monologue

After drinking for three rounds and eating five flavors, Chu Xingmu asked them if they still wanted to play. Everyone wanted to blackmail Chu Xingmu, but the hard work and exhaustion of the past few days really made them have no energy to eat, drink and have fun all night. there is none left.

Qi Shaocheng yawned and said, "It must be because I was too tired during this time, and I dozed off every time I was full."

Zhao Chen didn't miss any chance to hurt him, and laughed at him: "It's like this when you get older."

Qi Shaocheng kicked Zhao Chen under the table, and Zhao Chen said, "I didn't say you were alone, and I was sleepy too. My mother just told me to go home for dinner."

Lang Lang asked, "What did your mother cook for you?"

"It's definitely not comparable to Longjingxuan's dishes. It's already eleven o'clock and I won't go back. She should make a fuss and go to school to pick me up after school." Zhao Chen took his coat off the hanger and prepared to go home.

Seeing this, the others felt that it was time to go back. Lang Lang and Bai Yao didn't drink, and Qi Shaocheng and the others didn't dare to relax too much at the end of the year. car.

When Bai Yao was packing up her things, she found that Wen Ti was still sober enough to send them out: "Wen Ti's drinking capacity is okay, and her face doesn't change after a round."

Wen Ti looked like a normal person, and said goodbye to them one by one. Zhao Chen wanted to see how Wen Ti was embarrassed when she was drunk, but it was too late and it was snowing outside. All gone.

Chu Xingmu went downstairs with them to pay the bill. When he came back, he saw Wen Ti stretching his arms to lie on the table. Before he lay down, he cleaned the table carefully. Chu Xingmu felt it was funny and helpless, Don't forget to keep clean even when you are drunk.

Chu Xingmu picked up his coat, scarf and gloves and sat beside Wen Ti and asked him, "Are you going to spend the night here tonight?"

Wen Ti looked up at Chu Xingmu and asked, "Why didn't you stop me from drinking tonight?"

Chu Xingmu put on his coat and pulled Wen Ti up: "If I stop you from drinking?"

Wen Ti took the initiative to stick her head in front of Chu Xingmu and asked him to tie a scarf on him, "I will drink secretly."

"Can you walk by yourself?" Chu Xingmu moved the chair away and asked.

Wen Ti smiled and said, "I'm not drunk."

"People who are drunk like to say that." Chu Xingmu put Wen Ti's hand on his arm, and Wen Ti grabbed his sleeve.

Wen Ti pulled Chu Xingmu's sleeve and went downstairs with him. It may be the reason why Wen Ti often came here to eat. The waiters in the restaurant would always greet him, and Wen Ti would respond one by one. Feeling a little dizzy, Chu Xingmu's back fell on his eyes like a layer of paper was pasted, as if he would disappear in the blink of an eye.

Before walking out of the hotel gate, Wen Ti pulled Chu Xingmu's arm to stop and said, "I can't walk anymore."

"I'll carry you out?"

Wen Ti seemed to see a figure in a trance, blinked and looked again, in front of him was Chu Xingmu, Wen Ti suddenly asked capriciously: "Can you hug me?"

Chu Xingmu turned around and looked at Wen Ti, Wen Ti's eyes were red, Chu Xingmu felt that he was really drunk, Wen Ti looked at Chu Xingmu without blinking, waiting for his reply, Chu Xingmu Regardless of whether there was anyone around, Mu directly dragged Wen Ti by the waist and picked him up. Wen Ti put her arms around Chu Xingmu's neck and buried her face in his scarf.

Chu Xingmu walked out of the restaurant with Wen Ti in his arms, and asked him, "Did Mr. Zhong often hug you like this before?"

"When I was very young, he would hug me for a walk in the park, but he couldn't hold me anymore when I grew up." As soon as Wen Ti spoke, all the heat from Wen Ti's mouth poured into Chu Xingmu's neck.

"He treats you so well, isn't Zhong Changxin jealous?"

"Zhong Changxin is his own grandson, leaving his own grandson alone, but willing to spend time and energy teaching a child who has no future, so I don't like Zhong Changxin."

"This year's first snowfall is really heavy." Chu Xingmu walked down the steps and looked up at the snowflakes that were scrambling to drift into his eyes. It took only two or three hours, and the ground was already completely white.

Chu Xingmu lowered his head and saw two familiar figures not far away. He whispered to Wen Ti, "Say Cao Cao, Cao Cao will be there."

Wen Ti buried her face deeper, like an introverted child who is afraid of seeing people.

Wen Xiangqin and Zhong Changxin walked to Chu Xingmu's side, seeing him hugging Wen Ti, their expressions of surprise were beyond words, Wen Xiangqin asked Chu Xingmu: "What's wrong with him?"

"Drunk at the dinner party, why are you here at this time?"

Wen said to Qin, "Come over and have some supper."

"Come to Longjingxuan for supper, as expected of a rich man, then you go, let's go home first." Chu Xingmu walked between the two of them with Wen Ti in his arms.

Zhong Changxin looked at their backs and pondered for a while, then turned to ask Wen Xiangqin: "Can you hug me like him?"

Wen Xiangqin: "..."

"Pretend I didn't say anything." Seeing that Wen Xiangqin didn't respond, Zhong Changxin passed him into the restaurant, and Wen Xiangqin stood in the snow thinking about life.

No wonder he felt that Zhong Changxin was so similar to Wen Ti in some ways, so he learned from Wen Ti because he thought Wen Ti's habits were taught by his grandfather.

Chu Xingmu's car was parked in the underground garage of Longjingxuan Hotel, some distance away from the hotel, because there were few people in the middle of the night, and there were few footprints on the snow, Chu Xingmu didn't say anything, just hugged Wen Ti to go Going forward, although it is not very strenuous for a person who regularly exercises to hold a grown man, it is not easy, but Chu Xingmu has no intention of letting Wen Ti down at all.

Wen Ti said to Chu Xingmu: "Fortunately, I met you that year."

"What would happen if it wasn't me?"

"After you took Chu Daha away, I went back to the ward wearing blood-stained clothes. The nurse screamed in fright when she saw me covered in blood. It happened that the patrolling security guards in the hospital were in the small warehouse at the back door of Nanjia Found a cat disembowelled and they think I did it."

"They gave me a psychiatric hazard assessment. At that time, Zhong Minglou had passed away for a year. When he was there, I didn't need to take medicine, and I didn't have to go to the treatment room every day to receive those weird treatments. I was 11 years old at that time, and some The doctor thought I had criminal tendencies and transferred me to the intensive care unit, and my father seemed to suddenly remember that he had a son, and when the Wen family came to pick me up, the doctor gave them a psychiatric certificate."

"I don't even know if I'm sick or not. The difference between me and others is that I grew up among lunatics. Their consistent understanding of mental illness is lunatics. Those in the Wen Group who fear me Not because I might become the person in power of the Wen Group, but out of an instinctive avoidance of a mental illness."

Chu Xingmu hugged Wen Ti tightly, walked aimlessly forward as if walking in the snow, and heard Wen Ti revealing her heart to him seriously and attentively.

"The Zhongming Tower pulled me out of the lunatics. He taught me to be a normal person. He placed the conditions he thought a good person should have in my unformed ideas. When I asked him what a mental patient is, He told me that they are people who are marginalized by disease and human society. The only difference between them and normal people is whether they have a self. I asked him why the mental patients can only be locked up. He said that this is to make them full Hope rather than feeling abandoned by society."

"During the seven years I was detained in Nanjia, I could only see the road from the security room. I hoped to see a normal person passing by, so that I could know that there was another world outside."

"My mental illness, my childhood experience, and the environment in which I grew up made me feel like a monster in a cage. In the two years without the Bell Tower, I couldn't even see the sun in Nanjia."

Chu Xingmu's heart tugged hard, and he realized what the photo and sentence Wen Ti sent to him during the day meant. He felt something warm fell on his neck, Stopping on the snow, when everything around was silent, he heard Wen Ti sobbing softly.

Chu Xingmu put Wen Ti down, hugged his shoulders tightly, and Wen Ti said: "I have never lied to others, but I have lied to you so many times. I am afraid that you will find out my secret, I am afraid that you will discover my the bad things you did."

Chu Xingmu couldn't help but have a sore nose, and Wen Ti answered all his questions before asking them.

Chu Xingmu remembered a book he had read on Wen Ti's bookshelf, and there was a passage in it:

He is ashamed of his own existence, and may also hide some small bad habits. He has to read some books he can't understand, participate in the exchange of ideas he can't comprehend, in order to gain vanity and indulge himself, he is poisoned , because for him, thought, education, wealth, and loneliness are all poisons, so that he will definitely develop a habitual revenge mentality and will.

Chu Xingmu found a tissue in his pocket, held Wen Ti's face, and kissed his eyes, nose, and mouth. The shadow under the street lamp spread on the snow, and Wen Ti asked him as if he was sober: "If I If you make the same mistake again in the future, will you break up with me?"

Chu Xingmu wiped his eyes for him and said, "Then you promise me that you won't do it again in the future, otherwise next time it won't be as simple as handcuffing you in the car and freezing for an hour."

Wen Ti nodded, as if she was completely awake, "I had a feeling when I saw you for the first time. Looking back now, maybe it was a premonition that I would fall in love with you in the future."

Although Chu Xingmu didn't show any joy on his face, he was very happy in his heart.

Regardless of his image, Wen Ti wiped his eyes with Chu Xingmu's scarf. It was the first time he cried at such a young age, which somewhat subverted Chu Xingmu's perception of him, but Wen Ti didn't feel that at all in front of Chu Xingmu. Shame, he has been entangled in the past for too long. He has never thought that one day there will be someone who loves him so much. After Lin Shen's incident, Wen Ti's patience has reached the limit. Chu Xingmu is helping him get rid of the past. I want Wen Ti to be able to make up his own mind in the future, and those past should be the thrust for him to move towards the future, not the resistance that stops him from moving forward.

Chu Xingmu pulled his scarf from Wen Ti's hand, and stuffed the tissue into his hand, "There is so much hair on the scarf, why don't you pay attention now?"

Wen Ti said: "As you said, it depends on the occasion. I don't want to go home now."

Chu Xingmu looked at the snowflakes floating in the sky and the snow under his feet, "Then what do you want to do?"

Wen Ti took out two movie vouchers from her coat pocket and said, "I want to watch movies all night."

Chu Xingmu took the movie ticket and stuffed it back into his pocket, and took Wen Ti to the parking lot, not forgetting to ask him: "Are you sober?"

"I wasn't drunk, and I didn't feel sleepy at all after the emotional vent came out."

"Where did you get the movie tickets?"

"Si Shen invited us to watch it. This movie has had twists and turns since the filming started, but it means a lot to Si Si."

It was already one o'clock in the morning when we arrived at the movie theater. Chu Xingmu, who only had work and no entertainment in his life, discovered for the first time that there were so many young people in the night movie theater. They chose two cups of hot coffee in the middle, and found a seat in the first minute of the movie. There were very few people in the theater, which was exactly what they wanted.

Wen Ti held Chu Xingmu's hand and said, "Can I do something else?"

Chu Xingmu looked around, the two cameras were facing the movie screen and viewing area, Chu Xingmu asked him: "Are you sure you want to be here?"

Wen Ti froze for a moment, then turned her face and said, "I want to ask you if I can sit on your lap."

Although the lights in the theater were dim, Wen Ti could still see the meaningful expression on Chu Xingmu's face. He turned his face away and didn't look at Chu Xingmu, but his hand was still hooked on Chu Xingmu's little finger, and Chu Xingmu scratched it. Scratching Wenti's palm, she leaned in front of him and pointed to the warning sign at the door, saying: "In public places, watch movies in a civilized manner. As a family member of a policeman, you should abide by the law."

Wen Ti felt that Chu Xingmu was punishing him on purpose, so she had to concentrate on the movie.

The story of the movie is very strong, Gu Yan and Shen Si are both acting school, and there are many exciting rivalries, and after knowing the relationship between the two of them, Wen Ti can see something in the movie that ordinary audiences can't see, He wanted to share his discovery and the hidden easter eggs in the movie with Chu Xingmu, but when he turned his head, he saw Chu Xingmu resting on the back chair, showing a very tired state, as if supporting him. It was as if the things that were running around had been withdrawn from his body and emptied, but his expression was unprecedentedly relaxed.

Wen Ti stretched out her hand and shook it in front of Chu Xingmu, Chu Xingmu grabbed his hand and put it on his chest, and said in a low voice: "You concentrate on watching the movie, I will sleep for a while."

Wen Ti wanted to withdraw her hand to avoid disturbing Chu Xingmu's rest, so Chu Xingmu simply held Wen Ti's left hand on his chest with both hands, telling him not to move around, so Wen Ti's attention was diverted from the movie When it came to Chu Xingmu.

He had never observed Chu Xingmu so carefully before, because Chu Xingmu rarely showed his fatigue in front of others, and he seemed to have endless energy all the time, running as hard as he could for every case, and She spends her time covering Wen Ti's unintentional mistakes, takes care of his life carefully, and never expresses his feelings.

Wen Ti covered Chu Xingmu with his coat, and turned his attention to the movie again. Chu Xingmu opened his eyes and took a look at him before resting at ease.

When Wen Ti was watching the movie seriously, he seemed to hear Chu Xingmu say in a very small voice: "I love you."

The author says:

After writing this chapter, I came back to life in situ, and an open confession is better than love.Chu Xingmu is a person who can replace words with practical actions. Wen Ti’s characteristic is the wildness of young people, and Chu Xingmu is the affectionateness of adults. The reference and portrayal of this part is natural, so I am very happy!There is also this paragraph in the article "He is ashamed of his own existence, and may also hide some small bad habits. He has to read some books he can't understand, and participate in some exchanges of ideas he can't comprehend, so as to gain vanity, Indulging himself, he is poisoned, because for him thought, education, wealth, and loneliness are all poisons, so that he must breed habitual revenge mentality and will." Reference from Nietzsche's Philosophy.