tenderness

That year was the most difficult year I have ever survived. I don't know how I got there, and I don't even want to look back on that time.One of my promising game planning projects was stolen by a colleague and sent to another company. I couldn’t explain why when faced with doubts from the leaders. Not to mention being demoted, I even had the possibility of staying in the job for inspection.

I can only choose to spend all day drinking to relieve my worries. The various pressures in my work and life make me no longer want to deal with the world. A nearby hand clapped my shoulder.

It's him.

"Everything will pass, our time will definitely come, I will accompany you to the end."

Back then, he said this to me. In fact, he also fulfilled his promise, at least during those days.Seeing me use wine to numb my nerves, take away the bottle in my hand half-forced and half-tenderly, in a trance, I have forgotten how he stayed with me and endured my temper that others couldn't bear, just remember the phrase "Stay with me until the end" .

So far, it is still unforgettable.

Later, the colleague who stole my game planning project somehow figured it out, and I didn’t know how to explain it to the leader. In short, my crisis was temporarily resolved. It was also during that time that my relationship with him began to get closer and closer. Gradually I found myself dependent on him, on a man of my age.

I was panicked when this idea appeared. As for the reason, even if I don’t say it, I believe everyone can understand it. Although it is absurd, but one day this kind of dependence will turn into an unknown feeling, it will be bad. I I'm not gay, not to mention that I don't have any yearning for love, how can I have feelings for the same sex?I recorded all this in my diary, but I also let the situation develop again and again.

It is unrealistic to say that they are not tempted. After all, two people seem to live together with each other, and they are still taken care of by him. How can it be regarded as love for a long time? When I acquiesced to this fact with a wry smile, it was the day before he left About half a year, counting it, we have been renting together for 5 years. To sum it up in a vivid way, we really get along day and night.

In the first two years of co-renting, we went our own way, and we can’t say we had no contact. I refused to get close to him and was used to being alone, so he took the initiative to take care of me, not to mention cooking and other things, including those at work. He saw that my complexion was not good, so he would come to persuade me, so that in the middle two years, I also got used to this kind of tenderness unique to him, and the relationship between the two began to improve until the last year, I realized the inexplicable feelings towards him, but that annoying guy asked to quit the co-tenancy at this time, no matter how humble I tried to persuade him to stay, he just didn't give me this face.

It’s really different from him all the time. Should I thank him for his cruel departure so that I didn’t fall into that abnormal relationship, or should I resent him for making me think about it repeatedly and never forget it?