male god

# 1 #

The end of September this year was a bit cold.

I saw a very special... boy.I'm so sorry, for a while, I couldn't find a better adjective to describe the feeling of seeing him for the first time.

He was very white, a healthy white with a pinkish tint.He has very dark and bright eyes, he seemed to glance at me inadvertently, I actually felt very nervous, I felt my heart beat faster, he was so...beautiful, I imagined that he would smile at me, although he didn't .His eyes are very cold, as cold as his temperament, but they are particularly attractive to me.

He seems to be listening to a song, I really want to know what he is listening to, and I also want to show him the song I wrote myself.I felt the heat in my chest, uncontrollably running around with emotions I had never felt before, I was a little flustered, and suddenly I didn't dare to look at his face.

I wonder what he looks like when he smiles.

I realized, am I in love with him?He is a boy...

# 2 #

I ran into him again today.

He is in class one, sitting by the window, very quiet, and likes to read books very much.He seems to have cut his hair and looks more delicate than before.

When school was over, I walked a little slower than before. Tian Yu and my cousin kept urging me, and I felt a little guilty.I guess he should be a slow person, and I might run into him if I leave later.Sure enough, I saw him.

He seemed friendless, alone.I almost couldn't hold it back, and wanted to go up and make friends with him, but I suddenly felt a little unconfident.I was afraid of being rejected by him, so I only dared to look at him from a distance.I feel like I'm very weak, I never thought that I would have a crush on someone, or a boy I don't know the name of.

He still listens to music with headphones on, I'm a bit jealous of those singers he likes.I think one day, I want him to turn over and over, and the songs he likes to listen to the most are all my songs.

I feel sour in my heart, but seeing him feels a little sweet.I suspect that I am going to like him more and more, which is a bit bad.

Boys like boys, isn't it wrong?

# 3 #

I had a dream of...

I read his name over and over again, his beautiful body, crying face, bright red and soft lips... I longed for more, I rushed hard, and I felt strange desire/desire.

I know, I'm completely screwed.

# 4 #

I gave up struggling.

I saw my name and his name on the third grade list.Although his seat was a little far away from me, I was very happy.

I knocked over his book on purpose today while passing by his seat.I touched his hand, it was cool and soft.He also had a nice voice, and he smiled at me politely.

He smiles so nicely.

I once again dreamed that I was entangled with him, and the feeling of lust/celestial desire/death made me a little/addicted.I was afraid to get close to him, but I couldn't help but want to get closer.

If he knows what's on my mind... don't let him know for now.

# 5 #

I became tablemates with him, and I wondered if God was helping me too.

This year he has grown a lot taller, but he is still so thin.I found that he doesn't like breakfast and is a bit picky eater.

In fact, he has a very good personality and will help me write notes. I don’t know if it’s my illusion, but I found that he was peeking at me a few times.Does he think I'm fine, at least, maybe willing to be friends with me?

He must have something on his mind to be so indifferent to people.His Weibo trumpet often posts a #晚夜心情#, I really want to know why he is unhappy, but what identity should I use to ask him?

For the first time I felt stupid.

It doesn't matter, if you are close to the water, you get the moon first.What if he likes me?

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#END#