Xing Dao Zhe I Dao Shu

My name is Li Jiacheng, the addition of addition, the multiplication of multiplication, someone asked me why I was called this name, how ugly!Then I will tell you my story

On a June day in 1994, a group of people in a hospital in Zhongshan Town gathered outside the delivery room as if they were about to pee and poop. Lao Li, who squatted aside and scooped up his scalp, said, "Oh, what's the matter? They all entered the delivery room for ten days." It's been two hours, why is there no sound at all?

Lao Li, Li Siming is also my father, a loyal and honest man!At this time, my grandma heard Lao Li's words, swung her crutches, hit Lao Li's buttocks, and said, "You old boy, your wife is working hard inside, and you are talking sarcastic outside, are you just looking for a sorcerer?" ah?

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My family owns a processing factory in the town, that is, the food processing that Lao Li and his childhood partners invested in. My father, Lao Li is also a small shareholder, but he works from top to bottom, up to the top Management, he went down to the workshop to carry sundries, so the people in the factory nicknamed him Old Litou!

Today I just finished my work and was about to apply for my household registration. A factory team leader in the distance shouted: "Old Li, why do you leave work so early today?"

My father Lao Li looked at it and said: Oh! But it is San'er.Didn't I agree with Director Huang to get my son's household registration? It's time, I have to go, or it's not good for people to leave in a hurry!

After finishing speaking, Lao Li rode his 125 black bicycle and went to the institute. He was thinking while riding, oops!What will you name it?Named Bruce Lee?Not good, this name is too ruthless, maybe when I grow up, I will become a gangster, and my name is Li Yapeng, this is not good, it is too dazzling and fancy!After a while, I arrived at the office. As soon as I entered the door, I saw Director Huang who was like a fat cat. Lao Li saw him and said: "Old Huang!It has been ten months since my son's hukou can't be registered, and if he doesn't, it's too late!

Director Huang said: Oh, Lao Li, we are old classmates, don't worry, I will fix it for you, take a look! !

My dad thought to himself, you old Huang, my son doesn’t even have a name, so you can fix it, I have to see```````

When I got it and saw it, my dad was taken aback. Li Jiacheng, my son’s name is Li Jiacheng, and said: Lao Huang, did you spell Li Jiacheng wrong?

At this time, Director Huang said: "I'm so sorry, Lao Li, the girl who just got the registered permanent residence didn't come to work. I have something to do at home, so I will register it for you. You know, all the knowledge I learned when I was studying will be returned to the school." up!It just so happens that your family has a big business, and you have a son who is not called Li Jiacheng.But I can't add the multiplication of Li Jiacheng, I only know this multiplication, so I have to board it!

Just like that, the original Li Jiacheng was turned into Li Jiacheng by this stupid director!no way!In the end, Director Huang was dismissed because he was too fat and went home!The matter of my account is over!

Time flies!In the blink of an eye, I went to kindergarten. One day, I was playing football with some children in the garden. I accidentally smashed a window glass in the garden. I swear that I really didn’t kick the ball, but the principal didn’t ask if it was. Who did it, those four grandsons pointed at me at the same time, that's a tacit understanding!Silence is better than sound here!I'm sorry, so you grandchildren, cheat on me, right?I will never play with you again!I thought viciously in my heart... In the end, Lao Li came over and paid for the glass, and he gave me a good beating when he came home at night.

Back in 2000, it was okay, I just played with my dad, he loves fishing, and tried fishing rods in his yard, and I played water guns behind him, with high pressure, I just pointed at Lao Lihua’s pants I squeezed the trigger forcefully in the gap between the holes, but Lao Li shook his body, and then he swung the fishing rod back, and the hook hooked directly on my nose, which was a pain. As a result, it swelled up for half a month. Make it like Zhu Bajie!

The final exam of the first grade to the second grade, because I always write the pinyin backwards, a "p", I always write 9 characters, a "c", I always write the word on the left side.As a result, the class teacher insisted that I repeat a first grade.

In 2005, during recess, I liked to show off. I bought a bottle of Coke and played with it for a long time. After class, I wanted to drink a few secretly, but when I opened it, I sprayed it all. It also sprayed a big piece of my tablemate Xiaoyu's chest, which was wet!Little vests are printed.I quickly wiped it off with my hands, but she lost her eyes, and with a small beard, the wretched head teacher came over and said: "What kind of behavior are you doing, let go of that girl!"

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When I graduated from middle school in 2008, I finally got a girlfriend, but it turned out that I was too unlucky, with an ugly name, and that I would be better off with that wretched and short boy named Wang Xiaosaner in the class next door. This made me so angry that I didn’t go to school for a few days. This family stayed and got sulking, ended up drinking water, wet the pants, went to the balcony to get the pants, accidentally, the small stool flipped over, and I fell off the second arm, fortunately, nothing happened , the neck was crooked, and now I have a stiff neck!

It’s okay to go to my grandma’s house for a holiday after graduating from middle school, and to steal watermelons with some children in the village. That shameless old woman even let the dog bite us. I don’t know what’s going on. That dog just fell in love with me!Surpassed several other children, threw me to the ground, and bit me violently!Those bastards were not loyal enough, and they all ran away, but the old man drove over and took me to the hospital for rabies vaccination and dozens of stitches!As a result, when school started, the teacher said that I would be given half a year's leave, saying that it was because of fear of infection. I'm an idiot. I didn't even get into high school, so I just suspended classes at home for half a year.

I went to school in 2009. During recess, I was smoking in the toilet with a few grandchildren. The dean suddenly came to urinate. Nima’s grandsons quickly took chewing gum from their pockets and chewed hard. I am still an idiot Watching the head teacher smirk!

In the second year of high school, a girl named Xiaoli played with my feelings. I couldn't accept her three-footed boat, and went home to seek death. I exchanged 130 yuan for pesticides from the owner of the pesticide store, and ended up drinking A toenail, I vomited at that time, vomited for a whole night, and collapsed the next morning.

In the senior high school graduation exam, because I worked too hard the night before, I read novels until three o'clock, fell asleep during the exam, and was pulled out of the exam room. This reminded me of the past, and I found that my life was full of tragedies. !But this time I got smarter and changed to a pesticide store. After I bought it back, I unscrewed the cap and found that I had been hit by one and had another bottle!Tears welled up in my eyes, and I said in my heart that Nima has been there for more than ten years!More than ten years!I finally won a drink and have another bottle!At that time, I didn't care about committing suicide. I took the bottle cap and ran to the pesticide store. I asked the boss to change another bottle. Then I returned home with a smirk. I took back a bottle, and the old man gave me a set of Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms on the spot, almost knocking me back to my original form!

I didn’t go to university, so I went to learn crafts, and I helped my teacher pay for vegetables at noon. I was urgent to urinate, and there was no place to pull it. I went to the side of the flowers to solve it. Unexpectedly, the electric wires in the maintenance company next to me forgot to collect it. It happened to me. Peeing on the broken wire, damn, I provoked someone, so I wanted to pee, and almost killed myself!

The old man saw that I was tired from walking every day, so he bought me a second-hand scooter. One night I was whistling and riding the scooter to pick up my girlfriend, but a puppy ran out from the side of the road!Nima scared me so much that he overturned the car and broke his bones. His nose was broken and he bleeds, and he bleeds when he touches it a little bit!I just lay in the hospital for half a month, my girlfriend who had been talking for ten months came to see me, left me a sentence: "You are a good person" and left, hey, yes, who can accept it, drink it twice He tried to die by using pesticides, was pulled out of the college entrance examination, his nose was hooked by a fishhook, he almost got electrocuted when he pissed, and he was frightened by a dog to roll over and break his bone!

As a result, I didn't learn any crafts, so I came to work in the old man's factory. I ate in the cafeteria one day, and my sister-in-law sat across from me. I ate very fast!Accidentally ate a large amount of chili, and the hot blood immediately rose, and it was still in June and July, and I had a nosebleed at that time, soaring far away!The sister-in-law on the opposite side happened to see me staring at her, and she still had a nosebleed, but the old woman called three old women to call me a stinky bastard, a stinky hooligan, and I'm fucked, no matter how bad my eyesight is, it's impossible for me to like dinosaurs Nosebleed!

Soon, my name spread throughout Zhongshan Town.He even gave me a nickname: Little Plum!

It’s almost winter now, and because of the stinging wind, I didn’t ride that cute little scooter, but instead walked. I happened to be on my way home from get off work, and I saw what was happening in front of me!I also squeezed in curiously to have a look, but it turned out to be an old man sitting on the ground.But no one went to help him up!It must be because I was afraid of causing trouble, so I was about to withdraw from the crowd and go home, when the old man shouted: "Grandson, come and hold grandpa!"

I didn't know who I was calling at that time, but an old woman next to me said: Young man, your uncle is calling you!

I looked at it and said: Where is your uncle!I don't `````

Before I finished speaking, the old man said again: Just you, grandson, come and help me!

At this time, everyone's eyes fell on me, and some people even said: "Look at that kid, my uncle doesn't care, he's so fucking unfilial"

I thought to myself, your uncle, I don't know him at all!At this time, I looked around and realized that among this group of people, only I was the youngest, and I looked like a grandson!

But I was still going to go home. Just at this moment, an uncle next to me said: You are Li Siming's son, right? Your name is Li Jiacheng, right?

I turned around and said: How do you know my name?

The uncle said again: Brat, I am the father of your junior high school classmate Wang Xiaoya. I didn't expect you, kid, to become so heartless now that you don't even recognize your uncle!See if I don't talk to your classmates! !

At this time, the old man said again: Grandson, come and help me, grandpa raised you from a young age, you must be filial to grandpa!

I replied: Filial piety to your uncle!

Today is definitely the worst moment I've ever had.If I don't help the old man now, I won't be qualified to attend the class reunion in the future. If I help him up, this old guy is probably a good guy, and he will rely on me in the future.what should I do?Due to so many people watching, I could only come to the old man and help him up!And said softly: You old man, don't rely on me!

Before I finished speaking, the old man said: "It's not bad, it's not good, who told you to be fooled!" !

I went that way, I fell into a trough at the time, and almost let go and threw him back to the ground!