On the Formation of a Pseudo Stand-In

Mu Chengan raised his hand, his fingers hesitated in the air for a long time, and then slowly stretched out to the fingertips that were extremely white even though they were stuck on the white bed sheet.

But it stopped at less than three centimeters.

His chest rose and fell violently several times, and Mu Chengan seemed to come back to his senses, and suddenly grabbed the opponent's fingers.

Clenched very tightly, very tightly, as if trying to draw some long-lost strength from the opponent's tight skin.

His fingertips were cold, and they were no longer as warm as they used to be, but this temperature made Mu Chengan feel like he was being burned.

It burned his eye sockets, and the dead part of his body came alive.

After hastily lowering his head, he gritted his teeth and pressed something back to his eyes. Then he remembered something, as if he was afraid of hurting the other party, he loosened his strength a little.

But the two are still intertwined.

Mu Chengan didn't speak. At this moment, he seemed to have lost his ability to speak.

It wasn't until then that he realized how much he longed to touch that person's temperature, so longing that he was going crazy.

He no longer sat upright on the chair, but chose to bend down halfway, his body was still stiff, but the time was no longer long and difficult.

"I..." Mu Chengan finally made a sound until the night was getting dark and the little light in the room was buried in darkness.

Trembling, trembling, he said softly, "I'm so greedy."

Wrapping fingers in different ways, and gently rubbing his thumb against the opponent's skin, Mu Chengan raised the corners of his mouth, but the smile didn't reach his eyes: "I miss you waking up, I can't think so. I still want you to wake up , is still with me."

"Like we... once promised."

Taking a deep breath, Mu Chengan lowered his head, resting his forehead on the man's finger, sliding it lightly, but his voice became smaller and smaller: "If it doesn't work..."

Then, he opened and closed his mouth, his lips moved, but he didn't make a sound.

He thought: If such greed is not enough, then as long as you wake up, okay?

On that day, Mu Chengan was still hunched over, lying on the edge of the bed and fell asleep, his fingers still tightly intertwined with the person on the bed.

Because of those words, he finally stepped over the cell where he was imprisoned, and summoned up the courage to hold his lover's hand, whispering softly, calling out one after another.

Probably because the pressure on himself has eased, he finally stopped insomnia all night and his eyes were red.

Occasionally, when he was extremely sleepy, he would gently kiss him and say good night, and only after confirming that he clasped his fingers together, did he fall into a deep sleep, and his dreams were no longer just dark despair.

The exhaustion of the past few days has made Mu Chengan, who has been sleeping a lot better recently, and can always sleep until dawn.

until this day.

While Mu Chengan was in a daze, he was awakened by an extremely, extremely slight movement.

Nerves were instantly alarmed, and the sense of touch was infinitely magnified by this subtle change. Mu Chengan heard his own deafening heartbeat. In this still dark night, he didn't dare to open his eyes for a while.

The movement of the fingers is just a moment.

However, Mu Chengan seemed to have crossed the vast desert, and when he saw the spring water in the oasis, he almost died of drunkenness.

But he was afraid, Mu Chengan's fingers were stiff, he wanted to tremble but didn't dare to tremble, he was afraid that this was just his own illusion, that all this was just a mirage.

All the nerves were concentrated in that hand, Mu Chengan didn't dare to breathe out, even when he gritted his teeth and opened his eyes, his vision instantly blurred.

He closed his eyes hard, then opened them again.

Mu Chengan's whole body was shaking, his body was shaking, and his arms were also shaking, except for the hand whose fingers were intertwined, which was stiff and did not dare to move.

After the vision became hazy and clear, clear and hazy, and repeated several times, the hand that gathered all the nerves did not touch the trembling movement again.

The heart that was still jumping to the throat just now, is falling silently at this moment, about to be abandoned in the boundless wilderness along with those expectations that have been teased repeatedly.

But before he bit his lip and let out a whimper, the intertwined fingertips keenly caught the little movement that he had been expecting for a long time.

The bad guy on the bed who was still sleeping, leaving himself alone in this discolored world, was like a weak kitten when he flicked his fingers lightly.

He was so weak that he was about to be forgotten by the world, but Mu Chengan received it.

The senses, which have been magnified tens of thousands of times, capture the greatest ecstasy of this life completely and without omission at this moment, in this extremely close place.

After the movement that seemed to be an illusion fell silent again, Mu Chengan's eyes finally turned red.

His hand was still clinging stiffly, biting the crying that was about to burst, Mu Chengan stretched out his other arm vigorously, and rang the bell beside the bed.

It was only when there were chaotic and eager footsteps in the corridor that he curled up his fingers, leaned down while shaking his body, and pressed his forehead firmly on that hand, looking for a fulcrum.

In the end, Mu Chengan couldn't hold it anymore and leaned against the wall.

Looking at the people coming and going, he didn't dare to vent his anger, so he had to lower his head again and again, and then raised it hastily, not knowing when he started to cry, silently and turbulently.

After going through this long and hopeful torment, when only the doctor was left standing on the bedside, Mu Chengan opened his mouth, only to realize that he could not utter a sound.

After a long while, as if he was choking, he arched his body and coughed violently.

With the frequency of coughing, the whole person trembled like a helpless cub in the wilderness, not even daring to use force to take another look at the world.

The doctor buried his head down to record something, put the pen back into his pocket, and then turned around on his heels.

His face was full of tiredness, but he was smiling again.

When he came over, Mu Chengan just stopped his voice and straightened up.

The doctor felt the sight that was dodging from time to time, and caught a glimpse of the calm man on weekdays, but now he was like a helpless child, clutching the corner of his clothes, panting violently, with half expectation and half fear in his eyes.

Sighing, he patted his shoulder comfortingly, the doctor smiled in his eyes, but said solemnly: "You have waited."

Hearing this, Mu Chengan only maintained a grateful smile for a second, and then suddenly squatted down.

With his whole face buried in his legs, he pinched the other arm fiercely with one hand. In a burst of obvious pain, Mu Chengan trembled and panted silently for a long time before finally letting out his first sob .

The doctor walked away quietly and closed the door behind him.

Only this same room as usual remained, the night inside was normal, the man sleeping soundly on the bed was still the same, the difference was that the man squatting in the corner, for the first time in his life, hugged his head and cried.

All the waiting is no longer in vain.

The next day, when the doctor came for a routine inspection, he found that the man who had nearly collapsed last night had returned to his usual appearance at this moment.

Apart from red, swollen eyes, and wrinkled clothes, nothing could be seen.

Hearing the sound of footsteps, Mu Chengan turned his head suddenly, with a nervous look, like a child in a long-dry land holding a water bottle and looking at the sky.

His eyes were uncertain, and he gritted his teeth to hold on. The only thing that was really calm was the tightly clenched hand, which did not loosen at all.

Before he opened his mouth to overflow the first syllable, the doctor walked up to him with a smile, and said in a relaxed manner: "Although he has not fully recovered his consciousness, he should be able to feel some of the surrounding environment. There is nothing he dare not say in the future." Stop talking, restrain yourself, or you won't have time to regret it."

Listening to the doctor's jokes, Mu Chengan, who was no longer tense, gently stroked the other's skin with his thumb. After a long time, he asked softly, "Then how long will it take him to be completely..."

Before he finished speaking, he choked up.

Probably those two words, for such a long time before, have been regarded as taboos and taboos by myself, and when they can touch them now, they dare not touch them again.

I am always afraid that if I am careless, my dream will come true, and then it will be shattered again.

"We can't be sure about this. After all, each person's situation is different, and the patient's desire to survive must also be considered..." The doctor first said a long series in a serious manner, then glanced at the other party's obviously dimmed face, and then paused , changed his look.

He smiled, and then said: "But for him, the opportunity and the reason for waking up already exist."

Mu Chengan's eyes instantly brightened, as if a fire had been lit.

Looking at the clasped fingers of the two, the doctor always had the illusion that he was playing a prank.

He was a little embarrassed, and hurriedly finished the last sentence: "He has tried his best for you and re-established the connection with this world. So, as long as you stay here and don't leave him, then it's fine It's scary."

Sitting on the chair, Mu Chengan tossed, rubbed and rubbed his limp palms, his soft eyes always fell on the person on the bed, and after a long silence, he finally let out a soft whisper.

Thinking of the doctor who had just left, and immediately turned back to ask himself what he said, Mu Chengan called out softly to the poor little guy on the bed who didn't care about the world, "Luo Luo..."

"Will you forgive me and come home with me?" he asked.

Then, like a naive child, he spoke alone.But he laughed jokingly and teased: "I'll give you three seconds to think about it."

Three, two, one.

Well, welcome home.

----

"Xiao Ran." Calling to stop his friend who had just opened the door, Mu Chengan turned around.

Facing the suspicious gaze cast by Xiao Ran, he smiled sincerely: "Although I will be scolded for being hypocritical, I still want to say something..."

"Thank you."

"Tsk." Sure enough, Xiao Ran cast a mocking glance, his appearance was the same as when he was young, "Knowing that he will be scolded, he said it, I don't know who is used to it."

Then I remembered something, and hurriedly said: "Stop it, stop it, I know what you want to say. Stop talking, your teeth will hurt after hearing this."

Looking at Mu Chengan's face full of half-smiles, Xiao Ran waved his hands vigorously without seeing it: "I really can't help you, I only know how to talk about theory, but I haven't solved any practical problems."

After fully opening the door, Xiao Ran turned his head inadvertently, glanced at the tenderness on the face of the man in front of him, and rubbed his arms with tremors.

Then, as if nothing had happened, he looked at the person on the bed behind him with trembling eyelashes.

Pulling his gaze back, he met his friend's eyes and raised his voice slightly.

When Xiao Ran spoke, his tone was meaningful: "Thank you so much, wait for that guy to turn his head around and remember what he forgot before talking about it."

"At that time, you will come to thank Dade and cry bitterly at me for three days and three nights."

The author has something to say:

I fell asleep with my arm on my pillow last night. I was out all day today... my right hand is sore and sore and I can’t straighten it orz

Fortunately, it does not affect the codeword XD

Thank you, little angels, for forgiving me for being a little late, hurry up, it’s still past zero (crying and apologizing) qwq