the world in which he exists

The wind in the spring afternoon was gentle, brushing the leaves green and then going to comfort Gu Chaoming under the tree.

The shadows of the trees swayed and the leaves rustled in the wind. Under the shade of the trees, Gu Chaoming tightly hugged Lin Jianfan who had just turned his head.

The ribs that were tight in the chest collided with the ribs, and there was a slight pain.

Gu Chaoming's hug was too sudden, and the kittens Ren Lin saw Fan petting were all scared away by Gu Chaoming.

Gu Chaoming's arm didn't pass through Lin Jianfan's waist like usual, but hugged him completely.

Arms wrapped around Lin Jianfan's neck, arms crossed behind Lin Jianfan's neck, and the envelope that Gu Tao asked Zhou Han to hand over to him was squeezed tightly in his hand, as if it was about to be crushed.

Lin Jianfan was not dazzled by Gu Chaoming's sudden hug. When he was petting the kitten, he was already prepared to welcome Gu Chaoming who faced him in any abnormal way, including the sudden hug.

Even if Gu Chaoming didn't come for a long time, Lin Jianfan planned to look for it at the school gate, and if he couldn't find it, he would call the police.

This was about Gu Tao, Lin Jianfan did not dare to be careless at all.He has seen Gu Tao's crazy appearance, and he, like Gu Chaoming, cannot imagine Gu Tao crying and saying sorry.

The posture of hugging the neck is Gu Chaoming's posture of seeking comfort and support, and Lin Jianfan understands it.He let Gu Chaoming hold him, regardless of whether there was anyone passing by on the side of the road, his palms slowly touched Gu Chaoming's back, stroking Gu Chaoming's back one by one, and comforting him gently.

Gu Chaoming didn't say a word, just hugged him tightly.There was no insertion point, and he didn't know what Gu Chaoming heard or saw. Lin Jianfan couldn't comfort him with words, so he stroked him one after another, waiting for Gu Chaoming to calm down.

The campus air in spring is full of warm smells, and every breath is like a breath of pure sunshine.Sunlight fell on the road in front of Gu Chaoming through the gaps in the branches extending from the tree-lined road.

Gu Chaoming didn't cry, it wasn't that he wasn't fragile, it wasn't that Zhou Han's words didn't touch him enough, and it wasn't that he didn't want to be vulnerable in front of Lin Jianfan, they had promised each other that they wouldn't hide their emotions.

His heart was sour and bitter, and he just couldn't shed tears.

Gu Tao's sorry really touched his heart, but it was not a touch that hit his tear duct.

This sorry that I don't know if it's true or not came too late, and it can touch Gu Chaoming's heart that has hated him for 18 years, but he will never be able to get his forgiveness.

Wrapping tightly around Lin Jianfan's neck, with his head next to Lin Jianfan's head, the pinna rubbing against Lin Jianfan's pinnae, in front of him was the boulevard where he often strolled with Lin Jianfan in spring.

The shadows of the trees on the boulevard are mottled, and when the wind blows, the shadows of the trees flutter. The spring sunshine creates the most beautiful scene, which also gives the gray and black tree shadows a beautiful texture.

Gu Chaoming stared at the whirling tree shadows on the road, and in the spring when everything was recovering and the sun was shining, a feeling of sadness rose in his heart on the road covered with whirling tree shadows.

A burst of sadness that was completely out of proportion to the warmth of spring.

This disproportionate sadness came from that man's apology.

"See Fan." Gu Chaoming finally called his name.

"Well, I'm here." Lin Jianfan tilted his head slightly, and rubbed his auricles against Gu Chaoming's auricles, telling him with small rubs——I'm here.

The static electricity in spring is not as strong as in winter, and the slight friction does not produce the stinging static electricity, but Gu Chaoming still feels a slight inductance, and what is conveyed in the inductance is the warmth of Lin Jianfan's silent comfort, following the veins and familiarity knocked on Gu Chaoming's heart.

Gu Chaoming was like a kitten that couldn't be petted enough. After Lin Jianfan rubbed slightly, he tilted his head directly, and leaned close to Lin Jianfan's ear, to get close enough to Lin Jianfan who was warm enough for him.

He urgently needs enough comfort to prove that he is not heartless, to prove that it is not his fault that he cannot shed tears.

"See Fan." Gu Chaoming just called him by his name.

Seeing that the stroking in Fan's hands didn't stop, Lin saw that Gu Chaoming called him and he responded, letting Gu Chaoming know that he was still there and that he could talk to him about anything.

"See Fan."

"Ah."

"See Fan." Gu Chaoming called him again.

"Well, I'm here."

Lin saw that Fan wanted to joke with him and comfort him, saying, "Is the signal not very good on your side? You always call me by my name."

Gu Chaoming often comforted him with jokes like this. It seemed easy, but Lin Jianfan found it so difficult when he did it.When comforting Gu Chaoming, he wanted to open his mouth to joke but couldn't say anything, as if he was dumb in his throat, only the palm gently stroking on his back did not flinch.

Lin Jianfan didn't say the joke, but Gu Chaoming smiled in his ear: "Jianfan, you are really warm."

It was difficult for Lin Jianfan to respond to a sentence, and his full of comforting words met Gu Chaoming's "You are so warm."

Gu Chaoming is stronger than him in the end, he always smiles when faced with his father's beating and mother's departure, unlike him who always cries.

Lin Jianfan stroked Gu Chaoming's back hand upwards, stroked Gu Chaoming's head leaning on his shoulders, stroked the back of Gu Chaoming's head, and missed the opportunity to joke, this time Lin Jianfan finally said: "If you are warm, hug me for a while, okay?" If you eat, eat more."

Lin Jianfan's jokes were jerky and did not capture the essence of the joke.Gu Chaoming once said that he would persuade others, but Lin Jianfan could only say that Gu Chaoming had misjudged him.

"It's not funny at all." He said it wasn't funny, but Gu Chaoming still burst out laughing.

Hearing Gu Chaoming's smile, Lin saw that Fan relaxed a lot, and his words also relaxed with his mood: "It's not because of you that I'm so nervous that I can't even joke."

Gu Chaoming finally let go of his neck, and the arms around the neck were transferred to Lin Jianfan's waist, and his palms gently grasped the sides of Lin Jianfan's waist: "It's because you don't know how to joke, so you can't blame me."

"What's wrong with you?" Lin Jianfan said.

"I seem to spoil you too much, spoil you too capriciously."

"Then you plan to..." Lin Jianfan was too embarrassed to say the word pet, and thought it was too sweet, "Then you plan to treat me wrong? Then I may have to be sad for a while."

"Who said you are wrong? I like you like this." Gu Chaoming said.

Lin Jianfan looked up at Gu Chaoming and smiled, the sun was shining on his face, Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan's face in the sun, just wanted to take away the sunshine from his lips, who let the sun occupy Lin Jianfan's face There was still a faint light on his lips to demonstrate to him.

"Also, if I treat you badly, will you be sad for a while?" Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan and said.

"The conference?" Lin Jianfan laughed.

Before Gu Chaoming could speak, Lin Jianfan went on to say, "You won't give me a chance to be sad, will you?"

Lin saw that Fan raised his head and looked straight at Gu Chaoming with his eyes falling into the spring light, causing Gu Chaoming to wrap his arms around his waist with one hand, and grab his arm with the other, and followed his arm to grab his palm tightly.

Pulling Lin Jianfan into his arms, Gu Chaoming leaned into Lin Jianfan's ear and said, "Guess."

The breath from the two provocative words rushed to his ears, Lin saw that Fan's ears were itching, and he wanted to cover his ears, but he suppressed the urge to raise his hand, as if he was competing with Gu Chaoming——I don't Will be so easy to be teased by you.

He didn't raise his hand, but his ears turned red at a speed visible to the naked eye under the shadow of the trees in spring, and Lin Jianfan could feel his ears heating up.

Seeing Lin Jianfan Tonghong's ears, Gu Chaoming leaned into his ear again and said, "Of course not."

"You still don't believe in Doraemon?" Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan and smiled into his eyes.

The sadness in his heart was driven away by the expression on Lin Jianfan's face that wanted to laugh but couldn't help it.

Seeing Fan, Lin finally couldn't help laughing.

Lin Jianfan's smile can completely resist the pain that Gu Tao brought him.

When the breeze picked up, the shadows of the trees swayed, Lin saw Fan laughing under the shadows of the trees.

Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan's smiling face.

I should have succeeded, right?Gu Chaoming put Gu Tao aside and thought.

I should have successfully brought Lin Jianfan out of the haze of the past, and brought him to see this blossoming world again.

The newly opened flowers on the side of the road are waving in the wind, and the green grass is full of vitality. You see, this world is a world full of flowers and brocades.

Seeing that Fan laughed, Lin saw that Gu Chaoming also laughed.

He did it.

He once wanted to kill a man, but now he saves a man.

Saved his most beloved person.

Since the person I love the most is right in front of me, and the spring is so beautiful, let's put aside the matter of Gu Tao for a while, let's go with Lin Jianfan to appreciate this beautiful spring and the world full of flowers.

Gu Chaoming is not good at persuading people, but he learns to heal himself when trying to comfort Lin Jianfan, and learns to find some happy things to offset when he is in pain.

Maybe he learned to heal himself when he tried his best to make Lin Jianfan forget the past. Only by making himself stronger can he better protect Lin Jianfan.

"Are you hungry? Shall we go eat?" Gu Chaoming let go of Lin Jianfan and asked.

Gu Chaoming who rushed over to hug him was depressed, but after his touch, Gu Chaoming who let go of him was as active as today's sunshine.

Lin Jianfan smiled and nodded: "I'm hungry."

"Is this the envelope your father gave you?" Seeing the envelope in Gu Chaoming's hand a long time ago, Lin Jianfan waited for Gu Chaoming to relax before asking.

Gu Chaoming nodded, showed it to Lin Jianfan, and said indifferently: "Zhou Han said it was full of money, and I guess so, but I don't know why my dad suddenly gave me money. It costs money."

The envelope was not opened, and Lin Jianfan only touched the envelope.

"But Zhou Han said that when he met my dad, my dad cried and said sorry to me and my mom."

Gu Chaoming's eyes suddenly became a little heavy, not as if he was brisk just now. Gu Zhaoming thought he was well disguised, but Lin Jianfan still quickly caught him.

Gu Chaoming, with downcast eyes that Lin Jianfan didn't notice, seemed to ask casually: "Do you think I should believe him?"

After the question was asked, I asked myself and answered: "But I will never believe him, and it is impossible to believe him. I was just thinking that a sorry can offset all the hatred? If I don't forgive him, is it a bit unfeeling? You Did he have crocodile tears? But I don't even have crocodile tears."

Gu Chaoming pretended to be unintentional, but in his heart he was eagerly waiting for Lin Jianfan's answer.

Can a flimsy apology undo all past mistakes?

There are always people who are magnanimous, saying that if everyone apologizes, you can forgive him, but Gu Chaoming can't do it, he is not that magnanimous, he can't even shed a tear.

He's used to a crazy Gu Tao, a Gu Tao who annoys him, now he doesn't need and doesn't want a Gu Tao who comes to give him money and says he's sorry.

He doesn't need it, but why does he still feel that he is unfeeling if he can't shed tears?

Gu Chaoming asked many questions, which seemed to be without focus. An ordinary person would not be able to quickly understand Gu Chaoming's entanglement like Lin Jianfan, even with a full score in the Chinese reading questions.

"I can't cry, am I too indifferent?"

Gu Chaoming said a lot, but in fact, this is the only problem to sum up.

Gu Tao's kindness to him was like a sudden hailstorm, there was no surprise, only shock, Gu Chaoming had placed Gu Tao in that position for so many years, Gu Tao's sudden change made him unable to slow down.He asked himself if he was too indifferent, but the pain that Gu Tao brought to him was still there, he couldn't change it, couldn't forgive him, so he thought he was too unfeeling.

Lin Jianfan, who knew him well, grasped the core of Gu Chaoming's depression at once, and he wanted to express his thoughts to Gu Chaoming.

Seeing that Fan quickly made up a draft in his heart, he wanted to tell Gu Chaoming, but Gu Chaoming didn't give him a chance to speak, so he dragged him towards the cafeteria after talking about his worries.

It is agreed to go to see this world of flowers and brocades first, and leave the troubles behind.The first thing to look at the world of flowers and brocades is to start with eating.

With unresolved problems in mind, Gu Chaoming took Lin Jianfan's hand, turned to Lin Jianfan and said, "When you get home, go to the supermarket to buy some snacks, and I will also buy you your favorite yogurt."

He wanted to see the blooming spring, and he was on his way home from school with Lin Jianfan.

Lin Jianfan nodded without saying the finished draft, so let's accompany Gu Chaoming to watch the sunset in spring.

The winter is getting farther and farther, and the spring is coming quickly. The sunset after school is thick, and a school of orange hangs in the sky.

Lin Jianfan still went to Gu Chaoming's house for dinner, Lin's mother knew, Lin Jianfan told Lin's mother before school started, Lin's mother nodded in agreement, and did not ask Gu Chaoming's address.

From the beginning, Mama Lin suspected that Gu Chaoming was the second Zhu Shengquan, but was moved by Gu Chaoming's unremitting care of Lin Jianfan. Mama Lin believed in him in every way, doubted the relationship between Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan, and chose to turn a blind eye.

Lin's mother is actually struggling, but she thinks it's her own imagination, and she can't just think about it just because Gu Chaoming is too nice to Lin Jianfan.

Lin's mother believes that she has given Gu Chaoming a lot of convenience, for example, now he can sit on the bench beside the road with Lin Jianfan and drink yogurt.

"I don't want to cook today, let's buy something to eat later, shall we?" Gu Chaoming sat on the bench and sucked the finished yogurt.

Lin Jian Fan responded, "Cooking every day is also very tiring."

Gu Chaoming turned his head with a smile, and raised his hand to touch Lin Jianfan's head: "You still know that you love your boyfriend, facing the kitchen every day, wondering if you will change from a handsome boy to a greasy uncle."

Seeing Fan biting a yogurt straw and laughing at him, Lin deliberately called him, "Uncle."

"Did you meet the uncle?" Gu Chaoming said.

"It's you, uncle." Lin Jianfan said with a smile.

The setting sun fell on Lin Jianfan's face, and Gu Chaoming was most intoxicated by him who abandoned the past.

The sunset in the sky, the wind in the afternoon, the flowers in spring...all brought to his world by the smiling Lin Jianfan.

Gu Chaoming tried not to keep silent about his past in front of Lin Jianfan. Only when he can easily mention the past can he truly let go.

Gu Chaoming tried to start from the lowest level. He looked at Lin Jianfan's eyes reflecting the setting sun: "Actually, you let go of the past and are as confident as you are now, which is my favorite look."

Seeing that Fan was stunned for a moment, Lin looked at Gu Chaoming's eyes looking at him, and then laughed.

The setting sun in his eyes curved.

Lin Jianfan said: "Don't look back on the past. Looking back on the past is like falling into a quagmire. The more you struggle, the more powerless you become."

"Just because I'm smiling now doesn't mean I let go of the past, I just don't think about it. I didn't forgive them, and they didn't say sorry to me."

Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming with firmer eyes, and his words became firmer with his eyes: "I didn't forgive them, because they never apologized to me, even if they apologized to me, I don't know if I have done that. Forgive them with a big heart, maybe you will forgive them with your mouth, but you will not in your heart."

"Actually, at noon, I wanted to tell you, 'If you don't want to forgive your dad, you don't have to forgive, it's okay.' You are not indifferent, nor are you heartless. An apology does not necessarily mean forgiveness. When they do those things, They also didn't think about whether a flimsy apology would undo the damage they caused. You told me that it was their fault they bullied me, not mine. I also want to say that your dad's fault for beating you , Your unforgiveness is not wrong."

Gu Chaoming looked at him, with complex things in his eyes, which seemed to burst out vigorously, but they were as deep as the sea of ​​stars.

Lin Jianfan said without hesitation that he had not forgotten the past, and also told Gu Chaoming that his unforgiveness was not heartless.

The rain that had weighed on Gu Chaoming's heart all afternoon poured down.

He looked closely into Lin Jianfan's eyes and didn't speak, just stared, and the prolonged staring made Lin Jianfan a little uncomfortable.

Seeing Fan swallowing his saliva and wanting to speak, Lin saw the second unexpected hug today.

Gu Chaoming hugged him, next to the bench by the roadside under the setting sun.

Gu Chaoming heard someone pointing at them and whispering, the voice of whispering was quite loud, Gu Chaoming didn't care.

He embraced Lin Jianfan, who was frightened by his hug but immediately calmed down, and said, "Thank you."

The pinna rubbed against her ears, Lin Jianfan smiled: "I should be the one thanking you."

I want to thank you too much, thank you for your hard work, thank you for not giving up, thank you for being with me, thank you for your careful thinking, thank you for everything.

He used to be so shy that he only dared to say thank you in his heart when Gu Chaoming was lying on the table and fell asleep. Gu Chaoming's straightforward words made him want to express his feelings and express his gratitude.

When Gu Chaoming faced Gu Tao, he felt that his resistance was like punching the air with a punch. There was no echo, nothing changed, not even the air that was driven by punching.

He resisted the world with his own violence, but he never expected to reap Lin Jianfan's warm heart.

When God closes a door, he will surely open a window for you, and Lin Jianfan stands behind that window.

Lin Jianfan learned from Gu Chaoming to express his closed emotions, and Gu Chaoming learned from Lin Jianfan how to treat the world gently.

Gu Chaoming let go of Lin Jianfan, pulled him up, stopped a taxi on the side of the road, stuffed Lin Jianfan who didn't know why, and asked the driver to go back to their home.

Didn't you say you'd better not go home for dinner?Lin Jianfan thought as he looked out the window on his way home.

Gu Chaoming must have something he wants to do when he wants to go home, Lin sees Fan sitting quietly in the car and has no objection.

After getting out of the car, Gu Chaoming dragged him up the stairs quickly.When I got home, I threw away the yogurt and other things I bought in the supermarket, and hurriedly said: "There are still dumplings in the refrigerator at home, let's cook dumplings and eat them."

"You just took a taxi back because you want to eat dumplings?" Lin Jianfan asked deliberately but knew it was not.

"Of course not, because I feel the safest at home."

No big whispers and gossip.

After speaking, when Lin Jianfan walked up to him, Gu Chaoming bent down, and Lin Jianfan also looked at him with a smile.

The tip of his tongue touched Gu Chaoming's, and Gu Chaoming's tongue seemed to carry some special happiness factor. When the tongue tip touched, Lin Jianfan couldn't help laughing, the breath in his nose was full of a smile, and there seemed to be nothing in his heart. He was poked defensively by something soft, itching.

When he was supposed to be intoxicated, the person in front of him suddenly laughed. Gu Chaoming stopped and looked into Lin Jianfan's black eyes: "What are you laughing at?"

Lin Jianfan was still smiling, he wanted Gu Chaoming to continue.He concealed his smile, but the arc of the corner of his mouth couldn't fall, he said: "I don't know, I feel very happy for no reason."

"Really?" Gu Chaoming asked.

After finishing speaking, the two of them were already so close that there was a distance of ten centimeters. Gu Chaoming still took a step forward to fill up the ten centimeters. He raised his hands and gradually embraced Lin Jianfan, staring at his Luo Xing Eyes, whispered: "I am also very happy, but my happiness is famous because you are here."

After Gu Chaoming finished speaking, he lowered his head and bit Lin Jianfan's lips, giving him a deeper kiss to express his famous happiness.