Glass man

thing.The palpitations finally passed, give him a little space to reply to the message properly.Cynthia sat under the stairs and played by herself, so she didn't need him for the time being.Cheng Jiang held up the phone and slowly read the words on it. The latest one was the address of Lin Suimeng's home.The address only wrote the number of the street, but did not write the specific floor and door. He thought for a moment and guessed it was a small single-family building.Lin Suimeng said that he only needs to make up the money, but he still doesn't know whether he should go or not.

Lin Suimeng continued typing: Can you come?It doesn't matter if you can't come.

do you want to come

Cheng Jiang also started typing:

Cheng Jiang: I can't come, sorry.

Mengmeng_(:з」∠)_: It’s okay!

Mengmeng_(:з」∠)_: I know you are busy~`o`~

He turned the phone over and over in his hand.The shadows of the Luna Theater are back: the small sloping roof, the lights, the clumsy actors, and he always sits in the dark backstage.Under the light, the washi tape that was positioned was shining, and the fluttering white gauze was more than ten meters long... Will he have a chance to go back, try again, and see what he can make?

He turned the phone over and over in his hand, and finally added another sentence:

Cheng Jiang: Definitely come next time.

☆、chapter34

"Don't you think your poor leg can easily cause balance problems?" Shen Jiqing asked.

Cheng Jiang said he didn't think so, because after returning to normal sleep, the swelling in his legs also disappeared a lot, and he felt that there was no safety hazard for continuing to ride.However, Shen Jiqing still drove the ashes-covered car out of the garage, and persistently sent them out every day.

"In this way, I will drive until you finish the exam, and your legs should be almost relieved by then."

The days of picking up and dropping off have passed for many days in a row, and he has never been used to it.Finally, the day of the exam came, and the weather was surprisingly good.The test center was full of people, and the corridor was filled with damp steam. The test was taken in a classroom of a university, so outside the window, there were sporadic and scattered college students who didn’t go home on weekends, about his age.A person in charge came over to coordinate and asked everyone to line up according to the content of different translation exams: English, Japanese, French, and even Arabic.There are three levels and two levels.

Standing in the crowd, he even saw a few young people with particularly immature faces chatting together.

The exam is divided into two parts.In the morning, the comprehensive ability of English translation was tested from 09:30 to 11:30 in the morning, mainly vocabulary and grammar selection, cloze and reading comprehension, which were quite easy for him.The translation test in the afternoon from two o'clock to five o'clock is the part he has been most worried about, but he has also reviewed many times by himself for the practice.The real test questions were simpler than he imagined.

He thinks he can pass the test.

At noon between exams, Cheng Jiang went to a small Yunnan restaurant near the exam room and ate a bowl of tofu rice noodles, which were cooked in a casserole. When it was served, Cheng Jiang was shocked by the portion.While eating, he used a spoon to stir the tofu cubes and crushed peanuts that were floating in the broth. He thought it tasted pretty good, and he could bring Shen Jiqing to try it next time he had a chance.

When he finished eating, there was still half of the rice noodles left untouched.So I thought again: At that time, a bowl of rice noodles for two people would be enough to eat.For some unknown reason, Shen Jiqing usually eats less than his.He imagined Shen Jiqing's bony arms and fluffy sweater when he was sitting at the dining table eating, and their struggle when they were trying to carry Cynthia's small bed, a strange thought suddenly came to his mind, but he was quickly suppressed.

Exams and day-to-day reviewing have roughened his heart, and as long as there is a little bit of drifting information, it will all stand up, which is an unexpected sensitivity.

Shen Jiqing is a very normal person.Cheng Jiang reminded himself, put the last rice noodle in his mouth and bit it bit by bit.He really couldn't eat it, and he felt a little guilty about wasting food, so he bought a glass food box in the restaurant and packed away the remaining noodle soup.When Shen Jiqing drove to pick him up in the afternoon, he even unzipped the canvas bag and showed it to the other party.

"It's not bad," Shen Jiqing said, "It seems that I have settled down for tonight's dinner...how did you do in the exam?"

"I don't think you need to practice writing names backwards...?"

"Say it again." Shen Jiqing said.

"You don't need to practice writing names backwards."

Only then did Shen Jiqing smile.Cheng Jiang reached into the car window and tapped him lightly, turned to the back, opened the door and sat in the back seat.Shen Jiqing carefully backed the car out of the parking space, and turned up the music on the main road.

Then they go home.

Cheng Jiang took a long sleep to celebrate the end of the third-level exam.After that night, he had to continue to prepare for the CATTI level [-] exam non-stop.It's like climbing steps, climbing up one level at a time, and one day you will be able to climb to the first level.When the time comes...no need.As long as he passed the second level, he would have been able to make up for many of his lack of education.

After an exam, his work and rest became much more normal.

Most of the swelling in the leg has healed, only bruises remain, and Shen Jiqing is no longer needed to send him to work; on weekends, he can also spare a little time to take Cynthia out for a walk.

Most of the time, Cheng Jiang took her out personally, and only in special circumstances would Shen Jiqing do it for her.

There are a lot of feral cats in the neighborhood.Little girls are often tired of walking, so they like to track moving furry things, so Cheng Jiang has identified the six wild cats in the community in a few months, and even the color of the cats in each place looks like. I remember it all.There is a carport dedicated to feeding cats, which is one of the main gathering places for cats. Most of the cats inside are fat and strong.There are no small cats, only adults.

Cynthia has been wanting to walk non-stop since she could walk, but every time she walks for a while, she changes her mind and asks her guardian for a hug.At this time, she will no longer want to go to the ground for a period of time.Therefore, Cheng Jiang seldom takes her far away, and only stays nearby—the yard of Old Man Mao's house.

The old man Mao still didn't go out very often, but they always came, and they gradually became familiar with each other.

Cheng Jiang felt that the embarrassment among strangers was like layers of paper stuck together.They came to reveal one sheet at a time, and it has been a little transparent by now.

The cats in the old cat’s yard are not afraid of strangers, and most of them are docile, but for safety reasons, they still often stand and watch through the railing.Cheng Jiang was not interested in cats, so he could only look at the railing in front of him, or chat with the old cat.When they first got acquainted, the old cat asked him:

"Why do you bring it out every time, have you never seen the child's mother?"

"No," Cheng Jiang replied cautiously, "she doesn't have a mother."

There was no ups and downs in the old cat's expression, and the topic was over.It's just that after Cheng Jiang came again for countless times, he suddenly told Cheng Jiang that he also had an only daughter.Like milking butter, only a little bit of the past story was squeezed out at a time. Cheng Jiang listened to it four or five times before he heard a relatively complete memory.

"Yes," Shen Jiqing stirred the rice porridge with a spoon, "Mr. Mao Yi's family left early and never remarried. At that time, there was no concept of a nanny, so he took it with him everywhere."

"He said that he was working on a project in the research institute, and children were not allowed inside, so he put the child in the clinic at the door and let the nurses help to watch it. This has been the case for many years. Most of the nurses are young girls, and they are more patient with children. "

"Really? It's good too."

Cynthia stretched out her hands on the table, and played with a china cup round and round.The cup would never turn to the ground by itself, so Cheng Jiang didn't care too much.

"I have never seen Mr. Mao Yi's family. It seems that he has been living there alone?"

"Really?" Shen Jiqing was a little absent-minded, "His daughter is married. But I remember she still comes back often?"

"do not know."

Cheng Jiang thought of the old man talking about cats again.He said that his daughter likes cats the most, so they raised one when she was older.The white wild cat, which she picked up from the side of the road, is also called a squirrel, because the cat's tail is very big.When I picked it up, it was a two- or three-year-old big cat. After eight years of raising it, it got sick and died.

"Are cats so short-lived?" he asked.

"No, it depends on the situation. I used to have a colleague's cat who lived for 21 years. Anyway, she cried faintly. We didn't have any cats anymore. We put a few cats in the yard. Cat litter to let the stray cats settle."

"I don't know where those two kittens went last year." Cheng Jiang looked at the big cat dozing on the grass by himself, and suddenly remembered to ask.

"They were all driven away."

"Go away?"

"There is a big cat in the community, which is the leader of all the cats. It may have established a rule that when the kittens in the community become adults, if they are male cats, they will be driven away, and the female cats will be kept. The two cats in the yard before They’re all male cats.” He looked at Cheng Jiang’s unbelievable expression, and said with a smile: “The society of cats is also a society. …So there are very few male cats in the community, and the squirrel is one of them, which I specially protect. down."

The old cat's eyes drifted to the grass:

"...I specially protected it."

This repetition is inexplicable, as if the elderly with poor memory are unconsciously recalling what they have said, and it seems to have some other meaning.Squirrels ignore people and always like to lie down in their nests so that no one can see them clearly.Cynthia got tired of playing with the cups, so Cheng Jiang reached out to clear the table.

"The little girl who contacted me before asked me again yesterday," he said, "if I have time to visit her house."

"What are you doing at her house?"

"It's the amateur theater troupe I mentioned before, remember? She asked me if I had time, and said that this time I wanted to prepare and share the materials. They wanted to make a narrative play by themselves."

"Oh, that's great. Are you going?"

Cheng Jiang hesitated for a moment: "I want to go and see."

"When?"

"Saturday. I'm not at home for half a day. Is it convenient for you to take a look at Cheng Yue?"

Shen Jiqing said there was no inconvenience.On the day of the troupe meeting, everyone went out together, Cheng Jiang went to take the subway, and Shen Jiqing took Cynthia to go around the fish pond in the community.The fish pond is actually quite a big artificial lake, in which there are a lot of big golden and red carps, and many people like to feed them with the leftover steamed buns.

Shen Jiqing showed Cheng Jiang a half steamed bun in a plastic bag.

"How to feed the fish with the least amount of steamed buns continuously for the longest time is a technical job," Shen Jiqing flicked the plastic bag back and forth, "You and the two of us go and see it next week, and I will show you."

Cheng Jiang had already taken a step forward at this time, and turned around to smile at him.

"Next week," he said, walking away in the opposite direction.He suddenly turned his head while walking, and saw Shen Jiqing squatting on the ground with his back facing him, talking to Cynthia.Because the distance is already very far, the figures of the two people have become two dots, one big and one small.The big one straightened up quickly, picked up the little one, and walked slowly into the distance.

He looked at them, and suddenly there was an inexplicable emotion in his heart, but when he tried to sort it out, he felt like a child eager to show his mother a piece of music that he hadn't yet mastered. Although it seems to be a simple fingering, his fingers can't keep up with his thoughts at all, and he can only pop out chaotic sounds frequently.

"If," Cheng Jiang thought suddenly, "if..."

But when the green light came on, he could only cross the road and go to the subway station opposite.

☆、chapter35

Lin Suimeng's home was a bit far from the urban area. Cheng Jiang reversed the line three times, took a total of nearly 500 stops before arriving at the station, and walked about [-] meters according to the instructions in the address.Tree branches protrude from the community, and from the outside, there doesn't seem to be a tall building inside.He had to register first and then enter like entering a kindergarten without a certificate. After asking the guard, he finally found Lin Suimeng's house.

As soon as he arrived at the door of the target address, Cheng Jiang knew why the small troupe gathered at Lin Suimeng's house.

Lin Suimeng’s house is surrounded by wrought iron fences like the surrounding houses. There is a separate small open space directly from the iron gate to the house, which is paved with flower tiles. The pink and white roses on a railing are a bit like the courtyard layout in a literary movie.After the rose is an apple tree several meters high, the flowering period has passed long ago, and no more flowers will be released.Cheng Jiang looked up a few times before remembering to ring the doorbell.

It was the owner of the house who came out and opened the door for him.She changed her outfit today, her hair was curled like spaghetti, her lips were painted blood red, and her ten nails were painted in bright black, red and white, and she was in high spirits.

"Come and admire my mansion! I live alone, with a large space and a soundproof wall, so I can make as much noise as I want."

Lin Suimeng lives in a villa. The outer wall facing the gate on the first floor is made of glass, which is well lit.The living room is filled with sculptures, surrounded by a few large white sofas with a bohemian style, and a sparkling chandelier overhead.The staircase is made in an American retro style, a bit like Cheng Jiang's previous rental house in Lengwan, but the design is more delicate and unique.The second floor is the dining room and kitchen, the third floor is probably Lin Suimeng's personal space, and there is also a spacious basement for rehearsals.

He arrived not too late, so there were not many people on the sofa, and Lin Suimeng pulled him to sit down.

She casually took a chocolate bar from a small colored tray in the living room, crunched it in her mouth, and continued to listen to You Lulu and the other two girls who looked familiar but Cheng Jiang didn't know. tell a story.The sister of the boy who told the story last time seemed to be called Wei Xizhui.When Cheng Jiang sat down, he just heard the last sentence:

"...then she said, 'I wish you to become an Italian red door orchid in the next life'. 【Note】"

She probably said it as a joke, but Cheng Jiang didn't understand.He sat like an invisible man, and was not introduced to everyone by Lin Suimeng until everyone quieted down.

A few people gathered around the sofa and talked about what they had, and the rest of them arrived one after another. Cheng Jiang counted, there were ten people in total, and they were all between [-] and [-] in age.

"Is that aunt you mentioned last time not coming?" He quietly asked Lin Suimeng.

"She came here last time, and it turned out... Forget it, it doesn't matter if you don't mention it, the age gap is still a problem. But she has a way, and said that if our rehearsal is good, she can arrange a performance for us."

At this moment, ten people were already sitting in a circle around the sofa.

The main content of today's meeting was that everyone shared the materials they brought, and finally voted for the theme of their first scene.Lin Suimeng tapped a small European-style tea spoon on the porcelain fruit plate on the coffee table in a dignified manner, announcing the official start of the material sharing session.

A young man named Fang Sheng recommended himself to lead the battle. He cleared his throat and said:

"Before I start, I want to explain that this is a story I heard from my friend. It involves some cold knowledge on natural landscapes, but I don't remember the details clearly, so most of them will be skipped. Should not It will affect the plot. I hope you don't mind."

Everyone said it was fine and urged him to speak quickly.

Fang Sheng told the story vividly and vividly, and everyone listened with great interest, but after listening for a long time, they realized that it was just an old-fashioned love story after death told in another way.Several girls threw chocolate bars at him, so he stopped talking and hid around the sofa.

Cheng Jiang didn't understand in the end, but everyone else understood, so he didn't say much.

Finally, the one closest to the blank paper was Wei Xizhui who picked up the pen, summed up a sentence in the corner, "a love story of despair, suffering and life-and-death", and marked the number 1 next to it.

"The next one—" she recited like a drama, and then they waited for the person sitting on Fang Sheng's left to speak.

Everyone turned around.

Everyone picked up the highly dramatic and daydreaming elements: serial killings, multiple personalities, these are all new terms that Cheng Jiang has rarely heard of, and he only gradually came into contact with them after leaving Lengwan.When it was You Lulu's turn, she happily talked about the plot of an online novel, a "hot topic".

"The heroine has been reborn." She said, "Have you heard of this routine, have you? No matter whether you have heard it or not, please calm down and let me talk about it."

Lin Suimeng threw fake flowers from the vase on the small coffee table at her, urging her to speak quickly.

You Lulu laughed and dodged another plastic flower, and Luan Yu beside her bent down to help her gather them one by one.

"The heroine was cheated miserably by scumbags in her previous life, and everyone betrayed her relatives." She finally continued, speaking very fast, "In the end, when she was framed to death, she was suddenly reborn in high school, so that she could avoid the previous life. Ending. Her memory is as good as the heroines in all other rebirth novels, and she performed some advanced operations with the help of her past life memories. First, unite the family, meet the right man, and then fight against the scumbag.”

"I've read it!" A girl raised her hand, "Is it the one about the business war? The one where she and the male lead went to Guatemala in the end?"

"No, mine is very different." You Lulu looked at her contemptuously, "It's not over yet... After the scumbag was killed, a series of foreshadowings laid down by the author suddenly came in handy one by one: It turned out that she seemed to be taking revenge on the scumbags, but in the process, she was already involuntarily destroyed in the hands of the so-called real man in the same way as she was deceived in her previous life."

There was a moment of silence in the living room.

"I didn't know you still read novels like this." Finally Lin Suimeng said in amazement, "Don't you just like to read Da Tuan Yuan?"

"Can I fucking predict in advance that this is a newspaper article?" You Lulu broke the plastic flower in boredom, "The author didn't say anything when I was chasing the article! I just wanted to see what would happen later, but I saw With such an ending, I thought the heroine would be able to counterattack in the end..."

After a long time of quarreling, You Lulu's place is over, and it's Luan Yu's turn.

Luan Yu is the girl with big eyes.This was the first time Cheng Jiang heard her speak, and it was very difficult to hear her, because her voice was so low that she could almost only see her lips moving, and a few words occasionally fell out of it.

"Speak louder, dear." You Lulu hugged her carelessly, "Otherwise I'll throw a needle on the ground later, and the sound of it falling on the ground may be louder than your voice."

Luan Yu and You Lulu came together. Both of them are in their early twenties and work as dance teachers in the same art institution.You Lulu is cheerful and generous, she can be regarded as the "face" of the institution, while Luan Yu has a very low sense of presence, and is mainly responsible for teaching the basic movements of those very young children.When she was embraced by You Lulu, she visibly froze for a moment, and the small eyeballs in her big, doll-like eyes flicked up and down a few times before she amplified her voice a little as she said.But she seemed to be unable to make a loud voice at all, and she fell down again after a few words.

When everyone really couldn't hear clearly, Wei Xizhui suddenly said:

"Lulu, hurry up and throw the needle now."

The people on the sofa burst into laughter.Cheng Jiang noticed that Luan Yu's fingers were slightly clutching the jacquard fabric on the sofa, and he also smiled shyly with the others.When she laughs, she leans forward and her chest floats up and down, but her entire right arm is completely still, making the picture extremely uncoordinated.

Lin Suimeng was the one who spoke after Luan Yu. She told the plot of a foreign short story, which seemed to be recommended to Cheng Jiang before, but he didn't have time to read it.When she started talking, Cheng Jiang was going to the bathroom, and when he came out of the bathroom on the second floor, Lin Suimeng was about to finish speaking at a rapid pace.

"...Speak slowly, what's going on?" You Lulu was asking, "Why did this person die at one time and then at another?"

"He didn't die in the war because he was a coward. But he regretted it, went to spend decades fantasizing that he was brave, and then the narrative hero guessed that he touched God, so after his death, God changed' the past ', everyone's plausible memory about him is that he is a brave and fearless person. [Note] But the protagonist of the narrative is not God, so his own memories are also false, how to know what is true and what is false What?" Lin Suimeng finished speaking enigmatically, and when she looked up, she saw Cheng Jiang return to her seat, "Let's hurry up. Xiao Cheng will continue."

Just before Cheng Jiang sat down, he saw Wei Xizhui summing up "Talking memories to change the shameful and unfortunate past" on a white paper, paused, and told the story of "Sichuan Good Man" that he had read a few days ago.They had planned to speak a few more rounds before voting, but probably the organizers made a mistake in predicting the time.

After everyone finished telling a story, it was four o'clock in the afternoon, and it was time to break up.

In order to remedy this, Lin Suimeng created a telegram text group for everyone before leaving, and planned to communicate in the group offline before sharing all the materials.

Cheng Jiang took the subway back, and all the way staggered to see Fang Sheng share his story of how one day in high school, when he was out exploring with a group of friends, he was chased by five wolf dogs from a small abandoned park all the way to the police station. .

It was close to five o'clock when he got home, and after the three of them had eaten, Cynthia wanted to practice climbing the stairs.

From the perspective of the kitchen, Cheng Jiang saw Shen Jiqing leading her up and down several times, and then she waved her hand capriciously, and drove him to sit under the stairs.When Cheng Jiang finished tidying up and walked over while wiping the drops of water that had leaked into his hands at the hem of his clothes, Shen Jiqing hadn't had time to put away the signature smile on Shen Jiqing's face.

"When a child says 'no' to you, you should go aside to cool off, and come back when you feel she needs you. You see, I just wiped the stairs this morning, and there is no dust on them." He saw Cheng Jiang came over and said by the way, because Cynthia had started to climb up and down the stairs repeatedly like a kitten.

Cheng Jiang climbed up the steps and sat on the same floor as him near the wall, leaving a small space in the middle.Shen Jiqing asked casually:

"How about the troupe meeting?"

Cheng Jiang evaluated several stories in his mind, and first recounted the first one that he had never understood: In the myth, the northern and southern ice oceans lived in their own corners, and they met because of the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, but they were separated due to geographical restrictions. We can't see each other for a long time, so we can only rely on seagulls to convey information.But their parents...

"Both died in love with the poisonous fruit brought by the bird? He really figured it out." Shen Jiqing also smiled, "It's a plot in Shakespeare's "Lo and Chu". I thought you had heard of it."

He meant it as a joke, but Cheng Jiang said seriously:

"No. The writer who came to our side is William Smith, and there is only one "Killing Uncle" in his works."

Shen Jiqing was taken aback, then looked up at Cheng Jiang.Originally, they were sitting together on the fourth-to-last step of the stairs near the ground, but because he had just slipped to the ground because of laughing, Cheng Jiang's position was a little higher than him.Because the afternoon sun was just right, the lights were not turned on on the stairs. Looking at the light streaming in from the living room, Cheng Jiang sat sideways, both to talk to him and to keep one eye on his daughter.He pursed his lips, as if he was looking at him, or at the wall, or even looking through them to see something farther away.

He asked suddenly, "Is that why you came back from Lengwan?"

The author has something to say: Note 1: For flowers with special shapes, you can check the details on Baidu~

Note 2: Borges, "Another Death"

☆、chapter36

When Shen Ziwei announced the death of Tong Chengyue a few years ago, his last wife had died less than two months ago.

As the protagonist's only son, Shen Jiqing naturally wanted to attend the engagement banquet.

In all fairness, Shen Ziwei is a relatively successful entrepreneur, and the banquet was held grandly and lively.He booked a venue in a luxury hotel in the city center with extravagant decoration.That day, everyone on the court was switching cups and gossiping, but Shen Jiqing hurriedly glanced over and didn't even see what the future stepmother's face looked like.

After the party, the three of them met for tea alone in a small private room in the hotel, and he officially met Cheng Yuezhi.

On the surface, Cheng Yuegu is a generous but gentle and polite woman, like the type Shen Ziwei likes.She picked up the teacup and drank tea gracefully, while looking up and down at Shen Jiqing.She greeted him with a smile, and he responded with dignity and courtesy.Then came the time for gossiping in a harmonious atmosphere.

As she spoke, she looked up at him and sighed involuntarily. "If my son..."

Shen Jiqing remembered being puzzled for a moment, because she didn't see anyone who might be her son at the banquet, but what does it have to do with him?Besides, looking at Shen Ziwei's expression, it seems that she has never deliberately concealed the existence of a son, but she will never say a word related to him.

Probably noticing that he made her lose her mind, Shen Ziwei began to insinuate quietly, wanting to know more about her son's whereabouts.Shen Ziwei wanted to know everything.

He heard that Shen Ziwei felt that she was hiding the child.

"My son? Yes, I haven't seen him for a long time, and I don't know how he is now."

"Of course, of course. But mother and child are connected, you should know where he is now, right?"

He saw her frown, her expression gradually lowered.She replied:

"He's in...a very peaceful place."

No one expected her to say that.

In today's peaceful age, it is a bit strange to use "tranquility" to describe a place.Shen Jiqing's first reaction was a town in a remote area.

Shen Ziwei continued to pursue:

"Does your son have a good relationship with you?"

"We were very close back then."

"That's good! No matter what, we will be a family in the future. If there is a chance, we should pick him up and meet us, right?"

"No," Cheng Yuegu, uncharacteristically, murmured:

"Never meet again."

So no one asked any more.What she meant was so obvious that no one thought that the man was still alive.No one would care about a person who no longer existed, including Shen Jiqing.Cheng Yuegu's son has always been a pale sketch to him, a silhouette of a youth with a blurred face.It was not until a year and a half ago that they were shocked to hear that he had returned to China, and the pencil sketches were taken out again, lined and colored, and formed into a human shape.

He didn't think Cheng Yuegu had lied: no matter from her tone and expression at that time, or the close relationship between her and Cheng Jiang, he could tell that every word she said came from the bottom of her heart.

Cheng Jiang seemed to come out of nowhere, without a past.

He seemed a man created out of nothing by a novelist.There are too many unanswered questions: Why did he live in the closed Cold Bay and suddenly choose to return to China?Why did he have a child at such an age?Blue-eyed, obviously mixed-race little girl, where did the child's mother go?

It is very common for young girls to be single mothers, but much less common for young single fathers.

Sometimes Shen Jiqing felt absurdly that Cynthia's mother didn't exist: she was born like this.A young man, a little girl, doesn't need a mother.

It was born that way.

Although the more logical version is: Cheng Jiang fell in love with a blue-eyed girl in high school, but for some reason, she left him after leaving a child, most likely dead.Because of this love, he had to terminate his studies, took his children alone, and returned to China in desperation.

Cheng Jiang must love Cynthia's mother very much.

The more Shen Jiqing thought about it, he felt that this version was extremely possible, even though he didn't like it very much for some reasons that he couldn't explain.He also shouldn't be curious, but maybe he now more or less thinks that Cheng Jiang's matter has nothing to do with him, so that he begins to unconsciously look at the opportunity to make side-steps like Shen Ziwei did back then.

"Is that why you just came back from Cold Bay?"

When Shen Jiqing asked, Cheng Jiang was indeed thinking about Leng Wan.Although he couldn't directly answer this question, but because he happened to be in the atmosphere of the conversation, he rarely hesitated before speaking.

"Is it?" He smiled, "Lengwan is too small after all."

After speaking, he subconsciously touched his face again.I don't know when, the expression of many emotions is more natural than when I was in Cold Bay.

Shen Jiqing is asking:

"Did you want to join Aunt Cheng at that time?"

"No."

"No?"

"I didn't expect to see her again." Cheng Jiang said, "I don't know... I don't know what it's like outside Lengwan. When I think about things, I don't take a long-term view. I don't know many things. It's time to finish."

"what about now?"

Cheng Jiang looked at him suspiciously.

"Leaving Lengwan." Shen Jiqing explained, "It's been a while. How do you feel now?"

"Feel?"

"Have you ever regretted it?" The other party asked again, this time more specifically.

"It's useless to regret." Cheng Jiang said seriously, "If you don't reflect on yourself, what should happen will happen again sooner or later."

"I thought you were going to say 'there is no regret medicine in the world'."

Cheng Jiang was silent for a moment.

"Maybe there is," he murmured.

Maybe it was because his half-sentence was too vague, so Shen Jiqing had to ask him to repeat it.But what Chong said had obviously changed, Cheng Jiang hesitated to speak, and asked him:

"Do you think I love Cynthia?"

Shen Jiqing said that he was joking about this question.

"No, I mean..." Cheng Jiang reorganized his words, "What do you think is the difference between responsibility, guilt, and love?"

"There's a difference. Guilt?"

"I asked her too hastily." He bit a small piece of meat on the side of his teeth, "Do you understand? I'm sorry for her just for that. It was my decision that she was born into this world, so I have to She is in charge."

He doesn't specify who "she" is, because the answer is self-evident.In this way, although he still didn't say anything clearly, he inexplicably felt that the burden in his heart was a little lighter.

Shen Jiqing sat there, looking into his eyes.

He didn't smile this time, as if he was concentrating on how to answer.His eyes were covered with a layer of blue gray mist, which became thicker and thicker until the original color of his eyes disappeared, but then became lighter and lighter until they all dispersed before saying:

"You did everything well. What is love? Responsibility, guilt, what is it? We all owe others. You are walking on the road, smiling, and there is a person who is in pain. , you laughed at him, you should feel guilty to him. You buy something you like, and throw it away after playing with it. You are sorry for the person who wants it more. Are you responsible for this person? You Do you love him? Everyone should be responsible for his children. If so, the children of the world will be twice as happy as they should be, but no. Guilt, responsibility, you have it, and love? I I don't know if you love her or not. Only you know...you don't know, only she knows. She is not a bystander, only she can tell the nuances, she alone. But how do you know her Can you tell the difference? Children, children are honest. She is good to you and close to you, and you know that she knows that you love her. "

"But--"

Shen Jiqing spoke unabated, and continued:

"But a child, such a small child, can tell the difference, can't she? She can't tell the difference. A child dealer gives her a candy, and you give her a candy, and the reaction is not the same. The difference. Now it's time to see the difference between you and the child trafficker, not on the outside, but on the inside. What was the child trafficker thinking when he gave her candy? What were you thinking? You were thinking about whether you really loved her. You were in Thinking about it says that you want you to love her, and that's enough. It's much easier to love a child you want to love than someone else because they are kind, innocent, innocent Harmful."

But how do you know what you said?Who is not kind, not innocent, not harmless