Rebirth Shi Hong

A splitting headache, a thunderclap-like pain across the occipitotemporal region.

Accompanied by the sound of heavy breathing, I suddenly woke up from the dream and rubbed the tangle between my brows.

What fell directly in front of me was the "Advanced Mathematics", which was no longer printed and had been out of print for many years, J University Publishing House.

A gust of breeze blows outside the window, and the snow-white pages gradually turn and fall,

Out of my mind, I suddenly woke up, where is this.

I walked briskly out of bed, the desk in front of me was extremely familiar, and it seemed like a lifetime away.

That's really my high school desk....

There was the sound of creaking clogs on the floor, and grandma staggered, calling my baby name loudly: "Shitou, it's time to go to school!"

The old-fashioned calendar hanging on the door reminded me that it was September 9st when I started my freshman year of high school.

I walked on the familiar street like a sleepwalker, until I sat in the familiar classroom - Class 3, Grade [-]. Seeing the flickering and evasive eyes of the students in the morning class, I lowered my head even more. Could this be rebirth?

All the sense of unreality spread in my heart, and I was in a state of panic all day long.

I have nothing and nothing but mathematics, and even when I was a child, I didn't have much leverage.

In the past, I was extremely self-abased and arrogant, and I paranoidly thought that apart from mathematics, the rest of my life was a waste.When I was young, I was very introverted, not good at speaking, and even a little gloomy. I wore old clothes and old shoes modified by my grandmother all the year round. It was already a compliment to be slovenly, but now I think it should be sloppy. Naturally, it has no appearance to other students. And the inner attraction, it will be isolated over time.I guess I also have social needs. After all, when I was young, I always had some unrealistic fantasies. I fantasized that I was a handsome guy with a good family background, excellent academic performance, cheerful and outgoing, and was loved by teachers and classmates. For example, Tang Chuan, who was a The teacher's darling, the man of the class, that's why I didn't refuse when he challenged me. I can't understand him who is so high-spirited, just like I hate myself who is so inferior and proud.Such a contradictory, yet so natural thought.

After all, reality does not come true by relying on fantasy.Over time, I also suppressed the need for social interaction, and focused more on the delicate digital world. Every time I came up with a solution, every time I deduced a conclusion, I was delighted. Only in this way can I realize the value of life.I want to prove that I am not, a useless cog.

Since this life started from high school, there is really no need for me to continue to provoke Tang Chuan. He and I are people from two worlds. Chen Jing, who is close to my heart, shouldn't have to suffer such an ending. I want to change.

This is the second time that I have such a strong desire to accomplish something. The first thing is that when I was a child, I tried my best to defeat Tang Chuan to prove my determination.

Being young and frivolous is for those fledgling teenagers. It is the spirit of swearing at Fang Qiu. In this life, I have already been smoothed by the years of later generations. I only hope that the years will be quiet and stable.It's a pity that I didn't know Chen Jing when I was a child, so I couldn't help her too much, but she often wrote to me in the detention center. Thanks to her love to encourage me with her own experience, I was able to understand her many things past.

I think the memory of this letter is enough for me to have a clue to find her.

The first priority is the economic foundation. I am short of money, a lot of money.Being a math teacher is safe, but it is not enough to deal with possible crises. After all, there are too many unknowns in the future of this life. I don’t know if my rebirth will bring about a butterfly effect. Everything in the future is elusive Yes, just as a multivariate equation can derive countless solutions, there can be countless points on a parabola, and if placed on the imaginary axis, it is a parallel world.I don't have the ability to change too much, but I have to at least make some preparations. I'm already 16 years old. As an incomplete adult with criminal responsibility, I can work part-time and use my ID card to make some small investments.

Simply put, the long years in the detention center are not difficult for me. The days are regular and orderly, just like the sequence of activities, which has its own rules every moment. After finishing the farm work, I have time to read, deduce, calculate, and try to solve some unknown problems. Guess, let’s look at physics and economics, which are closely related to mathematics. I got started with economics faster, "Das Kapital", "The Wealth of Nations", "Principles of Political Economy and Taxation", "Zero-Sum Era", thick and thin, I like to refer to books that are simple, profound, and difficult. Whenever there is something I don't understand, I will take advantage of the visiting time to ask Tang Chuan for advice.

Strange to say, the days in the detention center actually made us good friends. In his spare time, he would ask me to help discuss some crime-related mathematical modeling problems. At this time, I probably need to use some probability theory and game theory. Conduct criminal personality analysis and retrieval of geographical hot spots, including analysis, deconstruction, classification, and sometimes give some suggestions; I will also exchange some daily reading impressions with him, and talk about the superficial views on physics and economics works , He can also comprehend by analogy and give me many new viewpoints, try to make me feel refreshed and enlightened.

Such a peaceful communication is rare in our previous intersections. He also regretted that if there was no such opportunity, he might have missed a confidant.

He treats me, who is so arrogant to crazy, as a confidant.I was moved and emotional.

Tang Chuan is a good person with integrity, and he will be a good friend, but it is not so suitable for me, especially for me who is struggling with the suffocating past, and it is difficult to get out.

He didn't need to have much contact with me, but his sense of justice did not allow him to abandon his childhood friend, so he took me along.

I once heard the director discuss him. His superiors found out that he had a good conversation with a murderous criminal. He was punished and had no hope of promotion, but he never mentioned it to me. I have also implicitly expressed that I don't need him to come, but he pretended not to know and still came to visit me unshakably, so I had no choice but to let him go.

Taking advantage of nothing happening in this life, I don't think I really have the need to provoke him, after all, I have no intention of dragging an innocent him into this abyss.

I need redemption, but he is just passing by.

I don't have the ability to grasp the unknown future, even if I will repeat the same mistakes, I will have to go against the sky; I am really not sure and I have the ability to bear the burden of two people.

It's better to just say goodbye, my former best friend and confidant, Tang Chuan.

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