Cupid winks

s to drink together, no matter beer, foreign wine or Laobaigan, he always pours first.We drank Kinmen sorghum, a high-grade liquor in Taiwan. He said that he drank it since he was a child, and he could not walk on the ground. His father used chopsticks to dip the wine into his mouth. His father firmly believed that boys just want to drink, drinking heavily. He eats meat, is bold, tough, loyal, and proud. He doesn't count on the eldest brother, and he can't teach the second child well. He only pins his hopes on the third child who is still young and very malleable. To train him to be a little man, S naturally listened to his father, and his father was a big man, so he was naturally very willing to be trained as a little man.

As a result, when we were drinking Jinmen sorghum, we poured down three cups.I was better than him. After three cups, I added half a cup to myself. I was bored and still conscious. I wanted to laugh at him and kiss him secretly, so I approached him. I also fell down and fainted.

I looked at the man, but he was still silent. I even felt that what we talked about before was really ridiculous.Did he know from the very beginning who s was, who was s's father? When I was 16 years old, I went to Taipei to explore the world with him. I was a dangerous person who was very excited and felt very happy when I cut someone off.

No wonder when the man was listening to me just now, his eyes were very strange for a while. Was it when he heard what I said?When you heard Fumiko's name?Why didn't he say anything then?He is also well versed in the exchange of secrets between strangers, and the unspoken rules of chatting between people who are related to each other without saying a word?Then why did he expose himself at this time?Why did you choose this time.Did the rain in Taiwan I mentioned touch him?

I lit a cigarette, tilted my head, leaned on the back of the chair and smoked, thinking.

Or is it because I look at him, see myself through his eyes, see s through myself - my mind, my heart, my eyes are full of s, of course I can see through myself see him.The man found out, saw through, and he also saw so much, occupying my full s, he looked at s, and saw many Ah Hua who were exactly like s.

Did these Ah Hua touch him?He can't keep his secret anymore, he has to say it, no, it's his secret that crawled out of his mouth, just like my secret is stuck in my chest, and it can't wait to crawl out whenever there is a chance .

I took a peek at the man, his sitting posture and expression didn't change at all, but his face was even uglier, ashen.I couldn't breathe, covered my mouth and coughed.

I feel old too, as old as he is.I really want to ask him if he has let go of Ah Hua.I couldn't ask, because I was afraid he would nod and deny it.I am afraid of a future where there will be no more suffering, and I am afraid of the reality that no love is forever, eternal, and long-lasting.

I have no money, no power, no fame, only the love for a person, if this thing also disappears, I really have nothing.

The man moved, his hands were still under the table, and he leaned forward slightly.He asked me: "S asked Dosang and Kasang, whose child is he?"

s didn't ask.He described his state of mind to me, he wanted to be his father's child so much, he couldn't possibly ask.But he was also curious, or rather, this question never left him.When he was a child, he tried his best to get rid of it, not to think about it, and buried it very deep. As he grew older, he became more and more like his father—character and appearance were all carved out of the same mold. The question swirls up from the bottom of his heart again, who is he, where did he come from, if he is not a child of his parents, his personality can be polished to become similar, is it okay to look like that?

He also said that the eldest brother has the master, the second brother has the robot, the younger brother has his skateboard, his music, Kasang... Kasang has her umbrella, gloves, Japanese novels, and jazz records.He said, I have been imitating my father, but on the day I graduated from the graduate school, everyone celebrated at home. I looked at my graduation certificate and felt that I had nothing.

So, he went to the financial market.He went looking for an answer, a sense of belonging.

He had heard some rumors that his father had lived in Taipei for a long time, but for a while, more than 20 years ago, he went to Rongshi once and bought a former residence of the Qing Dynasty there.

He thought that if he was the child of his father and his lover, then the house should be for his lover.

He found the house sales contract, looked for it, found Haozailai Massage Club, and found Manager Fan.He was talking to Manager Fan at the front desk, and he said, hello, who did you ask to rent this house?

Manager Fan said, are you from Taiwan?

He didn't speak.Manager Fan asked, are you Brother Hua's son? S shook his head, Manager Fan said, you are! s asked him, do you know who my mother is?Manager Fan said, your mother is long gone. s asked, sick?Manager Fan said, difficult labor.Manager Fan also said, don't tell you Kasang.

Manager Fan said, Brother Hua loves you Kasang very much. He was confused for a moment. Imbalance, mental problems, I used to feel that my confinement was not done well, I felt that people seemed to have changed, either crying or losing their temper. Brother Hua was also under a lot of pressure at that time. He wanted to be a trading company. To save face, I suffered a lot of closed doors. The couple inevitably quarreled and lost their temper at home. You Kasang said that you want to go back to Japan, and Brother Hua said, then you go back, the Japanese killed your whole family, you go back to Japan!You, Kasang, are really gone. What about Brother Hua, he, he will inevitably find another gentle town.When the child was about to be born, he regretted it.He said he still loves her.He went to Japan to find her back.He lied to your Kasang, he said, the child is his friend's child, and the friend can't raise it, so they should take it back and raise it.

S said, I looked very different from my father when I was young.Manager Fan said, children can't tell.He looked at S and said, as soon as you walk in, I know who you are.

Manager Fan asked him, you came here to ask these things, right?

S said, I don't want to go back for the time being.He said, you still haven't told me who you asked to rent this house.Manager Fan got angry when he heard that, he blew his beard and stared, and waved his hand, whatever you want, you can stay if you want!Have you brought enough money?Which hotel do you live in?Your family doesn't know you're here, right? ?

S said, I heard that you have been recruiting technicians in your basement.

Manager Fan got even more angry, are you crazy?We don't have a basement!

s said, I just saw two people walking down.Manager Fan wanted to drive him away, but S went back the next day.the next day.It was the day I met him.We were in the basement, shoulder to shoulder, I called out to him, I punched him, he dodged, I punched him again, he caught my arm.Manager Fan ran down from upstairs, persuaded us to leave, and persuaded S to say, "Okay, okay, you are the security guard, you are the security guard!" !

Fortunately, s stayed here. At first he worked as a security guard, and then a customer ordered his order, and he took it. Later, he opened up the task of the Babylon clubhouse by himself.Manager Fan can't control him. Every time he sees him, he always seems to have a lot to say to him, but he always says nothing.

I didn't talk to a man, but the man still talked to me, and he talked endlessly.

He said: "He is not an unwanted child, it's just that the situation at the time was complicated."

He said: "Ah Hua kept slapping himself, saying that he was obsessed with ghosts, made a big mistake, and said that Fumiko should not let Fumiko know no matter what, I said, let's say it is Yin Yin and my child. Ah Hua look at me, look at me Look at me, ask me, do you know, Yin Yin, once, once, she... confused, hugged me and called your name all the time. "

I touched the table, wiped it, and lowered my head.Why is he telling me this?Is he going to trade his secrets for more of mine?What secrets did I not tell him, I even shared my bed with him.What else does he want to know from me?

I glanced at the man, lowered my head again, smoked, and ignored him.

The man said: "I'm going to find Yin Yin. Yin Yin's belly is so big, I said, why are you destroying other people's families. She rushed over and hit me, she said, I hate you so much! I hate you so much!! She said again, I love you so much, I love you so much. She beat herself in the stomach and said, I don’t want this child anymore, I don’t want this child anymore! He and Xiao Fan sent her to the hospital immediately."

The man said: "Xiaoying is a premature baby. He is so young. I called Ahua, and I said, the baby was born and survived, and Yin Yin left. I said, let me bring the baby. Xiao Fan and I gave birth to the baby." The child wants a name, he is very polite, after all, he is a college student studying Chinese, what kind of name should he choose, such as Lanzhou, Chongmin, etc., I said, it is too troublesome to write the name during the exam, I saw the shadow on the ground, I said, it is called Let's make a movie."

"It's all out of my own selfishness."

"I feel like a shadow, following Ah Hua all the time."

"This child is also like a shadow, a part of me, my shadow. He has nothing to do with me physically or blood, but it is because of me that he has him. He is a mistake. His biological parents are both Think of him as a mistake, but he's not nobody wants."

I asked the man: "Then why did you leave him? If you raised him, he might not be what he is now, you know? He doesn't want to hurry up day and night