duet

That night Pei Xun had a dream.

He clearly knew that this was a dream—the same dream had recurred too many times in various stages of his life.Like an inherent alarm bell, or a burning line of defense, reminding him to stop losses in time.

He lowered his head and saw the ironed collar shirt and overalls on his body, so he knew what age group he was.As expected, a female voice that only echoed in dreams rang out: "Here... come up quickly."

He saw his mother walking up the stairs quickly, and when he saw him standing in front, he paused for a moment, then turned back to greet the man behind him: "Don't worry, there is no one at home."

That strange man had a good appearance with red lips and white teeth, he was the type that women liked the most.Hearing what she said, he stepped up, put his arms around her waist and kissed her deeply.After the kiss was over, he saw the child behind him and raised his eyebrows: "Your son?"

"The child is fine." She said, pushing him into the room impatiently, and slamming the door hard.Through the door, Pei Xun could still hear her murmur gradually turned soft: "Don't worry about it so much... um... hurry up..."

At that time, he was only five or six years old, and he didn't know what happened in the place across the door.Afterwards, his mother leaned against the door to send the man away, and it took him a while to remember his existence: "Xiao Xun? Come here."

He walked up to her obediently.

"You like your mother the most, don't you?" She knelt down and pinched his face lightly, "Will you do anything for me?"

He nodded ignorantly.

"Today's matter should be kept secret." She kissed him on the forehead, her lips were bright red and clear, "Mom loves you the most too."

Said that the mother who loved him the most had disappeared in less than half a year.Before leaving, I didn't even tell him, let alone say goodbye.After two weeks, he remembered to ask the housekeeper, where did mother go?

Ma'am... Your mother won't be back. The housekeeper changed her name in time, paused, and suddenly whispered in a mysterious way, maybe Miss Zhao will be the new wife in the future, and you should like her too.

At that time, his grandfather had just passed away, and Pei Hong firmly grasped all the power of the family, so naturally there was no need to maintain the previous marriage.Either way, both of them are happy to pursue their own happiness. Once the marriage contract is broken, the secret affairs are brought to light. At that time, many beautiful women with different characteristics frequently come and go in and out of his house. The one surnamed Zhao The surname Sheng and the surname Tang, he couldn't remember who was who.After listening to the butler's words, he also nodded seriously, expressing his understanding.

Miss Zhao came to look for his father that night, but couldn't find him, so he was in vain.Probably thinking that the trip would not be in vain, she found Pei Xun and sat down beside him.

She seemed to have had some wine, otherwise she wouldn't have asked something that she wouldn't say easily: between me and that Bai...Xiao Xun, who do you like more?

He remembered the butler's instruction, of course he said: I like you.

He was old enough to know that the "new lady" the butler referred to was his new mother.He didn't reject her, and even had a little expectation for this matter-Miss Zhao was kind to him, often brought him gifts, and her smile was very sweet... He was very happy when he saw her.

For the moment she was delighted by his answer.She smiled slightly and rubbed his hair: "That's right, I also really like Xiao Xun."

...But she didn't even bother to pretend for too long.After becoming Pei Hong's second wife, it didn't take long for her to care less about him.The past concerns are like paper, just whitewashing the appearance.He heard her say to his father: "Don't you want a child of our own? . . . Your son is not mine..."

A year later, Pei Hong filed for divorce from her.She pointed at him and shouted: "I'm not good enough for you?! Be someone else's stepmother for you! Even your son has to bother to please! You..."

At that time, he thought silently, it doesn't matter, at least his father won't leave.No matter how Pei Hong treats him, at least he will always be there, and his father is not without warmth. Occasionally, for a moment or two, Pei Hong will look at him and say: "You are my only son , everything about me will be yours from now on, so you have to..."

In the past, whenever he was angry and disappointed by Pei Hong's decision, these words would always have an incredible soothing effect on him - at least for one person, he was unique and irreplaceable.The father-son relationship is as irreplaceable as a rock, and no one can change it, so the father's love will not change, maybe that person is just not so good at expressing...for this "uniqueness", he is willing to do a lot of things.

The time was moved rapidly, and the scene and people in front of him were blurred for a moment. Xu Liang's voice came from a far away place: If I say...you may have an older brother?

……

Cold sweat dripped from his forehead and onto his eyelashes, waking him up.Pei Xun opened his eyes, and saw Zhou Nian was staring at him, with a little panic in his eyes.He wiped the sweat off Pei Xun's forehead, and whispered, "Did I hurt you last night?"

He hardly slept all night. "Is this a confession?" He hugged Pei Xun and closed his eyes, but he didn't feel sleepy at all, "He...he confessed to me?!"

It's really not like what he would do.But throughout the night, as soon as he thought of this sentence, his drowsiness was immediately swept away, and countless little joys poured into his heart, filling him like an inflated hydrogen balloon.

He seemed to fall asleep briefly in the middle of the night, and woke up again at dawn.He didn't want to leave Pei Xun, and he didn't want to wake him up, so he just looked at him silently.This satisfies him.

He carefully studied the man's sleeping face.Pei Xun frowned slightly, his eyes were slightly blue, and he looked very tired.This was not necessarily caused by the nonsense last night. The memory that had been put aside for a long time finally came back slowly. He remembered that since the day he was injured, Pei Xun seemed to have been busy with something, making and answering a lot of calls that were rare.Prior to this, Pei Xun had been preparing a piece of work, and was extremely busy; after he was injured, he guarded him all day long, doing a lot of hard work.

He is about... not at all easier than himself.

It didn't take long for him to feel distressed, Pei Xun's brows suddenly tightened, and cold sweat oozes from his forehead, as if it hurts somewhere.Pei Xun didn't answer, so he had to carefully reflect on what happened yesterday, maybe because he didn't expand carefully, and he was too emotional later, so he stopped...

After a while, Pei Xun seemed to have finally recovered from the nightmare.He touched Zhou Nian's head and said, "No. I had a nightmare."

"Really?" Zhou Nian suspected that he said this on purpose to reassure himself - this kind of thing is not without precedent.

"Really." Pei Xun took his hand and interlocked his fingers, "It's very scary..."

He moved a little closer to Zhou Nian, as if he was really frightened.Zhou Nian hugged him and asked with a smile: "Are you afraid of anything?"

"Yes," Pei Xun said, "I'm terrified."

His voice suddenly softened, no longer sounding like a joke.Zhou Nian was startled, and unconsciously tightened his arms: "It won't happen again in the future."

"What kind?" Pei Xun laughed.

"...to make you worry." Zhou Nian said.

His tone was extremely solemn, as if making an oath.Pei Xun looked at him deeply, and after a while he smiled and rolled his eyes: "I think so too."

"From the beginning, I was thinking," he stroked the side of Zhou Nian's face with his fingers, "my baby may only be this low once in a lifetime... It's so rare, I can't miss it."

"...Did you find me annoying?" Zhou Nian bit his neck, his voice muffled.

"How dare you." Pei Xun just smiled.

Among us, who is more worried?He suddenly felt a little funny, how dare he find you annoying?It's too late to like you, while you still like me...

They all stopped talking.

Suddenly there was a distant thunder outside the window, and the wind whizzed past, bringing a torrential rain, and the raindrops hit the doors and windows loudly.The sound of the sea tide and the sound of wind and rain mixed together, one low and one clear, almost like a piece of music.

A cool breeze blew in faintly, Zhou Nian tightened the quilt, wrapping both of them in this small warm room.He hugged Pei Xun tightly, and Pei Xun also hugged him, the sky was dim, and even though the lights were not turned on, he felt his heart was bright, as if there was an infinite future to look forward to.

He remembered a poem.

how beautiful it is to be alive

since i was born

And because, in your heart.

poem from dickinson