Datang beauty walk

The car drove through the streets and alleys, away from home, Pu Yu lowered his head and remained silent.She held the handle of the fan in her hand, she lowered her head, and gently rubbed it with her fingers.

At that time, Bi'er didn't know what Pu Yu was thinking.This is the young lady's happy event, but she can't see the joy in the young lady, the young lady is always silent, and Bi'er is very distressed by the young lady's appearance.

But she didn't know how to persuade herself.For Miss, Mrs. Xia, nurse, Chunmei and the others have tried to comfort her many times.When they were persuading, the young lady just listened to what they said neither sad nor angry, neither happy nor sad, then just nodded slightly, and said nothing more.

Miss Xia is like this, Mrs. Xia, Master Xia and the others are relieved.But Bi'er knew that the young lady's really happy appearance was not like this.On the contrary, the young lady acted too calmly, as if the happy event belonged to someone else.

In the past, Miss would talk to her when she had something on her mind, but after arriving in Yangzhou, Miss gradually stopped pouring out her heartfelt words to her, which Bier could clearly feel.

As for why Miss did not agree to this marriage with the Shen family, Bi'er didn't know the real reason.Earlier, the reason why the lady refused was that she didn't know Mr. Shen well, but later, they also met each other several times, so they should be familiar with each other.

At that time, the lady said to herself that she already had someone she liked, but how could she not know when she was by her side?I asked the lady, but the lady didn't want to talk too much.When the lady mentions someone she likes, at that moment, the fleeting look in the lady's eyes that I have caught is the expression of the lady's true temperament, and I have only seen that one time.

At that moment, my heart was beating wildly. Is it because I saw the young lady's true feelings that touched my heart?Or was it because the young lady's fiery eyes were looking directly at me, causing me to have a momentary illusion and my heart beating because of it?

Later, I couldn't find a single answer in the eyes that had been deeply imprinted in my mind.However, afterwards, it was deeply sad, sad about my own life experience and my own situation.

It seemed that there was always an invisible layer between me and the lady, but I didn't know what it was.Although the relationship between myself and Miss is extremely close compared with others.

"Miss, I wish you congratulations!"

Bi'er suddenly remembered that the servants of the Xia family had all congratulated the young lady, and she had never said a word of blessing until now when she was beside the young lady.As a personal servant girl, now I have to say congratulations to Miss no matter what, no matter whether Miss is happy or not, I always say blessings. After all, when Miss is married, it is only once in a lifetime to say congratulations to her.

"Ok?"

The young lady finally reacted, and looked up at her, this look was a little longer than usual.Then the young lady said "um" again, looked away, and closed her eyes again.

Fortunately, the young lady didn't get angry with herself like she did last time when she saw a few verses in the "Book of Songs" that she wrote. Bi'er sighed once again:

"My lady, what are you thinking in your heart?"

Beer leaned her head against the inner wall of the carriage, looking out through the hazy red window screen.On the other side of the car window is the field, and what is planted in the field is not crops, but apricot trees.There are young green apricots on the tree, and the apricots are not yet ripe. It will take another month for the apricots on the tree to turn red and yellow.

On the side of the car window, there is a lake nearby. On the wide still water lake, there is a long bow-shaped bridge with three bridge holes. It was the bridge they just passed when they came, but now it is on the other side; On the hill that meets the lake, there is an octagonal tower that rises above the trees, and its majestic atmosphere can be clearly seen from here.

She knew the tower, and she knew the bridge.Next to the stone steps submerged in the water under the bridge, there used to be three red-roofed painting boats moored.Looking at it now, the three painted boats are still there, and those men and women who got on the painted boats must also go for a tour.

She was here nine months ago.Before the Shen family gave the betrothal gift, the young lady met the young master of the Shen family twice, and the second time they met was on the boat under the bridge.At that time, the young lady and Mr. Shen were on one painting boat, himself and sister Chunxiang were on the other, and the Shen family's servants were on another painting boat.

The three painted boats swam around the lake for a long time, and then a few people got off the boat and boarded the hill. After admiring the pagoda building on the hill, the two went back separately.

At that time, I was on the boat behind, although I could see the young lady and Mr. Shen's family on the painting boat ahead, but I didn't know what they were talking about sitting face to face at the table.

I sat on the boat leaning against the side of the boat, stretched out one arm, and paddled the lake with my hand. Occasionally, when I looked up, I met the lady who was sitting facing this way, looking up here.At that time, I was so stupid that I wanted to wade across the water and go to Miss.

The car was still moving forward, the lake had already passed by them, and the pagoda was no longer visible. Bi'er looked outside, and what she saw was a wide canal again.

The water in the canal is very clear, flowing from west to east, just opposite to their walking direction; the poplar trees by the canal are lined up neatly one by one.On the other side of the canal is the field, and the crops in the field are growing vigorously.

Bi'er looked out of the car and her thoughts drifted away. She recalled the scene of being kidnapped and sitting in the carriage many years ago when she went to burn incense with her mother.

Now that she has grown up, she has ridden in a carriage many times and traveled a long distance. Every time she rides in a carriage, she has different deep feelings: when she was a child, when she went out in a carriage with her father and mother, she was happy; She was extremely terrified when she was far away from her mother and her family in the car; she was helpless when she was sitting in the car with the two boys who were robbed together and their mouths were gagged; Xia’s family fled from Chang’an to When I was in Yangzhou, sitting in the carriage, I was worried and sad with the young lady.

Now that the young lady is married, and I sit in the car facing the young lady, I don't know what is on the young lady's mind.Maybe I'm just a servant, and the lady thinks it's not worth telling her. If there is a lady in the boudoir who has the same status as the lady, she can talk to the lady, then she can tell her thoughts.

How good it would be for my mother to be by my side now, and no one can tell my sadness to anyone. If I can tell my mother, maybe it can resolve the sorrow in my heart.

I have a secret feeling for Miss. For a long time, I have been confused by the pain of this feeling, accompanied by a trace of fear.Now that the young lady is getting married, my heart is full of sorrows and joys. Mr. Shen can read and write poems, behaves well, and looks good. I can sing and make peace with the young lady in the future. From now on, I can completely let go of this secret feeling in my heart. will also be liberated.

From the beginning of this special feeling in my heart to the time when I really saw it clearly, over the years, I was often worried and afraid of showing this kind of emotion in front of the young lady.

The lady is the person who cares most about me in this world, but I dare not tell her such unethical feelings.Sometimes I think, wouldn't it be nice to be by Miss's side and just watch her quietly from the sidelines?

However, in the end, I realized that the closer I was to my lady, the more painful I was.Every move, every look, every smile of the lady can touch my heart.At this time, I was so afraid that I would be in a daze and expose my feelings.

I don't know how the young lady will treat herself once she knows this demon of her own, drive it away?Or do you not allow yourself to be by her side and take care of her daily life?

This feeling of not being able to see the light, not being in vain to others, and even feeling a little shameful tormented my heart. I stayed up all night for many days and nights, facing the dark night alone, deeply painful and self-reproaching: Could it be myself or the world Said freak?Why is my life so upside down? ——I often think like this in the dark night.

Now that the young lady is married, this relationship of mine will also be let go. Isn't this a good thing?Although there is a little sadness in my heart, but so, my heart should be relieved.

Maybe I am destined to be lonely, why is it not a cloud in the sky, a drop of water in the river, or a tree on the mountain when I was born?But to be born as a human?

The gongs and drums were beating intermittently along the way, and Bier's thoughts were sometimes interrupted by the sounds outside the car, and she woke up from her memories, but soon, those sounds were isolated by her distant memories, and she remembered the time she had with her. The happy scene when parents set off firecrackers together - how are parents now?The two brothers have grown up too, right?

She can clearly remember the scene when she was taken away outside the temple that day.But what her parents looked like, and where her home was, she didn't have the slightest impression in her mind.The only thing she remembers is that there is a pair of big stone lions in front of her house. She once played with her brothers under the stone lions.

Therefore, whenever she sees a stone lion in front of someone's house, she can't help but look at it, wondering if there are her parents among those people who come in and out.However, everything in her memory was gradually erased with the years. She could no longer remember the faces of her parents, the days when she was with them, let alone their names.It seems that at that time, I didn't hear my family call my parents' names, maybe I didn't pay attention when I was a child.

This parting from her relatives is an eternal pain in her heart. She misses them, but cannot see them.

☆, married ([-])