I still don't want to go to school today

Without thinking, he swung his arm and slammed it against the door.This moment—if it wasn't a hallucination—even the glass of the living room window trembled heavily, as if it was about to jump out of the frame.As if addicted, he made a second, third, and fourth hit.

"Knock knock knock, knock you an ancestor*?! Are you sick?" The door next door should have opened, and someone yelled at this side.

He stopped and started shaking unconsciously.Perhaps at the same time, he felt nauseous and dizzy for a while—then he squatted down and hugged his knees, his back pressed against the cold door, and his spine was throbbing.That person didn't seem to be enjoying himself enough, so he continued to curse: "Day|What's up with your mother at night*——"

"Come here—!" His fucking voice was equally high-pitched.

The shoe cabinet was next to him, exuding the low-quality sweet smell of leather conditioner.The top few layers are all high-heeled shoes, the style is old-fashioned and the color is monotonous, and the edges and corners are sharp like some kind of standard weapon.He turned his head slightly and saw a whole row of neat toe caps. He felt inexplicably as if dozens of fire bags were aimed at him at the same time, so he curled up even tighter.

He heard her coming, and he cried uncontrollably after a black shadow enveloped him.Then he felt that he was forcibly stretched inch by inch, and the joints of his whole body were crackling.

"...I'm sorry." He turned and knelt forward, and the force holding him disappeared suddenly. "I was wrong. Please—"

Please let me go.

……

"The hospital No. [-] lives in is only one month..."

Fu Luojia opened his eyes.

He should have fallen asleep just now, otherwise he wouldn't have found her sitting on the other side of the bed after his mother had spoken.

Without the phone in his hand, he had no way of knowing what time it was.But judging from the sky outside, at least it shouldn't be early morning, the window cut a square of bright sunlight and threw it on the wooden floor.

"Yeah, who knew it would be so soon...it's been sent to the funeral home." She leaned back, and there was an irregular black outline in the sunlight.

"The doctor originally offered to transfer her to another hospital, but she refused because she thought it was too expensive. It's not like you don't know her, she has to rinse the shell of an egg before throwing it away—"

He buried his face in the pillow and rubbed it - his eye sockets were still hot, probably swollen.

"Brother, what do they say, is the mourning hall set up at his place or the funeral parlor?"

"Understood. You can contact Xia Ningyi."

"I'll be there after lunch."

"...That's fine."

The moment his mother hung up the phone and turned around, he quickly closed his eyes.

"Your aunt is gone."

He thought he had been caught pretending to be asleep, but then he realized that his mother was talking to himself, it didn't matter if he heard it or not.

"She died and your uncle didn't come back. Since she was hospitalized until now, your uncle hasn't called a single one.

"When they were young, they fell in love freely. At that time, your aunt liked your uncle very much. Look at it, your aunt has washed his clothes for 30 years and made meals for him for 30 years, and went to the hotel to do cleaning. My little salary has brought up three sons and one daughter, and I have to give your uncle money to let him gamble. The result?"

He opened his eyes again.

"In the end, she still had a few juniors to chip in for the last medical expenses. She called him and hung up after a few words. He was so busy that he could hear the loud mahjong sound on his mobile phone. 30 years That’s it for couples, what are you guys? ——I can understand that others like you, and of course it’s not your fault. But, you shouldn’t like others too.”

His mother lowered her head to meet his gaze. "Did you hear me clearly?"

He opened his mouth but failed to make a sound, and only after waking up did he utter a word: "...um."

"You really don't have that girl's contact information?"

"……Really do not have."

"You made a fuss, I'm too lazy to say anything. Whether you have her contact information or not, I'll cut it off when you go back to school. I'll let you, Teacher Ye, watch over you. I'll know everything. .”

"..."

"Come with me to the funeral home this afternoon."

The trousers he put on the bed should have been washed by his mother, and now there is a pair of cropped trousers with rolled-up trouser legs.As soon as he put on his pants, he realized something was wrong: the color of the scar on his ankle was brighter again, and the surrounding skin began to swell, as if something was coming back to life inside.

He vaguely realized that this might be another trouble, and lowered his trouser legs to cover it up.

After [-] hours of fasting, the first meal is millet porridge and mustard.Stomach cramps started before he finished eating, so much so that he had to hold onto the edge of the sink while washing the dishes.

There is a bit of oil on the blade of the kitchen knife - it was just stained when it was used to cut the mustard bag.He spread the oil with his fingertips, then dipped his fingers under the running water to rinse.

The twisted water flow was mixed with thin red long lines, which lasted for a long time.

He retracted his hand and looked at it, then put his palm on the blade again.

"What are you doing for so long?"

"……immediately."

His mother was sitting on the sofa with his cell phone. "Turn out your WeChat payment transaction records and show me."

"What are you looking at?" Of course he didn't think that this matter would be over today, but he didn't expect that she would think of this one night.The bad thing is - there are things in the transaction records that he really can't explain easily.

"You said you don't have her contact information - have you ever given anything away to others? There will be a record after you buy something, right?"

His mother turned all the way to the end, asking questions one by one.The payment records for eating out can be prevaricated, but the money transferred to Xu Zhijian is the biggest doubt in his mother's place.

After Xu Zhijian is deleted, the transaction record still displays the remark name. "Why did you transfer so much money to that promise?"

"...Just, we had dinner together once, and he settled the bill, and I will transfer it to him later."

"You eat out every day? You don't need to make money, it's cool to spend money. And eat with others, who else but him? I said that you didn't learn anything from mixing with these people—"

He listened for a while with his head down, and then reminded her: "There is an incoming call on your mobile phone."

……

This phone call moved the fucking preaching to the road and the bus, and the voice stopped abruptly after entering an inconspicuous building.

It was very hot and sunny outside, but the temperature here instantly sent people to Siberia.

This is the only funeral home in the county.

Fu Luojia had never been here before, and he was still a little surprised to see the stage and mahjong table inside when he passed the memorial hall.Another, more solemn room had in the center something like a boxy operating table, except that instead of being covered with white cloth, it was as smooth and golden as the lining of a gift box.Before his eyes touched the corpses of Chen Fang above, he moved his eyes away. He couldn't tell whether it was to avoid embarrassment or just because he felt scared.

The corridor is open-air, and the large and small incinerators for burning paper are lined up neatly.Now there are only two burning stoves, and his third uncle is standing in front of one of them.

The third uncle had a pale white flower pinned to his chest, but his face was ruddy. "Why didn't Fu Luojia attend class?"

"He asked for leave for a few days." His mother pushed him, "What about you, talk!"

"……Correct."

Then went into a mourning room.There was a circle of people sitting around the mahjong table, and the sound of shuffling the cards was quite lively.Several middle-aged women were sitting on the sofa next to them chatting, with a fruit plate in front of them.

"...Aiyo, she can't walk steadily, her eyes are as big as teacup lids, and it took a long time for the makeup artist here to close them—"

"I heard that most people died of the disease in the end."

"It's a crime."

"Ning Qing is here? Hey, is this your son? Does he not go to class?"

"I asked for leave from school." He replied dryly.

His mother pushed him again: "Why don't you call someone! Are you polite!"

"When you're here, let's go to the spiritual body first. It's next door." The melon seed shell was spit out.

Fucking frown. "Should he go too?"

"It's right for the younger generation to kowtow to the elders. That's the rule."

He didn't really understand what Shen Ling meant, until he saw the mortuary table in that room - I don't know if it was a psychological effect, it was a little colder than the room just now.

A black and white photo was placed three to four meters in front of the morgue, surrounded by several handfuls of chrysanthemums with drooping eyebrows.A censer with a few sticks of incense was emitting gray smoke, and in front of it was a round futon.

The gray smoke sometimes gathers and sometimes disperses, blurring the space, and the person standing in the same place seems to be pushed to an infinite distance.

His mother didn't say anything, and quickly knelt down on the round futon and kowtowed to the portrait.He followed behind silently.

He nodded and then raised his head, just in time to see the person in the portrait, with a peaceful smile outlined by pure black and pure white on his face.

At this moment, his fingertips suddenly hurt, and there was another person's shadow in the black and white in front of his eyes.

Washed by some sudden emotion, his still swollen eyes began to weep again.

……It was my fault.

forgive me.