embrace the moon

There is a fire in everyone's heart, and those who pass by only see smoke.

——Van Gogh

-----

Such a peaceful and peaceful night is always rare.

don't want to go.Since getting up, Jianqiao has been thinking about this kind of thought, buried in the quilt and hugged Gu Yu without letting go.

"Jian Qiaoqiao, it's time to get up." Gu Yu stood up and patted his back through the quilt, "I'll take you to the airport."

Jian Qiao hugged him tightly and didn't let go, Gu Yu helplessly rubbed his hair, "It's no use being coquettish. When you go back, you have to develop well, and draw when you miss me. From now on, you will leave a legacy in history." When I am famous, the military medal can still have half of mine."

Jian Qiao remained silent, so Gu Yu asked, "Is the painting you made back quite expensive?"

"It's not sold yet, if you like it, I'll give it to you." Jian Qiao finally spoke, with a muffled voice buried in his arms.

"I like everything about you, so why don't you sell anything?" Gu Yu smiled.Jian Qiao was silent for a moment, then let go of her hands and put on her clothes.He buttoned up and asked, "When will you return to China?"

"A few months at most, I have to deal with the work here first." Gu Yu also started to put on clothes, and the faint morning light fell on them lightly through the curtains, "Maybe during the summer vacation, I should spend more time with Lele .”

He got dressed and opened the curtains. There was no snow today, and it was sunny outside.The winter in Moscow is always extraordinarily long. At this time, the grass is growing and warblers are flying in the country.

Gu Yu kept sending him into the station, Jian Qiao paused, and suddenly looked back.

Gu Yu laughed and waved to him, the sun was shining through the glass and shining on him.

-9: 57-

Love Soaking Goji Berry: Have you boarded the plane? 【Teletubbies Hug Emoticon Pack】

Chensha and Guohui: Yes. 【kiss emoji】

Chensha and Guohui: What kind of broken internet name did you change?

Love soaking wolfberries: what else do you understand? [Gu Laifu's evil smile emoticon package]

Hugging Chun Chong Chong: You are so annoying.

Love to soak wolfberry: hee.

Love soaking wolfberries:?What broken screen name did you change?

Hugging Chun Chong Chong: [Cat laughing expression package] I should turn off the phone.

Love soaking wolfberries: Remember to call me when you arrive.

After Jian Qiao left, Gu Yu was the only one left in this big city.But this time, he felt that his heart was full. During the few months he spent here before returning to China, everything became lovely, and he no longer had the usual loneliness.

He has spent five years here, from being young and ignorant when he just graduated from university, to now he is able to enter and leave the business field, and is called "the boss".After all, I was somewhat reluctant, but compared with the eagerness to return to my heart, it seemed less sad.

There is a five-hour difference between Moscow time and Beijing time. When Gu Yu fell asleep, he was afraid of disturbing Jian Qiao, so he usually didn't send him messages.Jian Qiao never told him when he went to bed, except for occasional daily conversations with him during the day, there were basically no sticky messages of good morning and good night.

That's fine, after all, Gu Yu is still persistent in wanting Jianqiao to change something, he thinks maybe it won't work if he talks too much, during the time between the two places, Jianqiao has to figure it out on his own.

Most of the employees of their studio in Moscow also want to return to China for development, and some of them cannot leave for the time being.Gu Yu and Chen Fangxu, the two lovers who were looking forward to seeing each other, were even more eager to return.However, Guan Xiaoli was not in a hurry, she planned to stay here and wait until the transitional time passed before making another plan.

Before leaving, Gu Yu sat on the co-pilot, patted the window frame, and said with emotion: "You have worked hard."

"Huh?" Guan Xiaoli was very suspicious that something was wrong with her ears, "What?"

"Your car has already endured too much fatigue that cars of the same age shouldn't have." Gu Yu stroked the car door, "I will miss you after I leave."

Guan Xiaoli smiled, "Then you can check it back."

Gu Yu didn't bother to talk to him.Guan Xiaoli suddenly opened the storage box, took out a ticket and still kept it on Gu Yu's body, and continued to drive calmly.

"What is this, you booked a plane ticket for me?" Gu Yu glanced at it, and when he picked it up for a closer look, he realized that it was unusual, "Why did you go there?"

The starting point of the ticket is Moscow, and the ending point is a place that he has never been to but has been in his mind countless times, which is Jianqiao's hometown with wind, snow and scorching sun.

"I just suggest you take a look," Guan Xiaoli said, "Do you know that Jian Qiao is the only child in his family."

"No," Gu Yu immediately retorted, "He also has a very good sister."

Guan Xiaoli had no choice but to correct, "He is the only child in the family now."

Gu Yu nodded.

"His mother was not in good spirits after his sister disappeared, and she has been in treatment all year round, you know?" Guan Xiaoli asked again.

Gu Yu nodded again.

Guan Xiaoli continued: "After you broke up..."

"I didn't break up with him." Gu Yu interrupted him.

"Shut up. After you separated back then, his family members were very opposed to the fact that he sealed the pen. After knowing that he was doing it for you, they objected even more. They didn't approve of your relationship at all. "

Gu Yu frowned, and suddenly froze, "...Is that so?"

"His sister is gone, and his mother has been sick all year round, so she wants him to marry and have children." Guan Xiaoli parked the car downstairs of Gu Yu's apartment, and continued, "Qi Zirui jumped off the building the year before last, and Jian Qiao saw it with his own eyes."

"What?" Gu Yu didn't recover from the shock, "Who?"

"Qi Zirui, committed suicide. He's not yet 24 years old. According to the diagnosis, he seems to lose control frequently when he was very young. Every time, Jian Qiao stopped him."

"So, you didn't stop last year...?" Gu Yu lowered his head, feeling the tightness in his chest, which was hard to accept for a while.

"Well, after Qi Zirui passed away, Jian Qiao seemed to have been ill for a while. I don't know much about other things."

"This...isn't true? How do you know? Could it be that you heard it wrong?"

Guan Xiaoli chuckled, turned off the engine, leaned back in the chair, stared at the square inch world in front of the car glass, muttered to herself, and said in a low voice: "Why do you never think about it, why do I know."

Gu Yu didn't quite understand what he meant, Guan Xiaoli turned around and looked at him, "You said it's not that easy to make Jian Qiao change, really. I told you that you can afford to wait, but he It may not be enough for you. Maybe he can't stand it before he changes."

This topic is quite serious, Guan Xiaoli seems to have never discussed anything so seriously in my impression.Gu Yu held the ticket and remained silent for a long time.

So, what did Guan Xiaoli mean by giving him this ticket?Rather than letting Jian Qiao change on his own initiative, shouldn't he do something first, step forward and give him a hand?

Gu Yu sighed softly, put the ticket in his pocket, and asked suddenly: "Xiaoli, are you really not going back with everyone?"

"What are you doing back home? Are you two tired?" Guan Xiaoli stretched out her hand and pulled off Gu Yu's seat belt, "Take care of yourself and your little lover first. Get out of the car."

"Little Pear..."

Before he could finish speaking, Guan Xiaoli patted the steering wheel impatiently, "Get out of here."

Gu Yu had no choice but to open the car door and get out of the car, waved to the person in the car window, and returned to the apartment.

Things were gradually emptied, and instead of returning to the country with everyone, Gu Yu went to northern China alone, came to this strange city, and walked the roads that his young lover had walked.

It’s been a long time since I’ve heard people all over the street speaking Chinese. Although it’s not the southern accent he’s most familiar with, it still feels kind to my ears.

He carefully selected the gifts with both hands full, and walked to the door of a family anxiously.Gu Yu tidied up his clothes and went through what he should say for the last time in his mind.

Gu Yu raised his hand and was about to knock on the door when the cell phone in his pocket rang suddenly.

In the south, after attending the event, Jian Qiao returned home exhausted physically and mentally.

Five years ago, he rented a farmer's house not too far away from the painting boat hall.This house faces north, which is not a good place according to the Feng Shui of the farm.

But Jian Qiao first took a fancy to it facing north, and often sat on the threshold in a daze.Although pointing to the northern sky, no one from my past appeared.

It's quiet here, but too quiet.

Every morning, the roosters of other farmers crowed.But where Jian Qiao lived, he didn't raise any livestock, and he didn't have corn. He only had a large field of roses in the backyard, which was his only comfort.

As much as he hates to admit it, he also has moments of breakdown.

He also threw his painting into the flowers in a rainstorm, when the rose petals were scattered by the bean-sized raindrops, and the petals were buried into the soil by the heavy rain.

He also pulled out the flower stems one by one uncontrollably, fell down with blood on his hands from the thorns, and lay in a blindingly red petal until the sky darkened.

Five years is really not that easy to get through, at least for him.

He fell asleep again and again during countless sleepless nights. He dreamed that Jian Mingyue was hiding in a corner and crying, saying that she was afraid; He fell rapidly from the ground, and felt helpless in his heart... He woke up in cold sweat after nightmares again and again, and his heartbeat was flustered as if it was about to collapse.

He wants to live a good life, but he often doesn't know why he lives.

He does not live to live, he must have something to support him to live.

It was late at night, there was no light in the dim room, and the surrounding was so quiet and lifeless, as if the whole world had disappeared from this moment.

Jian Qiao picked up the phone from the bedside, and the moment the screen lighted up, the glaring light cut through the darkness.A string of numbers on the screen lay quietly, waiting, but nothing came after all.The fingertips moved helplessly, hesitating, and finally did not press down.He turned off his cell phone, put on his coat, and walked into the rose field in the backyard alone.

The cold moonlight shines on the petals, and the dull scarlet adds to the hazy whiteness, as if the cloudy sky is closed and lost the soul.

He didn't dare to close his eyes, but even if he opened them, his eyes were still dizzy.

"Zi Rui, come here!"

"Jian Qiao, I hurt, it hurts so much..."

Qi Zirui sat on the edge of the roof, staring straight at him, with waves in his eyes, he stepped on the wall with his bare feet, and there was mud on his ankles.The half of the arm exposed from the hospital gown has blood-red scratches, his face is thin, and his eyes are dull.

He got up suddenly and stood up on the narrow fence, his feet covered in mud were scrawny.

"Zi Rui!"

"The world is good, Jian Qiao," he said with a smile on his lips, tears falling peacefully, and his voice was weak, "but I don't want to come here again."

……

It was another sleepless night, and when morning came, the dawn gradually dispelled the darkness and haze, and a loud and loud rooster crowed from someone's house not far away.

He only felt a splitting headache and dizziness.The night of invasion and scarletness in my mind slowly stopped.

There is no work for the day, and if there is, it will only feel more trance-like.He doesn't want to come into the public eye, and he doesn't want others to see who he is, as long as he can appreciate his works, even if he doesn't understand what he is expressing, he will stay there after all. One day, someone will understand.

In the morning, he received a call from Gu Yu.

"Are you awake?" the other end asked gently.

"En." Jian Qiao responded lightly.

"did you miss me?"

"...Thinking," Jian Qiao held the phone, his fingertips trembling slightly, his joints turned white, his whole body was shivering from the cold, his voice was deep, unable to detect any emotion, "I miss you."

A soft laugh came through, even the words were filled with a smile, "Okay. I'll be back in two days, you have to wait for me."

Jian Qiao nodded, "Yes."

He wanted to wait until Gu Yu came back.As long as he comes back and is by his side, it seems that all the haze will dissipate.A ray of sunlight shone in from the sky and sprinkled on Gu Yu's body. If he was brave enough, he would reach out and touch it.

At noon, Jian Qiao received a call, not from Gu Yu.

"Jian Qiao?" There was a quiet female voice on the other end.

Jian Qiao responded.

"I am Chen Huailing's former lover. He once said that he will return your painting to you after he leaves." The voice on the other end didn't sound too turbulent, it was very small and flat, "He left , do you want to see him?"

Jian Qiao's fingers trembled, and he dropped the phone, feeling his chest was constricted, his throat was suffocated, and he couldn't breathe.He closed his eyes, his eyelashes were soaked with moisture, and there were crystal drops of water.

The voice on the other end of the phone gradually became weak and lonely, and softened, and said, "Three days ago, it was July 29th. You know, he is 37 years old...can you come over now?"

Jian Qiao suppressed the trembling of his voice, his voice was hoarse, and he said in a low voice, "...OK."

He didn't know why it was like this.

Gu Lingzi looked tired, maybe just like himself at this moment.Jian Qiao got closer and closer, and saw the peaceful and speechless man leaning on the chair.

"Senior." Jian Qiao knelt down, stared at his face, and called softly.

There was no response from the empty house, and he left peacefully without saying goodbye to anyone.Or, every word he ever said was actually a farewell.

Jian Qiao went out in a daze, wandering alone by the river in the afternoon.

"Do you like my work, or my silence?"

"Maybe what people want is not an exit, but relief and relief."

"Even I can't understand what you draw."

"If you can't stand it, stop thinking about it."

"Do you want to look outside of time?"

With the breeze blowing by the river, the flowing water is rushing forward, rolling up layers of foam.Jian Qiao stopped walking, with a severe headache, grabbed the railing, lowered his head and panted violently.

"Jian Qiao, I'm in pain," Qi Zirui's voice sounded in his mind, and he rushed towards him crying, "It hurts so much, I can't take it anymore..."

He let go of his hand, breathing stagnantly, dizzy, as if the whole world was about to collapse.

The phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket, and after connecting, an urgent voice came from the other end of the phone. "Jian Qiao, I just received a call. I heard that Uncle Huai Ling..."

Jian Qiao was silent, his face was pale, his lips were bloodless, and he didn't respond.

"Are you okay? I'll be back soon, don't be too sad. Jianqiao?"

Listening to the anxious calls on the phone, he raised his head and stared at the sky, raising his arms.The sun shines through his fingers and into his eyes.He squeezed his fingertips together, only grasping the darkness.

He narrowed his eyes and suddenly said, "It's sunny today."

Jian Qiao turned off the phone and walked towards the crowded and cramped residential buildings step by step, the voices in his mind kept coming and going.He lost his mind and lost his mind. He walked from noon to dusk until his legs were sore and his whole body was weak.

It has been nearly two years since I came here, this dilapidated and decaying rooftop.

"Jian Qiao, do you dare to look at the world outside the world?"

He walked to the edge of the roof, heard his own chaotic breathing, and looked down.

The empty and decaying world spread out from here, and on the dusty concrete floor below, in a pool of blood, Qi Zirui suddenly opened his eyes, stood up, looked up, and stretched out his hand to him.

"Jian Qiao, do you want to leave here?"

"Jian Qiao, close your eyes and come here."

He lightly closed his eyes, raised his legs, and placed them on the wall.

The wind was blowing by my ears, and apart from the sound of the wind, there were still subtle rustling sounds.

But in an instant, everything receded, like the ebb and flow of the tide.

The world sleeps in lifeless silence.

The author has something to say: This chapter seems a little scary, and I don't know how it works.

When I checked the information, I clicked on a webpage, and suddenly a picture popped up. It was a person wearing a ghost mask with that grinning smile.

At that time, I thought in my heart: ...I will go to you...! ! !

This warns us not to scare people for no reason (fall!)