People die every day

My surname is Wang, and my name is Ming.

I grew up without parents, was adopted in an orphanage, and then a young couple adopted me

I went against the light and saw my "mother" for the first time

A woman calls me her mother, but I almost never get the slightest bit of beauty about mothers from her

She is quite paranoid. She was an athlete when she was young, but she never won a medal. In order to inherit her dream, she chose me, who was only five years old.

Since that day, it seems like I've been training every day

Until I got bigger and I started to realize that I should have a life of my own

This idea burrowed into my head like a poisonous snake, and the more I tried to control it, the more uncontrollable it became.

I started to hate training, hated competitions, but fell in love with making desserts

But I know that these are two completely different directions from my own efforts, so I have been suffering for a long time. The coach complained to my mother that I was not concentrating and judged that I did not have diving skills. talent.

My mother still refused to give up, she took me home, picked up a whip and beat me like crazy

It rained a lot that night, and I fled to my good friend's house. After chatting, I realized that almost everyone of my age was facing a dilemma similar to mine.

The only difference is that they are forced to go to school, and I am forced to dive. We all carry the wishes of others and walk forward with difficulty.

My mother reported the case, and I was finally brought home, but what I didn't expect was the slander she would follow.

She said that it was my friend who tricked me. My friend is a homosexual. He didn’t learn well at a young age. He did these messy things all day long and blamed his parents.

She yelled so loudly that the whole building could hear her sad accusation that she had heard friends say shitty things to me, sexting, bullying me, getting me down

The demeanor is as real as if there is something real

Standing in the disbelieving eyes of everyone, I was at a loss. I grabbed her with my hands and looked at her in fear and pleading, "Mom... Mom, stop talking"

Who would have thought that she yelled even louder as if she had obtained some evidence

"What are you afraid of! If you dare to do it, you dare not let people tell you!!"

I knelt down and covered my ears with my hands, as scared as a stone about to fall from the edge of a cliff

I didn't even dare to look at my friend's disappointed face!

Until all this was over and I was brought home again, I couldn’t wake up from the confusion. My mind was always in a daze. I only saw my adoptive mother sitting on the sofa calmly, with the proud attitude of a winner. Said, "If you don't train well, I will completely destroy him"

Other people's words can sometimes change a lot of things, such as friends, no one cares what the truth is, and no one knows how to empathize. From that day on, his neighbors avoided this family

Another example is me, I went back to the training ground that day, training with great fear every day, for fear that my mother would be dissatisfied, and even more people would be killed

In fact, these are nothing. A person’s life is too long, and the past will always be faded away in countless times. When I become an adult, I have enough ability to get rid of the nightmare about my adoptive mother, and I have completely begun to feel relieved about the past.

But I still chose suicide on my 21st birthday

There are not many reasons, but because of the pessimism and negativity in my bones, the cause of this pain is irreversible. Over the long years, I have grown up like this

I also felt resentment and struggled, but finally chose to accept it.

I can no longer live happily, I can't feel the freshness and love in my life day after day, I can only wander endlessly

Waste most of my time, wandering in the proposition of life and death.

Until finally I realize it's just a choice, my own choice

After blowing out the candle, I turned my head and glanced at the trophies I had obtained over the years, and when I was about to drink the prepared poison, I received a letter from the End Organization.

When I first discovered this organization, I felt like a treasure, and subconsciously submitted the application information immediately. I waited for two days and never got a reply.

I thought I was rejected, but at this very moment, I stopped my death

Sitting on the sofa and thinking for a long time, I finally decided to fake my death as a homicide. I am a little bit famous, what if the newspapers have some bad influence on the children?

Thinking this way, I waited patiently for another half a month, but I finally got the news of ending the destruction.

At that time, my mood was broken. I hated that guard named He Hongwei, and I couldn't stand the backlash of this damn organization!

But what else?Anyway, he is also a dying person. After calming down for a day, I re-tied the hanging rope for myself

I put my head in the knot, thinking that nothing will happen again this time

Let me die! !

The sound of the TV is flowing in my ears. When I close my eyes, everything becomes silent, and I start to feel sad again.

I feel sorry for my life that has not received much love

I hope to be reborn in a happy family in my next life.

I'm on tiptoe, I'm about to kick off the stool

"...you are just sick, it is not something to be ashamed of, you need professional guidance, you will recover!"

"Never hurt yourself, there will be many good things in your life, and the time that many people are looking forward to is what you easily abandon"

"Turn back, give yourself a chance, and give us a chance!"

I opened my eyes and saw the gentle face of the doctor on the screen. When I came back to my senses, I realized that I had already burst into tears.

I still walked out of the knot, dragged the stool away, sat in front of the TV, and played the short passage of several doctors back and forth with the remote control

The sky outside the window was gradually dimming, I stayed alone, staring at the TV screen stubbornly and earnestly, until the light of the fireflies shone on my face, I washed my face and went to sleep

The third time, it didn't die again...

But the next day I contacted the psychiatrist and she was patient and sympathetic and gave me some medicine and lots of helpful advice

Gradually, I began to emerge from the shadows, realizing that all this was just a hill I was about to climb, just climb it, and it was no different from every previous problem.

I sincerely thank this doctor, when I was floating alone in the sea, she stretched out her hand and pulled me back gently, without even seeking any profit

A doctor with such a benevolent heart deserves the sincere respect of others

If nothing happened later, maybe I would have survived and had a happy family and a fulfilling life just like everyone else

But one day it all broke

I don't know why, those who have sought psychological help were all exposed on the Internet, and then a well-known doctor stood up and said indifferently that there is no cure for these people, and even if they get close, they will be infected with the same pessimism as them mood

Our medical associations and doctors did not protect our privacy and lives as they promised!

On the contrary, they stung the humble and disturbed hearts of all of us, and single-handedly contributed to our death

From that day on, more and more people committed suicide, and the whole city seemed to be full of blood from the inside out

smell of blood

My illness is almost healed, except for labor pains, I don't have any other thoughts

I thought that as long as I was persistent enough and thick-skinned enough, I could still live on.

But other people ruined all my fantasies, walking on the street, people pointed at me, good friends, they carefully tested my situation in various ways, and tried to give me some help

There were a few large characters clearly written on my face, "Vicious dogs are infested and may bite people"

By the way, add a few more words, "This is a small teacup dog that is not as powerful as you guys"

So they can help and trample us as much as they can!

Ordinary people keep secrets about me, as if they will contract some great disease if they get close; kind-hearted people try to test me again and again, wanting to hear my pain from the bottom of their hearts; Contempt, think that weak people are not worthy of living in the world

But I didn't ask any of them to do this, I said many times, I'm fine, my illness is cured!

But no one listens and no one believes it!

How sad that I'm sick again, this time in a serious way

But my heart is still full of hope, bearing in mind the words the doctor told me, and accepting everything about myself sincerely.

I ended up in a mental hospital after cutting my wrist twice by mistake

I'm not sure if I'm crazy

It seems crazy, or why would you want to kill yourself?

There are a lot of my kind here, they were all taken in recently, most of them can communicate with me normally, and there are a few others who were healed like me but were driven crazy by this world

There are iron nets and anti-theft windows everywhere, no TV, no communication tools, we are like living on a small island isolated from the world

On the night of the thirtieth, we planned an escape together

Run out of the mental hospital with a torch, kick away the crowd who blocked us, smash down its gate, and burn it to the ground

I only looked back once in the night when the fire was burning, and there were many people like me laughing and being electrocuted and collapsed on the dirty dirt

I didn't respond, the excitement hit my brows, and even my toes trembled

We dispersed according to the plan, silently lurking in the city, my heart became more and more excited, I licked the tip of my tongue, as if I felt a little fun of being a neurotic.

That night, we occupied the entire city, and the world finally no longer only has the voices of optimistic and positive people

Instead they huddle at home and we party in the city

Everyone can do what he wants to do. Some people jump off a building, some people go to the beach overnight, some people run in the streets like headless chickens, and they don't know what they are escaping. It seems that there are thousands of troops chasing after them, but they is the final winner.

I was also extremely excited, the building of Haitian Building didn't even have time to lock, there was no one in the building, it was pitch black, at this moment I no longer had the slightest fear, I pressed the elevator to the seventh floor with a smile

The place where that lunatic named Sudong was going to speak last time

"Tonight, it's time for my speech"

I looked at my reflection in the glass and said rather narcissistically

In the boundless night, a voice slowly resounded in the central square

"I hope I'm just like everyone else!"

Standing in the dark room, Wang Ming said these words calmly and seriously

"I hope those who care about me will stop asking me, what's wrong with you? Why did you become like this?"

"I hope you don't always worry about me or be afraid of me, as if I am such a special existence."

"I'm fine, I just feel pain occasionally, it doesn't hurt others, and my pain is not a humble disease, I have no obligation to accommodate everyone's judgment!"

The wind blowing sound gradually calmed Su Dong down. He stood still on the side of the road, turned his head to look at the building where people in full armor had poured in, and ran towards the crowded place at high speed.

When he arrived, the lunatic inside had been sedated and knocked down, and the black crowd passed in front of him, reflecting in the night with the colorful lights of the escort cars

Su Dong took a slight breath, looked at the still empty building, and sighed suddenly from the bottom of his heart

After doing such a thing by myself, Seagull City has still come to this point!

He only has endless anger. Why did the government and the doctor betray the agreement again?Why again and again hurt those fragile people?

But what else can I do?He is not the protagonist, and the burden of changing the world is not on his shoulders! !

Crazy laughter kept ringing from every corner, and the whole city became panicked

Su Dong raised his head and looked at this helpless night. The models he had built up in his heart at the beginning all collapsed at this moment. Everything did not happen as he imagined, and everyone's direction was out of his control.

Walking on the road in a daze, his figure is slender and independent, but at this moment, he is like a wild ghost who has lost his soul, with his shoulders slumped, as if nothing can support this remnant body

Those crazy people kept passing by him, and the sound of scolding and scuffling kept ringing in his ears, but Su Dong was completely numb. He was thinking urgently, but he couldn't think of one thing he could do for these people

In the end, he also ran in front of those extremely excited people like crazy, grabbed their bodies, and pulled them back without saying a word. The result in exchange could only be kicking or beating again and again.

He refused to give up, and ran to the guards who symbolized justice, grabbed their uniforms, and said something panicked in his mouth, but those guards backed away after seeing the approaching people, all fearful and disgusted staring at him

Su Dong was standing in the middle of the road, seeing those people wrestling non-stop in front of him, a night full of violence everywhere, he suddenly burst into laughter!

He turned his head helplessly, forgetting all those voices, because he knew he couldn't save anyone

These people are like two lakes that refuse to merge, stubbornly turning their heads and galloping away in different directions, trying to forcibly carve out two roads from the land for them to drive, but the lake occupies only One piece, there's only one winner tonight

These people can't be saved

He laughed wildly and cried again

This night, he spent in front of He Hongwei's grave.

The author has something to say: I just saw a very interesting sentence on Baidu.

"It's the pain you want to end, not the life"