honest, I don't know what to do."

"And what are you doing now?"

"It's all about finding out the truth," he told me.

I later asked Yue Jun what happened to those blog records.He said that it was just a kind of forgery, because he escaped from home and always needed to give a cryptic explanation.Another part of it, he said, was honoring a peaceful day-to-day that he would never return to.

That event a decade ago and the more recent one have wrought the same damage.Life is a never-ending war.Even if he flees now, that war has left its mark.It's like PTSD.Constant flashback, constant repetition, constant pain.The more sensitive people are, the more difficult they are.

Writing these words, I can't help but think, if a reader reads this novel and Yuejun's diary at the same time, which one will they take seriously?It's not a battle of truth and lies, it's about which lie keeps deceiving.

After I left the orphanage, I occasionally recalled some things there.

I remember the ringing of church bells, the crying of children, the parade of officials.But what I remember most is the cake prepared for me every October 10st.

Now that no one buys cakes for me, I'll buy them myself.Pay over the phone and have it delivered to your door.

Yuejun took my job. He decides what we eat and what time we go to bed.I obeyed his arrangement, just like I obeyed the arrangement of the orphanage back then.I may have never left that place, and there is always a part of me that keeps repeating the mechanical and cold commandments of that time.

People always obey their own memory.

Since Yuejun moved in, I allowed him to enter my space and transform me.He and I lied to each other about many things, but in the deepest part of our souls we were honest with each other.

I wanted to tell him that none of this was a mistake.It brings us together.

I want to ask him to give me a forever lie and also give me a life.Give me a piece of scorching sun, but also give me a piece of shade.

I want to ask him to give me everything.