pathos

Instead, young and fashionable college students make up the majority.

Dr. Naruse ordered tempura, skewers and a variety of appetizers. He obviously preferred beer to shochu, and he was obviously drunk by the end of the drink. From the beginning, the serious "Tezuka-kun and Fuji The topic of Jun Zhen is young and promising" gradually deviated to "doctors are really not human jobs" and "wife doesn't understand me at all".

Fuji probably often drank with Dr. Naruse, didn't mind this kind of scene at all, and echoed with ease: "Narase-san's wife is a great beauty, everyone is envious."

"It's just a face. Sooner or later, the appearance will relax and become an old woman. She doesn't listen to me at all, so it depends on the personality of two people."

Dr. Naruse poured himself another large glass of beer, his heroic appearance couldn't find the gentleness he had in the hospital during the day.

"Don't Tezuka-kun have a girlfriend? You're handsome and an athlete, so there must be a lot of beautiful girls who are fascinated by you, right? Parents will be anxious."

"I haven't considered this aspect yet, and my parents don't seem to care too much."

There are quite a few girls who have expressed their kindness to Tezuka, but Tezuka basically rejected them as "not yet ready for this".Generally speaking, for an only son who is nearly 30 years old, the parents in the family will always urge them desperately, and even arrange various blind dates, but the two elders of Tezuka seem to understand their son's personality too well, chatting is mostly life and Regarding work matters, I have never mentioned a word to my future significant other.

"Ah, my family may be because there are older sisters and younger brothers, and I don't seem to be in a hurry."

Buer also drank a lot, but he couldn't tell he was drunk, and he was delivering the last fried shrimp on the plate to his mouth.

"Ah...Fuer, what happened to your father is really a pity...it's a pity..."

Tezuka raised his eyes to look at Dr. Naruse who was muttering to himself, and some vague words entered Tezuka's ears verbatim.Fuji seemed to avoid this topic on purpose, and poured another glass of beer for Naruse.

Satisfied with food and drink, Fuji helped Dr. Naruse, who was a little unsteady on his feet, into the taxi, and finally heaved a sigh of relief as he watched the taxi go away.

"I didn't expect Dr. Naruse to invite Tezuka, and I was shocked."

"Do you often drink together?"

"Usually there will be other doctors and nurses. You should be invited today, so I didn't call other people."

The tavern was not far from the hospital, and it took them only about 10 minutes to walk there. The mother was already in good health, and the father was always looking after her.

Tezuka fumbled in his purse and found his car keys.

"Go back to the hospital parking lot, I'll take you back."

"Ah~ Is Minister Tezuka, who has always been law-abiding, going to break the law for drunk driving?"

Tezuka did drink alcohol, but only drank two small cups of shochu. Although the amount of alcohol content will not change the fact that he broke the law, Tezuka Kunimitsu now clearly believes that he can't just let him know nothing. Under the circumstances of the situation, let Buer Zhouzhu go back home.

Although Fuji said something like: "Be careful, I will report you.", but he followed Tezuka into the car very willingly.Tezuka started the engine, fastened the seat belt, turned on the headlights and the air conditioner, and the cool wind came out from the air outlet, and Fuji sat on the co-pilot and yawned happily.

The CD automatically memorized and played shortly after starting, and Tezuka didn't stop it.

"Pathetic, Tezuka really still likes Beethoven?"

The music starts from the second movement, and the extremely elegant Adagio music is played out bit by bit, warm and pious, as gentle as the winter sun.

There was no talking all the way, probably because the alcohol content in his body was higher than 0.05%, Tezuka avoided the main road and moved forward quickly from another small road with almost no cars passing by.

""The best people find happiness through pain" as Beethoven said. "

Fuji suddenly spoke at the end of the melodious second movement.The legato, which poured down like a heavy rain at the beginning, brought them into the third movement full of youthful vitality.

From the corner of his eye, Tezuka saw that Fuji was holding his chin with his right hand, and his eyes drifted to the passing light and shadow outside the car window.

"Hey, Tezuka, do you have alcohol at your parents' house?"

☆、The tenth movement

On the day when Fuji returned from abroad, Fuji's father Kazuhiko Fuji had been ill for more than half a month.Fuji managed to get his father admitted to the Neurosurgery Department of Tokyo General Hospital through Oishi Shuichiro's relationship, and he was finally able to settle down in the same hospital for various reasons.

As a doctor specializing in neurosurgery, Fuji could have served as his father's attending doctor, but due to the relationship between father and son, he finally asked another colleague. After a series of complicated examinations, the final diagnosis was the same as what Fujisuke predicted. Cerebellar tumors are very rare malignant tumors in brain tumors.

Fuer Yumiko, who is married, and Fuji Yuta, who works far away from home, both rushed home and sat around the living room with Fuji Shuzi, who was haggard, discussing whether his father should undergo surgery.

Bu Er Zhou Zhu had been subjected to various inquiries long before his family called him. As the only doctor in the family, everyone repeated tirelessly like grasping the last straw: "What should I do?" question.

Buer suppressed his voice and said, "Just leave it to the attending doctor to make a judgment."

"Isn't it just a tumor? It's fine to remove it. Even if it recurs later, at least it can prolong life, right?" Yumiko rubbed her hands anxiously, her tone trembling.

"How could it be so simple." Fuji Yuta made a calm voice. After ten years, his face could no longer see the traces of the innocence of the year when he was jealous of his brother.

Fuji Shuko, who has always paid attention to maintenance, seems to have aged ten years overnight, and a few tears leaked from the corners of her swollen eyes. Fuji Yuta knew that she had said something wrong and leaned over to comfort her mother, whispering all the time: "It's okay, it must be okay .” words.

Fuji felt fear from this atmosphere.

Whether it is mother, sister, or brother, they are all afraid that their father will die.

But in such a family, Fuji Zhousuke couldn't speak, he was afraid that he would tell the cruel fact that "father is hopeless".

It would be great if I could believe in the miracle of "won't it be enough to remove the tumor" like ordinary people.

Everyone was silent.

From studying medicine abroad, to Yumiko's marriage, to Yuta's hard work in a foreign land, this family once again brought everyone together completely because of this cruel reason.

Fuji felt suffocated.

Fuji Kazuhiko’s disease has developed to a very difficult point. Not only is vision and hearing impaired, but even the nerves that control swallowing have been destroyed. If the tumor is allowed to develop, it will sooner or later cause death due to damage to the respiratory nerves.Fuji Zhousuke spent three days reviewing all the relevant information. Ten years of experience as a doctor is enough for Fuji to make a judgment that "Fuji Kazuhiko can live for a month at most." No one else can change it.

Moreover, this disease is not a beautiful disease that can buy time by surgery.It is absolutely impossible to remove the tumor at this site through surgery. Even if a very small part is removed, this kind of direct stimulation of the brain will only cause the patient to die within 24 hours.

That is to say, in the world, there is no means to overcome this disease.

The whole family argued meaninglessly for a long time, and finally Fuji Shuko threw the problem to Fuji Shusuke.

"What do you think... what should we do?"

Buer shook his head: "At this point, I can only choose between surgery or not, and I'd better listen to the doctor in charge."

Ling Mo gave an ambiguous answer, but Bu Er knew better than anyone else that his father's death was unavoidable no matter whether he underwent surgery or not.

Fuji Yuta looked at his indifferent brother silently and said in a low voice: "Is it better to try even if you fail? Because if you leave it alone, there is really no hope for it?"

Everyone remained silent, and the solemn atmosphere urged Fuji Shusuke to answer.

"It doesn't matter whether you are a father or not." Fuji swallowed this sentence, and silently took a sip of the cold tea.

"Let's ask Dad what he thinks."

In the end, Fuji Shusuke evaded the question.

☆、No.11 movement

Fuji Kazuhiko decided to undergo the operation on his own.

Takagi, the attending doctor in charge of Fuji Kazuhiko, asked Fuji: "Do I need you to do it?"

"I don't want to cut open my father's head myself, just let me observe or arrange an assistant."

On the morning of the day of the operation, Fuji Zhouzhu came to the ward. In addition to his family members, some former colleagues and friends of his father gathered in the ward, and he heard them laughing loudly.

"Let's go to the hot spring again when you are well. The feeling of watching snowflakes soaking in the hot spring is really unstoppable."

"I haven't given you the special products I brought you on a business trip last time. I will give them to you when you are well."

"That guy Sasaki is finally married, let's go to his new house next time."

Everyone said all kinds of words of encouragement to the father on the hospital bed. It seemed that the father could not hear what they were discussing clearly, but he still nodded his head to cooperate with them.

Once again, Fuji felt that he was out of place with everyone.

An hour later, the nurse came in to tell everyone that visiting hours were over and it was time to start preoperative preparations.Everyone reluctantly bid farewell to Fuji and Yan, repeating the meaningless encouragement of "come on" and "no problem".

In the end, only Fuji's family was left in the ward. Fuji took his father's temperature. Although his father was no longer visible, he seemed to know that the other party was Fuji Shusuke and held his hand vigorously.

While being surprised that his father still had such great strength, Fuji suddenly thought that maybe this was the last time he held his father's hand who was still alive, and the strength in his hand could not help but increased by three points.

Bu Er felt that the corner of his father's mouth moved, and he struggled to distinguish what his father wanted to express by the shape of his lips.

"Take care, thank you."

Bu Er stood in the corridor of the hospital a little decadently. His father said these words to him, maybe he had already expected that he would not be able to get off the operating table.

Immediately after the operation began, my father fell into a coma due to the injection of anesthesia. Fuji helped my father to straighten the white hair on his forehead, and it was the first time that he discovered that his father had been so emaciated due to the disease.

Among my father's family and friends, I was the only one who firmly believed in my father's death from the very beginning.

The operation lasted more than 8 hours. As soon as Buer walked out of the operating room, he was surrounded by his family members.

Fuji Shuko asked anxiously: "How is it, did you succeed?"

Fu Er glanced lightly at the other colleagues who came out of the operating room from the corner of his eye, and said lightly, "I've tried my best."

"Is it cured or not?" Yumiko asked.

There is no success or failure, no cure or no cure, Fuji felt a little out of breath, and he really wanted to tell everyone the fact that "Fuji Kazuhiko will die within 24 hours".

"Then it's up to Dad's own will."

When the family members heard the unerring answer, they stopped asking questions and could only continue to wait with their own unease.

☆、No.12 movement

"This kind of topic is indeed very heavy."

Fuji and Tezuka sat side by side on the sofa in the living room of Tezuka's house. Fuji drank a large bottle of plum wine and told the story with the strength of the wine.

"and after?"

"And then it was the next morning, before the sun came up, that my father died."

Bu Er exhaled a long breath.

"Probably about a week after we met for the first time after our respective return to China, it's strange that I ran out to eat with my former friends when my father was in danger."

Fuer's face was already very red due to the effect of alcohol, and his eyes were vacillatingly staring at the empty wall in front of him.

"When my father's heart stopped beating, the whole family fell down in front of my father's hospital bed, and I was the only one who stood upright as if I was out of the way. Is it because I knew the result a long time ago or for some other reason? In short I just stood there coldly."

"Hey, Tezuka, I'm really a cold person, right?"

Tezuka Kunimitsu took away the glass with half a glass of plum wine left from Fuji's assistant, and Fuji lay on the sofa as if he was out of strength, without the slightest sign of resistance.

"No two."

"Ok?"

"Sad?"

"It's sad."

"You just divided everyone's sadness after your father's death into every day from the day you expected the end."

The incandescent lamp in the living room was a bit dazzling, so he lay on the sofa and covered his eyes with his right arm.

"Tezuka is really good at comforting people."

"It's just telling the truth."

"Tezuka, what do you think of me?"

"Very strong."

"Only be strong."

Fuji Shusuke, who was lying on the sofa, still had that familiar arc at the corner of his mouth. Tezuka felt that he really didn't look like a big man who was nearly 30 years old, just like back then.

"Also, I like you." Tezuka said.

"Do you mean friends or lovers?"

"I always thought it was the kind that was above friends, but I just confirmed that it's the kind of lovers."

Fuji took away the arm that covered his eyes, his eyes that hadn't adapted to the strong light were dim, and Tezuka wasn't sure if Fuji had been frightened by his flushed cheeks due to the effect of alcohol.

"Tezuka, don't run away at all. Since junior high school, I have been frankly moving towards my goal without any worries. It is probably because of this that I regard you as a beacon."

Tezuka leaned down to get closer to Fuji's face.

"Then why are you running away?"

Tezuka kissed Fuji's lips that smelled strongly of alcohol, and he felt that he was probably drunk too.

"Since I am your beacon, you can just keep up with me."

Ten years have passed since the last time they possessed each other.

In addition to the faint smell of alcohol on Fuji's body, there was also the smell of hospital disinfectant, Tezuka felt that the weight in his arms was like a fairy descending from another world.

Tezuka suddenly thought that ten years ago, he also possessed the other party in the same way.

Did Fuji realize that this vague impulse was not caused by alcohol ten years ago?

Tezuka was a little puzzled, but at this moment he had no time to think deeply.

The ignorance of the past ten years has been washed away in just a few months.Tezuka knew that every time he met Fuji, his feelings for Fuji deepened.Tezuka didn't expect that he would change so easily, his reason was swallowed up by impulse, and this impulse came from Fuji Shusuke.

Don't run away anymore, he told those below him.

We have been going around for ten years, no matter whether we are walking side by side or running in opposite directions, we are just advancing straight around the earth. You see, we have returned to the original point, exactly the same as ten years ago.

☆、No.13 movement

The next day, both of them had to go to work, and they had to struggle to get out of bed with a hangover and a heavy body due to some unspeakable reasons, while Tezuka Kunimitsu was already fully armed and even prepared breakfast.

Fuji can only sigh in his heart that Tezuka Kunimitsu is worthy of being an athlete.

Tezuka sent Fuji to the hospital, and Fuji said sullenly, "Your mother will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow."

"Well, I'll pick her up after get off work tomorrow."

"Then, thank you very much for sending me to work early in the morning. See you next time."

When Fuji opened the car door, the hot breath immediately surrounded him.

"No two."

"Ok?"

"This time, there is no need to escape."

Fuji laughed out loud, it seemed that he was quite concerned about the fact that he went abroad to study medicine without saying a word.

"I signed the contract, and I can't escape this hospital for the time being."

Tezuka glanced at Fuji, his honey-colored back looming in the sunlight, getting further and further away, and finally disappeared around the corner.Tezuka's expression softened, he turned the car around, and drove in the opposite direction to Fuji.

The pathetic third movement ends and returns to the beginning of the first movement.

They will eventually return to the same place.

☆, extra eight point five movement

Tezuka Ayana just finished the operation, although she should be very responsible to pay attention to the patient to the end as a doctor instead of rounds, but Fuji Shusuke, who started the operation in the morning and has to be on night shift in the evening, really doesn't have the energy at this time Live up to your sense of responsibility.

That being said, Fuji still sorted out his facial expressions and came to the inpatient department where Ayana Tezuka was, and greeted the enthusiastic nurses. He met Oishi Shuichiro in the hospital on a rare occasion.

Oishi Shuichiro is the same as a junior high school doctor. He is rigorous and serious as a doctor, and he is also very friendly to patients. You can always hear nurses discussing rumors that some patients want to introduce their daughters to Dr. Oishi.

Oishi seems to have just finished visiting Tezuka Ayana, and the two often have small gatherings in private. Coupled with their friendship since junior high school, the conversations are all over the place.

"Are you busy today?" Fuji asked Dashi.

"Three major surgeries were performed today."

"That's really hard work, can you get off work normally?"

Oishi shook his head: "It was agreed that I would accompany Eiji to buy toothpaste today... But it seems that we will miss the appointment again..."

Buer saw Dashi's annoyed face, thinking that he was also a victim of this situation, he couldn't say any words of comfort for a while.

"Eiji will be angry, but he will understand you in the end."

Eiji Kikumaru and Hideichiro Oishi have formed an indissoluble bond since they were golden partners in junior high school, and they have been very good "friends" until now. I heard from Oishi that Kikumaru became a stand-in actor because of his flexible body, and he was also rejected many times. Director Xiangzhong wanted to transfer him from behind the scenes to the front of the stage, but Kikumaru refused.

"Because if you attract attention, you can't be free."

It seems that Kikumaru said so.

"By the way, Oishi, the orthopedics department is making a list of overseas study recently, don't you want to apply? It will be very helpful in the future."

"Well, you have to leave for at least a year..."

Dashi scratched his head, which was his habitual action when he wanted to hide.

"Did you give up so many opportunities because of Eiji?"

Oishi no longer looked into Fuji's eyes.

"Oishi, you and Eiji are lovers, right?"

Fuji asked the question that had been kept in his heart, maybe he didn't need to ask, because he had expected Dashi's answer a long time ago.

Dashi didn't make a sound, staring at a small stone at his feet, he nodded firmly.

"But I don't regret the things we gave up for each other."

Seeing Dashi's firm eyes, Buer was slightly shocked in his heart, and at the same time, his feelings were quietly shaken.

"And what about you? What about you and Tezuka?"

"Me and Tezuka?"

"Haven't you thought about being a lover or something?"

"how is this possible……"

Unlike Oishi Kikumaru, Tezuka and Fuji never thought of giving up anything for each other. They each have their own stable jobs and social circles, and they are independent of each other on the road of mutual growth. They have never even looked directly at this relationship.

"Do you like Tezuka?"

Oishi's question kept echoing in Fuji Shusuke's head, like a spell.

When she came to the ward, Ayana Tezuka was watching TV. Looking at the fine beads of sweat on her forehead, she knew that this strong woman was enduring severe pain.

Tezuka Kuniharu was snoring evenly on the bed next door. His wife's exhaustion from the past few days after the successful surgery must have come to him.

What Fuji didn't expect was that Tezuka Kunimitsu also fell asleep leaning on the sofa, his glasses were not taken off, and he was breathing steadily, it seemed that he was just in a light sleep.Probably just wanted to close my eyes and rest for a while, but I underestimated my tiredness these days, and fell asleep without knowing it.

Fuji greeted Ayana Tezuka in a low voice, opened the hospital gown and gave her a rough inspection of the wound, brought two painkillers and a cup of warm water to feed Ayana and drank it.Then, because he was worried about waking Tezuka Kunimitsu, he softly leaned against Caicai's ear and told her, "The wound is fine, and I will come over tomorrow morning to change the gauze for you."

Tezuka Ayana probably relieved the pain somewhat because of the medicine she took, and smiled kindly at Fuji.

"Fuer-kun, can I call you Zhou Zhu directly?"

"Ah, of course."

Fuji was a little overwhelmed by Ayana's sudden words, accidentally raised the volume, and immediately looked towards the sofa nervously. Fortunately, Tezuka hadn't woken up yet.

"I think Guoguang must like you very much."

Fuji, who has always been calm, suddenly straightened up like an electric shock, and it took a few seconds for his brain to realize that the "like" Tezuka Ayana said and the "like" he defined in his mind were definitely not likes in the same sense.

"Well... well, I like him quite a bit, in the sense of a friend."

"Oh, what a pity. It's just in the sense of being friends. It seems that Guoguang is going to be dumped."

For the first time in his life, Fujisuke didn't know how to continue the topic. He just felt his head went blank, and a corner of his heart was secretly expecting Ayana Tezuka to laugh and say, "I'm just kidding."

Tezuka Ayana turned her eyes to Tezuka Kunimitsu who was on the sofa, her eyes were full of kindness.

"I can read a lot of things from his expressionless face, even things he didn't notice. This is the intuition of a mother."

As the only child in the family, Tezuka is nearly 30 years old. Normally speaking, how could the parents not be in a hurry to hope that their son would find a gentle and virtuous girlfriend to start a family?

If he becomes a lover with himself, he will bear a lot of invisible pressure.And this is exactly what Fuji Zhou Zhu doesn't want to see.

"As a mother, I think that as long as Guoguang feels happy, it's fine. Love is not for outsiders to judge."

"I'm sorry..." Fuji bowed his head.

"Apologizing means that you really like Guoguang too?"

Suddenly, Oishi nodded firmly when he was asked if he and Eiji were lovers in Fuji's mind. I don't know if his nodding now is exactly the same as Oishi at that time.

Caicai raised her hand, motioning for Buer to go to the bed, and Buer obeyed obediently, Caicai gently stroked Buer's head, he felt itching, and a warm current gushed out from his heart little by little.

It turned out that his escape for so many years was meaningless at all. He escaped from Tezuka Kunimitsu when only he was aware of this feeling. Bury this throbbing deep in my heart.But he didn't expect that escaping was useless. Even after ten years, he knew from the moment he heard Tezuka Kunimitsu's voice again that they were destined to return to the original point.

"I have received such great care from you this time, and I don't have anything else to thank you for."

Ayana Tezuka pulled away her arm and gently pinched Fuji's cheek.

"My son, I will leave it to you."

The author has something to say: This is the first time I tried such a rambling writing style.

It describes a lot of irrelevant things. People who like this style will like it very much, but most people will think it is full of nonsense.

I like the feeling of "doomed to escape".This may also be the opportunity to write this article.

Thank you very much if you can read this far.That's the end of this article.

Dedicated to my original intention, I am very happy to meet Tsuka Fuji. I hope that in the future, whether it is them or us, we can go on unswervingly and with all our strength.