Ride boat

The alley is curved and long, there is no door and no window, I knock on the thick wall with an old key

The room is dark.

When Zheng Xiaozhou woke up, he was dazed for a long time.

My stomach felt very uncomfortable, I wanted to retch, my legs were numb and my hands were numb, and my mind was dizzy.In a completely unfamiliar room, there are very faint lights on the four sides of the ceiling, making the ceiling very, very high.

He tried to move his arms, and sat up a little tiredly, but his waist tightened. Looking down, he was lying naked on the dark gray sheets, with a thin and flexible rope around his waist, tightly pressed against his skin .He struggled a few times, and found that the thin rope stretched loosely from the back of the spine, all the way to the wall, and could be pulled out to have a certain range of motion.He tried hard to pull the rope around his waist, but the rope didn't budge.

"Yu Wei?" Zheng Xiaozhou became agitated, a lot of things flooded into his brain in an instant, and his mind was completely confused, "Yu Wei!"

No sound.

silence.

There are no cell phones, no clocks, the curtains are closed, and the walls are warm and cool.

Zheng Xiaozhou yelled angrily for a long time, but got no response at all. His throat was so dry that he saw a black cup by the bed, picked it up and drank it clean, it was warm.There was a blanket on the floor, so he tried to slam the cup against the wall, his wrist was shaken, but he found that the wall was soft and warm to the touch.

It's like being stuffed in a sponge soaked in water, so wet and sticky that you can never move your hands and feet.

Things that had been deliberately ignored before still surfaced.Now Zheng Xiaozhou regrets that he didn't think carefully about Yu Wei's attitude these days.The blame is that Yu Wei is too natural, the longer he stays with him, the more he gets used to that kind of ordinary way of getting along, and even subtly produces a kind of tacit understanding and warmth like a family.

Unshakable video calls every day, meals on the table after returning home; a light kiss every night, a long dark umbrella handed over before going out in the morning, waking up in the middle of the night with a glass of heated water by the bed; like a snake in winter Camel scarves brought up in circles; a neat plate of fruit on the desk in summer, ripe deep purple, with a sticky sweet aroma.

Zheng Xiaozhou thought about each piece carefully, and felt more and more tense.He always thought that Yu Wei was playing some kind of nurturing game for his own amusement, and felt that it was a special hobby of the rich, so he played his role naturally and lived with him day by day.They have lived in peace for two years, and they get along very well with each other, like lovers and family members, maintaining a delicate relationship.It’s just that occasionally something is wrong. Yu Wei sometimes goes to the basement or the roof alone. When the company is not busy, he can even wear it all day by himself, and only returns to the master bedroom to rest at night.

When he is alone, no one can disturb him.Zheng Xiaozhou was really curious once, so he followed him to the roof.It was evening at that time, Zheng Xiaozhou squinted his eyes to adapt to the afterglow of the setting sun for a while, and his vision gradually became clearer.Yu Wei was standing behind a huge drawing board, his side face was flushed, his lips were tightly pressed, his eyes were fixed in their sockets, and his gaze was glued to the canvas.

Deep trees grow in the evening mist, and small buildings under the setting sun.

Yu Wei didn't see him.

Zheng Xiaozhou sat on the rattan chair with his chin propped up, watching the colors gradually grow on his canvas, his backlit silhouette, his naked eyes, and the undisguised, almost lonely madness in his eyes.

He stood up and walked around behind Yu Wei, looking at the huge painting.

"Actually, my main job is a painter." Zheng Xiaozhou suddenly remembered what Yu Wei said to him in the teacher's office that afternoon.When he said this, his eyes were very gentle, and he looked a little helpless, as if he could see that Zheng Xiaozhou didn't believe it at all, he just looked at people with a smile, and talked to himself.

His paintings look weird.Zheng Xiaozhou thought.

The large area of ​​blue-purple is like an eternal dream of the universe. The stagnant water is calm and there is no struggle, unlike the human world.

Yu Wei didn't notice him all the time, and stopped when he was tired of painting, his eyes were empty, and there was a kind of indulgent corruption on his face, when he picked up the pen, his face flushed like a drug addict.

His world seems to have a blurred border, but it is actually completely closed. Zheng Xiaozhou tried to spy on it, but he always stopped at the next corner.He has only seen this kind of Yu Wei once, fanatical, quiet, pious, and fragile, as if he is the only one left in the world, peacefully enjoying that precious solitude.Zheng Xiaozhou went downstairs early, Yu Wei kissed his eyelids as usual that night, and said good night to him with a smile.

Zheng Xiaozhou felt a little uncomfortable, but he didn't think much about it. He just thought that people who engage in art might be a bit special. Subconsciously, he didn't want to think about it. He just thought it was best to keep the current state.The human brain sometimes deliberately avoids unpleasant options. It has a very strange shielding mechanism. It will always avoid things that it cannot understand, and only accept the information it wants to receive.

Now he is bound in this room by a thin rope, his mouth is full of sticky bitterness, he has never regretted his carelessness like this moment.

"...Fuck." He raised his eyes and looked around in discomfort, and said slowly towards the door, "What do you mean?"

No sound.

There was a sudden sound on the wall above the bedside table, and he turned his head to see that a steaming dinner plate was transported in and landed on the soft cushion without a sound, and the narrow flat window was automatically closed tightly again.

There is a bowl of vegetable porridge on the dinner plate, without tableware, standing alone, steaming.

"Fuck you Yu Wei," Zheng Xiaozhou suddenly roared in a hoarse voice, and gradually began to cry, as if he was completely crushed, "You treat me like a dog? Why the fuck do you lock me up? "

"Why is it always me?" He was so sad, and growled with tears, "What the hell did I do wrong? Why is it always me? Fuck you, why is it me?"

Why is it so difficult for people to live?

Life is like a bitch who loves to be mean. When she sees you being infatuated with her, she sprinkles yellow soup on your head and legs, making you smelly from head to toe; Tighten your neck, stick a few sweet kisses with a smile, so that you can live with your breath, don't give up on her so early, and try to pay a few more years of prostitution.

The corners of Zheng Xiaozhou's mouth collapsed little by little.

He raised his hand numbly, picked up the light bowl, and drank all the warm porridge.

Sleepy a bit early at night, although he didn't know the time, naked like a dog, he pulled the rope from the wall little by little, and went to the bathroom in the room to go to the toilet.

The room is completely enclosed.

After the curtains were lifted, there were no windows, and it was still a soft wall with no door frame.

Zheng Xiaozhou lay on the bed and fell asleep soon.

He had a dream.I dreamed of a poem I learned as a child.The young Chinese teacher taught them to read poetry aloud, and there were a few lines of beautiful small characters on the blackboard.

He couldn't understand those few lines, but he could hear the voice in his ear.

Zhe Qing was specially pointed out by the teacher to read, she looked like a little person, but her tone was always calm.The teacher was very angry and asked him to repeat it over and over again, but Zhe Qing could never meet her request, and just read slowly from the blackboard.The female teacher put down the book, walked up to him and asked him to follow her intonation, but Zheqing was very stubborn and uncompromising, but she had no emotion, no matter how she read it, she had no emotion.

After school, everyone disappeared, and Zhe Qing was left in the classroom by the teacher to continue reading.Zheng Xiaozhou found it interesting, so he lay down on the table and watched him read.Their primary school did not have school uniforms, Zhe Qing only wore a hurdle vest, his hair was white, and his armpits were frayed. He tightly clamped his arms to cover up the yellow that could not be washed off.

Zheng Xiaozhou saw a group of children poking their heads in front of the window, giggling and imitating his unwavering tone.When Zheng Xiaozhou turned his head, he saw Zhe Qing looking at him with a pale face, and looking at himself strangely.

Zheng Xiaozhou couldn't make a sound and was very anxious, so he could only watch Zhe Qing sit on the chair in vain and lower his head slowly.His chair slowly turned red, and blood seeped out, spreading to Zheng Xiaozhou's toes little by little.

Zhe Qing was very small, he was sitting on a chair, looking at himself with dark eyes, the color on his face seemed to be taken away, there was a thin layer of flesh, and all the blood flowed onto the chair.

Zheng Xiaozhou wanted to hug him up, to block the blood with his hands, and to fill his body again.He felt that the blood should not flow on the chair, the blood should be in the body, why should it flow on the chair?Isn't that weird?Why are you all looking at him laughing, why are you laughing?

More and more children gathered at the window, their eyes were wide open, giggling wildly at the people in the room, the sun shone down, and there was no haze in the room.

Zheng Xiaozhou couldn't move, he wanted to hit someone, he wanted to yell, he wanted to cry, but he couldn't even open his mouth.

When Zheng Xiaozhou woke up, his back was completely soaked.It took him a long time to realize that it was just a dream.Dreams are false, they cannot be real.He panted for a long time, gradually calming down his breathing.

The room was exactly the same as before going to bed, except for the disappearance of the bowl of porridge, nothing changed.

The black cup by the bed stood intact, with water heated at a constant temperature inside.Zheng Xiaozhou looked at the wall next to the bedside table for a while, then suddenly buried his head in his knees and burst into tears.