Young Sovereign, he wants to die every day

Yan Xubai felt that his body was very heavy, and his eyes were too sleepy to open, just like hanging a heavy pendant.He moved his fingers slowly, and then slowly raised his eyes halfway.

This feeling is really familiar.

He thought silently in his heart, what time is it now, and why did he sleep until now.Waiting for the body to wake up, the weakness of the limbs is really uncomfortable.He wanted to extract the spiritual energy from the sea of ​​qi so that his body could recover faster.But it was only after this movement that he realized that the sea of ​​qi was empty and his spiritual roots were weak, so he might not be much better than ordinary people.

Yan Xubai saw a faint light coming from the window, is this morning or night?It should be in the evening. The courtyards in Yanmen Villa are all facing south. The light in this direction should be the setting sun.

The decorations on the window sills were what Yan Xu had seen day in and day out, but now there was a lot of dust on them.

Sitting up, the brocade quilt that covered his body slowly slipped off, and he found that his clothes were intact, and it was still his favorite dark uniform from before, embroidered with silver silk dragon patterns.He raised his hand to touch Yingluo on his neck, and it was still there.

Yan Xubai got out of bed, supported by the thin spiritual energy and walked to the bronze mirror, the reflected appearance did not change, the face was immature, with delicate eyebrows and eyes, and a small mole at the end of the eye would not be noticed if one didn't pay attention.

The face has not changed, but it still looks a little different.It seems that there is less greed, anger, ignorance and resentment, and the whole person is painless, harmless, happy and sad, just like a stone statue in a temple.

In addition to his face in the bronze mirror, there is also a faint light.Yan Xubai glanced back, and saw a familiar lotus lantern lit by his bedside, the flame inside was dim, but he didn't intend to extinguish it.

Without paying too much attention to why the lamp was turned on during the day, he walked slowly towards the door, and with a slight push, the double carved wooden door creaked open.He saw two teenage disciples in the courtyard, wearing dragon pattern shirts, looking innocent.The two of them didn't expect someone to come out of the room, they were taken aback for a moment and then ran away wow.

There are a lot of fallen leaves in the courtyard, which looks like the late summer and early autumn in my memory.In the setting sun, when the ginkgo leaves begin to fall, they are golden, and now many of them are spread on the stone tables and benches, like blankets.

Yan Xubai walked to the courtyard, took a few steps under the tree, picked up a fallen leaf from the table, and glanced at it casually.I just think, it's really beautiful, why is this color so dazzling, it's already dry and leaves the trunk, but it's beautiful and full of vitality.I was fascinated by watching it, and thought about it again, should I do something, or do nothing and go back to sleep?

Just as he was hesitating, a call sounded behind him.

"Hello, Mr. Zeng Bo."

Yan Xubai turned his head and saw a young man.Behind him, a girl with a fluffy ponytail with a familiar face was holding a seven or eight year old girl with downcast eyes.As for the other people in the courtyard, they were several disciples of the Yan Clan, all kneeling in the courtyard built by Xiantan.

Looking at the young man in front of him, he felt that his face was very similar to Ming Huai.Thinking that he just called himself "Uncle Zeng", I felt a little sad, but I still asked hopefully, "Is Ming Huai still there?"

The boy raised his head and said, "Great-grandfather has been immortal for many years."

Yan Xubai felt an indescribable feeling, he didn't know whether it was sadness or loss.

"what's your name?"

"Yan Xiuxian."

Yan Xubai didn't say any more, just sat down slowly, looked at Yan Xiuxian, the large group of disciples, and the little girl beside him, and asked, "Is she..."

Yan Minghuai's eyes fell on the girl with the ponytail, and some light flashed in her eyes unconsciously.

However, Yan Xiuxian pointed to the younger girl and said, "This is the daughter of the Qing family in Shangyu, sent to Yanmen for training."

Yan Xubai glanced at it casually, and saw that the girl was very shy, with a delicate and lovely appearance, a bit like the second young lady back then.

"Why are the children from the Chize water environment sent to Yanmen?" Yan Xubai asked, only to hear Yan Xiuxian reply respectfully: "The great-grandfather ordered that he would take care of Shangyu Qing's family, and now the Chize water environment also belongs to Yan. Door."

Hearing Yan Xiuxian's answer, Yan Xubai only felt that the times had changed, and that Taoism had changed a lot during the time he discarded.Looking at this child Yan Xiuxian, with a calm demeanor between his brows, he seems to be the current suzerain of the Yan family.

After thinking about it, he fell into deep thought again, and when he came back to his senses, Yan Xiuxian was looking up at him, holding a letter in his hand, with aura floating on it, and the paper was as new as ever.

"Yanmen is now... that's all." He didn't ask the half sentence hidden behind, he sighed and stretched out his hand to pick up the letter, only to see that it was written on it: "My brother's letter." The handwriting was Yan Minghuai's, but it was much more vigorous. .

"Uncle Zeng, this is a letter from your great-grandfather. After my father passed away, I kept it."

Yan Xubai nodded, and asked again: "Xueyongyuan, is it still there?"

Yan Xiuxian said: "Following the orders of my great-grandfather, Xueyong Garden has been sealed and is not allowed to enter from generation to generation. If there is a day to unseal, it can only be unsealed by Uncle Zeng yourself."

"Okay. You go down."

The people kneeling in the courtyard did not move, knowing that Yan Xiuxian got up, bowed to Yan Xubai, and said: "Xiuxian will leave."

Everyone slowly exited the courtyard, Yan Xubai sat alone in the courtyard for a long time before getting up.Holding the letter in his hand, he walked towards Xueyongyuan according to his memory.What you see along the way seems to be the same as it was a hundred years ago, except that these sunset ginkgo trees are much taller.

After entering Xueyong Garden, he was attracted by the scene here. The sun was setting and the powerless appearance only made people feel uncomfortable.When he saw Xueyongyuan under the glow of the setting sun, the aura of enchantment was still the same as yesterday, as if it hadn't changed in a hundred years.Looking at the place where the spiritual light gathers, there is a snow-white long sword, and the decoration on the sword is obviously not Yanmen's.

Yan Xubai approached, lightly stroked the patterns on the sword, stayed for a while, and then walked towards the main hall.The barrier maintained by the long sword did not stop Yan Xubai, but opened a crack so that people could enter smoothly.When he stepped into the hall, the memories that had been sealed in his mind emerged again.

The glowing stardust was evenly scattered in the hall, and it was extremely dark here, but because of these lights, Yan Xubai felt at ease.

He walked softly in the hall, not wanting to disturb the sleeping fragments.Finding a corner, he sat down slowly, his fingers touching the carpet on the floor, as if it was the same as before.

When he sat down, he realized that these stardust were all moving towards Yan Xubai. He had no expression on his face, but he said softly: "I'm not afraid of the dark." Seeing that it was Yan Minghuai's handwriting, he began to read it carefully.

"Brother is well. I don't know when he will wake up. The last time my brother fell asleep, there was still my grandfather. My grandfather gave me ten years to wait for my brother to wake up. I can wait. But this time, I don't think I can wait." Elder brother. I was already in my eighties on the day I wrote this, and I am really old. I don’t know who will hand this letter to you in the end. I already have a child named Yan Si, and I will soon have a grandson. ..”

"Brother probably doesn't remember it. He insisted on going to Dingling that day, saying that he wanted to pay homage to the ancestors. I waited outside the tomb, but...the subsequent change of dragon spirit made me fully understand the purpose of his trip. It's not that I haven't seen this scene before, it was like this when my grandfather Du Rang Yaoming. When I violated the rules and entered the Dingling Sacrificial Hall, I found that my elder brother had broken his abdomen, took out all the spiritual roots, and the light of Yaoming had scattered In the sacrificial room. I don't know if I can save my brother, but I still keep giving you relief." "

"My brother once lost [-]% of his life, but now he sacrificed all of it. I don't know what to do, but I suddenly remembered what Mr. Fu once said to me, 'If one day Sect Master Yan is in danger of life, take Sect Master Yan. A drop of blood from my ring finger, dripped into the seven-star life lamp, and tapped beside my brother, can continue my life, stabilize my mind.', I did the same. My brother really fell into a long sleep like before, thinking he was healed."

"Speaking of this, there is one more thing I haven't mentioned to my brother. The medicine my brother took...was also given by Mr. Fu. It's just that I swore to my grandfather at that time that I would not explain it to my brother when I was alive. However , I am probably already dead at this time, so naturally I should confess to my brother."

"Decades have passed since my brother fell into a deep sleep. This life is like a dream, passing away in an instant. Although I can't accept my brother's decision, I still understand it. Just like how I lost Qingxu that day, I don't want to live alone in this world, but my heart is not completely in her body, the pain still makes me unbearable. Naturally, I also understand that my brother went to Dingling with the heart of death."

"Elder brother, there is no need to worry about the foundation of the Yan Clan. When the elder brother was there, the Yan Clan was already thriving. Later, when the elder brother sacrificed Yao Ming, the Yan Clan reappeared. I also tested it for my grandson. Although he is not as good as the elder brother, But he is also a good talent. Elder brother has paid enough for Yan Clan."

"If elder brother can still wake up and see my words, I hope that elder brother can continue to live. It is not the suzerain of the Yan family, not the elder brother of Ming Huai, but Yan Xubai."

"Writing here, I can't bring up the pen anymore, so I won't say more."

"Stop, goodbye."

Yan Xubai read the letter in one breath, not knowing what to think.All kinds of emotions in his heart overflowed, his eye sockets gradually became moist, his eyes were drooping, and tears seemed to overflow from his eyes.

He wanted to say sorry to Yan Minghuai, but it was too late.At this moment, he finally regretted his impulsiveness at that time. He thought he had achieved the best of both worlds.But...he once again threw Yanmen to his poor brother.

He sighed for a long time, raised his hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of his eyes, "Fu Guilan, Fu Guilan, are you happy now?" He said, feeling depressed in his heart, "I chose you, but you Leave me alone, and don't even give me a chance to see you again as a remnant."

"You said the last thing that day, I decided to wait for you to come back, and I will explain it clearly to you." Yan Xubai lowered his head, pinching the letter paper with his fingers, "I plan to leave a part of Yaoming to continue Yanmen. Since then, you and I have left the Taoist sect, and went to the secular world or to do a casual practice. But...but, after all, you left without telling me."

Yan Xubai thought of the day when he came to the fairy peach feast alone, there was no restriction, and in the blessed land deep in the peach forest, there was no nothingness that was sealed that day, and there were stardust scattered around, each of which resonated with half of Yan Xu's soul in the sea of ​​white energy.At that time, he felt that his heart was really broken.It turned out that the dream was not fake.

"Fu Guilan, I've already told Zongzhu Han that from now on you are from Yanmen, and people belong to Yanmen, so is the soul. I want you to stay in Yanmen forever and ever. You are not from the Yanmen. Make a decision for me? This time, I will also make a decision for my husband."

Although Yan Xubai was heartbroken and lost his soul, he still resisted to walk in the fairy peach feast, collecting the broken souls one by one.

Yan Xubai leaned against the wall, thinking over and over again how he returned to Longsuo Mountain from Lin'an, then pretended nothing had happened in front of Minghuai, and then went to Dingling to sacrifice Yaoming.

Thinking about it, the pain in my heart became more tragic.

"Fu Guilan! I hate you..." Yan Xubai murmured, tears were growing in his eyes, and he couldn't wipe them away, but he suddenly changed his attitude and said slowly: "Didn't you let me live a good life?" Do you? Then come and see me, if you don't look at me, how will you know if I've done what you said..."

The letter paper in his hand was stained with tears, and even though the writing on it was spelled, the ink was still blurred.

Yan Xubai didn't want to cry, he didn't cry then, but right now he couldn't stop.

The surrounding lights are dotted with dots, and at this moment they are slowly gathering around Yan Xubai, like a hug.He smiled, and said: "Sir, it's really bad. It's been a hundred years and the remnant soul has not been gathered." As he spoke, he lightly patted the lights around him.

However, just as he was about to raise his hand to wipe his tears again, the touch on his cheek made him dazed for a moment, but a clear voice sounded beside his ear, "Ayu..."

Yan Xubai was startled, and quickly stood up. He had seen the form of the reunion of remnant souls, but there was no one around. He shouted again: "Fu Guilan...you are lying to me again."

There was no movement for a while, Yan Xubai stood where he was and lowered his hand.Those enveloping lights became brighter and lingered around him.

His violently beating heart seemed to stop suddenly, as if beating again would dissipate the possibility of meeting him.

The icy air in Xueyongyuan slowly poured into his chest cavity along with his breathing.The air full of decaying smell made Yan Xubai feel uncomfortable, he tried his best to calm himself down.

"...I remember when we met for the first time... I really didn't like you very much. I just wonder why there are people like you in the dojo, who behave without reason..." The light in front of Yan Xubai was shining brightly, but he didn't reach out to touch it. Li spoke softly.

The air that had just poured into his chest had become warmer now, and he exhaled slowly.The whole person gradually calmed down, and the hand holding the letter no longer trembled.

He said slowly: "Later, the master gave me a sword and a soul, and I felt warm in my heart. I never thought that I would be valued so much, not as the successor of the Yan family."

"Maybe then...Mr. will be more than just Mr. to me..."

"Sir... I want to see you, I want to be with you, I want you to be with me... I think my husband will spend my whole life with me. Do you know all these things?"

Speaking of this, the tears that Yan Xubai had just stopped overflowed from his eyes again, flowing all over his face without warning.

Even though he said so much, the voice just now never appeared again, Yan Xubai was convinced that it must be his own hallucination, it must be because he missed Mr. too much...

"Sir, do you regret leaving me?" After Yan Xubai asked this sentence, he smiled unconsciously, as if mocking himself, and then said slowly: "No, sir never regrets, sir has always been A sage who obeys his will..."

Yan Xubai still wanted to cry, but held back again, and said softly: "I'm not in a hurry...I'll wait for you. I'll wait for my husband to gather his soul slowly..."

He felt a little tired from standing, maybe from crying.Walking back to the corner where he was sitting just now, he slowly sat down, leaning against the huge carved wooden pillar behind him.

He looked at the scattered dust in front of his eyes, and dared not reveal the little hope in his heart.Feeling the surroundings gradually getting dark, Yan Xubai felt uncomfortable, afraid of the dark and the pain, he probably couldn't change it in his life.

But what is he doing now?

Waiting for a remnant soul to reunite.Wouldn't it be more frightening to say this?

Yan Xubai leaned against the wall, soon fell asleep.Probably because of the fatigue caused by crying and just waking up, he closed his eyes slightly, recalling the past in his mind.

Those happy times that were thrown in Dulujian, those sweet memories that were stolen, are all flowing in his eyes at this moment.There are even painful partings and injuries, these are treasures to Yan Xubai at this moment.

"I regret it..." Yan Xubai's heart skipped a beat, and this voice appeared again, compared to before, it seemed to be right next to his ears.

He sat quietly, not daring to open his eyes.But the gradually brighter light in the hall penetrated his thin eyelids, reminding him constantly to open his eyes and see.

Finally... Yan Xubai made up his mind to face it.Gently, slowly, and solemnly, he closed his eyes, watching the light around him slowly gather and gradually transform into a human form.Just like Qin Jing, although he couldn't see his face clearly, he was indeed reunited again.

He wanted to believe it, but he was afraid that it was just a dream that would disappear in an instant.

Yan Xubai looked at the transparent human figure in front of him, his body was shining brightly, the expression on his face at this moment should be the old smile.

"My lord, Fu Guilan, I wonder if Ayu would like to be with me in this life?" He saluted, then tilted his head slightly to look at Yan Xubai.

Yan Xubai's eyes became wet again, he took a deep breath, opened his arms, and encircled Fu Guilan who had just turned into a human form.Tears flowed down his cheeks onto Fu Guilan's body, hot and humid.All the overflowing emotions in my heart came out with a murmur, and finally turned into only one sentence.

"I can't ask for it."

(End of the article)