murmur

Lu Zhongyi was driving alone on the national highway in the night, passing the speed bump, his body wobbled slightly.Yu Guang followed the bus next to him in the flickering lights and shadows, passing through the narrow and long Guangling Road, Shiren Road, and then along the bustling Huangpu River Middle Road.This is unknown, so there is no reason to detour without purpose. He lit a cigarette through the car window and took a strong puff.

Every time he had to face about that person, he couldn't help but be silly.

I have made up my mind to stay away, because that person doesn't feel the slightest about me, otherwise, no matter how much I love and pay for it, I just turn a blind eye to him.There is no future, no hope.That man's heart couldn't be filled by himself, so he reluctantly left Shanghai, where he had lived for 12 years, let go of him who had been with him for seven years, and lived in Tianjin alone.

However, in the past two years, I have always gone to listen to his speech reports countless times, sneaked around downstairs in his apartment building, and watched the man's back for a long time, how humorous it is.

Just like today, it was ridiculous and pitiful to drive from Tianjin to Shanghai for more than ten hours and see him among the crowd in the multi-functional lecture hall.

Loving someone is the most impossible thing.

He has really changed. He handles the relationship between the upper and lower levels properly and thoughtfully, and the smile on his face is impeccable. He is no longer the frizzy and worrying kid before.

That's good.

When he came back, he opened the door and smelled the aroma of rice. Gong Jing lay on the dining table and fell asleep soundly.

Lu Zhongyi walked over to wake him up: "Gong Jing, I'm back."

The other party responded in a daze: "Then let's serve the meal." Then he opened his eyes with difficulty, rubbed his sleepy eyes, and began to serve the meal.

Looking at his indifferent and gentle appearance, Lu Zhongyi felt strangely distressed in his heart.

What kind of a person is this? He has been by his side for more than a year without desire or demand. He clearly knows that his impulsiveness is due to a stranger named Pei Ji, but he has no complaints and never asks where you are going. Even without asking what you did, it was as calm as a windless sea.

It is incomprehensible for her to be so forbearing and obedient, although she clearly has love for herself.

Fiddled with the rice in the bowl, Lu Zhongyi said slowly, "I'm going to Pei Ji's report meeting again."

"Well, I know."

"I know just one thing from you."

"if not."

Lu Zhongyi jokingly said: "I'm your boyfriend now, you can clearly prohibit me from worrying about my ex."

Gong Jing smiled shallowly, "The heart grows on you, you can think whatever you want, your feet grow on you, you can walk whenever you want, your eyes grow on you, you can see whatever you want, which one is mine It's under control."

Lu Zhongyi was so choked by his words that he couldn't speak, yes, as long as he doesn't love himself, who can do anything to him.

People are all selfish masters, they want others to be sincere even though they are not sincere in themselves.

Lu Zhongyi asked jokingly: "You're so generous and you still say you love me, isn't it a lie?"

Gong Jing suddenly lost any smile, and said, "If I didn't love you so much, why should I compromise so much." Then he bowed his head and ate his own meal.

Seeing his heartbroken expression, Lu Zhongyi knew that he was sad, but he didn't try to comfort him.

He has always been like an NPC in Jianwang Sanli, with too strong self-healing ability, if he is exposed today, he will be alive and well tomorrow.

Unlike Pei Ji, he is not a child who can't grow up, so he doesn't need to be coaxed or used to it.

Only Pei Ji, he couldn't help but want to hold it in his hands and protect him from everything.

In this life, he will never love anyone the way he loves Pei Ji.He thought, that is the purest and most undemanding love.

In the end, it ended up like this.

Just like during the day, when he stood in the crowd and listened to him, the person who used to be next to his pillow became the protagonist who could only look up to silently at this moment, what a drama.

It turned out that he and him were just one in tens of thousands of ordinary people.

I don't know how much I drank, my mind began to become blurred, but some memories became clearer.

Pei Ji fell barefoot and sat on the wooden floor, thinking of that past again, crying with his arms in his arms.

How could he be so ignorant at that time, relying on his young age to look like a little old man who relied on the old to prosper too much.Lu Zhongyi likes him to squander his trust recklessly, which is tiresome.

He has made countless mistakes.

Because no hospital is willing to take him because he operated on the patient privately, he scolded the guy who is his boyfriend as worthless.

The man didn't make any rebuttals, and the next day he got up early and worked late the next day to find contacts with his family and contact the hospital's senior management to give gifts and money.After several days of hard work, he was given a stomach bleed after being drank on social occasions, and finally a hospital was willing to give him a job opportunity.

He always remembers the scene of that day.He was sitting at home watching TV at the time, when the man ran in sweating profusely and shouted excitedly: "Yes, yes, Xiaoji, finally there is a hospital willing to give you a job opportunity, and I ask you to go there tomorrow and start." Internship." Then she hugged him silently for a long time.

Later, after a period of precipitation and hard work, he finally became an official medical assistant in the Sino-British joint venture hospital.Unfortunately, because he does not have a strong family background to support him, and he is a newcomer, the daily outpatient clinic is bleak and he is in a bad mood, which leads to the unsatisfactory results of assisting in several operations. Due to the imperfection of several operations, the hospital had to cancel his evaluation qualification.

He stayed at home discouraged and didn't go there for more than a month. He only knew how to play games, eat, drink, and sleep all day, and he didn't even bother to talk to that person.

The man tirelessly whispered in his ear: "Xiaoji, every newcomer survives like this, don't get depressed just because of a few setbacks, as long as we work hard, we will definitely become a well-loved and famous person." Good doctor. Take your time."

At first he just did his own thing and pretended not to hear.After listening to it a lot, it became annoying.So he vented all his anger on that person, and cursed: "Isn't it because of the things you did behind the scenes, the whole hospital is talking about me going through the back door, saying that I saw you walking very close to the high-level people. I really don't understand what happened back then." How could he fall in love with you? If he followed someone else, would he make me work so hard? What can't be done with all the money?"

The man was silent for a while, then went out alone, and didn't come back for several days.He thought that the man was really angry this time, worried that he was going to leave, and was thinking about apologizing to him, saying that he had spoken unscrupulously, hoping to forgive his ignorance, and the man came back in a hurry. Weary all over.

The first sentence when I entered the door was: "Xiaoji, the job of becoming a full-time employee has been settled. I went to Shanghai and asked my father's friend for help. My uncle is a well-known cancer expert in the medical field. He knows many famous people in the circle. Please invite your dean when they come, and I will post some topics on the Internet to push it, there must be a lot of people selling it, and you will definitely become a star doctor."

As the man said, he was really popular. During that time, many men, women and children knew him. They had to pay attention to their words and deeds when they went out. They were afraid of being secretly photographed. Some people asked for autographs and some asked for photos. There are more and more VIPs.He really enjoyed the feeling of being watched by many people after being crowned with a star halo as a profession of a doctor. He is a bit vain, but beautiful. He longs for success, the kind of lofty and incomparable superiority that is admired and followed by countless people feel.

The good times didn't last long, because he had many appointments and limited time every day, and it was impossible for those who lined up for treatment to delay their illness for a doctor.So, gradually, after the work saturation period, the blink of an eye became quite dull.

He once tried to ask the medical association to add a sum to his job title, but he was declined, and some people were willing to help him, provided that mutual help and mutual assistance were needed, and a deal was needed.It's really lucky for him to meet the same kind, just like this.

But he resolutely refused, because he knew that although that person loved him to the extreme, he dared not touch some restricted areas, otherwise, according to that person's personality, if he decided to break up, he would definitely leave no room for it.

Although he is capricious and selfish, he knows in his heart that he loves that person and he must never lose it.

I tried my best, but there was no progress, and I began to feel lucky. After several struggles, I finally had a relationship with that upper-level person, and finally got a job title that satisfied me.

The paper can't hold fire, the man knew about it somehow, but he didn't lose his temper, he just said indifferently: "Xiao Ji, I know I'm incapable, so I let you do such a thing. It's mine. Wrong, but next time you have something, can you tell me first, if I really try my best and can't solve it for you, then you can use your method, okay?"

He knew that the man was really angry, hugged him tightly and said: "Zhongyi, no more, there really won't be a next time, I love you, only you."

The man sighed helplessly and tolerated him again.

Countless big and small mistakes, that person has forgiven them all, why can't they do it this time.

Pei Ji cried hoarsely: "Why can't you wait for me? Why can't you forgive me again? Why?"

In fact, he himself understands a little bit that not all mistakes can be forgiven.

Well, I don't ask for your forgiveness, I just ask you to give me another chance, so that I can see you, let me be close to you, so that I can continue to love you.

What Lu Zhongyi said on the phone on the last afternoon was in his mind: "Pei Ji, I'm tired". The meaning behind the boring and monotonous words was like a quagmire, deep and with a certain desperate atmosphere.Pei Ji suddenly felt a little scared and a little ashamed.

After all, my own harshness pushed away the lover who had no bottom line and tolerance for him.

"Love, yes, does he regard him as a lover, from beginning to end."