I never thought about experiencing the next year

After Gu Zhixian and his mother finished talking on the phone, they put the phone on the bedside table again. This time, they were so tired that they didn't have the strength to move the phone away to avoid some phone radiation, so they just retracted their hands and reached in. Under the quilt, he turned over and fell asleep on his side.Before I fell asleep I was thinking: What if 'this' happened to me when I was 20? 22 years old?Will I still look like a 'disabled person' now?

Guo Jinghan was obviously in a particularly good mood this morning. He went all the way up to the 25th floor of their group A with a very "coquettish" look.His appearance is also very controversial, and it was seen that Secretary Gu did not follow him. For a while, everyone in the big office of Group A was guessing. In short, seeing the coquettish face of the boss, it must have happened yesterday What a good thing, but I just don't know if that good thing happened with Secretary Gu, or someone else.Some people said that it must be with Secretary Gu, because they left early yesterday afternoon, but some people said that they might have quarreled with someone else, and Secretary Gu did not come today.

At ten o'clock, Guo Jinghan went into the big office with a breezy face and asked the director for a storyboard of a new short play to be filmed. If the person Secretary Gu was talking about, he wanted to make a phone call to Secretary Gu, so that others could see him talking with Secretary Gu, so as to clear up some false rumors, but thinking that Secretary Gu might have fallen asleep again right now. , it is not easy to make a phone call.He could only cough, with a serious expression on his face, and said, "Don't talk nonsense, Secretary Gu is not feeling well today, so he didn't come." They started to discuss why Secretary Gu was not feeling well today. It must be that Producer Guo did something heinous to him.It’s just that I don’t quite understand one thing. Producer Guo and Secretary Gu are together every day. Producer Guo must have done some heinous things to Secretary Gu. That’s why Secretary Gu is not feeling well today.

The people in this office discussed this until almost noon, but they still couldn't come to any conclusion, so they had to give up in the end.It's just that while they were discussing, they also finished all the work to be done in the morning, and they didn't know how they managed to gossip and work without delay.Perhaps this lies in the difference between men and women. In their large office on the 25th floor, the entire office is full of men. Men’s gossip belongs to gossip, and the work is still done; Forget it, there will be some things that will be delayed to work.In fact, not every man in that office accepts being gay. Some do, and they have friends like that. Some don’t accept it at first, but after entering Kaga, they work under the boss. Seeing that the boss is a comrade, they can only accept it. There is no other way. No one can make trouble with the boss. As long as the boss does not get them, they can turn a blind eye.Moreover, those men who do not accept the matter of being gay are more willing to believe that Secretary Gu was coerced, and they all feel that Secretary Gu really needs to be sympathized with. After developing his body, he will have to suffer for "this sin" for a lifetime. It should be for a lifetime. It can be seen that their producer really likes him.Although, for their straight men, it is really hard to imagine the feeling of liking.They admit that Secretary Gu is good-looking, but for them, they would rather have a woman who is ten times uglier than Secretary Gu, at least they all think so in their hearts.

At eleven o'clock, Guo Jinghan left the company and drove to "Congee Kee" to buy a porridge. After buying, he suddenly realized that he didn't have lunch, so he bought a meal in the restaurant next to Congee Kee. Two small fry to go.

It was around 10:[-] when he got home, he put the porridge and rice on the dining table, then went into the room to find Secretary Gu, and found that he was still asleep, so he sat on the edge of the bed lightly, hesitating whether to take it or not. wake him up.He hesitated for [-] minutes without shaking him awake.At this moment, he took a closer look at Secretary Gu's face, and found that there was some water-like substance accumulated in the corner of his eyes when he was lying on his back, which looked like it was about to fall, just like the stains in the small depressions on the ground after the rain. The water, such a small area, is stabilized by the depression, so that it cannot overflow to other places.

Guo Jinghan separated it for a long time, thinking that it was tears, and what he said in his heart was: I am X, do it with me, how can I be so sentimental?

When Guo Jinghan thought about it, he felt so aggrieved. He had been coquettish all morning, but now suddenly the coquettish energy disappeared, and instead, he was a little worried, which was hanging on his face. He thought about Secretary Gu's It's not that I dislike him, that's why I did it just once—to be exact, there were several times in that one time, and it's just so sad in my heart.

So he also held back there, unable to figure it out for a while, the worry of being disgusted occupied most of his mind, making him even forget that what happened yesterday afternoon was all because Secretary Gu was jealous and took the initiative to seduce he.Now when he thinks about it, he feels uncomfortable, so he simply turned and sat forward, instead of sitting in the direction facing the two puddles of water in the corners of Secretary Gu's eyes, so he moved his buttocks in the changed direction for a moment.

The mattress was bounced, and Gu Zhixian woke up because of it.Seeing Guo Jinghan as soon as he woke up, he was of course very happy, but when he saw that his expression was not quite right, he kicked him with his knee through the quilt.He realized he was awake and turned his head suddenly.Gu Zhixian asked him: "What's wrong with you? You didn't eat lunch, so you're so hungry? The word 'sorrow' is all over your face." He didn't want to ask Gu Zhixian why he was crying while sleeping soundly, But after holding back for a while, he didn't hold back, so he asked, "You said, you slept well, why are you crying?"

In fact, Gu Zhixian still remembered his dream when he just woke up.Most of the dreams you have during the day can be remembered, and some dreams you have at night will not be remembered when you wake up.According to Gu Zhixian's past experience, most of the dreams at night are reversed, that is, if you dream about bad things, good things will happen later; if you dream about good things, bad things will happen later.But the dreams he has during the day are often accurate. If he is sad in the dream, he will be sad in reality later; if he is happy in the dream, he will be happy in reality later on.

When he woke up, he was still thinking about what happened in his dream just now, but after waking up, he saw that Guo Jinghan was not very happy, so he forgot to be grateful for a while, but he asked him again.He narrowed his eyes and gave Guo Jinghan a sideways look, but he wanted to ask this person first: "I am sad about me, why are you unhappy?" When Guo Jinghan heard this, he became even angrier and asked, "Tell me, do you despise me?" Just did it to me once, so sad!" When Gu Zhixian heard it, he didn't expect it to be for such a reason, he didn't expect this person to think so, so he could only say: "What do I dislike? How can I dislike you?" Guo Jinghan Ask: "Then why are you crying?" Gu Zhixian said: "I'm in pain." Guo Jinghan leaned on him: "Be serious!"

At this moment, Gu Zhixian was like a pickled fish being pickled at the bottom of the tank, and a flat bluestone was pressed on his body, and both the fish and the stone moved.After a long time, Gu Zhixian said: "Where is it none of your business? Don't think about it in the future, I have never disliked you. Although I used to think in my heart that 'the person who will fall in love with you has killed someone in the previous life; he will be loved by you. People in the world have all committed adultery^felony of wives and daughters in their previous lives, but now that I think about it, either my thoughts in the past were wrong, or I committed both crimes in my previous life.” At that time, "the blue stone on the fish" rolled down. Guo Jinghan had listened very carefully, with his ears pricked up. Consciously moved twice, after reacting, he fell off Secretary Gu, propped himself up, and asked, "So you love me?"

Gu Zhixian shrugged and said: "It should be." Guo Jinghan was not sure, and squinted at him: "You are lying, how could it be so fast. How could you fall in love with me so quickly." Gu Zhixian felt strange when he heard that : "Didn't you also follow me soon?" Guo Jinghan thought about it, and said: "Yes." He paused, and then asked: "But, do you know what love is?" Stopped, he replied: "I don't know, do you know?" Guo Jinghan actually doesn't know what love is, he just knows that he always wants to be with Secretary Gu, and he never lived with others since he was an adult. , but he can't just say to Secretary Gu, "Love is the feeling of always wanting to be with you." Such a slightly superficial view will make him look like an immature man, like a fool, so he doesn't want to be in Gu Acting like an immature man in front of the secretary, acting like a fool.So he just lowered his head and said, "I don't know either." Thinking about it, he might as well just say he doesn't know, and look a little cooler.

So, both of them fell silent.It looked so stupid.Just like a pair of two troubled brothers who always take the bottom one and the second in the class, this one said "Can you know this question?" The other said "I can't, can you?" Said "Oh, I can't either." Then they all lowered their heads, as if they couldn't say a word.

It's just that now it's replaced by two adult men discussing "love".When it comes to that word, I don't even know what it means.They clearly feel that they are in love right now, but they are clumsy in speech, unable to say even a single bit of vocabulary to describe that word, or even half of the sentences to compare it to that word.

Sigh, I can’t tell why, let’s just forget about it, anyway, I’m in love, so who would bother to think about describing and describing, they’re not Kaga’s writers, so what’s the use of being able to describe?

So the heavy bluestone was pressed on the salted fish again, wanting to feel the temperature of his body and the sound of his heartbeat through the quilt.Secretary Gu thought he was too heavy, so he said to him: "I'm hungry, where's lunch?" Producer Guo immediately jumped up, forgetting about lunch, and said: "It's outside, I'll bring it to you." Thinking of lunch, he suddenly remembered that Secretary Gu still had "water accumulation" in the corners of his eyes when he slept, so he turned his head and asked him: "Secretary Gu, didn't you say what you dreamed about when you fell asleep just now? During the day If you have a bad dream, it may come true, you tell me, and I will hear if it is serious."

Gu Zhixian remembered that dream again, maybe it wasn't a big deal, maybe it was just an emotion he had accumulated over the years, which made him more sad than ordinary people.He was hungry, so he only said briefly: "Oh, that is, I dreamed that because I couldn't have a child, after my brother got married and had a child, he would give me the second child to raise. But my father didn't allow it. Said... Said that some family environments have a bad influence on children, so my brother's children cannot be sent to me. Then I thought about it in my dream, don't do to others what you don't want, young and young, and the relationship between people Young..." Hearing this, Guo Jinghan suddenly laughed, and said to him: "Be serious, I don't believe that you still have such a routine in your dreams." Gu Zhixian continued: "I just thought, my family Children will be worried that they will be affected by me, so don’t those children in Tzu Chi halls and relief stations have to worry? So I didn’t adopt children after thinking about it, because I was afraid that it would really have a bad influence on them. After thinking about it, it’s quite sentimental. Obviously, I like children very much. Then, the dream was interrupted. I had a shallow feeling during the day, and I might be woken up by your movement." Guo Jinghan said, "That's why there's no need to cry. You If you like it, we can adopt it, or you can 'give birth' yourself."

Gu Zhixian got excited when he heard it, sat up, and put his arm on his shoulder: "Why 'birth'?" Guo Jinghan gave him a sideways look, and shook his arm: "Don't be too excited, I don't like children. You But let me live a peaceful life for another two or three years." After speaking, she got up and went out to get porridge and rice into the room.Gu Zhixian thought for a while, then got up slowly, and said: "Don't bring it in, I'll go out to eat, there will be a smell in the room." Guo Jinghan asked: "Can you?" Gu Zhixian had already sat on the edge of the bed , stood up slowly, and said: "It should be fine. I just want to go to the bathroom." Guo Jinghan asked: "Do you want me to help you?" Gu Zhixian said: "Forget it, you go and arrange the food. So squeamish."

So, Guo Jinghan went to the dining table and laid out the food, chopsticks, and spoons.And Gu Zhixian walked slowly to the bathroom in Guo Jinghan's room, and got used to it a bit, but it was actually okay, and there was no unbearable discomfort.He wanted to ask Guo Jinghan about it. Usually, after a few times, this kind of situation won't happen anymore, but fortunately he didn't ask, because Guo Jinghan seemed to be very sensitive to his own past, so don't ask about it when the time comes. It stimulated him again, and I felt that I must think that he has a lot of sexual experience, so I always ask him about this kind of thing.Gu Zhixian thought, forget it, let's experience these things slowly in the future, so don't ask him, because if you ask him, he will feel unhappy because he cares, and then everyone will become speechless.

Gu Zhixian just didn't understand, this person obviously said he was a scum before, and he was indeed a scum, but now that he "becomes good", he can't say anything about the past, he is very suspicious, and he always thinks I dislike him.This is also very funny, isn't he used to be the one above?It's not about doing the following, so what if people say a few words about past experience, and even if they are denounced as scum, it shouldn't matter, but he just cares so much and doesn't allow others Talk about how he lived with others in the past.Also a weirdo.