I still don't want to go to school today

"...She is going to come back?" Fu Luojia only thought of this possibility.

Dad finally took a look at him.That look did not contain resentment or disappointment, it was calm and quiet. "You should be more considerate of her. Don't be too stubborn, just let it go. Your own situation is not suitable for you to think so much at this time... Focus on what you want to do."

"Your statement is as funny as the apology just now—"

"Gaga."

A hand was on his shoulder, and he shook it off without hesitation. "I'm not as good as a beast." How could he remind himself of such a thing.

"...I was too emotional at the time, and I should apologize to you. But Jiajia, who didn't make a mistake? Forgiving others is also letting yourself go."

"Are you crazy too?"

"I haven't." Dad said again after a moment of silence, "Remember to take your medicine on time. Everything will pass."

"Thank you for your concern." He was not happy with this comfort. "Xu Zhijian is still waiting for me."

Dad was still not angry.Fu Luojia couldn't help but look for traces of undergoing upheaval and madness on his face, but he only saw empty kindness-this is also the temperament that Dad always has, a kind that can be called tranquility or numbness temperament.

"Miss Ye praised you with me. She said that your grades have improved, and she hopes you will do better next time—she has high expectations for you. I wrote down some things to pay attention to in your notebook. Next week I will But come here, tell me if you don't have enough money. It will be fine... Your grandpa can recover well, and you can too. Your collar is not fixed."

He stretched out his hand again, but Fu Luojia didn't hide any more.

……grandfather?

"The winter of the previous year...was not long after entering high school, and I was still in Linshi No. [-] Middle School at that time,"

The classroom in the second class is quieter than the office during the holidays.Because the floor is higher, there is no tree canopy blocking the window, even if the light is not turned on, the indoor light is abundant.

Fu Luojia wasn't sure if Xu Zhijian wanted to hear this.He stared at the metal tip of the ballpoint pen—the reflected sunlight cast a quivering little circle of light on the paper.

"My grandpa—you know, he's not like everyone else—but he seemed normal back then, talked and laughed and didn't lose his temper, and my dad took him back from the nursing home. The one When they said...he was healed."

Xu Zhibian held down the trembling hand.He took a breath, "Your hands are too cold."

"Do you give me warmth?"

He took off the scarf, and started to wrap it around Xu Zhijian's elbow, until it was firmly wrapped around his fingers.

"...Where did I just say?"

"You said your grandfather is well."

"Ah... yes. In fact, he may not be better, it's just what they say-one day he got up very early like before, made us breakfast, and then went out to buy things."

He tried his best to ignore Xu Zhijian's dangling fingers protruding from the soft fabric of the scarf.

"I remember he made beef noodles. My bowl didn't have coriander, my dad's bowl had two fried eggs, and grandma's bowl of less soup...a ​​bit salty, but delicious."

"Your grandpa can cook? I think your dad can too."

"..."

"Are you too?"

"... a little bit." He wanted to talk about what he knew in detail, but stopped in time.

"He told me that he went out to buy Codonopsis ginseng to cook chicken soup for grandma—grandma had a bad appetite. They didn't allow him to go out, but grandma let him out secretly. As a result..."

Xu Zhibian let go of the scarf and held his hand again.He frowned, "He had an accident on the road. The driver wasn't entirely responsible...do you know what I mean?"

"It may have been an accident."

"They said the same thing. But the place where the accident happened... There is no zebra crossing in that place, and you don't have to pass by to buy things. He walked into the traffic flow by himself during the morning rush hour."

"So you think he wants to end it by himself?"

"I don't know." He rolled his eyes. "They keep saying it was an accident, that he's got better, he's recovered, there's no way—"

"But you also said that he knows your preferences and cooks for you. He only goes out to buy tangshen."

"These shouldn't be fake. But if he's not okay at all...it's not surprising. I can..." He hesitated, "Understand him."

"What about when he's not well?"

"It was more yelling and beating. I vaguely remember him... committing suicide, and it didn't seem to work... definitely not. But that was a long time ago."

"how long ago?"

"...I don't remember exactly."

"Don't think so much. I think it was an accident. He's already healed, after all, you are here."

"So what if we're here?"

"He loves you, and you love him too."

He forced a smile, "My dad said that too."

"You don't believe it? Wouldn't it be better for you to say 'owe'?"

He was stunned.

Xu Zhibian turned his face away and made him look out of the window. "I'm glad you told me that--look there! Guess when it's snowing?"

——Snow comes faster than his mother.

One morning after that, Fu Luojia was washing in the shower room and felt that the temperature was extremely low. He opened the rusty screen window and found that the pale thing on the roof was not the cement that was about to freeze and cracked, but the snow accumulated overnight.

It happened to be a weekend in the afternoon, and the dormitory was a bit lively for a while.In the corridor, someone threw some snow from the window sill and threw it around, and the ground was covered with dirty snow water.

When the students were almost gone, a mysterious shadow flashed into the classroom of the second class, and went straight to the position of the back door, but stopped when he saw the red list behind.

"Brother Fuck," Du Ran sniffled, "You are...you know what's going on by yourself? Are you restless?"

"……what do you want to say in the end?"

"I've caught a cold, and I'm in a daze. Don't bother with me." Du Ran stood there for a while, then suddenly stepped forward: "Brother, have you missed me for so many days? I miss you so much." ——Brother Jia is also——shall we hug him?”

Just as Fu Luojia was about to ask him where he had been these few days, he heard Xu Zhijian say, "Didn't you catch a cold? Are you afraid of contagion by hugging others?"

"Okay." Du Ran covered his face. "I knew—Chen Feng scolded me a lot in class when I wasn't around, right?"

"I didn't mention your name, it's still a few yin and yang words, nothing new. Are you still taking the college entrance examination?"

"I'm coming back to sign up right now... They finally agreed to keep my student status, but people have to get out. I won't show up at the school for a few months from tomorrow to the examination room. You are now... ...Study together? Fuck me, brother, change the world!"

Fu Luojia wanted to take back his Chinese answer sheet from Xu Zhijian's hand.

"Where's Qian Miaojie?"

"Her... She asked me to try my best to take the exam in City C."

City C not only has S University, but also provincial accent.

"It's only a year, and it's not very long."

Du Ran took away all the books he left in the classroom.There are not many books, only a canvas bag is filled, but the classroom becomes even more empty because of the lack of so few things.

Only the things on Xu Zhibian's seat are increasing.

"Since it's snowing, let's rest for half a day." Xu Zhijian said with a smile. "I've been thinking for the past few days... When will I be able to eat your dishes?"

They disagreed at first about whether they should open an umbrella in snowy weather.When he came out of the supermarket, Fu Luojia had no choice but to admit that Xu Zhiyan was right: it is best not to hold an umbrella in snowy weather.

Fu Luojia would have very few things, but Xu Zhibian prepared the raw materials according to the standards of the New Year's Eve dinner.In addition, I also bought a lot of snacks that Xu Zhijian "wanted to try when I saw the inexplicable color of the packaging".

The rich content of the shopping cart pushed by Xu Zhijian at the checkout greatly shocked others, so that no one had the courage to queue behind them.

Big and small shopping bags attracted Hei Mi's attention as soon as they entered the door.Some that were really not needed were stuffed into the refrigerator, and the rest piled up on the dining table.

Fu Luojia took a step back and fell into thought.

Xu Zhibian took out a sausage and peeled it off, took a bite and threw it to Hei Mi.

"What do you want to eat?"

"It's okay, as long as you do it."

"You'd better say one, even if you say it casually."

"Hot Pot?"

"……besides."

"If it snows, should we eat lamb?"

"Change another one." This really won't work.

"Is the noodles okay?"

"...The noodles are a little more simple." After all, I bought so many things.

"It's okay, you can make it a little more luxurious. Like mutton noodles."

He sighed. "Forget it, I'll get a few casually."