strange love

This weekend I finally understood what it means to open the door to a new world.

After being popularized by Lu Youyou about what a lily is, I realized how rich the associative ability of nerds is.I really didn't expect that the animation I watched for the first time after junior high school, I thought it was a childish children's film, but unexpectedly covered such heavy-hearted elements as Yushou Lily.

"Fortunately, I've already finished watching it. If you had told me this early in the morning, I wouldn't know if I would be able to read it." I felt that I was very shocked, and planned to stay away from Lu Youyou again.

The animation that a simple person like Ling Chuyi likes actually looks like this in the eyes of others. I must never let her know.

"Oh, don't say that, it's obviously very good-looking. It will come out in November soon, the fourth season will come out, let's chase it together!"

"I'm going to bed, bye!"

On Sunday night, I didn't plan to waste any more time with her. After turning off the computer, I read a book for a while, and fell asleep until the next morning.

The life of the school has not changed much. In the first semester of the first year of high school, the atmosphere of the whole class is still in a state of adjustment and relaxation.The small circle has just formed and stabilized, and there is no tension in the study.

It has been about two months since I entered school, and there are two major events in November for the students of our school.One is that the midterm exam is coming, and the other is the autumn sports meeting.

The sports meeting is after the midterm exam, so the first thing to solve is the exam problem-the exam problem of the first year of junior high school.

After the announcement of the exam date that day, Ling Chuyi has been in a very nervous state, and even ate less lunch.

"Don't eat any more?" She only took a few mouthfuls of the food on the plate, and didn't move much from her favorite small ribs.

Ling Chuyi pushed the plate in front of him and shook his head, with obvious sadness on his small face.Like a little rabbit with drooping ears, looking downcast.

"You have eaten very little these days, is it because you have an exam?"

The exact words made Ling Chuyi's face turn red. She glanced at me, then nodded at last, and said sadly, "I'm a little scared..."

No one would blame her for her failure in the exam, so her fear should not be due to being blamed by others, but more of her own reasons.

"Why are you afraid?"

My question was not tactful at all, a bit like a bully who nakedly exposes other people's wounds.

Ling Chuyi lowered his head and said softly: "I, I'm stupid, I always fail the exam..."

"Let me ask you first, did anyone blame you for failing the exam before? A classmate, a teacher or your father?"

Ling Chuyi hunched her body, as if she wanted to shrink herself into a ball, and the shaking of her head was probably the only courage she had now.

"So, what you are afraid of is not being scolded for failing the exam, right?"

Her shoulder-length hair fell down to hide her expression, but I saw her nod.

"You say you're stupid, and in fact, you're terribly afraid of that fact. You're afraid of exams, you're afraid of failing, because that's the proof you're stupid, isn't it?"

In the lively cafeteria hall, I got a soft and poor girl to cry.This is by no means the behavior of a good boy, and it is by no means something to be proud of.

She sat across from me, her shoulders trembling slightly, her head bowed deeply, and big drops of tears fell down.

I don't know why, but my heart also feels a little sour.

She has come here all these years. Compared with others, she may understand and care more about the fact that she is not smart enough.Even if others didn't blame her for this... No, maybe it was because others didn't blame her, and it proved that she didn't have any expectations of her, and she had already accepted and recognized this fact, and this was what hurt her the most.

"Are you really stupid?" I asked her, but what I heard was her whimpering.

"I'm not you, so I don't understand how you see yourself. But in my eyes, you are not stupid. In fact, can the so-called stupid be measured by grades? What does stupid mean? You Maybe your grades are poor, maybe your studies aren’t good enough, but it just means you’re not good at it.”

The sobs on the other side had turned into sobs. I handed over a handkerchief, but she hesitated for a while before taking it.

"Thank you... thank you."

I have long known the fact that she is a crying bag, and those eyes that seem to get wet all the time always make me do things against my will.

"What was your average score before? Which subject was the highest and which was the lowest?"

Ling Chuyi carefully wiped his tears with my handkerchief, as if afraid of getting it dirty.My question probably wasn't an easy one for her to answer. It took a long time before I heard her weak voice say: "Last, last time the average score was around 48 or [-] points. The highest score is Chinese. [-] points, the lowest is mathematics, only nine points."

I think that if the judgment that she is different from ordinary people is made based on these results, it must be the fault of the teacher.

"You shouldn't get such a low score." I said to her very seriously: "I have seen your homework, and I have also tutored your homework these days. You shouldn't have such a low score."

Ling Chuyi flinched for a moment, then looked up at me.There were still tears on her face, her eyes were red from crying, she looked more like a little rabbit.She looked at me with a look of fear and expectation, and she didn't know what she was thinking.

"Yes, but I work hard every time..."

There is no shortage of hardworking people in this world. The key to success lies in how hard you work.I thought about it, and said to her: "There are still two weeks before the exam, and I will help you with tutoring every night. Think about what goal you want to set, and we will achieve it together."

Ling Chuyi's already big eyes opened slightly because of my words, but I still couldn't see the whites of her upper and lower eyes, which shows how big this guy's pupils are.Those eyes are lovely enough, and I realized once again that she is very good-looking.

"Eh, really, really? Then, then, I think, if the average score can reach forty points, it will be fine..."

Forty points?

"Do you know why you didn't do well in the exam?" Her requirements were too low. 40 points was what she should have gotten. Now is the time to work hard. Shouldn't the requirements be higher? "It's because the goal is too low. I'll give you [-] points, no, let's start with [-] points. The goal of our efforts this time is to score an average of [-] points."

We only started to arrange biology classes in the second semester of senior high school, so the subjects of the exam were Chinese, mathematics, English, physics plus chemistry, and liberal arts. There were five exams in three days.In order to cater for the college entrance examination, the test scores are also set according to 150 points each for Chinese, mathematics, and English, and 300 points each for comprehensive literature and comprehensive science.

Now is the first midterm exam in my entire high school career. The scope of the exam is actually quite narrow. In addition, there are actually only two subjects in science and comprehensive science. It is a time when it is easy to lose points but easier to score.

I feel that it is very humane to set a goal of fifty points for her.

As soon as Ling Chuyi heard the target, he shrank his neck, with a troubled look on his face, "I'm afraid I can't..."

"Isn't it okay to say something before it starts? Let's just say it like this. I'll go to your house after dinner in the evening. Now let's go back to the classroom."

"it is good……"

I never thought I would be such a tough person, most of the time, I probably think it's a nostalgia.When I reacted with hindsight, a little bit of regret and anxiety rushed up violently.

I have indeed found that I am more and more prone to lose control in front of Ling Chuyi.It doesn't matter if it's because you can't maintain a normal mind, or if the mask of a good boy is broken, sometimes you are too rude.Just like this time, if someone else came to me to complain, I would probably use very unnutritious words to comfort her and let it go.At least he will not say such words that expose people's scars.

Maybe I wasn't such a good kid after all?

Because looking at Ling Chuyi, sometimes I really can't bear to bully her.If her wet eyes, timid expression, and weak voice were all because of me, it would be a very pleasant thing.

After all, it looks good.

But that being said, when this idea came up, it still hit me quite a bit.Could it be that I am friends with her just to bully her?

The guilt that had been slightly reduced became stronger again.

I think I should treat her better, after all, we are friends.