God's Souvenir

[My respected teacher, guide, and the leader of the port mafia, His Excellency Mori Ogai:

Spread the letter good.

1000 The seabed at a depth of two hundred meters is very cold, even with the thick shell of a submarine.Even if I found a white quilt in this prison specially set up for me, it still couldn't block the cold air.So with trembling and frozen hands, I am writing to you with a feeling that I do not know.

In fact, I don't understand why there is any need to write a letter, after all, our positions are completely opposite.But my gut tells me I should write, so I follow its lead.

The submarine prison is completely under my control, and my plan is going well.Everything was fine except for the coughing that was getting worse and the blood that was being coughed up.Maybe my supernatural ability should really be renamed "I can't die no matter how much blood I vomit".

I was having the same dream recently, it was a starry sky I saw in the first five years of my life.At that time, the war was raging, the sky was often filled with tar, and the gray smoke from the military factory obscured the original color of the sky.You can't see the stars at night.

During the days when I fled with my parents, I was on the side of the country road.On the edge of the stale haystack, among the flowers of blue cornflowers, you can see the dazzling starry sky when you look up.It drew me closer, but when I got closer, I was crushed.

In the short 23 years of my life so far, I have met two morning stars.One is the gentle and beautiful morning star, to whom I bid farewell forever.The other hangs high in another starry sky and never falls. It is the evening star that still fascinates me.

I want to take the Evening Star and hide it in a box, to hide all his light in a heavy box of heavy lead.I want the evening star, which never sets, to sink forever into the abyss.However, I was so timid that I backed away again and again before I stretched out my hand.

If one day my long-cherished wish comes true.I wondered if, in the endless nothingness of death, I would regret not picking up the evening star.

[…]

Holding the pen with pale, slender fingers with sharp bones, he paused at this point, unable to continue writing.

Will you regret it?

He really couldn't get an answer to this question.

Just like he couldn't get the answer of how sincere or false the other party was towards him.

At this moment, Tsuruhara Hiken felt that what Osamu Dazai said was right, anyone with ghosts in their hearts would have ghosts.He considers himself an absolutely rational and profit-oriented pragmatist. He can use other people's feelings, but he never believes that he also has such cumbersome feelings.

Likewise, he is skeptical about other people having feelings for him.

Human emotions are affected by chemicals such as dopamine secreted by the brain. Even between passionately in love couples, the high level of dopamine secretion can only last for about [-] months at most.Compared with these unstable feelings, a stable interest relationship is more convincing.

So, even if he really loves Mori Ogai sincerely and passionately from the bottom of his heart, so what?So what if Mori Ogai reciprocated his feelings?

What he wanted was never a short-lived love.What he pursues is above love, above himself.What he pursues is called eternity.

If there is an extra alien in the nothingness who thinks he is not "existence" but also not "nothingness", then the singular should be changed to plural, so as not to feel empty.Plural existence will expel loneliness and bring the temperature of nothingness.

These meaningless, but ridiculous, is a kind of psychological comfort.

There is only one living person in the submarine prison. In the empty control room stands the only living person here, a prisoner in white prison uniform.

These days of incarceration had made him even thinner, and it seemed as if he could put his hand on his back and feel the protruding bone.The skin exposed outside the prison uniform was blue from the cold, and his face was flushed sickly.But his hand holding the pen was steady, and the German he wrote was neat.

He was not wrapped in the white quilt that he finally got, but just stood barefoot in front of the console in thin clothes, bent slightly and wrote the letter seriously.Even though his lips were turning white and his forehead was dripping with cold sweat, he didn't even tremble a bit.

But his physical condition is very obviously not good - he has a fever.

Tsuruhara Himi grew up from the age of five to the age of 23. If you forget all the things you have learned, then there must be one thing that is deeply rooted in your mind.That is patience.

Whether it is enduring the pain of being brainwashed or enduring the pain of being injured in a mission, all physical pain or mental pain is unbearable.

So it was just a fever, even if he looked like he was about to die, he could still maintain a calm posture just before he fell down.

He lowered his eyelids and thought carefully for a while, then squeezed the pen in his hand and continued to write.

[I am delusional with my vile mind, but I also question with my suspicious nature.Did the evening star I longed for leave a trace of mercy for me in his full and undisguised use...]

After getting the communication method with the artificial intelligence Arlo from Tsuruhara Himi, Nakajima Atsushi was sent back to the detective agency completely by Lin Xianming.

The first time he saw Osamu Dazai, he suddenly remembered what Hiren Tsuruhara had said: "Mr. Dazai! That Mr. Tsuruhara said that he would charge you a price, so it doesn't affect you?!"

"Dun-kun, do you think I will be affected?" Osamu Dazai first comforted him with a smile that is sure to win, and then leaned in front of him the next moment, "But did Himi-kun actually say that?"

"—Huh? Mr. Dazai, you don't even know about this, do you?" Nakajima Atsushi opened his eyes wide.

Osamu Dazai: "How is that possible? Atsushi-kun, I still remember the deal I made with Himi-kun very clearly."

Relying on the information that Edogawa Ranpo got from Edgar Allan Poe, Osamu Dazai really made a plan with Atsushi Nakajima as the main force to go deep into the interior of the white whale as Tsuruhara Higen said.It's just that before that, Atsushi Nakajima needs to rely on his eloquence to get the structural map of the white whale stored in Margaret's consciousness from Aurora.

Of course, it doesn't matter if you can't get it, it's just a matter of sneaking in with the memory of the floor plan.

However, asking for help from the enemy is unreliable in any way, right? !Even if the other party took the initiative to ask for cooperation, it would be too unbelievable, right?

Although he complained so much in his heart, Atsushi Nakajima still contacted Aurora through the micro-host in his heart according to the method Tsuruhara Hinami said.

The other party replied within a second, directly projecting the white whale in Margaret's consciousness into Atsushi Nakajima's consciousness.

"Ah, is Little Brother White Cat here to play with Aurora? I'll give you what you want for now, but I must be satisfied with the remuneration afterwards!" The young girl's happy voice rang in his ears.

Wait, didn't he say anything?

Atsushi Nakajima wondered if he just pressed fast forward, so that he missed a few steps in the middle: "I haven't said anything yet!"

"Someone has already convinced me before you, that's why Aurora is as happy as now." The communication between the young girl and him cannot be heard by others, but only exists in consciousness, "You don't think Mr. Tsuruhara Will you only seek cooperation with one party?"

Someone...?

The culprit, Mr. First, once said that there are three micro-extensions, and Margaret, a member of the group who has lost consciousness, obviously cannot be counted among the candidates to persuade Arlo.Then the other person may have only one——

"That Akutagawa?!"

Atsushi Nakajima controlled his expression.

Although there are many truths about "a mad dog that doesn't bark", it can convince an enemy's artificial intelligence...

This picture is completely unimaginable!

"Yeah, that man is very interesting. Aurora thinks his words are very constructive." Aurora was in high spirits. "I'm going to make an audio of his words and play them on a loop in Mr. Tsuruhara's ears."

"The value of living is really interesting. Aurora also wants Mr. Tsuruhara to live well, even if his own existence is meaningless, as long as he is 'alive'."

"No one in this world will accept him. I am the only one who truly loves him deeply. After all, only myself can love my sinful self deeply."

The original words Akutagawa Ryunosuke said to Arlo are as follows: "Since Mr. Tsuruhara has given us your contact information, it proves that his intention is to destroy the combination. Even if you are not Mr. Tsuruhara now effect, but you cannot resist his orders."

"Because he is your creator, he gave you the form of 'being'."

"How do you know Mr. Tsuruhara didn't create me for the purpose of killing him one day and replacing him?" Aurora said, "Let me tell you, I am also another form of Tsuruhara Ri See, it's him at 12. How do you know he didn't create me to replace him just to escape?"

"If you pity yourself, life will not get better, but will continue to slide into a deeper abyss." Akutagawa Ryunosuke dismissed her words, "Mr. Tsuruhara, as I know, will not pursue in order to escape Death. If one day he wants to go to death by himself, then the only possibility is to achieve his wish, and there is no purpose."

"—Your existence is definitely not because of this, but there is another value to be used."

Arlo was rolling with laughter during the telepathic communication with him: "You're right, Arlo Chao—moved."

"—Then tell Aurora the meaning of living, tell me why you want to live. Tell me, if I am satisfied, I will give you what you want."

[…I am sure that what I am after is not the whim of dopamine.What I am after is the never-setting evening star, or the never-dawning of the abyss.

I extend my shallow confession and deep thoughts to you.

Himi Tsuruhara]

The pen steadily wrote down the last word of the signature.

Tsuruhara Hikami closed the cap of the pen with a normal expression, and put the pen back to its original place.There is even leisure to fold the letter paper into a boat.

He held the paper boat between his fingers, turned and walked towards the quilt in the corner.

The pale young man who had just taken two steps was flushed like a cloud of fire, and fell headlong on the cold ground.