Treading snow to find mud

Chen Yi did not miss Tang Yao's slight frown after sitting in the passenger seat. He said "Sorry" in a low voice before closing the door for Tang Yao and returning to the driver's seat. Obviously, the smell of smoke did not escape. After Tang Yao's sense of smell, he opened the windows together to let the previous smell of smoke dissipate faster. In fact, he could no longer smell any smoke. He thought it had dissipated long ago, but still Tang Yao smelled it.

But Tang Yao didn't ask anything, he didn't even have a single extra word except for a slight frown, he didn't even seem to hear Chen Yi's "sorry", he just asked Chen Yi quite casually: "You drive faster than Xiaorui?" Still have to be steady, when did you learn it?"

"I learned it when I was studying, and it has been more than ten years." Chen Yi turned the steering wheel and drove out of the campus.

He answered like this, thinking that Tang Yao would continue to ask, but the topic stopped here, Tang Yao seemed to be caught in some kind of thought, Chen Yi couldn't help turning his head to look at him, Tang Yao usually gave him the feeling of being quiet Yes, but now he looks more like a kind of silence.

Chen Yi wasn't sure what he thought of, and he didn't have time to think about it, because his own thoughts were chaotic and he couldn't sort them out for a while. He felt Tang Yao's familiar aura around him. He seemed to have no worries, as if he could accept anything, no matter how good it was. , or bad, but is that really the case?For the past three months, Chen Yi has been exploring him, but after three months, the Tang Yao in front of his eyes is still like a fog, he can see it but can't touch it.

"Tonight, let me cook for you?" Chen Yi suddenly broke the silence.

Tang Yao turned to face him, and heard Chen Yi say again: "I have something to go out tonight, and I will also have dinner outside, the car... can you lend me?"

"Of course." Tang Yao smiled. This was the first time Chen Yi made such a request in three months, and he readily agreed, without asking where Chen Yi was going or what he was doing.

After returning home, Chen Yi cooked the dishes and left them on the dining table. After greeting Tang Yao, he picked up the car keys and left, leaving Tang Yao at home alone.When he came back, Tang Yao had already fallen asleep. After cleaning the kitchen, Chen Yi tiptoed to Tang Yao's bedroom, and gently opened the bedroom door.Tang Yao was lying on his side covered with a quilt, and from Chen Yi's perspective, he could only see his hair scattered on the pillow. After living with Tang Yao for a long time, Chen Yi gradually began to yearn for such tranquility. He has been in a state of wandering since many years ago, and he has long forgotten what peace should look like. Now this peace is in front of him, at his hand, and he seems to be able to grasp it as long as he stretches out his hand. But before he drove out, the hustle and bustle of the metropolis was like a fleeting moment, he had no nostalgia, and only wanted to come back as soon as possible, but now that he came back, he couldn't help but feel puzzled, because of this he wanted Want to come back in peace, or because of Tang Yao?

Chen Yi held the doorknob tightly with his hand. If it was because of the former, then he probably knew what kind of life he should choose in the future, but if it was because of the latter...

But...it is obviously not allowed.

Chen Yi lowered his eyes and let go of his clenched hands. He gently closed the door for Tang Yao, and then returned to his room.

He didn't turn on the light, went straight to the bed and sat down, closed his eyes, he knew that Tang Yao had been immersed in the darkness like this for many years, but the past also enveloped him like darkness, even if his eyes could see , but he couldn’t escape either, and I’m afraid Tang Yao couldn’t escape either. Chen Yi took out a photo from under his pillow, opened his eyes, looked at the person in the photo through the moonlight outside the window, and murmured:

"I know that this has nothing to do with right or wrong, no matter whether I can get what I want, I will do all this as soon as possible, and then I can start my own life, whether I live or die..."

He didn't know whether he was talking to the person in the photo or to himself, but his eyes also slowly changed color due to the pain gradually revealed by the person in the photo, becoming dark and gloomy. He can only ignore the peace Tang Yao brought to him now, because although this peace is within his reach, it still does not belong to him.