【ER】Golden Rule

Ever since Grantaire officially started working at the County Prosecutor's Office, he has come to this street at least once a week.Usually it was the day he was going to court, the day he didn't drive to work, but took the bus or taxi so that if he got drunk he didn't have to worry about how he was going to get his car home.There are bars with different faces here, but the one on the street is his favorite.It's loud, crowded, noisy, and the bartender's schedule is unexpectedly chaotic, so even if he comes every week, no one remembers who he is, he can safely find a corner to get drunk, and he can slip into it at any time. Dancing cheek to cheek with a group of faceless strangers on the dance floor.

But at this moment, the noise is a problem, as is the bustling crowd.Enjolras was holding his hand at the door, looking a little too handsome under the streetlight.People coming and going gave them sideways glances from time to time, and that kind of look made Grantaire uncomfortable.Besides, he didn't know what Enjolras wanted to say, but judging from his expression, it must be something very important.But at this moment, there was so much noise around him that he was afraid he wouldn't even be able to hear what Enjolras was saying.

"What do you want to say?" He asked, pursing his dry mouth.

"Do you remember the day you asked me to tell you something you didn't know?" Enjolras said.

"Of course." Grantaire said, he still remembered that in the study that day, the distance between his and Enjolras' mouths was at most an eyelash.He fled in a panic after that, and Enjolras never mentioned the unfinished kiss again.He thought it was because it made Enjolras feel ashamed, or—because it didn't matter to Enjolras at all. "What happened that day?"

Enjolras looked at him.His fingers tightened around Grantaire's hands.

"What I wanted to tell you that day wasn't actually that I took boxing lessons," he said.

Grantaire froze.

"What?" he muttered.Realizing that his hand was still in Enjolras' grip, and even tighter, his drowsy brain thought it might not be true.On the other hand, the night was getting deeper and deeper, and the street in front of the bar was getting more and more crowded.He became more uncomfortable.

Enjolras seemed to notice his discomfort.

"Let's talk somewhere else," he said.He takes his hand away from his chin and turns away, but still holding one of Grantaire's hands, as if it's the most natural thing in the world—however, Grantaire soon discovers his His hands were shaking slightly.He's nervous, Grantaire thinks, Enjolras is nervous?

They walked for almost 10 minutes before finding a taxi, and after they got into the back seat, Enjolras still held his hand firmly.This is so weird, Grantaire thought, if only his drunken mind could still tell what was real from what wasn't, the real Enjolras probably wouldn't have grabbed his hand like that .He felt his hands start to sweat, and on the one hand he wished Enjolras would shake off his hand to let him breathe because he felt sick, but on the other hand he hoped that Enjolras would never let go of it.

Enjolras did not.

"When you said let me tell you something you don't know," Enjolras told the driver the address of Grantaire's house and leaned back on the backrest, "the first thing I thought of was not boxing .but..." He paused, "but I met you seven years ago."

This made Grantaire straighten up from the backrest.He turned to look at Enjolras.

"What?" he said. "Am I confused, or are you drunk too? Our first meeting was more than a year ago, and I remember it better than you probably. After all, it was my first meeting." The first time I've been treated with such unabashed disdain..." And the first time I've fallen in love so quickly, he thought.He remembered the day when heartbreak and love came together.

"That wasn't the first time I saw you." Enjolras said, rarely refusing, "You don't know, it's normal, because it's something you can't know anyway. At that time, I I was an undergraduate student. That summer, I did a voluntary internship in the district court." He paused, "My parents met in law school and they ran a law firm together. They hoped that I could also study law after graduation. "

"Hey." Grantaire smiled softly, yes, a successful middle-class family, elite European immigrants.He could see the shadow of a strict and respected family from Enjolras at a glance, "the elite path planned from kindergarten, it must be so."

"Don't rush to be sarcastic," Enjolras said. "I was not sure what I wanted to do. I wanted the world to be a better place, but I didn't know how. Is it hard to imagine? I also experienced periods of confusion .The works of sociology, legal theory, and political thought that I have read have been circling in my mind for a long time, but from which angle can I really promote progress and change the most? Dealing with brokers and exchanges like my parents did is obviously not possible , but sitting in court may not be effective. I saw too many disgusting faces that summer. I know how some judges screen cases for evaluation, how ignorant some lawyers are of true morality, and how some parties can Concealing and making things up. Maybe you don't believe me, and you think I have faith out of naivety, but it's not true—I've seen them before."

"That's not what I expected," Grantaire said dryly.

"I suppose so," said Enjolras, without looking annoyed. "Just when I began to think that the law is not a good policy, I sat in on a case." He rested his head on the backrest, leaned his elegant neck back, closed his eyes, and seemed to be remembering. "One summer afternoon, the courtroom was unnaturally hot, and the judge and clerk were drowsy. An elderly woman with flaxen hair, a stooped back, and bewildered eyes sat in the dock. Her defense attorney looked absent-minded, Drowsy all day long. Before the trial began, the prosecutor and the defender were whispering in front of the railing. The prosecutor was wearing a black suit, and the defender was wearing a gray striped suit. The black suit said to the gray suit, as long as you admit that the custody was improper, we will change the charges. Enjolras' eyes opened, and he turned his head to look at Grantaire with blue eyes. "He said, let my assistant talk to her."

"... Enjolras," Grantaire said.His breathing quickened, and he knew what Enjolras was talking about.How can this be?It pained him so much to hear the story now.He gasped in vain for Enjolras to stop.

Enjolras did not. "I remember his assistant, dark curly hair, very young, even looked like a college student. He was wearing an ill-fitting suit and no tie, and he was very angry." His blue eyes were still on Grantaire, The blue seemed to have deepened because of the sudden love.He tightened his grip on Grantaire's hand, "and he yelled, 'This is vile! I'm not doing it!'"

Grantaire shook his head.Enjolras' eyes made him invisible.Stop looking at me like that, he thought, stop looking at me through me.Whatever you're looking for, he's not here anymore.

Enjolras was still talking.He moved closer to Grantaire, "The prosecutor's expression changed. He dragged his assistant out of the courtroom. I walked to the exit of the public gallery and leaned against the door to listen to them. The prosecutor Asked his assistant what's the problem, the young man said, I don't like this, it's completely immoral and unjust. This made the middle-aged man laugh out loud, and he asked like a joke, do you think our work is for What? The young man said, for justice, for social progress. This sentence made his leader laugh even harder, and he said, you have read too much in law school, and your head is rusted. He said, you We need to learn more in practice. He said: Maybe we are a symbol of justice and sanctions, but not in every case, because every case is not worth mentioning. There are dozens of such cases in a day. Social progress They don't even count as dust on the wheels, and your name doesn't even appear in any of the judgments written in law school textbooks. So work is work, and you better do your job." Enjolras Stopped, the street lights flickered alternately outside the car window, constantly falling into his eyes.

"Enjolras," Grantaire said.

"That's when the young assistant said something I will never forget," said Enjolras.

"Stop it," Grantaire said weakly.

"He said," said Enjolras in a voice that was almost tender, "you are right that our work is but an insignificant glimpse in the progress of justice and society, and my name is not even will appear in the judgment. But the fate of progress is written by accident, just as Roy [1] did not know what waves her prosecution would cause, and people did not expect a school [2] in the first place. What color brings. I want to stand in the case that fate has favored, and the way to do that is to treat each case as that case. Only then can I be sure that I am standing in progress."

Enjolras stopped.His eyes looked bluer in the dark - how could that be?Grantaire was taken aback by that look.He was almost ashamed of himself for saying those things.

"Do you know which case I'm talking about?" said Enjolras gently.

Grantaire lowered his eyes.

"County v. Smith," he said softly.

That makes it clear, he thought.Enjolras had seen him before, seven years ago.He used to think that Grantaire was so fearless and ideal that he would impress people like Enjolras.No wonder Enjolras was so furious when they reunited a year ago.You saw me collapse, right?Grantaire thought, You saw that pathetic young man turned into a drifting drunk.No wonder you scolded me like that.It's not your fault, but it's not my fault either.I think you must have had a hard time then.

"Then you told your boss to go away," Enjolras said, "and you left in a huff. I always wanted to see you again, and I even looked up your name in the court records. But until My summer volunteer work is over, and I never met you again."

"I'm pretty sure I told my boss to 'fuck my ass,'" Grantaire said with a wry smile. "Naturally. Because I was an intern at the time, they told me to pack up and leave."

Enjolras didn't frown at his words. "Anyway, after that, my period of confusion melted away," he continued. "I went to law school and graduated. My parents were vehemently against me going to legal aid, but I wasn't going to listen to them. I think I should try my best to stand in that 'case favored by fate', so that if one day I run into that assistant prosecutor in court one day, I can..."

Grantaire broke away from Enjolras' grip.

"Stop it," he snapped. "Stop talking, please." The taxi stopped right in front of his house, Enjolras took out his wallet from his pocket, and Grantaire got out of the car before him. "The next thing you're going to tell me is how disappointed you are at the reunion, won't you? You must wish you never saw me again. That's enough, Enjolras, I'm sorry I've let you down.  … Please Say no more."

Enjolras followed him out of the car.He doesn't look annoyed that Grantaire shook his hand away.

"I was really shocked, puzzled, disappointed, angry at first," he said, "but..."

Grantaire smiled.The laughter sounded hysterical even to himself.

"Okay," he said, "since you told me this, I'll tell you a story too. Didn't you ask me why I went to law school?" The street shrugged, and the night wind was a bit cool, but he didn't intend to go into the house at the moment. "My father," he said, trying his best to make the matter as light as possible so as not to attract sympathy, "wasn't some elite lawyer, he was a gas station worker. He used to beat me up when I was a kid." Mom, beat me up sometimes. I was in elementary school thinking how I could grow taller so I could beat him, or at least keep him from touching my mom. I hated having to listen to her shit from downstairs every night Crying. When I was nine years old, a group of legal aid people came to my house, and two policemen, and took him away. There was an old man in the group, with gray hair, and an old denim jacket, The zippers were all worn off. He said something to my mom like they were going to send my daddy for abuse. It seemed to fall through, but the old guy did it again. He said to my mom, He could at least help her with the tort case. He did win the case for us, and my mom got a lot of money, and my dad was divorced, and we got a writ of habeas corpus, and I didn't have to go home every day. I was terrified. That old guy was the coolest person in the world in my mind at the time." He paused, realizing that Enjolras was looking at her with more concern than he had given Eponine in court. Own.The sight made his Adam's apple slip. "... Then I went to college, thank God. In the first two years, I took a lot of classes at the Academy of Fine Arts and spent every day in the studio. One year we went to do extracurricular volunteer work for a child welfare organization, you know, teaching them to draw Drawing or something. Some of the kids didn't look like the others, and I later learned that a lot of them had been abused to varying degrees... much worse than the little fights I had as a kid. Back then I thought about that old man, and it made my brain boil, and I thought: Ah, can't I do the same thing as him?" Grantaire let out a wry smile from his throat, and shook his head, "At that time I Why didn't I think of it? Didn't he also fail to convict my father of abuse, and maybe even fail to pass the threshold of sending the case to the prosecutor's office? Why do I think I will do better? What's more, I saw Gavroche's arm the other day, such a strange bruise, so familiar, I should have recognized it, but I didn't even realize it..." His voice trembled slightly.

Enjolras took a step forward and squeezed his wrist tightly.

"Having experienced pain doesn't necessarily mean you recognize pain," he said.

"You don't understand," Grantaire said, "you don't understand what was going through my mind when I heard Éponine say that Gavroche was abused. How did that kid grow up? He had a squat Prison mom, thanks to me. If his biological father was one of those who forced Azma to cross the border with drugs, he's already executed, thanks to me. You heard the kid's accent Where does he usually stay, in the homeless man's cave? Now I want to send a man who protects him to prison..."

"These things are not your fault," said Enjolras.

"Maybe," Grantaire said. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Listen to me," said Enjolras.He stroked the hand on Grantaire's wrist up to grab his shoulder. "I was so angry when I saw you again. I didn't even want to look at you again. When you drunkenly opposed me in court, I felt ridiculous for taking your words as a motto. Because I once..."

"Please, don't say you fell in love with me at first sight seven years ago," Grantaire said dryly.

"I never thought of it that way before, but I think it's a good way to say it," Enjolras said naturally.The words made Grantaire's throat sore.But I'm not the same as I was seven years ago, right? "I was angry at the time. But during this time, my opinion has changed... I heard you talk about Azma, I heard you talk about Eponine. I went to get drunk because of Seth. I saw how you got along with that kid named Gavroche... I don't think you have changed so much. Or, some new things have been added to my judgment of you... "

Grantaire looked at him.Enjolras shouldn't have said that, he thought.He shouldn't have praised him so much and given him hope.What if he thought Enjolras was in love with him?

"Stop it, Enjolras," he said, hoping to scare Enjolras into silence, "you have no idea what I think of you. If I thought you were eyeing me, I would Get carried away. You know my jeans get tight just looking at your face? You live in my house now, you should be careful. You don't want to know that I see you sitting at the kitchen table every morning with your hair uncombed I want to do something to you later."

Enjolras did not let go of the hand on his shoulder.That look made Grantaire feel his soul flinch.He even felt a smile on Enjolras' face.

"Why not try it?" said his blond god.

The kiss happened immediately.

He wasn't sure if he leaned towards Enjolras or if Enjolras leaned towards him.They were so close that anything could happen.Enjolras's full, beautiful lower lip pressed against his, it's so strange, Grantaire thought, that some people look like ice and have lips that burn like fire.This kind of calm lasted only two or three seconds, and he felt Enjolras open his mouth tentatively, so he opened his lips and teeth too - just for a moment, everything changed.Something was lit in the night.Enjolras' hand holding his shoulder moved up to his neck, eagerly supported his chin, and pressed and stroked his jaw with painful force with his thumb.Grantaire raised his hand, hesitated for only two seconds, then inserted his fingers into Enjolras' blond hair, grabbed them, and pulled Enjolras' head towards him even harder.They gasped, lips touched and teeth clashed.He's kissing Enjolras - just knowing that fact is enough to make Grantaire dizzy.The sound of cars speeding past occasionally on the street beside them, and Grantaire tried not to scream at how hard he was sucking his tongue.

"Go inside," he gasped.

They didn't bother to part their mouths, and stumbled to the door.Grantaire had lost the ability to find the doorknob, so Enjolras pushed him against the door panel and opened the door with his spare key while kissing him.They slammed through doors and against walls, and just kissing made one feel so dizzy for the first time.Enjolras' hand slipped from his chin, pressing down on his lower back, pulling him towards her.Grantaire felt the hands stop before they could go any further down on his hips.

"Can you?" Enjolras asked.

Grantaire raised his eyes, and Enjolras looked as eager as he was, but still trying to maintain decorum.The look made him chuckle softly.

"Stop talking nonsense," he said with a smile, throwing his arms around Enjolras' neck and pulling him towards him, "you have my consent[3]."

Enjolras looks like he's trying to distract himself by protesting that this isn't a good subject for a joke, but Grantaire shuts him up with another kiss.They hugged each other and walked upstairs, which would have been much faster if Grantaire hadn't pushed Enjolras to sit on the steps, then straddled his lap and continued to kiss him.The journey would have been much faster if Enjolras hadn't held Grantaire against the wooden banister and sucked his neck at the corner of the stairs.There was a corner of Grantaire's mind that was shouting about his concerns, like his case, whether it would be wise to sleep with his theoretical rival after some serious self-analysis, whether Enjolras really looked like Grantaire thought he wanted him.But these thoughts are far away at the moment, far less loud than gasps as they tear off their ties, take off their shirts, and let their trousers slide down to their ankles.His frustration and self-doubt are still there, but they've folded away, tucked away in a tiny corner, lost between their fingers, their mouths, their hair, and as they crash into Grantaire's bedroom Enjolras was complaining softly about the messy room.

They're stuck in the sheets, Enjolras's hand caressing a tiny scar on his shoulder blade, it's his own story, Grantaire thought, if one day Enjolras asked him, he'd have time to tell him.They knocked a pillow off the bed, onto two stacked empty beer cans, and rolled to one side.Grantaire looked up at the glowing stars stuck to his ceiling, glowing faintly in the night.He turned his gaze a little, and Enjolras' blond hair hanging by his ear outshone the fake stars, and far outshone the real ones.The picture was mouth-drying, and he raised a hand, ran it up Enjolras's strong, graceful forearm, and placed it on the side of his cheek that hung above him, facing his blue eyes. Laughed lightly.

"You look like you're driving a sun chariot even like this," he gasped.

Enjolras bit his thumb angrily because of this sentence.

"At least don't say something inexplicable at a time like this," he said, leaning forward and pushing Grantaire up against the sheet, his lips next to his ear. "No nicknames. Call me by my name."

"Enjolras," Grantaire whispered in a sigh.He hugged him again, and pressed his fingers against his skin with a little force, almost leaving red marks on the white.

I broke the marble, he thought vaguely, and I touched the flesh and blood in it.

TBC

[1] Roev. Wade, the case ruled that excessive restrictions on women's abortion rights constituted unconstitutional.

[2] Brownv.BoardofEducationofTopeka, the case ruled that the principle of black and white segregationbutequal in public primary and secondary schools no longer applies.

[3] Here Grantaire is joking with the criteria for judging voluntary ///// behavior.