drunk snow

The moon is as bright as the day tonight.

In the deep silence of the night, the examiner was awake alone.

In the past, he would fall asleep first and then wake up suddenly, but this time he didn't close his eyes all night.

He couldn't sleep, and finally got up, put on his coat, and sat thinking at the low table he usually used for writing.

The sleeping baby rabbit was awakened by the candlelight, and hurriedly jumped towards its owner with chaotic steps, nestling by his lap to seek warmth.

He couldn't touch his own sword Fusangshen.

That's why he couldn't sleep peacefully for weeks.

Although he said a lot of high-sounding big words to the first issue, in fact, he is not sure whether he can find a way to overcome obstacles.

Because he was so afraid of that demon, he was in constant panic.

I was so afraid that I was in suspense all day long, and my judgment and reason were all bound by this invisible fear like a shackle.

Occasionally, really only occasionally.He would wake up crying in the middle of the night and never sleep again.

In the past, he would always count the patterns on the quilt or the horizontal lines on the tatami until dawn.

After coming to this hommaru, he began to try to express the fear in his heart through pen and paper.

After filling countless scrolls, it was quietly burned the next day.

It seems that doing so can relieve the distress in his heart a little bit.

──Although it is just an appearance.

So tonight he also plans to write his own story.

He took out the inkstone and prepared to grind ink.

He was born into a very wealthy family.

His father was originally a merchant, specializing in selling cloth and silk.When he was young, he worked hard and saved money desperately, and was able to open the silk workshop he had always dreamed of. Because of the clothes styles and special sewing methods he devoted himself to research and development, he was well received, making him a wealthy man in the end.

In his father's most glorious period, he and his elder brother were born together, which was the icing on the cake.

He was born with a golden spoon in his mouth, and grew up in a well-fed environment since he was a child.

However, things look perfect on the surface, but they are not.

He and his brother are twins.

Twins have always been regarded as an unlucky symbol since ancient times.Everyone's soul is unique and only one, but the souls of twins are split into two and placed in different bodies. Unless one dies and fuses, it cannot be called complete.

This is especially taboo for merchants and samurai, if they do not follow it, they may suffer disaster.

But maybe because his father started from scratch as a farmer, this legend didn't have a profound influence on him.

Therefore, despite everyone's dissuasion, he and his wife insisted on raising both children.

But even ignoring the ancient legends, there are still practical issues to consider.

The twins were born almost at the same time, so it is impossible to distinguish the order of elder and younger, but it is impossible for the two to inherit the position of Boss of Juanfang.

Elder brother was chosen as the heir, what if the younger brother could not accept it?

The younger brother was chosen as the successor, what if the elder brother refused to compromise because he was born a few minutes earlier?

It is obvious that the suitable successor can be selected based on whether he is worthy or not, but this couple chose the most troublesome method.

They were going to raise the brothers to be completely different people.

After discussion, the father decided to let the elder brother be the successor of Juanfang, while the younger brother was responsible for assisting.

As for how to make the two of them readily accept the fate they were assigned, it depends on the subtle influence of childhood.

The couple told their elder brother in earnest since they were young: You must work hard as the future heir.

Then he turned around and reminded his younger brother: You were born to assist, and you must obey your elder brother.

Of course, this is not partiality, because the life and everything of the younger brother is never worse than that of the elder brother.Even if his elder brother inherits the silk workshop, he will know that he should treat his younger brother kindly through the daily experience.

Compared with my elder brother who was required to learn business knowledge from his father since he was a child, he felt much more relaxed.

He only needs to practice calligraphy, learn abacus every day, and play music and dance with his mother more often.

The mother made up her mind to make him into a person who is indifferent to fame and wealth and carefree, so as to prevent her from competing with her elder brother for the right of inheritance in the future.

So he grew up according to his mother's expectations.

Play the lyre next to the plum tree in winter, sing poems and make music, or learn to sew clothes-although it is a girl's job.

He was free anyway.

Such a peaceful life is just right for him.

The elder brother who was born on the same day as him also loved him like a treasure as his parents expected.

The elder brother loves him with all his strength, always holding it in his hand for fear of falling, holding it in his mouth for fear of melting, and taking good care of him.

As we grow older, the friendship between relatives gradually evolves into another kind of affection.

Not only because of the deep-rooted concepts in his mind, but also because of his beautiful appearance, extraordinary temperament, and his status as twins who share souls equally and cherish each other.My brother always thought he was his destined half.

"you belong With Me."

He did not reject his brother's courtship.

It's always a pleasure to be with my brother, they are like-minded brothers.

Occasionally doing some unknown activities is quite exciting.

He once suspected that maybe deep in his heart, there was actually a special attachment to his brother.

At least, he also loves his brother's equally handsome face, there is no doubt about it.

My elder brother has always been a possessive person since he was a child. Others are not allowed to touch what belongs to him.

Taking it for granted, the younger brother who loved him so much was tightly held in the palm of his hand.

And the elder brother is extremely dedicated, his eyes have always been fixed on him since he was a child, he has never glanced at other girls, and he intends to marry him just like this, and will never be separated for the rest of his life.Even if this is not allowed by the world.

"All of you belong to me."

My brother often said this to him tirelessly, and when he finished speaking, he gave him a gentle kiss.

Repeated once or twice a day, these words are like a restraining spell, deeply imprinted in his heart together with that kiss.

He felt that there was nothing wrong with living, aging, sick and dying with his brother.

The two have developed so far, but he is still calm.

When his elder brother was on the verge of danger, he realized that things were not as simple as he imagined.

My brother loves him madly, almost to the point of morbidity.

He became more and more nervous, and he didn't even allow his younger brother to have any contact with other outsiders.Even an unintentional touch, a caress like the wind, will make my brother go hysterical.

"All of you belong to me!"

The elder brother would pull him away from others and hug him tightly, as if he wanted to rub him into his own body.

"Why do you want to touch someone else with my finger? Obviously you belong to me."

"I'm sorry, brother."

"You who are so beautiful belong to me alone, remember, you belong to me alone."

"Ah... I belong to you alone."

His whole being belonged to his brother.

What a cruel statement.

He has lost the autonomy of his body.

However, guilt did not allow him to escape from his brother's palm.

The restrictive curse wrapped around his heart no longer gave him any room to escape.

He made his brother into a devil.My brother is so poor.

This is probably his fault, right?

It's all because they didn't stop in time.

It's all because he never told his brother that I don't actually love you that much.

However, his brother is the meaning of his existence.

He was born to assist his brother.

In short, because of his indulgence, my brother's madness did not get better with the passage of time, but became more serious.

At this time, disasters followed one after another at home.

In order to become the most powerful tycoon in the area, the ambitious father planned to open a branch, but he misunderstood the slander, resulting in investment failure and loss of property. In the end, even the original silk workshop was handed over to others. Dilemma.

Just as the elder brother loves him so much that he loses his mind, the father is crazy about power and money.Going crazy seems to be a family vice, so sometimes, he will be thankful that he inherited his mother's just right balance.

To make matters worse, the father came to believe it was a curse brought on by the twins and blamed the brothers.

Everyone said that this must be the result of not combining the souls into one at the beginning!

Only he understands that money, power and beauty are the real reasons for people to go mad.

They are all hopeless people.

Whether it's the elder brother who is obsessed with him, the mother who insists on raising him as a hermit, or the father who is blinded by money, or even himself who thinks he is supercilious and has caused an irreparable situation.Everything is.

Only fire can put an end to these hilarious farces.

that's the truth.

The father, who had suffered a major setback, had already lost his mind. One day, on a whim, he set fire to the house in order to make the twins merge into one.

It's a pity that instead of merging his souls with his elder brother's, the husband and wife were buried in the fire pit together.

When the flames spread to the brother's east wing, the elder brother stood up to protect him in his arms so that he would not be burned.

He could feel that although his brother was crazy, it was still out of a heart that loved him.

But he still doesn't love his brother.

──On the contrary, more guilt overflowed in my heart.

The fire was finally extinguished by everyone's joint efforts, and the empty mansion that had been emptied of family property became dilapidated and even more embarrassing.

A burn from hitting the hot wall ran through his back, leaving swollen marks.

The elder brother who was engulfed in flames to protect him miraculously survived, but the handsome face he used to have no longer exists, and only his eyes are intact. Now he is a patient who depends on others to live.

His parents died, not to mention that his elder brother tried his best to protect him. Of course, he had to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the patients.

It's just that he has always been pampered, how can he have the ability to make money to support his family?

He considered that maybe with his looks, dancing skills and singing voice, he could be a well-known oiran.

"Don't forget that you belong to me. Just dance for me, play the piano for me, and sing for me."

But the elder brother wriggled his lips with difficulty and said so.

How could he disobey his brother who gave his life for him.Even if it's for laughing to feed the two of them.

In the end, he became a helper in charge of transporting. This occupation does not need to be touched by others, but only requires labor.

He has been in heaven for a long time, and now he is in hell.

Even in hell, he still remembers his elder brother's restrictive words that linger in his ears.

Even though his elder brother died of wound infection in the end, he still whispered the phrase "you belong to me" before he died.

He cannot break away from that bondage, cannot control the conditioned mind.

There is nothing to complain about in the current life, even if it is a bit bitter - his mother made him such a contented and happy person.

It's just too hateful.He should have thought so.

How he wished that he could hate this dominated life.

But he is so calm.

He doesn't like being idle all the time.

It's easy to think wildly when he's free, but he often thinks of the restraint he had with his dead brother.So he got hooked on cigarettes, pipes that temporarily took him out of controlled reality and made him happier, something he depended on so much.

He is lingering with the smog every day, living day by day without any purpose.

I don't even know why I am alive.

But he never thought of taking his own life, because this body belonged to his brother.

Until one day when he was used to hard life, a fox who could only speak human language appeared in front of him and asked him to become a "God Judge".

It just so happened that he was free, so he agreed.

As for the reason why the government chose him to be a god judge?

He thought, maybe because he has been to heaven once and walked through hell once, he has already seen the whole world, so his mind is clear, he is neither too attached nor cold-blooded, which makes him enough to be a bright light for Honmaru, no matter how old he is Even the wind can't blow him out.

He took one part of each sword and gave them a hint.

He was a bloody real example of conditioning, so he knew very well how effective conditioning can be for a conscious being.

If the lips are to live forever, they must live forever; on the other hand, immortality can keep the lips alive, which is a euphemistic hint that they are not allowed to die in battle.

He could have made the sword completely his own, but he knew that saying that was too cruel.

He is neither a tyrant nor a saint.That's exactly what the government needs -- that's all.

It's just that he is about to be extinguished by the gust of wind in his heart now.

For him, swords are life forms with wisdom and consciousness. Measured by his brother's standards, animals and life forms are not included in the scope of "other people", and he feels at ease.

However, as he got along with each other day by day, he gradually couldn't treat them as ordinary living beings.After coming to Honmaru, he became more and more prone to nightmares. At first he thought he had a fear of knives, but later found out that was not the case.

Swords are like people, and every frown and smile is full of vitality.It is not just a body with a soul, but a living "person".

When he realized this, he could no longer ignore the fear that slowly crept up from the bottom of his heart.

That is the so-called inner demon.

Ahh, he is breaking the agreement with his brother.

It was clearly agreed that it only belonged to my brother.

He has already lost his brother's body, if the brother in his heart also disappears, what will happen to him?

Could it be that even he himself will disappear...

The judge stopped writing and looked up at the paper door. The color that did not reveal light indicated that the sky was still a little dark.

Whenever he recalled the past, he couldn't help sobbing slightly.

After stuffing the fodder into the fire vessel and lighting the flame, the smoke rose again. This was the fifth time he smoked after going to bed.While smoking his pipe, he folded all the papers he had written and put them in the cabinet next to the table.

He often felt empty, especially after nightly nightmares.

He sometimes doubts whether he is alive at all.

Only when you press your palms firmly against your chest and feel your heart beating, will you really breathe a sigh of relief.

He used to think that he was not attached to this world at all, but he also had no interest in suicide.

But now he cares so much about this life.

Now the sword has become the demon that frightens him the most.

He didn't know what to do with these souls that had sworn to him.

Guilt made him seem to fall into a whirlpool.

──It’s really asking for trouble.

It would have been nice if I hadn't come to Honmaru in the first place.

He was not enough to be a bright lamp as the candlelight was fading little by little.

Even so, when the sky turned white and the dawn broke, he still smiled lightly in front of everyone.

The author has something to say:

It's really explosive.I think it's probably because I have so many useless descriptions_(:3」∠)_