The susceptibility period is ticked off by the enemy

Instead of staying overnight with his aunt, Jian Heng took him to a taxi and stopped at a community some distance from the city center.

The community looks old, but the security and environment are surprisingly good. The lawn is neatly manicured, and there is no garbage flying on the ground. When the two entered, the guard even checked Jian Heng's ID card.

Kind of like Xanadu.

The interior decoration of the building also has the atmosphere of more than ten years ago. There is no elevator, and there are traces of rust on the handrails of the stairs, but it has been cleaned very clean. The aisles are full.

Jian Heng is very familiar with the road, and when he went upstairs, he smiled and greeted a passing mother-in-law. The mother-in-law smiled and asked him that he hadn't come back for a long time, and if he had time to sit down, he agreed.

Jian Heng lived here, and not for a short time.

Qin Cheng suppressed his curiosity, followed him up to the fourth floor and stopped.

"This is where I lived after I was 16 years old," Jian Heng opened the door, and a hot fruity scent came over his face, "I can live here when I come to Sichuan City in the future."

"Did you rent it?" Qin Cheng looked at it while changing his shoes, suddenly feeling sacred in his heart.

This is the place where Jian Heng lived before, the place where Jian Heng recalled, and now he has officially stepped into Jian Heng's past.

The decorator of the house should especially like wood.

The wooden floor, the solid wood sofa, the tea table that looks like mahogany, and the unidentifiable wood carvings placed next to the TV cabinet make the whole house shrouded in a literati atmosphere, with a profound heritage.

To use Qin Cheng's not-so-rich vocabulary to describe it, it would be "this is a good pretense".

It should be that someone came to clean it on a regular basis. There was no dusty smell in the air, but a faint fruity fragrance.

"It was originally a rented house, but after thinking about it, I bought it. Now it is our husband and wife's joint property." Jian Heng led him to the bedroom, opened the door, and smiled, "Welcome."

With an inexplicable sense of ceremony, Qin Cheng stood outside the bedroom and shouted "I'm back" in response to his words before walking in.

The bed in the bedroom is much bigger than the one in the Heping District, Qin Cheng's first reaction was that the two of them couldn't fall off even if they toss about it casually...

"Cough," the theater in his head was out of control, Qin Cheng's ears became hot, and he sat on the bed and sniffed, "It smells so good, what kind of fruit smell?"

"Watermelon-flavored perfume, part-time workers come to clean it up regularly, spray some by the way," Jian Heng sat next to him, put his arms around him and fell on the bed together. The bed was clean and soft, smelling of washing powder, and Jian Heng's eyes were bright , with a smile, "Do you like it here?"

"I like it." Qin Cheng closed his eyes. This is Jian Heng's real site. Although he hasn't been back for a long time, the air is still filled with traces of pheromones and incense. It is not strong, but light and everyday. The taste left by years of life is full of life breath.

Being completely immersed in this place gave Qin Cheng the feeling of completely owning Jian Heng. From the past to the future, including the present, there are all traces left by him.

Just thinking about it makes my heart so soft that I can't explain it, my whole body is like falling into the quilt that I just dried, comfortable and relaxed, I don't want to think about anything else, I just want to nest here quietly with him.

"I forgot where I read that sentence." Qin Cheng took his hand, closed his eyes, and lowered his voice, as if afraid of scaring away the hard-won tranquility if the sound was too loud: "Just live It is not enough, you also need sunshine, freedom and a little fragrance of flowers."

He opened his eyes, tilted his head to look at Jian Heng in the fruity fragrance soaked in the warm air, raised the corners of his mouth, his eyes were filled with smiles, and shook his head with emotion: "You are the sun, you are the freedom, there is no fragrance of flowers, but the fragrance of wet wood." Fragrance is as much as you want..."

"It's great...anywhere is good, anything is good."

Jian Heng gently grasped his palm with his fingers, and smiled at the corner of his mouth: "Yes, that's great."

"Is it possible that nothing will happen in the future?" Qin Cheng turned over and looked at him worriedly, "Is it true that Jian Xingguo will not be able to touch you in the future?"

Qin Cheng likes to have a quiet time with him, but the premise is that no one can threaten their status quo.

"He can't touch me for a long time," Jian Heng's expression flashed a certain emotion, and then he quickly suppressed it, and touched his palm comfortingly, "It's all over."

Qin Cheng looked at his expression and frowned. The emotion in his eyes that had been pressing on Jian Heng for a long time made him deny Jian Heng's words for the first time, but his tone was gentle: "You lied to me, you didn't pass."

Jian Heng didn't speak, Qin Cheng waited for a while, kept silent and lost to him again, grabbed his arm, and thought about his words for a few seconds before saying: "There is nothing to hide from me, I haven't carried anything in all these years, Saying that I am Jiaohua is just kidding with you. My brother is amazing, and I won’t be unbearable just because you say a few more words. You can talk to me, and you don’t have to hold back yourself. The more you hold back my heart The more it hurts, the more I love you, the more I love you, and the more you love me... We are like a Mobius ring, how can we fall in love, it's too hard."

Jian Heng looked at Qin Cheng silently, just when Qin Cheng thought he was going to say something, he shook his head and denied again: "Really not."

Qin Cheng stared at him, and suddenly felt like he was punching the cotton indiscriminately, and it was useless.

This metaphor is not appropriate either, he is not willing to hit Jian Heng, he just wants to hold it in the palm of his hand and put it on the tip of his heart to protect him.

But Jian Heng has always had a knot in his heart. No matter how sweet or happy the two of them are usually, this knot cannot be solved, and it will not affect their relationship. It's just that seeing him like this makes Qin Cheng feel distressed and always wants to help. He let go, hoping that the two of them could bid farewell to the past and start a real new life.

The atmosphere is so good today, let the past unhappiness be resolved together.

"This classmate," Qin Cheng held his face and rubbed it, "Do you want to exchange secrets with my brother?"

Jian Heng could tell what he was going to do at a glance, the corners of his mouth curled up. Those who should refuse, things that he didn't want to tell anyone or know about, should rot in his heart and rot with time.

But when he looked at this face, his rationality was controlled by his sensibility. When he realized it, he had already nodded and said, "Change it."

The thought of coaxing Qin Cheng, wishing him to be happy every day, wishing him to wake up every day and look at himself foolishly without any worries will always occupy the top of his mind, and even his nerves will default to respond to this order first.

Qin Cheng scratched the surface of the bed, and when he breathed a sigh of relief, he smiled with particularly beautiful eyes, bent, like some kind of satiated carnivore, dangerous, but also cute.

"Lie down and talk, I'm a little tired." Qin Cheng patted the bed.

The two quickly took off their coats and lay down on the bed. Jian Heng took the quilt from the cabinet, shook it off and covered them.

Qin Cheng lay down on the pillow, so comfortable that he wanted to roll around twice and then kick his feet.

"When you leave, pack two pillows and go home. I guess I won't be able to sleep when I go home after lying down on this." Qin Cheng said.

"From frugality to extravagance is easy," Jian Heng casually lit a cigarette. The upcoming topic was obviously heavy for him, but he couldn't help laughing when he heard Qin Cheng say, "It's difficult to go from extravagance to frugality."

"You're about to be raised by me, why don't you do anything? The cost of food and clothing is becoming more and more important day by day." Qin Cheng took him into bed together, pinching his hand, "Old man, old man Wife, I won’t turn the corner. You came here to live here by yourself when you were 16 years old, and mine is 16 years old. Let me think about it, what am I doing..."

The 16-year-old who has not been beaten by the society, the 16-year-old who is rebellious and eager to fight with the world, the 16-year-old who has experienced a lot of experience and is aggrieved.

If the person in front of him wasn't Jian Heng, he wouldn't have said it so easily if it was anyone else.

"I remember," Qin Cheng squinted his eyes, lost in memory, "I was broadcasting live at that time, relying on this face that God rewards food and my awesome skills, the fans grew fast and earned a lot, but that At that time, I had no eyesight, chose a broken nest, and the platform did not pay wages in arrears. At that time, your Aunt Song had a minor operation and needed money. The leader called me all over and no one cared about me. The wine bottle went to the platform headquarters to have a hard fight with the boss."

"And then?" Jian Heng asked.

"Then?" Qin Cheng waved his hand, "It's hard to look back on the past. As soon as I entered the door of your brother, a group of security guards locked me in there. It was the first time in my life that I got into a game. It's another story to say whether I'm ashamed or not. At least I broke a rumor."

"What rumor?" Jian Heng couldn't help laughing.

"The tea in the police station is still quite hot." Qin Cheng rubbed his stomach with emotion, "It's quite warm after drinking it."

"What happened later?" Jian Heng lowered his eyelids.

"Guess?" Qin Cheng put on a trick, "It's time to test whether you know me well enough. Guess what the clever student Cheng Cheng will use to solve it."

Jian Heng was silent for a while, then turned his head to look at him: "You didn't go to Uncle Gong, you should, and you wouldn't ask others to borrow money."

"Yes," Qin Cheng gave a thumbs up, "That's awesome, I really didn't find anyone."

Jian Heng didn't speak.

In Qin Cheng's personality, "asking for help" is always a way out. If you need to go to Gong Zhengqing, it must be extremely urgent, and he can't solve it.

There is still time to raise money for the operation, Qin Cheng will definitely find a way from other places, instead of begging for help at the first reaction.

"At that time, I was well-known in live broadcasting, and many platforms offered olive branches. After I got out of the bureau, I went to another live broadcasting platform, signed a contract that was similar to a sell-off contract, and paid my salary in advance," Qin said. Cheng had a look of disdain for his youthful self, "I was young back then, I was too stubborn, and I walked all the way to the dark. If this is me now, I will definitely find someone to help me, and I will not die. What are you trying to do?" Well, I caused a lot of trouble, and I had to pretend to be calm every day in dire straits. The sweat on my body was really the water in my head at the beginning, so I don’t deserve sympathy. Tsk, I don’t know if this tiger is out Who can learn."

As soon as the voice changed, Qin Cheng took his hand, put it on his lips and kissed it, and coaxed him in a roundabout way: "We Hengheng are very smart, we tell me when we feel uncomfortable, we face everything with me, We are loving, loving, happy, happy... Is this set of AABB-style phrases okay?"

"Very good," Jian Heng praised his boyfriend for his proficiency, "Contemporary literary master."

"Wen Hao's heart hurts so much." Qin Cheng took the cigarette in his hand, put it in his mouth and took a puff, squinting his eyes because it was so hot.

This cigarette is quite expensive, and Jian Heng didn't smoke it before, but since the two of them met, Jian Heng switched to it. Later, Qin Cheng accidentally tasted it, only to find that the smell of this cigarette is a bit similar to his pheromone , pungent, like taking a sip, many people who smoked it for the first time burst into tears.

"If I don't get the money back, I won't feel any pain, and if my boyfriend's heart hurts, I will feel pain too." Qin Cheng said.

"It's not that I can't tell you," Jian Heng took back the cigarette and extinguished it, threw it aside, and held his hand, "I'm afraid you will get angry."

"I never get angry when I listen to you." Qin Cheng and his nose were close to each other, rubbing each other affectionately, "I just can't see you keeping everything in your heart. Talents don’t talk, but you can’t keep holding back. I just want to be an audience and let you speak out to vent. If you really can’t get over the hurdle in your heart, you can take it as I forced you to say it.”

Jian Heng didn't speak.

"I'd rather you think I'm unreasonable now," Qin Cheng frowned, "I don't want you to keep suppressing in your heart, and then accompany me foolishly in front of me. My IQ goes online from time to time, in case I don't find you any time If I’m not happy, then I’ll regret it, and I’ll have to sleep all night thinking about it later.”

"Qin Cheng." Jian Heng was silent for a while, and called him.

"En." Qin Cheng stopped and looked at him seriously.

"You, have you ever thought about killing someone?" Jian Heng's expression was very calm, as usual, showing the indifference of staying out of things, but the dark tide was surging in his eyes, and the hidden emotions revealed the tip of the iceberg.

Qin Cheng was stunned for a moment.

Killing, these two words are so far away from a harmonious society that he didn't realize it immediately.

"I thought about it," Jian Heng looked at him, a volcano that was about to erupt was hidden under the calm appearance, "It almost succeeded."

Jian Heng said that he had thought about killing people, and had practiced it, and "almost succeeded".

Qin Cheng integrated the information he had extracted. Those few words were terrifying. If you think about them carefully, you will be afraid if you don’t think about them. Ordinary people may feel that there is a murderous pervert lying next to them, and their hearts are beating wildly. Call the police.

Qin Cheng didn't, he was just thinking about Jian Heng's last question - "Have you ever thought about killing someone?".

Have you thought about it?Should have thought about it, more than once.

The repeated pressure is often more tormenting than the sudden outbreak. Every day when I open my eyes, I automatically carry a debt that crushes the spine, oppressing the nerves virtually, and bursting out at the slightest touch.

Why do people keep asking him for help when they are so tired?Why no matter how hard you try, you can't get enough?Why did this kind of thing happen to him?why why why……

There are too many whys, too many problems that I can't figure out, can't solve and can't let go.

When people are cornered, they try to cut off the source of the problem.

If a person dies, nothing will happen.

Probably most desperate people think so before being impulsive.

"...I've thought about it too," Qin Cheng took a breath, his eyes fell on the ceiling, and followed the lines to diverge far away, "I've thought about it many times."

"Did you know that the most disgusting thing is not the so-called medicine for mental illness." Jian Heng lit a cigarette, and the smoke was full of strong emotions, being forcibly controlled in this small space, "it's bondage."

"The medicine paralyzes the nerves, and I don't feel it after a while, but the feeling of the restraint belt," Jian Heng's voice trembled slightly, his lips parted, and he didn't make a sound. After a while, his voice trembled slightly. Said: "It is humiliation, the dignity of a human being is completely obliterated, like a livestock, tied to a bed."

"You can't break free, you can't escape. No one around you thinks you are normal, and there is no normal person. What you hear every day is the ticking of the instrument and the screams of mental illness in the room." For the first time, Jian Heng completely expressed the negative emotions in his heart. When I came out, my jaw muscles were so tight that I trembled slightly, I tried my best to control myself, my fingers were stiff, "I was able to persist until I was discharged from the hospital, not because of my yearning for the outside world, but because I could kill Jian Xingguo and Sudan Qiu when I went out, and tied them up. Six needle injections, questioning them, punishing them for wrong answers, electric shocks, bright lights, depriving them of sleep... until they die... This kind of scene, just thinking about it, makes my whole body exhausted, and there is nothing I can't bear. "

Compared to Jian Heng who was able to calmly talk about it in such an angry mood, Qin Cheng felt that the fire in his heart was getting hotter and hotter. Why didn't he kick Jian Xingguo a few more times at that time, kicking this shriveled brat to death!

Jian Heng is like this, he will always show his best side, hide his scars, all the embarrassment is his own, all he sees is Jian Heng's smile.

Distressed, especially distressed.

Sensing his emotions, Jian Heng lightly pinched his ears, his emotions calmed down quickly, and his expression was a little relieved: "After going through this kind of thing, Qin Cheng, I just look normal, but in fact I have serious problems. psychological problems, and even... self-harm. I don’t want you to know this, I just want you to think that I am a normal person, a normal person who will not put pressure on you.”

"You, why do you think so," these few words came out of his mouth, Qin Cheng's eyes were flushed with pain, and a certain part of his heart was painful, and he grabbed his hand and put it on his chest, "If I Don’t ask you, do you have to hide it from me all the time? You are uncomfortable, uncomfortable and in a bad mood. The person who should tell you is me. How could I think you are abnormal? I can accept as much as I love you You, I still have a lot of problems, don’t you accept them all well. No matter what you are, you are the best in my eyes. My boyfriend is the most powerful Alpha in the world, who dares to say No, I'll kill him."

"Is it so powerful?" Jian Heng smiled, lowered his head slightly, and buried it in his chest, "Tell me more."

A movement that would never happen to him in the past, now that he does it, Qin Cheng can't wait to take out his heart and put it in his hands. As long as he is happy, it's fine.

"My boyfriend is super powerful and handsome." Qin Cheng put his arms around him, patted him on the back, counted his good points from the beginning, and felt that he could talk for three days and three nights, "he can cook, cook It's spicy~~~ so delicious. Really, when I ate your meal for the first time, I was thinking, this skill, hot face sticking cold butt, I would have to eat twice more, not to mention that the 'chef' is so handsome, I'm hungry just looking at it."

"It's delicious?" Jian Heng asked, lying on his chest, with a nasal voice.

"Super invincible and delicious, I want to eat the same delicious food for a lifetime," Qin Cheng lowered his head, his chin clenched on his chest, "Do you still remember that the two of us had class the next day, and the first class was English?"

"Remember," Jian Heng said, "You handed in nothing for the vocabulary test."

"Don't remember this," Qin Cheng slapped him, "Look how beautiful my brother's memory is, I remember that you were very pretentious and awesome at that time, and you could even write English letters so handsomely. Disdainful, but let me tell you the truth now, you managed to get the attention of a big A who had been straight for 18 years."

"Really?" Jian Heng suddenly became childish, "Is it the truth?"

"It's super real, the truth," Qin Cheng put his arms around him and shook him lightly, "Why do you think my boyfriend is so handsome, wearing a white coat when he goes to college should make people think badly, it's over, it's over, I'm so jealous Yes, I practiced sprinting wrongly, I should practice fencing, one sword at a time, all of them were thrown away."

"Nurse Rong?" Jian Heng laughed until his shoulders trembled, Qin Cheng's chest also trembled, and an indescribable softness spread in a certain corner of his heart.

"Have you ever seen such a handsome nanny? I must be the emperor anyway," Qin Cheng said happily, "Actually, there are some things I have never told you. I always feel that the elders are too hypocritical to say It’s hard to come out, but I found that I didn’t tell you that you didn’t seem to feel my deep love for you.”

"Tell me," Jian Heng raised his head and bit his chin lightly, "I want to hear it."

"Listen up." Qin Cheng coughed.

He is not a person who is particularly good at expressing feelings. He can say "I love you" when the feelings are strong, but if he goes deeper, he is always a little embarrassed.But Jian Heng's words today made him understand that loving someone doesn't have to be expressed in words, but words must take up a part.

Words are always the most direct way to express feelings.

"Actually, I wasn't so optimistic and sunny before I met you. You haven't seen me before, but you always feel that I've always been happy, and I was pretty sad before. You asked me if I thought about killing someone. , In fact, I wanted to commit suicide more, and it was not a particularly serious thought. I just thought, 'I wish I hadn't lived' when I was tired. After thinking about it, it's okay, I died and my mother But no matter how you fix it, let’s stay alive, and it will be of some use.”

Qin Cheng joked to himself, "Is it quite tangled. But I think you should understand me."

"I know," Jian Heng kissed the tip of his nose, "Living is meaningless, and death is meaningless."

"Yes, that's it." Qin Cheng took a deep breath, "As expected of my boyfriend, summed it up well."

"Are you going to learn from me?" Jian Heng looked at him, "Close your eyes and blow."

"Are you good at learning?" Qin Cheng's mouth twitched, "Brother has learned everything, isn't he very good?"

"Super powerful." Jian Heng said.

"Oh, I got off topic," Qin Cheng said, "Anyway, I lived like this for many years before you moved here. If you never show up, I will always live like this. Living is meaningless, and dying is meaningless. I live for the sake of living."

"But you are here," Qin Cheng couldn't help laughing as soon as the voice changed, "I came back to life instantly, and the cloth covering my body was blown away by you, so I really freed up time to look at the world and watch the world. When I saw it, I realized that life is actually quite interesting.”

"Yeah," Jian Heng looked at him, "Living for yourself is just a sentence. Only after you have experienced it can you understand that when someone is living for you, that is the time when you want to live the most."

"Have you ever had that feeling?" Qin Cheng moved forward vigorously, "After going through all kinds of hardships, when I look back, I feel very lucky, fortunately I persisted at that time."

"Yes," Jian Heng's mouth curled up, and he smiled sincerely, "After meeting you, I have a purpose in life, what about you?"

"Of course I met you!" Qin Cheng touched his face and said silly, "It's so good, it's so good."

"Yes."

In short, it has been a long time, but it is worth the wait.

The author has something to say: In short, the years are long, but it is worth the wait. — Haruki Murakami.

It is not enough to just be alive, you also need sunshine, freedom and a little fragrance of flowers. — Andersen.

It's the second book, let Qin Cheng and Jian Heng leave my writing, and let them finish their lives happily. ——Old mother Kongwuliu~

[Scattering flowers is over, a large number of extras are on their way~~~ I've been very busy recently, and the extras "try their best" to update daily. 】

[Here is nothing to say: Hello everyone!Thank you for being here!bow!The main text is over, and I'm still reluctant, so let me say a few words of nonsense!This is my second finished article, and like the last one, I immediately keep an eye on the comment area every day after I send it out, and laugh at your comments like fools, even though I am not very smart at all.Thank you to every little cutie who left a comment here!bow! (Whisper: I will remember all of you who commented on Zhangzhang)

Both Qin Zai and Jian Zai are my favorite characters, and they are all characters I particularly like. Although they still have many imperfections because of my lack of writing skills, I still love these two cubs!Finally, I wish you all the same happiness and happiness as the cubs every day! ! ! 】

感谢在2020-05-3117:13:54~2020-06-0118:18:20期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw mines: 2 ninety-eight;

Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: 9 bottles of heterogeneity; 3 bottles of chili peppers that foxes don’t seem to eat; 2 bottles of salted fish with dreams;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!