as if poisoned

Sometimes I change my look

but can't change my heart

I hate myself like this

Let the deep sea pile me up

But it can't achieve the desired effect

I don't know how long I can last

My hands and feet can hardly bear it anymore

can you save me

=============================================

May, long holiday

This May long vacation, I want to go back a little bit, but I feel that my mother who has been clinging to me is a bit too hypocritical. I try to leave home, just want to be independent earlier, so that I don't rely so much on home.

But the second week in May is Mother's Day, so I had to go back.Even if it was an early celebration for Mom, I just wanted to do that.

Gifts... what should I buy?I'm really not good at choosing gifts.I was about to call Qin Nuo when the electric bell rang.

I went to open the door and it was Huang Shengjia who stood outside. I should have been surprised, but I was already used to it.Since I fell ill, he has often come to my house, and I have become acquainted with him from time to time.

"You're here"

"Well, are you going to go out?" Probably because I was dressed a little differently, so I guessed like this?

"Well, I'm going to choose a gift for my mother."

"I accompany you?"

"Are you busy?"

"Do you think I'll come here as if I'm busy?"

"...then let's go"

I think my natural nemesis is him, no matter what, I just can't say anything about him.

"What do you want to buy?"

"Not yet, I plan to call Qin Nuo, and you're here."

"Then let me choose with you, and I will pay half of the money."

"Hi..." I interrupted him before I finished speaking.

"Don't get me wrong, this is your salary as my tutor"

"..." What else can I say, he has already decided to do this, can I change it?

I don't think I am a person who is obedient and rebellious, but for Huang Shengjia, I just can't help but obey. Maybe he is my only strong friend?So whatever he said, I just nodded.

"Let's go then," he said, looking at his watch.

==========================================

When I arrived at the shopping mall, the noisy crowd made me a little uncomfortable. My life circle was too narrow, and the things I saw and touched were all three points and one line, part-time job, school, and home.

The dazzling counters and storefronts made me panic immediately.At this time, Huang Shengjia patted my shoulder "It's okay, don't be afraid", I nodded in response.

"Let's choose a gift for my aunt." I didn't want to talk anymore, so I could only let him drag me away. I didn't know what he would take me to buy, but I chose to trust him.

Strange to say, he is the one who knows the least about me among the very few of my friends, but he is the one who helps me the most. Maybe other people also want to help me, but they are probably frightened by my cold face. The idea of ​​wanting to help has also been thrown to the point where I don't know which country.

"Do you think this scarf is beautiful?" When he came back to his senses, he took me to the women's clothing department. I looked around at the shop assistants, but none of them wanted to talk to us.

Probably because we are still students, so we look down on people.After all, there are brightly dressed people around.And I'm just wearing a better lapel shirt, and Shengjia's clothes are probably just better than normal.Of course no one will pay attention to us.

Even if they pay attention to us, they are just afraid that we will steal things, right?After all, there are a lot of pickpockets nowadays, and things will be stolen if you don't pay attention.What a snob.

"Not bad" is indeed good, but it just doesn't suit my mother.My mom would look dull with blue, it would be nice with red.

"What about this one?" I looked down, and I was terrified!Is he my roundworm?That's right, the scarf in front of me is red, or bright red.If my mother were here now, I would ask him if he secretly had a twin, but I was the only one left.

"Well, that's it." Many people feel that shopping is troublesome, and I am no exception, so I quickly grabbed the payment and wanted to leave. Although it is summer, scarves are not cheap.

I wasn't surprised until Huang Shengjia took out a card to pay the bill.Fuck!Ya actually have a cash card?At that time, the cash card was hailed as a symbol of wealth. Is it really good for me to be friends with such a person?

The worry at that time actually had another hidden worry, that is, I probably fell in love with a trouble.Liking doesn't mean you have to own him, it may be a better choice to possess her and let go.