Stand-in self-cultivation

Touching his smooth chin, Ma Qiming pushed open the bathroom door.The light in the bedroom was turned off, only the warm reading light beside the bed was still on.The young man was leaning against the bed, flipping through something with a tattered notebook, and was very surprised to see him come out, as if he didn't know why so quickly.

"What are you looking at?" Ma Qiming glanced at it and asked casually.

Jia Ran frantically stuffed the notebook into a drawer beside him, which instead attracted Ma Qiming's puzzled gaze.He waved his hand to indicate that it was all right, grabbed the quilt and patted his side.The man lifted the quilt with a half-smile and sat on it.In fact, even if Jia Ran didn't say anything, he would have already recognized what it was just at that glance.The photos secretly taken on the mobile phone have not been deleted, but now his mood is different. How much hope does that little book full of wishes carry?Can't help but want to know more, how many sides of Jia Ran haven't been shown in places he doesn't know?

Looking at the bewildered young man, Ma Qiming put his upper body on the young man's legs, extended his arms and turned off the light.

In the darkness, the young man's body was still a little stiff, as if he couldn't adapt to such physical contact.The man shook Jia Ran's hand generously, and then let go. He was silent for a moment, and said, "It's one o'clock, go to sleep, of course."

The dry air was filled with the low-key and restrained aroma of the man, which made him dizzy, not to mention the natural sound of "Of course," which seemed to be rehearsed hundreds of times, making him look like a cat that just stretched out its body, Even the bones couldn't help being crispy.He leaned against the head of the bed and carefully moved his body closer to the man.Hearing the rustling sound of changing clothes, Jia Ran secretly turned his face to the side, trying to peek at the man's movements in the dark.

"What are you looking at? I'm lying down." Ma Qiming said abruptly.

"Cough, cough cough..." Jia Ran coughed desperately.

Ma Qiming sighed helplessly. He sat up and patted Jia Ran's back lightly with his big hand, "What's the matter, coughing suddenly? You're so delicate. Call the doctor to come over tomorrow morning."

Jia Ran waved his hand while coughing, and accidentally touched the man's fiery chest muscles, and quickly withdrew his hand in fright: "I'm choking on my saliva, cough cough, don't call..."

"What can I say about you?" Ma Qiming smirked, and after making such a fuss, he lost sleepiness.Seeing that Jia Ran didn't intend to sleep at all, he simply grabbed the pillows and placed them behind the two, posing as a president of "Come, let me chat with you".

Jia Ran breathed a sigh of relief, grabbed the water glass beside him and took two sips of water, and finally asked the question that confused him after the incident: "President Ma, I've always wanted to ask, how did you find out about my... Understand?"

"Didn't you answer the phone and send me the coordinates?" Ma Qiming asked.

Jia Ran was taken aback for a moment, and the two checked it out before discovering that there were countless coincidences.Perhaps it was the blessing of the gods, the location was successfully sent, and the phone that didn't even ring in time was because he accidentally answered it when he slipped the phone out.

"What a coincidence..." Jia Ran exhaled fearfully.

Ma Qiming didn't speak.What he didn't tell Jia Ran was that if it wasn't for that strong premonition that guided him, he wouldn't have called him at all, even if he saw the location address on WeChat and rushed over, what Jia Ran experienced I'm afraid it will become an indelible pain in his life.Suddenly, he suddenly remembered one thing.

"So you didn't know that I would come so soon?" Hearing Jia Ran's confession, Ma Qiming's brows were stained with sullenness, "You don't know why I came here to be a hero? I rushed forward to save that traitor Are you a duckling in the ass? Haven’t you suffered enough? I know you’re capable and you’re still pretentious, but when will you know how to be restrained? Take back your sharpness, okay, okay? "

In the darkness, Jia Ran didn't know what the silent Jia Ran was doing or thinking. Ma Qiming rubbed his temples and said earnestly: "If this happens again, no, this is the last time. I just said, You have to learn to take it easy and use your brain before doing things."

Jia Ran pursed her lips, her dry mouth was full of bitterness.Conceited... This was the first time someone pointed out his pride and ambition in front of his face.After a moment of silence, he said, "I've considered it." The young man's deep and hoarse voice conveyed a different kind of tranquility, "I've considered whether to watch him die and live with guilt, or take the initiative to attack, I would rather There is no room for regret even if you are covered in bruises."

Ma Qiming kneaded his hands beside his forehead.

What he didn't know was that if he had asked more clearly at this time, he would not have almost caused a catastrophe in the future.It's a pity that time cannot be turned back, and the torrent of fate pushes the two to miss again at the fork in the road one after another.The relationship has gradually become clear, and the knot in the heart is being eaten away by warmth, but the truth is covered up in the darkness of this night without stars and moon.

Jia Ran breathed a sigh of relief, and his calm tone was already ready to narrate: "I have really thought about it. You may not know how much courage it takes to witness a person die but you do nothing. And after his death , How much courage do you need to survive?"

"I don't know when you will realize that I have been kidnapped, and I don't know when you will find me, but the only thing I know is that he is in danger and he may die."

There was a moment of silence in the air, as if knowing that he could not answer, Jia Ran stretched out his left hand, palm up, and continued: "There is only so much courage in a person's life."

In the darkness, Ma Qiming could only roughly see an outline.

"Look, there's only so much." Jia Ran said, stretching out his right index finger, pointing to the pad of his left thumb, and said, "Choosing to betray myself and being taken care of by you took so much."

"I chose to give up my university studies, and it took so much to be by your side." The index finger moved to the belly of the index finger.

"It took so much to give up high school and drop out to raise Jia Meng." The index finger moved to the belly of the middle finger.

"These," Jia Ran pointed to below the first joint of the five fingers, "are the courage you need to watch someone die in front of you and you do nothing."

Jia Ran clasped his hands together, covering his palms. He paused for a moment, as if he was phrasing, "And these are the courage you need to survive alone after his death."

"I have almost used up all my courage in my life, and now I only have two fingers left. I can't take risks. If I choose to bear it again, I may have a mental breakdown now." Jia Ran He smiled indifferently, "So you see, I really thought about it seriously. I tried my best to save him, and I did everything I could, so even if he died, I would only Sad for a moment, but none of this has anything to do with me."

"Who did you give your courage to?" Ma Qiming asked complicatedly.

In the darkness, Jia Ran seemed to laugh.

Just when Ma Qiming was about to ask him not to force him, Jia Ran spoke up.

"my brother."

"You still have a brother?"

"There used to be, and then died."

Ma Qiming suddenly remembered that Jia Ran had a fever before, and he seemed to have mentioned it to himself once when he was confused. He asked, "...Is it the one who was hit by the truck?"

"Yeah." Jia Ran, who was immersed in memories, completely forgot to ask him how he knew.

"I remember what you said before. It was because the driver answered the phone and couldn't dodge in time, which led to the collision." From this, he told himself to change the driver, Ma Qiming thought.

"Yeah, you're right. It's just that someone made the call on purpose at this time, and the truck also hit it on purpose." Jia Ran's tone was calm, and he didn't wait for Ma Qiming to speak. In the memory, it is better to say it to myself than to tell it to Ma Qiming.

"Actually, I have known for a long time. It was a woman who deliberately instructed his father's friend to use his father's mobile phone to call the man who drove to pick up my brother that day. She also contacted the truck driver. I was malnourished when I was young, and my body was thin and weak. , I was hiding under the bed in my brother's room to play checkers, but I didn't expect to hear all this."

"After all, I believed in the saying that human nature is inherently good. I hesitated several times, but I didn't tell him."

Ma Qiming listened with a complicated expression, not knowing why a sense of déjà vu suddenly arose in his heart, as if this incident happened to him in some unknown dimension.

"Later, my brother's own father found someone to pick him up. I remember that I chased the car for a long distance that day, and then I couldn't run anymore, so I stopped. At this time, the truck whizzed past me, The car my brother was riding in was directly hit and flew."

"Death on the spot."

After the words fell, Jia Ran's memories stopped abruptly, and the chaotic screams surrounding his ears, the hiss of the ambulance, and the doctor's calm "rescue is invalid" all disappeared.

Stopping the straight young man, Ma Qiming gently kissed his hair.

Jia Ran leaned against Ma Qiming's naked chest, the temperature of his skin made him close his eyes in peace, and shook everything unreservedly to the man who should have kept a good distance. "At first I thought I was the same as my brother. I didn't have a father, and neither did he. Later, I realized that he was different from me. His father just didn't want to take their mother and child back. When I was young, I thought it was because my brother was black. She was abandoned only because she was fat, and now I think it’s ridiculous when I think about it.”

"Your brother treats you very well." Ma Qiming said with certainty.In fact, he still wants to say, now...he will treat him well.

"Indeed, although he has a bad temper, often beats people, doesn't study well, bullies children, and always likes to play tricks on me—" the voice stopped abruptly.

After a while, the person in his arms trembled.

"Go to sleep." Ma Qiming laid the person flat, reached out and took out a piece of paper to wipe away his tears.

"Now I only have Jia Meng as a family member."

Ma Qiming kissed his forehead, and said softly, "I will watch her."

And you.