You said as long as we are careful enough

Anyone with such a tendency, even knowing nothing about such sexual behavior, will then be kidnapped by the abuser (usually the attacker) for various reasons and forcibly use various tools for sexual abuse.

I remember that the first time I saw something about BDSM was in an original Danmei article by a famous writer (I can’t remember the author and title of the article, I just remember it was a famous author on Jinjiang) I just I remember that the protagonist is the owner of a sexual abuse club (similar to the setting of "Star House", yes I also read some of this cartoon at the time) or a trainer or something (I later learned that it is called a professional Dom), and then there is One day, a rich and powerful little Gong came and said to the boss: My Shou Shou is not obedient, you take care of him for me.Then the boss tied up Xiaoshou and said to him: I will whip you with a whip, and then I will count and whip you ten times as my punishment.Then the boss started smoking Xiaoshou, but Xiaoshou just refused to admit his mistake (or gave in, I can’t remember the specific content of the compromise) and then the boss kept smoking, but every time he smoked it was not 'one , two, three...' counts like this, but only counts 'one' every time you draw.Then, after a lot of pumping, Xiaoshou couldn't hold it anymore, and finally gave in, probably because it hurt too much.Then I clearly remember that the boss said something that I couldn't understand all the time. He said to Shou: "Do you know what the core of BDSM is? The core of BDSM is 'trust'."

To be honest, I don’t remember the rest of the article. It can be said that I forgot it after reading it, or I didn’t read the article at all, but I always remember this sentence.Because I still can't understand what their behavior has to do with the word trust?How did this trust come about?

As a person who is interested in psychology, I can't understand through the laws of human psychology. When a person forcibly binds you up and beats you, beats you repeatedly, and keeps implying you through behavior, he will never stop treating you. This kind of injury, unless you succumb to his despotic power, you still have to have a sense of trust in him or the person who sent you here to be beaten. (At that time, in my understanding, it was as incomprehensible as forcing a person to be a sex slave, whipping him constantly, and asking him to trust his slave master.)

Later, I encountered countless articles about forced sexual abuse and claiming that this is BDSM, until I left the original BL circle and went to the European and American fandom.With a little bit of professional advantage, I quickly came into contact with English colleagues through translations, and then came across quite a few articles with BDSM elements or content.It was only then that I remembered the definition of BDSM mentioned in the sadomasochism cultural psychology books I read-sex games.That's when I began to understand that there are at least three basic and most important principles of a truly normal and healthy BDSM relationship:

1.Informed consent (referring to both parties voluntarily and fully understanding the content of the game and discussing the content of the game in advance)

2.Safe and enjoyable (meaning that both parties must play games in a safe and controllable environment, and both parties are physically and mentally happy)

3.Security word (refers to a secret code agreed by both parties in advance, so that the abused party can stop the game at any time)

So far, I know that the phrase "trust at the core of BDSM" is not wrong, nor is it incomprehensible. It's just that the so-called BDSM in the things I read before is actually nothing more than sexual assault, but it's just Japanese "training". Putting on a so-called BDSM shell, the attacker just treats the recipient as a personality slave or an inflatable doll, and there is no so-called "trust" core at all.

So far, I also understand why there are so many foreign fans and works in foreign languages ​​on the BDSM theme.Because, it is the word "trust" in its core that allows everyone to experience the resonance of the body and mind (of course, only a healthy and equal BDSM relationship has this charming feature).

So, on the same night many years later, when I saw that the Evanstan fanfic still had a large number of the same kind of fanfic I had seen labeled as BDSM, the actual sexual assault and the content were painful, emotionally unemotional and romanticized, I I just thought, maybe I should look for a real and healthy Evastan BDSM relationship and translate it for everyone to read, so that everyone can understand the setting of BDSM relationship, and let everyone see that healthy and normal BDSM is not Forced sexual abuse or sexual assault is actually a happy sexual game for both parties.Whether it exists only in the bedroom, in a romantic relationship, or a way of life, it is just a form of sex. Its core and starting point should be love, trust, equality and happiness.Just like any other form of sex.

So, I found the article "Be Careful" which can almost be used as a popular science textbook for BDSM, and with the encouragement of Sister Dan Que, I completed the translation, even though I experienced many difficulties and slanders of Two-dimensional and three-dimensional in the middle.I am personally satisfied with the final result. I have seen that many readers who originally rejected the BDSM theme gained a new understanding and understanding of BDSM through this article, and no longer reject this theme or like this story or this theme.And this is the original purpose of my translation of this article, and it is also the original reason for the author of this article to write this article - to hope that more people will have more and more correct understanding of BDSM.

Finally, the same sentence: BDSM is not rape! BDSM is not sexual harm! BDSM is sex games! BDSM can also be sweet and loving!

Special thanks to Sister Dan Que for supporting me all the time!Without her, this article would not have ended today!I also thank the readers who liked this article for their support!scattered flowers!

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