I, Qinghuan

The box that Bai Jinqiu and Cen Ziyan got was a soft sleeper box. There were originally four beds in the box, with bunk beds on each side.But this box was only used by them, and the other two beds were bought by the program crew and left empty.Since it is said that it is a box, it must be ensured that there are only the two of them in this confined space.

VJ followed and wanted to place the equipment on it. Bai Jinqiu made a gesture and asked, "Can we stay alone for a while? You can come in when the first task is released, and then take a few more shots." lens."

VJ called the PD and asked about it. The PD thought that they were in the private room anyway, and there was no one else to be seen among the crowd. It was completely feasible to make up this shot, so he agreed.

So VJ and Bai Jinqiu greeted each other, and quickly walked over with the equipment.

After closing the private room door, Bai Jinqiu looked at Cen Ziyan who was sitting silently in the corner, pursed his lips, walked over silently and sat beside her, and asked softly, "Are you still angry with me?"

Cen Ziyan stared at the landscape flashing by outside the window, without speaking.

Bai Jinqiu held Cen Ziyan's shoulders and forced her to turn around to face him. Runbai's fingertips pinched the young and firm chin, stared at the pale lips, and there was an imperceptible struggle in his eyes.She leaned forward and kissed him abruptly.

Cen Ziyan didn't resist, nor did she close her eyes, she just sat there blankly, allowing Bai Jinqiu to do anything to her.

Bai Jinqiu stuck out her tongue, and just when the tip of her tongue touched the other's lips, Cen Ziyan turned her head away and faced out the window, her red lips fluttered slightly with the watery light:

"I don't want a second bite on your mouth."

Bai Jinqiu was startled, and subconsciously sucked the scab on the corner of her lip with her upper lip. She lowered her eyes, raised them again after a while, and looked at the girl in front of her who was so familiar, yet extremely strange.

She still remembers how this mature facial features looked when they were immature.

She couldn't remember when Cen Ziyan always loved to chase after her, maybe it was six years old, maybe it was earlier.She only remembered that the young Cen Ziyan was wearing a floral dress, her hair was tied into two braids, and she ran after her in small steps. The pair of braids were like the immature wings of a sparrow, flapping up and down in the sunny sunshine.The two words that appear most often in her mouth are "Auntie", and she always said tirelessly: "Auntie, can you peel the shrimp for me?" "Auntie, can you tie my shoelaces for me?" "Auntie, can you sign for me?" "Auntie, can you hug me to sleep?"

She doesn't like children, but Cen Ziyan is an exception.At that time, she was in her 20s, and she was still a newcomer in the film industry, so she didn't have so many films to ask her to shoot.When she is not filming, she stays at home alone to study acting courses and books. Sometimes Cen's mother and Cen's father are on business trips, and they will ask her to take Cen Ziyan back to her home for a few nights.

Cen Ziyan, who is not yet ten years old, would find all kinds of reasons to sleep in her arms. She would refuse at first, but later she couldn't find any reason to refuse. Holding the soft and fragrant child under the bedside lamp The feeling of reading the script is actually not bad.At that time, Cen Ziyan asked her: "Auntie, what are you looking at?"

"It's a story to be made into a movie," she said.

Cen Ziyan said childishly: "Then I will also make videos like Auntie in the future."

"Yanyan, filming is to enter the entertainment industry."

"Then I will enter the entertainment industry." The little Cen Ziyan gripped the collar of her pajamas tightly, "I want to be with my aunt all the time."

"Nonsense, Yanyan is going to get married in the future, how can she stay with me all the time?"

Cen Ziyan's soft face blushed, and said softly, "Then I will marry my aunt."

Bai Jinqiu just smiled and didn't take it seriously.

Cen Ziyan in her arms slowly grew from a single-digit age to a double-digit age, from a sticky mess of children to a slim and slim girl.Bai Jinqiu was used to sleeping with Cen Ziyan in his arms, so that when Cen Ziyan was still in her arms, she still didn't notice anything wrong.

Cen Ziyan, who has just grown up, is like a little sun, bright and warm, tearing away layers of dark clouds, and unexpectedly shining into her cold and lonely rainy day.

Young people are always full of enthusiasm, do things regardless of the consequences, and they have to say it when they like someone, regardless of who the other person is, whether it is appropriate or not.The liking of young people is pure liking, which has nothing to do with family background, status, age and appearance, but only with the souls that attract each other.

She couldn't remember exactly when Cen Ziyan confessed to her, she only remembered that she was panicked at the time, as if she had heard a little lamb she had seen since she was a child say that she fell in love with her shepherd.She was already 35 years old at that time, and she already had a mature moral outlook in her heart. Her moral outlook made her subconsciously run away, and she kept running away until Cen Ziyan couldn't find her for three whole months.

For three months, she locked herself in an old house deep in the mountains.The three months of being alone also made her think about many things.For example, she actually likes Cen Ziyan a little bit, and on those nights when she couldn't hug Cen Ziyan, she never had any sweet dreams, and she actually hoped that Cen Ziyan would always be by her side.So three months later, when Cen Ziyan found her, she took the young Cen Ziyan to the charming hotbed of adults while she was drunk, hoping to make a final confirmation of her heart through this method.

The inexperienced Cen Ziyan huddled under her, with unconcealable fear in her eyes, but she was still accommodating to the drunk, her snow-white shoulders trembling like unopened daffodil petals, and she kept muttering "auntie" in her mouth. .

Auntie, take it easy.

Auntie, I don't feel pain.

Auntie, don't leave me.

But the next morning, after he sobered up, Bai Jinqiu ran away in despair.

The guilt brought about by destroying a flower that grew up in front of her eyes could really overwhelm her attraction to herself.

She didn't even wait for Cen Ziyan on the bed to wake up, and left in a panic full of guilt.

He went very thoroughly, went abroad directly, changed his mobile phone number, deleted his contacts, and did not tell anyone his whereabouts.Don't want domestic career, don't want the title of actress she earned most of her life, and don't want Cen Ziyan.

When she was abroad, she deliberately cut off all ties with China.So she didn't know what kind of life Cen Ziyan lived during the five years she left.

Everyone was scolding Cen Ziyan, even Cen's mother was scolding Cen Ziyan, saying that she was shameless to seduce Bai Jinqiu, she didn't know self-love at a young age, and made herself a dirty woman, she said Cen Ziyan She was sick, and sent Cen Ziyan to the psychological department of the hospital to force her to receive treatment.Cen Ziyan was imprisoned in the hospital, and frantically searched for Bai Jinqiu in various ways. After searching for a long time, she was hoarse and hopeless.In the end, my obsession was exhausted, and I really contracted a mental illness.

Everyone said she was sick, everyone said it was her problem, how could a successful woman like Bai Jinqiu have problems?If a perfect person like Bai Jinqiu shouldn't have problems, then the only one with problems is Cen Ziyan.So in the end, Cen Ziyan felt that it was her own problem. It would be fine if she didn't fall in love with Bai Jinqiu, it would be fine if she didn't confess to Bai Jinqiu, and if she could push Bai Jinqiu away when he hugged her to bed She's just fine.She began to think that everything she did was sinful, so that she had to listen to the "Great Compassion Mantra" every day and night to fall asleep. Only in the days when she found her faith, the Buddha could become her only sustenance for living.

Since then, she has become a different person, no longer bright and warm, and even for a long time, she couldn't make the corners of her lips curl into a smile.

Five years later, when Bai Jinqiu returned to China, he saw this Cen Ziyan, with lifeless eyes, as decayed as the peeling dust of the walls in an old house.

She said: "Yanyan, I'm sorry, I failed you back then. I regret it, and I will marry you now."

Cen Ziyan was silent for a long time, and said: "Not everyone is waiting for you at the same place."

She said: "It took me five years to find out, Yanyan, no one can do it without you."

Cen Ziyan smiled at her, but the smile didn't reach her eyes: "But...you are not who you were five years ago, and I am not who I was five years ago either."

She clenched her fist: "I will definitely marry you."

Cen Ziyan said: "Auntie, since you let me go at the beginning, then let me go completely."

She still called her aunt as before, but when she said those two words, there was no sparkle in her eyes anymore.

Just like now, her peach blossom eyes are lifeless, as if there is nothing in this world that can make her happy.In other words, if there was someone or something that could make her happy, it would definitely not be Bai Jinqiu.

Cen Ziyan gently pushed Bai Jinqiu away, supported the table and stood up, and wiped the corners of her lips that were moist from kisses.

Bai Jinqiu became nervous: "Where are you going?"

Cen Ziyan didn't look at Bai Jinqiu, and replied in a low voice, "Go to the toilet."

"I'll accompany you." Bai Jinqiu immediately followed her and stood up.

Cen Ziyan didn't speak, neither agreed nor objected, as if Bai Jinqiu was not around.

She opened the door of the box and was about to go out, but when she looked up, she unexpectedly saw Qing Huan and Nan Yang standing there.

The two of them should have come here not long ago. Qing Huan was communicating with the VJ in the box next door, holding a task card with the LOGO of "Honeymoon Together" printed in his hand.

"Ziyan," Qing Huan raised the task card in her hand towards her, "We are going in to find you, we just received the task, and we are asked to play with you..."

She soon realized that Cen Ziyan's expression was not quite right, she paused, and asked carefully: "Are... are you okay?"

Cen Ziyan concealed the strangeness in her eyes, and smiled gently at Qing Huan: "It's okay."

"Would you like to record later?" Qing Huan thoughtfully put away the task card.

"It's okay, I'll go to the bathroom, and I'll continue recording when I get back."

Cen Ziyan politely shifted her position, passing by Qinghuan and VJ, and Bai Jinqiu also took two steps forward.Cen Ziyan paused, turned around, and looked at Bai Jinqiu, "I want to go to the bathroom alone, is that okay, auntie?"

Bai Jinqiu glanced at the staff around who were fiddling with equipment, and his face returned to the expressionless look in front of outsiders, but he still didn't let go: "I'll accompany you."

Uncle VJ clicked twice: "Teacher Bai and Ziyan have such a good relationship, they have to go to the bathroom together."

Cen Ziyan didn't insist anymore, instead she smiled after hearing VJ's words.

Looking at Cen Ziyan's smile, Qing Huan couldn't capture a little bit of real joy from her eyes. Her smile was more like red paint repeatedly painted on rotten apples, using fake bright colors to cover up the rotten flesh.

Bai Jinqiu followed Cen Ziyan to the toilet at the end of the compartment, and VJ advanced to the box to set up the camera stand.

Nan Yang leaned against the window in the corridor, crossed his arms, and asked in a voice that only Qing Huan could hear:

"Are you going to help Cen Ziyan, or Bai Jinqiu and Cen Ziyan?"

Qing Huan froze, "What do you mean?"

"If you only want to help Cen Ziyan, then..." Nan Yang looked at Bai Jinqiu's blurred back in the carriage, "Maybe you shouldn't match them up anymore."

Qing Huan understood the meaning of Nan Yang's words, and they saw some things in their eyes.

If one person's feelings for another person are only fear and loathing, and then forcibly tied together, it will only torture each other.