slow and quick

After Zhou Ya and the others went out, Ji Lin sat there for a long time.

Looking at his desktop, he was in a daze.

Until someone outside the dormitory sang loudly, "It is said that you are willing to be stranded for love, and I can also dive into the sea for you" passing by.

Ji Lin woke up suddenly as if he had been slapped in the face.

Then I found myself sitting there for more than 40 minutes.

He gritted his teeth, rubbed his face, trying to keep himself from thinking wildly.

Unable to find anything to do left and right, after hesitating for a moment, Ji Lin opened the game again.

He also occasionally goes online at home these few days. Although the leveling speed is still very slow, he has been practicing levels so slowly, and now he is level 68.

After finishing the last task, let him go to Qutang Gorge.

I came here last night to open the map, and I haven't started the task yet.

Ji Lin took the task and started running all over the map.

While playing monsters boredly, while watching the NPC shouting on the map.

While scanning, a person suddenly appeared beside him out of thin air.

Exactly where he was.

Ji Lin was taken aback, and took a step to the side before separating this person's ID from his own.

Then I found out that it was Jian Qingshan.

This is really destined to die.

Ji Lin was happy, so he called Jian Qingshan nearby and said good afternoon.

As a result, as soon as the word was sent out, the green mountain had already flown away, and I don't know if I saw it or not.

Ji Lin hesitated for a while, opened the friend list, and sent a friend request to Chaojian Qingshan.

After a while, it was passed.

See Aoyama:?

Ji Lin smiled and replied to him: I just saw you next to me and said hello to you, but you may not have seen it.

Zheng Man looked through the message list suspiciously and found it.

So he replied: I was doing a task, I didn't pay attention just now.

After Ji Lin left, he happened to receive a message from the professor, asking him if he was free, so he came over to help.

After Zheng Man passed by, he found out that he was asked to move things.

The professor smiled very kindly, and said that he originally asked his grandson to come and move it, but his grandson just answered the phone and said that his friend came to play with him, so the professor let him go.

"He told me to wait for him to come back before moving, but children, once they start playing, who knows when they will come back." The professor explained to Zheng Man with a smile.

The teaching assistant went back to his hometown on vacation. Among these students, the professor preferred Zheng Man, so he called him here.

There weren't many things, Zheng Man helped, and it didn't take long to finish moving.

The old professor also invited him to have a snack, saying that he originally bought it for his grandson, but Zheng Man did his job, so the reward was given to him.

Zheng Man wanted to laugh, took the snack, and thanked the old professor.

He originally wanted to go out with the professor, but the professor told him not to bother, and let him go back to the dormitory, and it would be fine to go home by himself.

Zheng Man nodded and came back.

He put the snacks on the table and went to take a shower first.

After washing, I opened the dessert and saw that it was a strawberry layer cake.

very beautiful.

Zheng Man took a picture and smiled.

It's what Ji Lin likes to eat.

Thinking of Ji Lin, his relaxed mood became a little heavier again.

He exhaled, put down the phone, rewrapped the cake, and put it in the refrigerator before sitting back, turning on the computer, and playing the game.

Then unexpectedly, by such a coincidence, I met this Xiaobai again.

Ji Lin was puzzled: I saw you popping up out of nowhere.

See Aoyama: Yes.

Jian Qingshan: I was offline before, and I just went online.

Hayate: Oh oh.

Then there was silence again.

Zheng Man clicked on the water spirit bead, and then rushed to the next location.

On the other side, Ji Yan accidentally found a bunch of monsters in the skill group, and quickly started running with the monsters.

He ran all the way and rushed to the bottom of the cliff.

He originally wanted to fly with lightness kungfu, but because he was still fighting, he failed with lightness kung fu, and fell to his death on the cliff.

blast:……

See Aoyama:?

Gale: I just fell to my death (pig head)

Zheng Man smiled and replied: Be careful.

Hayate: Yes, yes.

Then Zheng Man made a perfect human figure to collect fairy grass and search for dragon veins, click on Shenxing, and was about to go to Yangzhou, when he saw the news of Gale again flashing on the secret chat channel.

Gale: I fell to my death again.

Just as Zheng Man was about to reply, the divine journey had already started and entered the picture passing screen.

After he landed, he immediately responded to Gale: When you land, you can do a little light work or a double jump, so that you won't fall to your death.

Ji Lin looked at the line and was dumbfounded.

After a long while, I asked another silly question: What are Xiao Qinggong and Double Jump?

See Aoyama: ...

He remembered, this is Xiaobai.

Xiaobai doesn't understand, it's normal.

Sighing, Zheng Man explained to him again.

Gai Feng seemed to have tried it, and only replied after a while, happily saying to him: I have learned it!Thanks man!

Zheng Man somehow wanted to laugh.

He replied: It's not a boss, it's just that I played a little longer than you.

He paused, and then sent another sentence to Haifeng: If you don't understand anything, you can ask me if I'm online.

There was a string of thanks.

It seems very sincere.

And very moved.

It made Zheng Man a little embarrassed.

Actually it didn't help much.

He turned on his phone and looked, and that idiot Ji Lin never sent a message.

Zheng Man typed on the chat bar: Have you been to school yet?

I wanted to send it, but I endured it again.

He turned off the phone, exhaled, and returned to the computer.

Gale gradually rose from level 68 to level 69. When he opened the friend list, he happened to see it.

Zheng Man remembered what he had said to him before, and asked him: Have you looked for Master?

Generally speaking, if you have a master, you shouldn't be such a noob, right?

Xiaobai has reached this level, even a master who is a little more attentive can't help teaching him.

Then got the answer, sure enough no.

See Aoyama: ...

See Aoyama: Why not look for it?

Seeing this question, Ji Lin froze for a moment.

After being silent for a while, I replied: I am afraid that Master will be fooled away by me.

See Aoyama: Pfft.

Zheng Man looked at the game interface for a long time, and the thought in his head became deeper and deeper, and finally he couldn't help it anymore, and asked him: "Then do you want me to be your teacher?"

Ji Lin was stunned.

Jian Qingshan: But I don’t really know how to play, so there is very little I can teach you.

Ji Lin was a little hesitant at first, but when he saw what he said, he immediately began to express his opinion, expressing that he didn't dislike it at all, and sent a series of willingness and willingness.

The master-student relationship is thus confirmed.

Zheng Man was fine anyway, so he went to the trading house first, and then asked Gaifeng to call him.

When you arrive at the location, teach him the skills, give him a bag and a pair of little green riders, and two thousand gold.

Ji Lin was a little anxious and said he couldn't accept it.

Zheng Man was happy, and explained to him that other masters would give it to him, and it was not expensive.

Jian Qingshan: I wanted to buy you a dragon son, but your master and I don't have much money, so let's make do with Xiaolu first.

Ji Lin, who didn't know what Longzi was at all, was stunned.

Can you ride a dragon in this game?

He suppressed the embarrassment of being a country bumpkin who went to the city to make a name for himself, and pretended to be calm and replied: It's okay, thank you, Master!Thank you so much!

After changing into the bag, Ji Lin's backpack finally had an empty space.

So I happily started picking up trash again.

Seeing that Qingshan followed him, he accompanied him to fight monsters for a while, level up, and waited for a long time. He felt that the apprentice was too slow to complete the task, so he asked him if he wanted to level up by leveling up.

Jian Qingshan: Just follow me, just remember to reset the secret realm.

Ji Lin is not picky at all, and whatever the master says is what he says.

but……

Haifeng: What does it mean to reset the secret realm? (pig head)

He was very self-aware and marked himself a pig's head.

Zheng Man was silent for a while, then smiled and explained to him the secret realm and reset secret realm, and the two happily went to brush the copy.

In the beginning, Blast followed him and kept picking things up.

Zheng Man didn't care.

Then after swiping it a dozen times, Haifeng asked again: Master, what should I do if my backpack is full again?

See Aoyama:?

He was a little puzzled, and asked what was in Gale's backpack.

After teaching him how to paste items, he saw that Gale had pasted a bunch of tatters.

See Aoyama: ...

He had a headache, and said to the silly apprentice: "The gray items can be sold directly to the store, although I think it's better if you don't pick them up. Except for the equipment of your own school, you can also sell all the equipment to the store."For things like materials, you can see if they are useful, and put them in the warehouse.

Hayate: Okay!Thank you Master!

After a few seconds.

Hayate: Where is the warehouse?

Zheng Man's head is getting bigger.

Sighed again, took him to Yangzhou after the fight, and told him some basic NPCs and functions.

Messenger, Warehouse Manager, Trading House, Five Elements Stone Merchant, Guild Territory...

Haifeng: Huh?I can't get into guild territory.

Zheng Man was dumbfounded.

Why can't I get in?

He told Gaifeng again, watched him click, but still couldn't get in.

Then let Haifeng tell him what the head of the gang territory said.

Haifeng: Say I don't have a gang.

Zheng Man: ...

What a godlike apprentice this is.

With a headache, he pulled his apprentice to his guild, took him for a walk around the guild territory, told him how to do mission upgrades in the guild territory, and then went offline exhausted, saying that he would upgrade him tomorrow.

The apprentice obediently said goodbye, and Zheng Man went offline dejectedly.

Feeling hollowed out.

He heard the phone ring, picked it up and saw that it was already eight o'clock in the evening.

The roommate said that he would not come back tonight, and asked if he would bring him something to eat tomorrow morning.

Zheng Man replied thank you, no need, and quit WeChat.

Then click in again.

He stared at Ji Lin's head portrait for a long time.

Finally let go of myself and sent him a message.

Ji Yan was still watching the poisonous man eating vegetables in the gang territory, in a daze, when he heard the sound of the new news, he came back to his senses, clicked on it, it was Zheng Man.

He quickly straightened his waist and clicked on the message.

Then he shrank his fingers timidly.

To be honest, Zhou Yan's two friends really had a great impact on him.

One is an eye-opener, and the other is...

A kind of hope arose, and I couldn't help but wonder if he and Zheng Man could actually do the same...

Of course, it doesn't mean being friends with benefits.

What the big eyes said, you can tell it's nonsense as soon as you hear it.

He was just wondering if he could, one day, be able to hold hands with Zheng Man, take a walk somewhere, and talk.

Don't pretend to be just friends, don't hide, don't hide.

Tell others openly that I am gay and this is my lover.

We are in love.

This thought hovered in his mind, disturbing his restlessness.

Like a pebble, no, a boulder, thrown into his sea.

Smash a large basket of water flowers.

The water splashed on his face, it was cold, but it made the heart beat like thunder.

While he couldn't help imagining such a beautiful scene, he couldn't help feeling ashamed of himself.

Sun Yijun laughed at him, asking what he was afraid of.

Ji Lin couldn't answer.

He kept asking himself, what are you afraid of?

What are you afraid of?

Why are you so timid?

He wanted to justify himself, saying that it was because he and Manman were not a couple.

Even if he dared to tell others that he was gay, it was useless, he and Manman were still not together.

Not really.

He's just timid.

He is afraid that Manman will become Taozi's cousin.

At the same time, he is also afraid of becoming himself.

That's why it's so easy to back down.

Because he is a coward.

Man Man said no, so he backed away.

It wasn't because Manman didn't allow it, but because he was afraid.

I am afraid that I will not be able to carry the future, and I am afraid that I will be defeated.

You can give yourself an excuse by backing down, saying that this is a wise choice, this is the best result, and this is decided by both Manman and me.

But it's actually timid.

Yan Caiwei was right, he was just a coward.

Afraid of being defeated, afraid of being unable to protect Manman, afraid of facing the rejection of parents, afraid of being disgusted by others, and afraid of the unknown future.

He was afraid of so many things.

So much so that this love is mixed with all kinds of impurities.

Such love, such self.

He didn't have the face to hand it to Manman.

Not to mention courting Manmansuo.

He is not worthy to love at all.

He once wanted to be a knight and wanted to protect his little prince.

Only now did he suddenly realize that he couldn't lift the sword at all.

He was wearing tattered armor, rusted and totally ill-fitting.

Reluctantly standing there, desperately unable to pull out the sword.

He is not a dragon-slaying warrior.

Before the dragon came to him, he was already trembling.

Where is such a useless warrior?

His little prince, standing among the thorns, looked at him.

But he hid in the comfortable palace, panicking about the invisible way ahead, shouting "I will save you!" In fact, he dared not take a single step.

So cowardly.

For the first time, he faced his cowardice so intuitively.

When someone stood in front of him and said "I am gay" as a matter of course, he realized how cowardly he was.

How embarrassing it looks.

He has always said before that this society does not accept homosexuality, my parents do not accept my sexual orientation, and my heart is not accepted.

I hid in the castle, because only in this way can I not hurt my parents, and only in this way can Manman not be covered in bruises when faced with gossip.

As long as I hide, I'll be safe.

Manman is safe, mom and dad are safe, and I am safe too.

He blamed the injustice in this society, more than everyone's discrimination against different sexual orientations.

He put himself in the position of an underdog.

Then, as a weak person, he comforted himself.

It's not my fault, it's not that I didn't do well enough, it's that the society doesn't let me do well.

Thought it would be safe.

You can feel at ease.

But not.

He didn't feel a moment's peace.

When he feels his own heart beating every moment for the one he loves.

When you see Man Man alone and alone.

When I dreamed back in the middle of the night, it was always when my parents yelled at him ferociously, scolded him for being a pervert, and told him to die.

When Manman was crying outside the hotel that day like the sky was falling.

He has no peace.

Pressing down and blaming the world will not make him peaceful.

There is always a corner in my heart, where I sneer at him.

Said he was a piece of shit.

Now, the voice in this corner is no longer inaudible.

It resounded through his world like thunder.

I was yelling at him, saying he was weak and incompetent, that he would just pass the buck.

Ji Yan looked at the message from Zheng Man, and tears fell on the screen in big drops.

He hated it, hated himself for being so weak.

He kept running around in the game, chatting with Master non-stop.

Try to keep yourself from thinking about it.

But sure enough, people's thoughts cannot be suppressed if they want to.

No matter how you escape, you can't escape the sanction in your heart.

He is like a criminal being brought to court, facing his own heart, he has nothing to hide.

Kneeling there, counting his crimes in detail.

He covered his ears, trying not to listen.

As soon as the word Zheng Man appeared, he had nowhere to hide.

He could only let himself be sentenced to death.

He stared at the sentence sent by Manman, his heart ached so much that it was about to tear open.

He has a lot to say to Zheng Man.

Say sorry, say I love you.

Said that if I can face my heart directly, if I can no longer be weak, can I still go to you.

Can you wait for me?

I already know I'm wrong, I know where I'm wrong, is there a chance for me to correct it?

is there time?

Will you wait for me?

can i do itCan I really go up to you?

Could it be that I was devoured by the dragon halfway?

If I can't get in front of you...

Ji Lin covered his eyes and breathed heavily.

If I can't walk in front of you, should I still tell you I love you?

If I said I love you, but betrayed us.

How can I say I love you like that?

He really wanted to say bravely that he was absolutely capable, would definitely be able to carry it, would definitely be able to defeat the dragon, and would definitely bring his little prince to the castle he built for the little prince safe and sound.

But Ji Lin couldn't do it.

He knows how scared he is.

"It was as if I were still a child."

"Why am I still a child?"

"Growing up is so hard."

He used to hate others treating himself as a child, and kept emphasizing that I am not a child anymore.

When he first came into contact with how terrifying the "adult" world was, his first reaction was to hide.

Cover the greenhouse, hide in the castle, close the door, and dare not face the scenery outside the window.

I kept saying to myself: I'm still a child, I'm just a child, I shouldn't bear this.

And now, he finally realizes that he can't be a child forever.

There is no way a child can protect anyone.

You can't protect yourself, you can't protect the people you love.

Children need protection from others.

Children only ask.

The endless demands made him feel sick.

I hate myself like this.

Like a nasty parasite.

And there has never been a free lunch in the world.

Everything he asked for was clearly marked.

Everything that seems safe is marked with a price.

He has to be well-behaved and obedient in order to be loved by his parents.

He has to be no different from others in order to be accepted by everyone.

There is never injustice, everything is fair.

It's just that he wasn't lucky enough.

He has been lucky.

Safe and healthy growth, a harmonious, friendly and peaceful family, and a relaxed and united collective.

But not so lucky.

Because the person he likes is not a sexual orientation recognized by the general public.

He resented the society for it.

But only resentment.

While hating, while catering to.

He hates that society is not good enough for him.

Not good enough for the gay collective.

But he didn't even dare to stand up and say, "I'm gay, and I don't feel ashamed. Sexual orientation doesn't determine who I am."

He only dared to hide there, dreaming of the dream of "if our society can accept homosexuality".

He did nothing.

But now, facing a greeting from Man Man, his subconscious first reaction was to ask Man Man if he could wait for him.

How ridiculous, his first reaction was himself.

Fear of losing your wish.

When you haven't done anything, just when you have a thought of "I don't want to continue like this", you start to ask for it.

So selfish.

Ji Lin never knew that he was so selfish and disgusting.

Before he started studying, he would not go to the teacher and ask if the No.1 scholarship could be reserved for himself.

But before he has done anything, he actually wants to ask Manman if he can keep the lover's place for himself.

Even he himself couldn't help laughing at his face as big as a cow.

Ji Lin wiped away her tears, deleted the words in the chat box, edited them again, and replied to Zheng Man: Here we are.

Zheng Man hesitated for a while, and asked him, "Have you changed your pants?"

When he left, Zheng Man asked him to change his pants when he returned to the dormitory.

Because the jeans had been chafing at his knees and bleeding.

Ji Yan glanced at the jeans he was still wearing, sniffed, and replied, "It's changed."

Zheng Man was suspicious: "Really?"

Ji Lin was about to type, when a video was sent directly over there.

Ji Lin was taken aback, and wanted to refuse, but when he touched his hand, he pressed to answer.

As soon as the video was connected, Zheng Man saw Ji Lin's crying face.

He froze for a moment, and Ji Lin quickly turned his head away.

Zheng Man's fingertips felt like they had been stung by a needle, and it hurt so much.

He gritted his teeth, forced himself to calm down, and asked Ji Lin, "Have you changed your pants?"

Ji Lin pulled a few pieces of toilet paper, wiped his face indiscriminately, and replied stiffly: "It's changed."

Zheng Man: "Oh, then show me."

Ji Lin: "..."

He burst into laughter with a snot bubble, and quickly wiped it off. With a nasal voice, he admitted in a low voice: "Actually, it hasn't been changed."

Zheng Man still said: "Really? I don't believe it, show me."

Ji Lin cut the video to the rear, and showed Zheng Man a look at his trousers, which reached his thigh.

Still wearing the same pair of jeans from the afternoon.

Zheng Man pursed her lips, and said to him angrily, "It won't hurt you to death. If the scar is still there, can't you learn to be good? Is it so difficult to change a pair of pants?"

Ji Lin hummed, lowering his eyes in embarrassment.

Zheng Man ordered again: "Cut the front."

Ji Lin muffled: "No."

Zheng Man: "?"

Against you?

Dare to talk back?

He frowned: "Hurry up!"

Ji Lin continued to be stubborn: "No."

Zheng Man: "?"

Ji Lin murmured for a moment before whispering to him: "I don't want to show you what I look like now, it's embarrassing."

"I haven't seen you so embarrassing?" Zheng Man rolled his eyes.

But in the end still did not force him.

After a long silence, Zheng Man spoke again: "Don't cry."

Hearing this, Ji Lin laughed, and the tears in his eyes were also squeezed out.

He erased it hastily, and said shamelessly: "I didn't cry."

Zheng Man looked at the other side of the video, the ground of Ji Lin's dormitory, and said casually, "Then what was in your eyes just now?"

Ji Lin said nonsense in a serious manner: "It's saliva. The saliva came out of the eyes."

Zheng Man was angry and funny: "I think it's cat urine."

Ji Lin retorted: "It's saliva!"

Both of them wanted to laugh. After a while, Zheng Man took a deep breath and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

Ji Lin said stiffly: "It's drooling."

Zheng Man's expression was a little serious.

He scratched the scroll wheel of the mouse unconsciously with his fingers, and it took him a long time to reply: "The pants hurt so much, I'm crying."

He smiled and begged Zheng Man in a low voice: "Don't laugh at me."

Of course Zheng Man knew it couldn't be the reason.

He stared there for a long time before finally retracting his gaze: "Crybaby."

Ji Lin chuckled lightly.

Then answer: "Well, I'm a crybaby."