God's Souvenir

The blond-haired toddler was floating in the deep sea, his eyes were tightly closed, and he did not respond to external stimuli.Like a puppet that has lost its vitality.

It was a child who could tell at a glance that he had been spoiled and brought up.Delicate as a flower, fragile as a flower.

Even if you are born different from the people around you, you are born out of tune with the world.But under the protection of his mother, nothing can hurt him yet.

That is the past that has been abandoned and deliberately forgotten by the person concerned.

Standing in nothingness, Mori Ogai could see the dark deep sea through the door.It is also possible to see young children who died in the deep sea.

Not long ago, he was threatened by his student for personal revenge, but entered the other party's consciousness space by accident, and he often came to this place unknowingly after falling asleep.

He can know that that barrenness is the true appearance of Tsuruhara Himi's conscious space.And the other scenes that he can see are nothing more than the memories that have been tightly suppressed in the heart of the conscious owner.

He didn't know who was letting him see these visions, and he couldn't find a way to stop entering this space of consciousness.And he is very clear that if Tsuruhara Hinami, the owner of this place, finds him, he will definitely not be as polite as before.

After all, he already understood that the current Tsuruhara Higen is not so much a "Tsuruhara Higen", but rather Rosemani who uses the name "Tsuruhara Higen".The person is still the same person, but it is no longer the one he is most familiar with.

This was the first time he had truly seen the "creator" recorded in that document.

Created the "Island of August" single-handedly, and cleared all "unnecessary existence" according to his own ideas.A utopia that vainly tries to establish an absolute order with power, and a man-made god who hates wars, strife, and human evil.

Looking at him despite all appearances, he is just a 12-year-old kid.

But a child can already do things that most people can't do, and the despair and darkness in a child's heart can already drown adults.

He is not of this world.He didn't belong to the world he was in.

He was just standing in the isolation shell he created for himself, dividing himself and the world into a clear and distinct boundary.He hides in his enchantment, rejects the world by all means, and at the same time longs for someone who can break this shell and bring him to the sun.

But he couldn't wait for such a person.

Originally his mother could.But Lady Stephanie had died on the run, and all that was left was a replica of her son's memory of her.

Originally, Mori Ogai was fine too.

But Mori Ogai knew better than anyone else that he would never pull Tsuruhara Himi into the sun.Because even he himself is a creature living in darkness.A mole that has adapted to the dark will be killed by the sun.

Not everyone can return to the sunshine like Osamu Dazai and Kyoka Izumi.

He himself captured the monster, put him in chains, and nailed his feet into the ground.He despicably took advantage of the other party's carefully and fully paid feelings, bound him, enslaved him, and squeezed all the value that could be squeezed from him.

He knew it was called the fledgling complex.

A severely traumatized teenager struggles in an environment full of malice and defensiveness.In the indifference of everyone, only Mori Ogai stretched out his hand to him.

A chick that has just hatched will recognize the first life it sees as its mother. This is the imprint in ethology, also known as the first imprint.Similarly, for human beings, the first special person or special event they encounter will also form this first imprint.

For Tsuruhara Himi, Mori Ogai is the first special person he met in this world.

Although he didn't know the origin of the other party at that time, Mori Ogai still skillfully took advantage of this psychology.

He never seemed to have considered the possibility of this relationship going bad, everything was taken for granted.And the other party is too insensitive to his own feelings, and his calm attitude never leads to misunderstanding.

So by the time the catalyst was dropped, everything went haywire.

Before the age of 17, Tsuruhara Himi admired his teacher and was willing to be a knife in his hand. The tip of the knife would always face any enemy who dared to show his fangs to his teacher.Afterwards, Tsuruhara Hikami had a long period of memory emptied, and even though the feelings generated during that time were also erased, he still yearned irresistibly for the teacher.

No matter what kind of changes he undergoes, it will always be force majeure for Tsuruhara Hiken to fall in love with Mori Ogai.

Even if this love becomes distorted, no matter how painful his heart is.Even if he goes to hell, Mori Ogai will always be his curse.

And should the curse himself be proud of it?No, he was never proud of it.

Mori Ogai knew the despicableness of what he did, and he was not proud of his repeated use of the other party's behavior.But since he's the head of the port mafia, he's also a slave to the organization.When necessary, he can even sacrifice himself for this organization, let alone his own students.

No one is innocent, and no one is lucky.

They are all ghosts hidden in the dark, and they are all defeated dogs who have sacrificed a lot.No one has to sympathize with anyone, and no one has to laugh at anyone.

He loves the city of Yokohama, so he turned himself into a slave.In his eyes, Yokohama is supreme and the organization is supreme.Apart from that, there is nothing that cannot be discarded or used.

Perhaps it would be better for Tsuruhara Hiken to leave the port mafia and his never-ending exploits.

Just looking at it as a teacher, he doesn't want the other party to live for anyone.If the meaning of a person's life is only for a specific person, if he loses the courage to live without this specific person, then it is better to die in the first place.

If the meaning of Tsuruhara Hikami's life is only Mori Ogai, if the other party can't live without him Mori Ogai, then it's better to be killed by him when they first met.

What Mori Ogai wants is to give Tsuruhara Himi the meaning of life, not to be the meaning of his life.

Therefore, when Heyuan Rijian chose to defect and become his enemy.In addition to rationally analyzing the harm that the other party may cause, and making various countermeasures against the other party, perhaps he also has the comfort of some immature students who finally understand how to resist.

As long as this kind of growth can be obtained, then whether the other party is killed by oneself or oneself is killed by the other party, it is a sad and good result.

It's just that if the other party wants to cause irreparable harm to Yokohama.Then the result can only be that he kills the other party, and he will not allow any possibility other than this result to appear.

The part that is the leader is analyzing the pros and cons, and the part that is the teacher is gratifying the growth of the other party.So which part is feeling lost, slightly depressed and unhappy?

In other words, did he still have a position to feel unhappy?

"...Ah, it's so annoying. It seems that I can see you at any time?" A familiar but long-lost voice sounded from behind Mori Ogai.

It wasn't the youthful voice formed after the voice-changing period, nor was it the soft voice of Lori that I saw a few days ago.It was a little longer, the clear and crisp youthful voice that should be buried in memory.

There is no lifelessness after a great change, no indifference to everything around.It is a willful, arrogant, high-spirited youthful voice that is unique to ideal practitioners.

At that time, Rosemany was full of ambition to build a new world and a beautiful vision of Utopia.The pain of the past is nothing compared to the future he will create.

Mori Ogai turned around.He saw a boy wearing a simple white lab coat standing not far away.That was the 12-year-old Tsuruhara Himi, whose face was no different from the 13-year-old's, but also completely different.

He still wears the string of experimental code "AF2000" on the side of his neck.

By the way, that's right.Now that the consciousness has been reset to the "creator", the image in the consciousness space should also be what the "creator" should be.

It turns out that this is the "creator".It is Rosemany who has not been broken, has not compromised with the darkness, and has not met Mori Ogai.Is a willful, dictatorial "island" tyrant.

If he had never met Mori Ogai, Tsuruhara Hiken would have remained like this forever, right?Whether it's getting rid of the past and returning to the sun, or standing on top of the world.But no matter what it looks like, it's not his student, his Tsuruhara Hinata.

"Rosemani-kun's consciousness space is really beyond my expectation." Mori Ogai faced Tsuruhara's sharp criticism with a calm attitude, "I thought there should be something brighter here, instead of just a piece of it. An evening star hangs in the barrenness."

The other party sneered from his nasal cavity: "Whether it is Rosemani, AF2000, or Tsuruhara Higen, they are all the same person in the final analysis. Even Aurora is my other self. So, no matter how I change, Consciousness space never changes."

"Since the consciousness space of 'Tsuruhara Higen' has become this barren ghost, even if the consciousness is modified to me, there will not be any change here."

and……

He looked at Mori Ogai with extreme rejection in his eyes, the corners of his mouth pulled down, and he turned his head.

He declined to comment on his "own" vision.

"Rosemani-kun doesn't seem to be surprised that I will appear here?" Mori Ogai stood there for a while, not waiting for the space of consciousness to exclude him.And Rosemany, who seemed to hate him so much, didn't attack him just because of this.

The opponent's body straightened instantly, and remained stiff for a long time.

Before Mori Ogai asked another question, Tsuruhara Hiken flung his sleeves and left with great momentum.

He didn't want to tell the truth, and he didn't want to bother making up some nonsense to fool the other party.So the only option is to leave here.

Since this is the consciousness space of "Tsuruhara Higen" and has never changed, then the law here is still the law of "Tsuruhara Hiken".That is, even if he is himself, he is not allowed to do anything to Mori Ogai.

He hates this so-called "law"!

The original development should be that the moment he discovered Mori Ogai, he could instantly injure the opponent's consciousness and then throw it out of the consciousness space.

Look, look, what is called cocoon.It's the idiotic criticism of "Tsuruhara Rijian"!

Look, look, what is hating iron but not steel.He was talking about the "creator" who was about to pull out his bald hair for "himself"—he Rosemanny!

He hated that man Shimori Ogai.Why, why can he be loved by "Tsuruhara Hikami"?

As the past self of "Tsuruhara Hinami", why should he be hated by "himself" instead?

Even if it is another future line that has disappeared, the self who got the "book" just chose to change this node.Let the strong "past self" change the direction, and leave Mori Ogai far away from then on.

At that time, "Tsuruhara Hiken" didn't even think about going back to the past, and directly erased this man who had a huge influence on him from the source.

Obviously as long as he kills Mori Ogai at the first sight, all tragedies will be avoided.

It's just a fledgling complex.

It's just a life-saving grace.

As a villain, can't I even do such trivial things as revenge?

He is the best at stabbing people close to him.Wasn't that how Dr. Detrich died?Isn't that how those companions in the laboratory who intended to oppose themselves died like this?

What unrealistic expectations are there for a villain?For the ideal Utopia, isn't he able to sacrifice everything?

That despicable man used such a despicable means to control "himself".He actually had to consider "his own" feelings, so he couldn't go on with a disintegration package and settle everything.

- so angry!

The boy's angry back became farther and farther away until he disappeared into this space.

It is determined that the other party cannot do anything to himself due to certain restrictions.I don't know when I can leave here.Mori Ogai followed the desire to explore deep in his heart, and chose a direction to walk.

The previous few times he came here, he stayed where he was without moving.Every time I see the child who drowned in the deep sea—the past of Tsuruhara Himi who drowned in despair.

When he regarded Tsuruhara Himi as a subordinate and a student, he never had the desire to explore his past.

And when he really faced up to the other party's feelings for him that he only showed a little, but more deeply buried in his heart that he didn't want to say.Just like people always miss the best one, it was too late for him to face up to this relationship.

The Tsuruhara Hikami who would pretend not to care and say "I want to pursue you" in the most frivolous manner has disappeared.

When he finally believed in the other party's feelings, the child who hoped to get a response no matter what, had disappeared.He couldn't tell whether the other party should feel more pity, or he should feel more pity.

Or should I feel guilty, regretful, or distressed?

It's really good, if you can't wait, just don't wait.This is very strange.

Mori Owai pushed open another door in this barren land.

The cold air rushed in from behind the door, and inside the door was a room made of metal walls.It was the control room of the submarine, and Mori Ogai recognized it at a glance.

There used to be the prison where Tsuruhara Himi was held.

A paper boat was lying alone on the cold ground inside the door, and there were no other traces other than that.

He couldn't see the image of Tsuruhara Himi here, and there was only the paper boat in that cold prison.Abandoned paper boat.

But he can know that the other party is standing here to write the letter, he can even know that the other party will stand extremely upright, and the hand holding the pen will not tremble in the slightest.When the other party folded the letter paper into a paper boat, he would unconsciously purse the corners of his mouth.

If these thoughts are abandoned by the other party...

Mori Ogai closed the door.

There is no need to read any further.

There is no need for him to explore a relationship that has already belonged to the past tense.

There will always be something missing in life, and you will get used to it if you miss it.There are times in life when you make decisions that seemed perfectly right and harmless at the time, but you regret it a long time later.

If at that time, what if at that time.Even if you know that the situation is not too good now, even if you feel the mood that is not too good now in advance.

Would Mori Ogai make a completely different choice?

Some things have to be done even if they will regret it after a long time, because it is only him who regrets, but the whole organization benefits.

Tsuruhara Hiken is no longer the one in his memory, even if he wants to do something to restore it, it is unnecessary.Instead of thinking about these unimportant things, it is better to think about how to deal with the ensuing crisis.

Some people are doomed to such a strange fate.

Be wary of each other, doubt each other, and test each other.Until one of them stretched out his hand halfway, the other party had already snuffed out all his thoughts and walked away.

The remaining person could only withdraw his hand and act as if nothing happened.Doesn't seem to be affected in any way.

Because both parties have something more important than the "love" caused by hormones and dopamine.A little bit of those touches can be easily covered up again.

If Tsuruhara Hiren chooses to give up, then Mori Ogai has no right to persuade him to stay, let alone mention this paragraph.

He knew it.

It was he who hung the evening star on the sky of Tsuruhara Himi, and it was he who pulled Tsuruhara Himi into the abyss and left him there.

The culprit is him, so he is not qualified to make any hindrance to Tsuruhara Hikami's growth.He also has no right to feel unhappy about the other party's sudden change of attitude towards him.

Keeping your distance is the best solution.Whether it is for him or for Tsuruhara Hinata.

He was able to save Yokohama.

He was able to save the port mafia.

Only he couldn't save Tsuruhara Hijen.

Nor is it qualified to save him.